--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Grief is characterized much more by waves…" description: "\"Grief is characterized much more by waves of feeling that lessen and reoccur, it's less like stages and more like different states of feeling.\" — Megha..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb1/meghan-o-rourke-9574_death_grief-is-characterized-much-more-by-wave_480004.jpg" --- # Grief is characterized much more by waves of feeling that… ![“Grief is characterized much more by waves of feeling that lessen and reoccur, it's less like stages and more like different states of feeling.” quote by Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb1/meghan-o-rourke-9574_death_grief-is-characterized-much-more-by-wave_480004.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb1/meghan-o-rourke-9574_death_grief-is-characterized-much-more-by-wave_480004.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb1/meghan-o-rourke-9574_death_grief-is-characterized-much-more-by-wave_480004.jpg) > “Grief is characterized much more by waves of feeling that lessen and reoccur, it's less like stages and more like different states of feeling.” [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Grief unfolds in unpredictable waves, not fixed stages, with feelings that ebb and flow over time. **In simple terms:** Grief comes in waves, not steps. Key Takeaway Accept the ebb and flow. Themes grief emotion healing Mood melancholic hopeful Type self-help psychological When to use this quote - loss of a loved one - breakup - job loss - health diagnosis Key Concepts psychology nonlinear processes Questions to Reflect On - How do you recognize a new wave of grief? - What helps you ride the emotional tides? A Different Perspective The wave metaphor may oversimplify chronic, complex trauma. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) [Stage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stage/) ## Related quotes > [We lived always in the stretch or sag of nerves, either on the crest or in the trough of waves of feeling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/we-lived-always-in-the-stretch-or-sag-of-nerves-either-on-the-crest/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [External circumstances do not create feeling states. Feeling states create external circumstances.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/external-circumstances-do-not-create-feeling-states-feeling-states/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [I just love being on the ocean and being creative on the waves and the feeling you get when you're surfing. All around it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bethany-hamilton/i-just-love-being-on-the-ocean-and-being-creative-on-the-waves-and/) [Bethany Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bethany-hamilton/) > [Sometimes the media says, well, this state had an election, it's the end of the campaign. It is not. We have dozens of more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernie-sanders/sometimes-the-media-says-well-this-state-had-an-election-it-s-the-end/) [Bernie Sanders](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernie-sanders/) > [Grief is at once a public and a private experience. One's inner, inexpressible disruption cannot be fully realized in one's public persona.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/grief-is-at-once-a-public-and-a-private-experience-one-s-inner/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > ['Hamlet' is the best description of grief I've read because it dramatizes grief rather than merely describing it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/hamlet-is-the-best-description-of-grief-i-ve-read-because-it/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [If I could wave a magic wand, I'd break up the banking system.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kenneth-c-griffin/if-i-could-wave-a-magic-wand-i-d-break-up-the-banking-system/) [Kenneth C. Griffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kenneth-c-griffin/) > [And wheresoever, in his rich creation, Sweet music breathes--in wave, or bird, or soul-- 'Tis but the faint and far reverberation Of that great…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frances-sargent-osgood/and-wheresoever-in-his-rich-creation-sweet-music-breathes-in-wave-or/) [Frances Sargent Osgood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frances-sargent-osgood/) > [When we went into the ocean, I watched his body as he dove into the waves, and it gave me a feeling in my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-krauss/when-we-went-into-the-ocean-i-watched-his-body-as-he-dove-into-the/) [Nicole Krauss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-krauss/) > [I worked in a barbershop. I used to make the waves in the brother's hair, you know? Like, Nat King Cole, Sugar Ray Robinson.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-clinton/i-worked-in-a-barbershop-i-used-to-make-the-waves-in-the-brother-s/) [George Clinton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-clinton/) > [When you were riding on the crest of a wave, youwere most likely to be missing out on something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/knute-rockne/when-you-were-riding-on-the-crest-of-a-wave-youwere-most-likely-to-be/) [Knute Rockne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/knute-rockne/) > [When I made it, I still didn't wave the flag and say, Yeah go Asian people. I do want people to know that about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chad-hugo/when-i-made-it-i-still-didn-t-wave-the-flag-and-say-yeah-go-asian/) [Chad Hugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chad-hugo/) > ['Brace the Wave' is an