--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I wasn't prepared for the fact that grief…" description: "\"I wasn't prepared for the fact that grief is so unpredictable. It wasn't just sadness, and it wasn't linear. Somehow I'd thought that the first days wo..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e83/meghan-o-rourke-9574_death_i-wasn-t-prepared-for-the-fact-that-grie_586116.jpg" --- # I wasn't prepared for the fact that grief is so… ![“I wasn't prepared for the fact that grief is so unpredictable. It wasn't just sadness, and it wasn't linear. Somehow I'd thought that the first days would be the worst and then it would get steadily better - like getting over the flu. That's not how it was.” quote by Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e83/meghan-o-rourke-9574_death_i-wasn-t-prepared-for-the-fact-that-grie_586116.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e83/meghan-o-rourke-9574_death_i-wasn-t-prepared-for-the-fact-that-grie_586116.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e83/meghan-o-rourke-9574_death_i-wasn-t-prepared-for-the-fact-that-grie_586116.jpg) > “I wasn't prepared for the fact that grief is so unpredictable. It wasn't just sadness, and it wasn't linear. Somehow I'd thought that the first days would be the worst and then it would get steadily better - like getting over the flu. That's not how it was.” [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Grief is irregular, non‑linear, and often defies expectations of a predictable healing timeline. **In simple terms:** Grief is unpredictable and not just sadness. Key Takeaway Accept unpredictability; seek support. Themes grief emotion healing Mood reflective somber Type personal emotional When to use this quote - bereavement - therapy - support groups - personal reflection - journaling Key Concepts psychology nonlinear processes Questions to Reflect On - How do you recognize grief’s changing shapes? - What support helps when expectations fail? A Different Perspective Grief may still feel overwhelming despite acceptance. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [Facts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/facts/) [First Day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/first-day/) [Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) [Sadness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sadness/) [Unpredictable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unpredictable/) ## Related quotes > [“Julia was like water in his hands. She'd slipped right through. Lovely and strange and unpredictable, she'd been everything he wasn't. Nothing he was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-addison-allen/julia-was-like-water-in-his-hands-she-d-slipped-right-through-lovely/) [Sarah Addison Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-addison-allen/) > [The fact that grief takes so long to resolve is not a sign of inadequacy, but betokens depth of soul.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-woods-winnicott/the-fact-that-grief-takes-so-long-to-resolve-is-not-a-sign-of/) [Donald Woods Winnicott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-woods-winnicott/) > [“Where there is grief there is no space for new love. For in fact grief is in itself a love that is dark, transformed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paraschiva-florescu/where-there-is-grief-there-is-no-space-for-new-love-for-in-fact-grief/) Paraschiva Florescu > [“Life has a way of doing that; one minute everything makes sense, the next, things change. People get sick. Families break apart, your friends…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/liz-murray/life-has-a-way-of-doing-that-one-minute-everything-makes-sense-the/) [Liz Murray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/liz-murray/) > [This sadness wasn't a huge part of me--I wasn't remotely depressed--but still, it was like a stone I carried in my pocket. I always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dani-shapiro/this-sadness-wasn-t-a-huge-part-of-me-i-wasn-t-remotely-depressed-but/) [Dani Shapiro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dani-shapiro/) > [“There was always something else in him. It was more than sadness. It wasn't hate; hate is simple, and Sebastian was never easy to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malin-persson-giolito/there-was-always-something-else-in-him-it-was-more-than-sadness-it/) [Malin Persson Giolito](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malin-persson-giolito/) > [Her sadness wasn't a pose.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/needa-muy/her-sadness-wasn-t-a-pose/) [Needa Muy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/needa-muy/) > [“when she was younger, hannah liked to feel sad, so long as it was artifical sad' that was what she called it when the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-noble/when-she-was-younger-hannah-liked-to-feel-sad-so-long-as-it-was/) [Elizabeth Noble](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-noble/) > [“Sadness wasn't a disease you could catch, as far as I know, but from what I seen, people treated it like it was.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-m-bryski/sadness-wasn-t-a-disease-you-could-catch-as-far-as-i-know-but-from/) [L.M. Bryski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-m-bryski/) > [It is a good idea for everyone who does not have contra-indications to receive a flu shot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-johnson/it-is-a-good-idea-for-everyone-who-does-not-have-contra-indications/) [Amy Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-johnson/) > [Most of the common infections - colds, flu, diarrhea - you get environmentally transmitted either in the air or on surfaces you touch. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-p-gerba/most-of-the-common-infections-colds-flu-diarrhea-you-get/) Charles P. Gerba > [The President has once again failed us. Millions of Americans are at risk of going without the flu vaccine this year because the administration…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-corzine/the-president-has-once-again-failed-us-millions-of-americans-are-at/) [Jon Corzine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-corzine/) > [With the absence of a flu vaccination last year, I did not take a flu shot; but there is still some immunity that carries…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/with-the-absence-of-a-flu-vaccination-last-year-i-did-not-take-a-flu/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [For the planet's sake, I hope we have bird flu or some other thing that will reduce the population, because otherwise we're doomed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-blackmore/for-the-planet-s-sake-i-hope-we-have-bird-flu-or-some-other-thing/) [Susan Blackmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-blackmore/) > [Just think: your family are the people most likely to give you the flu.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-wagner/just-think-your-family-are-the-people-most-likely-to-give-you-the-flu/) [Jane Wagner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-wagner/) ## More by Meghan O'Rourke > ['Hamlet' is the best description of grief I've read because it dramatizes grief rather than merely describing it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/hamlet-is-the-best-description-of-grief-i-ve-read-because-it/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [Sometimes you don't even know what you want until you find out you can't have it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/sometimes-you-don-t-even-know-what-you-want-until-you-find-out-you/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [Grief is at once a public and a private experience. One's inner, inexpressible disruption cannot be fully realized in one's public persona.