--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The only way to learn compassion is…" description: "\"The only way to learn compassion is through your heart; you have to back up and pass through your own pain.\" — Matthew Fox" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa2/matthew-fox-4448_compassion_the-only-way-to-learn-compassion-is-thro_1945888.png" --- # The only way to learn compassion is through your heart… ![“The only way to learn compassion is through your heart; you have to back up and pass through your own pain.” quote by Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa2/matthew-fox-4448_compassion_the-only-way-to-learn-compassion-is-thro_1945888.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa2/matthew-fox-4448_compassion_the-only-way-to-learn-compassion-is-thro_1945888.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa2/matthew-fox-4448_compassion_the-only-way-to-learn-compassion-is-thro_1945888.png) > “The only way to learn compassion is through your heart; you have to back up and pass through your own pain.” [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. True compassion arises only after experiencing personal suffering and emotional honesty. **In simple terms:** Compassion grows from personal pain. Key Takeaway Embrace your pain to develop empathy. Themes empathy personal growth spirituality Mood reflective hopeful Type spiritual inspirational When to use this quote - therapy sessions - volunteering - support groups - personal reflection Key Concepts self-awareness emotional intelligence healing Questions to Reflect On - How can you safely confront your pain? - What practices help transform suffering? A Different Perspective Compassion can be hindered by trauma. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Compassion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compassion/) [Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heart/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) ## Related quotes > [Travel, trouble, music, art, a kiss, a frock, a rhyme -- I never said they feed my heart, but still they pass my time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-parker/travel-trouble-music-art-a-kiss-a-frock-a-rhyme-i-never-said-they/) [Dorothy Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-parker/) > [The more you push, pass that pain, to feel the exhilaration of what that pain really delivers, then you will find the values of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-plitt/the-more-you-push-pass-that-pain-to-feel-the-exhilaration-of-what/) [Greg Plitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-plitt/) > [All things pass and pain is temporary. It comes to teach a lesson and when the lesson is understood it disappears into the night.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leon-brown/all-things-pass-and-pain-is-temporary-it-comes-to-teach-a-lesson-and/) [Leon Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leon-brown/) > [“I understand how sometimes you have to pass the pain around in order to survive it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-engel/i-understand-how-sometimes-you-have-to-pass-the-pain-around-in-order/) [Amy Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-engel/) > [Sometimes we find ourselves in desperate need and we look to those of privilege and power. It's then we learn compassion sits inert upon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bad-religion/sometimes-we-find-ourselves-in-desperate-need-and-we-look-to-those-of/) [Bad Religion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bad-religion/) > [“But gradually we learn something very precious under the tutelage of these wounds. We learn a compassion for others that replaces judging, self-loathing, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-laird/but-gradually-we-learn-something-very-precious-under-the-tutelage-of/) [Martin Laird](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-laird/) > [We have to make mistakes, its how we learn compassion for others](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/we-have-to-make-mistakes-its-how-we-learn-compassion-for-others/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) > [YOU MUST LEARN THE COMPASSION PROPER TO YOUR TRADE" "And what's that?" "A SHARP EDGE.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-must-learn-the-compassion-proper-to-your-trade-and-what-s-that-a/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [If we begin to get in touch with whatever we feel with some kind of kindness, our protective shells will melt, and we'll find…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/if-we-begin-to-get-in-touch-with-whatever-we-feel-with-some-kind-of/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [I had to learn compassion. Had to learn what it felt like to hate, and to forgive and to love and be loved. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-penny/i-had-to-learn-compassion-had-to-learn-what-it-felt-like-to-hate-and/) [Louise Penny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-penny/) > [Dealing with difficult people, you learn compassion and patience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/dealing-with-difficult-people-you-learn-compassion-and-patience/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Love can come from enduring ones life journey, where from such a venture, you will learn compassion and humility, leading you to God.