acoustic-electric record recorded with electricity on analog-digital and digitally-analog equipment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lou-barlow/brace-the-wave-is-an-acoustic-electric-record-recorded-with/) [Lou Barlow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lou-barlow/) > [With the realization of God comes all power. If the little wave knew that behind it is the great ocean, it could say, "I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paramahansa-yogananda/with-the-realization-of-god-comes-all-power-if-the-little-wave-knew/) [Paramahansa Yogananda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paramahansa-yogananda/) > [It is sometimes said that scientists are unromantic, that their passion to figure out robs the world of beauty and mystery. But is it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-sagan/it-is-sometimes-said-that-scientists-are-unromantic-that-their/) [Carl Sagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-sagan/) ## More by Meghan O'Rourke > ['Hamlet' is the best description of grief I've read because it dramatizes grief rather than merely describing it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/hamlet-is-the-best-description-of-grief-i-ve-read-because-it/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [Sometimes you don't even know what you want until you find out you can't have it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/sometimes-you-don-t-even-know-what-you-want-until-you-find-out-you/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [Grief is at once a public and a private experience. One's inner, inexpressible disruption cannot be fully realized in one's public persona.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/grief-is-at-once-a-public-and-a-private-experience-one-s-inner/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [There are many kinds of loss embedded in a loss - the loss of the person, and the loss of the self you got…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/there-are-many-kinds-of-loss-embedded-in-a-loss-the-loss-of-the/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [One of the difficulties with grief research is that it risks making certain kinds of grief seem normal and others abnormal - and of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/one-of-the-difficulties-with-grief-research-is-that-it-risks-making/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [This is part of the complexity of grief: A piece of you recognizes it is an extreme state, an altered state, yet a large…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/this-is-part-of-the-complexity-of-grief-a-piece-of-you-recognizes-it/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [The people we most love do become a physical part of us, ingrained in our synapses, in the pathways where memories are created.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/the-people-we-most-love-do-become-a-physical-part-of-us-ingrained-in/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [My theory is this: Women falter when they're called on to be highly self-conscious about their talents. Not when they're called on to enact…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/my-theory-is-this-women-falter-when-they-re-called-on-to-be-highly/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [I wasn't prepared for the fact that grief is so unpredictable. It wasn't just sadness, and it wasn't linear. Somehow I'd thought that the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/i-wasn-t-prepared-for-the-fact-that-grief-is-so-unpredictable-it-wasn/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [For sure, the funeral industry seems intensely cynical to me and I don't think it is HELPING people mourn.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/for-sure-the-funeral-industry-seems-intensely-cynical-to-me-and-i-don/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [To mourn is to wonder at the strangeness that grief is not written all over your face in bruised hieroglyphics. And it's also to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/to-mourn-is-to-wonder-at-the-strangeness-that-grief-is-not-written/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [A mother, after all, is your entry into the world. She is the shell in which you divide and become a life. Waking up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/a-mother-after-all-is-your-entry-into-the-world-she-is-the-shell-in/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [But when my mother died, I found that I did not believe that she was gone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/but-when-my-mother-died-i-found-that-i-did-not-believe-that-she-was/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [Like my mother before me, I have always been a good speller.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/like-my-mother-before-me-i-have-always-been-a-good-speller/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) > [A mother is the portal by which you enter the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/a-mother-is-the-portal-by-which-you-enter-the-world/) [Meghan O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) [Explore all 71 Meghan O'Rourke quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/) ## More Death quotes > [“He wondered how it was fair that your dying should depend so much on when you were born.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-albom/he-wondered-how-it-was-fair-that-your-dying-should-depend-so-much-on/) [Mitch Albom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-albom/) > [What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions. Life is plurality, death is uniformity. By suppressing differences and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/octavio-paz/what-sets-worlds-in-motion-is-the-interplay-of-differences-their/) [Octavio Paz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/octavio-paz/) > [Most of us are convinced that we are our egos, which is who we think we are. The ego is part of our incarnation.