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/grief-is-at-once-a-public-and-a-private-experience-one-s-inner/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [There are many kinds of loss embedded in a loss - the loss of the person, and the loss of the self you got…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/there-are-many-kinds-of-loss-embedded-in-a-loss-the-loss-of-the/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [One of the difficulties with grief research is that it risks making certain kinds of grief seem normal and others abnormal - and of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/one-of-the-difficulties-with-grief-research-is-that-it-risks-making/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [This is part of the complexity of grief: A piece of you recognizes it is an extreme state, an altered state, yet a large…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/this-is-part-of-the-complexity-of-grief-a-piece-of-you-recognizes-it/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [The people we most love do become a physical part of us, ingrained in our synapses, in the pathways where memories are created.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/the-people-we-most-love-do-become-a-physical-part-of-us-ingrained-in/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [My theory is this: Women falter when they're called on to be highly self-conscious about their talents. Not when they're called on to enact…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/my-theory-is-this-women-falter-when-they-re-called-on-to-be-highly/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [Grief is characterized much more by waves of feeling that lessen and reoccur, it's less like stages and more like different states of feeling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/grief-is-characterized-much-more-by-waves-of-feeling-that-lessen-and/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [For sure, the funeral industry seems intensely cynical to me and I don't think it is HELPING people mourn.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/for-sure-the-funeral-industry-seems-intensely-cynical-to-me-and-i-don/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [To mourn is to wonder at the strangeness that grief is not written all over your face in bruised hieroglyphics. And it's also to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/to-mourn-is-to-wonder-at-the-strangeness-that-grief-is-not-written/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [A mother, after all, is your entry into the world. She is the shell in which you divide and become a life. Waking up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/a-mother-after-all-is-your-entry-into-the-world-she-is-the-shell-in/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [But when my mother died, I found that I did not believe that she was gone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/but-when-my-mother-died-i-found-that-i-did-not-believe-that-she-was/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [Like my mother before me, I have always been a good speller.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/like-my-mother-before-me-i-have-always-been-a-good-speller/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [A mother is the portal by which you enter the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/a-mother-is-the-portal-by-which-you-enter-the-world/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) [Explore all 71 Meghan O'Rourke quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) ## More Death quotes > [“He wondered how it was fair that your dying should depend so much on when you were born.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-albom/he-wondered-how-it-was-fair-that-your-dying-should-depend-so-much-on/) [Mitch Albom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-albom/) > [What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions. Life is plurality, death is uniformity. By suppressing differences and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/octavio-paz/what-sets-worlds-in-motion-is-the-interplay-of-differences-their/) [Octavio Paz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/octavio-paz/) > [Most of us are convinced that we are our egos, which is who we think we are. The ego is part of our incarnation.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ram-dass/most-of-us-are-convinced-that-we-are-our-egos-which-is-who-we-think/) [Ram Dass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ram-dass/) > [I do not want to live at the cost of the life even of a snake. I should let him bite me to death…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahatma-gandhi/i-do-not-want-to-live-at-the-cost-of-the-life-even-of-a-snake-i/) [Mahatma Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahatma-gandhi/) > [“It was beautiful. He thought he had never seen anything so beautiful in all his life; that, having seen it, he could die content,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mira-grant/it-was-beautiful-he-thought-he-had-never-seen-anything-so-beautiful/) [Mira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mira-grant/) > [Retirement? You're talking about death, right?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-altman/retirement-you-re-talking-about-death-right/) [Robert Altman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-altman/) > [With multiplayer, permanent death, and an ever-changing world to explore and conquer, 'A Valley Without Wind' might be the place you're looking for if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-manuel/with-multiplayer-permanent-death-and-an-ever-changing-world-to/) [Rob Manuel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-manuel/) > [“What did you see?” she asked gently. His brow furrowed, as if he could not understand the question. Then his eyes turned to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-anthony-torino/what-did-you-see-she-asked-gently-his-brow-furrowed-as-if-he-could/) J. Anthony Torino > [Those whose life is long still strive for gain, and for all mortals all things take second place to money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophocles/those-whose-life-is-long-still-strive-for-gain-and-for-all-mortals/) [Sophocles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophocles/) > [“I practice Dying--every night-- But have not learned to, still-- Though Talented--by Mortal bones-- For such a common Skill.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-w-powers/i-practice-dying-every-night-but-have-not-learned-to-still-though/) Alan W. Powers > [“You must understand the pain and grief of losing someone is nothing more than a function of survival.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-cooper/you-must-understand-the-pain-and-grief-of-losing-someone-is-nothing/) [Steven Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-cooper/) > [I am not a depressive person at all, but I reflect a lot on my life, and life in general, from the perspective of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/i-am-not-a-depressive-person-at-all-but-i-reflect-a-lot-on-my-life/) [Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/) > [“Death is a reality that calls the rest of life and all of our assorted strivings into sharp relief.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/death-is-a-reality-that-calls-the-rest-of-life-and-all-of-our/) [Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/) > [I love life. I love life to death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emmanuelle-riva/i-love-life-i-love-life-to-death/) [Emmanuelle Riva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emmanuelle-riva/) > [I think when you’re dying you start looking for important things in the corners. You can’t let anything that seems even semi-important pass, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-crutcher/i-think-when-you-re-dying-you-start-looking-for-important-things-in/) [Chris Crutcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-crutcher/) [Browse all 39,127 Death quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I wasn't prepared for the fact that grief is so unpredictable. It wasn't just sadness, and it wasn't linear. Somehow I'd thought that the first days would be the worst and then it would get steadily better - like getting over the flu. 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