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alastair-agutter/love-can-come-from-enduring-ones-life-journey-where-from-such-a/) [Alastair Agutter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alastair-agutter/) > [As we learn to have compassion for ourselves, the circle of compassion for others - what and whom we can work with, and how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/as-we-learn-to-have-compassion-for-ourselves-the-circle-of-compassion/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Were it not for the relationship I have with Christ, the world surely would have run me down by now…Certainly I'll never find the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bret-lott/were-it-not-for-the-relationship-i-have-with-christ-the-world-surely/) [Bret Lott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bret-lott/) > [“We have to make mistakes, it's how we learn compassion for others.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/we-have-to-make-mistakes-it-s-how-we-learn-compassion-for-others/) [Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/) ## More by Matthew Fox > [I turn a lot of stuff down - big, big movies, the kind I wouldn't want to go to the cinema to see.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/i-turn-a-lot-of-stuff-down-big-big-movies-the-kind-i-wouldn-t-want-to/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [We honor life when we work. The type of work is not important: the fact of work is. All work feeds the soul if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/we-honor-life-when-we-work-the-type-of-work-is-not-important-the-fact/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [Evil is the shadow of angel. Just as there are angels of light, support, guidance, healing and defense, so we have experiences of shadow…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/evil-is-the-shadow-of-angel-just-as-there-are-angels-of-light-support/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [I'm not really a tropical paradise kind of person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/i-m-not-really-a-tropical-paradise-kind-of-person/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [We must work on our souls, enlarging and expanding them. We do so by experiencing all of life-the beauty and the joy as well…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/we-must-work-on-our-souls-enlarging-and-expanding-them-we-do-so-by/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [I don't think that fundamentalism has anything to do with Jesus Christ. They call themselves Christians, but if that's Christian, count me out. Fundamentalism…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/i-don-t-think-that-fundamentalism-has-anything-to-do-with-jesus/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [“where does creativity come from? Creativity comes from the Universe itself. “There is music and poetry in the Universe itself — surely we hear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/where-does-creativity-come-from-creativity-comes-from-the-universe/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [I didn't learn to swim until I was 21 or something because I grew up in the mountains in Wyoming and all the water…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/i-didn-t-learn-to-swim-until-i-was-21-or-something-because-i-grew-up/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [I think you've got to take your time and make sure you're making choices that are smart for you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/i-think-you-ve-got-to-take-your-time-and-make-sure-you-re-making/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [Animals teach us about the animals in ourselves. We need their spirits.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/animals-teach-us-about-the-animals-in-ourselves-we-need-their-spirits/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [The universe is in the habit of making beauty. There are flowers and songs, snowflakes and smiles, acts of great courage, laughter between friends,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/the-universe-is-in-the-habit-of-making-beauty-there-are-flowers-and/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [“If you don't work on yourself, then much of your politics is merely projections. We have to walk our talk and do the inner…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/if-you-don-t-work-on-yourself-then-much-of-your-politics-is-merely/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [Any time I need to be really physical, and a role requires that, you're kind of viscerally activated by being that physical in it.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/any-time-i-need-to-be-really-physical-and-a-role-requires-that-you-re/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [I directed an episode of 'Party of Five' toward the very end of that show. It was a great experience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/i-directed-an-episode-of-party-of-five-toward-the-very-end-of-that/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) > [“Who is this woman who took on the Emporer Barbarosa, comparing him to an infant and a madman, and threatened that God’s sword would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/who-is-this-woman-who-took-on-the-emporer-barbarosa-comparing-him-to/) [Matthew Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) [Explore all 111 Matthew Fox quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/) ## More Compassion quotes > [Half the misery of human life might be extinguished if men would alleviate the general curse they lie under by mutual offices of compassion,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-addison/half-the-misery-of-human-life-might-be-extinguished-if-men-would/) [Joseph Addison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-addison/) > [“I fight with love and kindness as my weapons and compassion as my defense.