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ram-dass/most-of-us-are-convinced-that-we-are-our-egos-which-is-who-we-think/) [Ram Dass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ram-dass/) > [I do not want to live at the cost of the life even of a snake. I should let him bite me to death…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahatma-gandhi/i-do-not-want-to-live-at-the-cost-of-the-life-even-of-a-snake-i/) [Mahatma Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahatma-gandhi/) > [“It was beautiful. He thought he had never seen anything so beautiful in all his life; that, having seen it, he could die content,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mira-grant/it-was-beautiful-he-thought-he-had-never-seen-anything-so-beautiful/) [Mira Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mira-grant/) > [Retirement? You're talking about death, right?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-altman/retirement-you-re-talking-about-death-right/) [Robert Altman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-altman/) > [With multiplayer, permanent death, and an ever-changing world to explore and conquer, 'A Valley Without Wind' might be the place you're looking for if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-manuel/with-multiplayer-permanent-death-and-an-ever-changing-world-to/) [Rob Manuel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-manuel/) > [“What did you see?” she asked gently. His brow furrowed, as if he could not understand the question. Then his eyes turned to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-anthony-torino/what-did-you-see-she-asked-gently-his-brow-furrowed-as-if-he-could/) J. Anthony Torino > [Those whose life is long still strive for gain, and for all mortals all things take second place to money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophocles/those-whose-life-is-long-still-strive-for-gain-and-for-all-mortals/) [Sophocles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophocles/) > [“I practice Dying--every night-- But have not learned to, still-- Though Talented--by Mortal bones-- For such a common Skill.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-w-powers/i-practice-dying-every-night-but-have-not-learned-to-still-though/) Alan W. Powers > [“You must understand the pain and grief of losing someone is nothing more than a function of survival.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-cooper/you-must-understand-the-pain-and-grief-of-losing-someone-is-nothing/) [Steven Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-cooper/) > [I am not a depressive person at all, but I reflect a lot on my life, and life in general, from the perspective of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/i-am-not-a-depressive-person-at-all-but-i-reflect-a-lot-on-my-life/) [Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/) > [“Death is a reality that calls the rest of life and all of our assorted strivings into sharp relief.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/death-is-a-reality-that-calls-the-rest-of-life-and-all-of-our/) [Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/) > [I love life. I love life to death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emmanuelle-riva/i-love-life-i-love-life-to-death/) [Emmanuelle Riva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emmanuelle-riva/) > [I think when you’re dying you start looking for important things in the corners. You can’t let anything that seems even semi-important pass, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-crutcher/i-think-when-you-re-dying-you-start-looking-for-important-things-in/) [Chris Crutcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-crutcher/) [Browse all 39,127 Death quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Grief is characterized much more by waves of feeling that lessen and reoccur, it's less like stages and more like different states of feeling.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Meghan O'Rourke" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/grief-is-characterized-much-more-by-waves-of-feeling-that-lessen-and/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Death" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/grief-is-characterized-much-more-by-waves-of-feeling-that-lessen-and/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb1/meghan-o-rourke-9574_death_grief-is-characterized-much-more-by-wave_480004.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb1/meghan-o-rourke-9574_death_grief-is-characterized-much-more-by-wave_480004.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb1/meghan-o-rourke-9574_death_grief-is-characterized-much-more-by-wave_480004.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Grief is characterized much more by waves of feeling that lessen and reoccur, it's less like stages and more…” — Meghan O'Rourke", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Meghan O'Rourke", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-o-rourke/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Grief is characterized much more by...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/grief-is-characterized-much-more-by-waves-of-feeling-that-lessen-and/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-o-rourke/grief-is-characterized-much-more-by-waves-of-feeling-that-lessen-and/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```