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debasish-mridha/i-fight-with-love-and-kindness-as-my-weapons-and-compassion-as-my/) [Debasish Mridha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debasish-mridha/) > [I really enjoy making people laugh; I've discovered that's a great technique. That's as powerful as stirring their sorrow, stirring their compassion, because that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-lucado/i-really-enjoy-making-people-laugh-i-ve-discovered-that-s-a-great/) [Max Lucado](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-lucado/) > [“If you refuse to use physical force, then you will be at the mercy of your oppressor!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/segun-magbagbeola/if-you-refuse-to-use-physical-force-then-you-will-be-at-the-mercy-of/) Segun Magbagbeola > [For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/geneen-roth/for-some-reason-we-are-truly-convinced-that-if-we-criticize-ourselves/) [Geneen Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/geneen-roth/) > [I could not have slept tonight if I had left that helpless little creature to perish on the ground.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abraham-lincoln/i-could-not-have-slept-tonight-if-i-had-left-that-helpless-little/) [Abraham Lincoln](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abraham-lincoln/) > [We are puzzled and bewildered whenever we see suffering in this world because we have become accustomed to the mercy and the long-suffering of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-c-sproul/we-are-puzzled-and-bewildered-whenever-we-see-suffering-in-this-world/) [R. C. Sproul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-c-sproul/) > [“Helpers in every corner, helpers in every hood. That's how we'll make the move, to reform from rude.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhijit-naskar/helpers-in-every-corner-helpers-in-every-hood-that-s-how-we-ll-make/) [Abhijit Naskar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhijit-naskar/) > [There are a number of qualities which are important for mental peace, but from the little experience I have, I believe that one of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dalai-lama/there-are-a-number-of-qualities-which-are-important-for-mental-peace/) [Dalai Lama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dalai-lama/) > [May the gods have mercy on whoever pisses them off, because Zarek and Jericho will have none for them. (Madoc) You’d better be glad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/may-the-gods-have-mercy-on-whoever-pisses-them-off-because-zarek-and/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/when-you-need-empathy-you-cannot-give-empathy/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [But victimhood was seductive, a release from responsibility and caring. Fear would be transmuted into weary resignation; failure would no longer generate guilt but,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/but-victimhood-was-seductive-a-release-from-responsibility-and-caring/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) > [“No one has any right to tell you that the way you perceive yourself is wrong. Because by doing so, they also discourage the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kamand-kojouri/no-one-has-any-right-to-tell-you-that-the-way-you-perceive-yourself/) [Kamand Kojouri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kamand-kojouri/) > [“la ilaha ilallah muhammadun rasulullah, alaihi salatullah wa alihi wal ahibba "shine your mercy like the sun, and be gracious as the earth let…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/talib-al-habib/la-ilaha-ilallah-muhammadun-rasulullah-alaihi-salatullah-wa-alihi-wal/) Talib al Habib > [The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-darwin/the-love-for-all-living-creatures-is-the-most-noble-attribute-of-man/) [Charles Darwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-darwin/) [Browse all 9,892 Compassion quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compassion/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The only way to learn compassion is through your heart; you have to back up and pass through your own pain.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Matthew Fox" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/the-only-way-to-learn-compassion-is-through-your-heart-you-have-to/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Compassion" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/the-only-way-to-learn-compassion-is-through-your-heart-you-have-to/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa2/matthew-fox-4448_compassion_the-only-way-to-learn-compassion-is-thro_1945888.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa2/matthew-fox-4448_compassion_the-only-way-to-learn-compassion-is-thro_1945888.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa2/matthew-fox-4448_compassion_the-only-way-to-learn-compassion-is-thro_1945888.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The only way to learn compassion is through your heart; you have to back up and pass through your own pain.” — Matthew Fox", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Matthew Fox", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-fox/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "The only way to learn compassion...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/the-only-way-to-learn-compassion-is-through-your-heart-you-have-to/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-fox/the-only-way-to-learn-compassion-is-through-your-heart-you-have-to/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```