---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The conflict you’re having is not…"
description: "\"“The conflict you’re having is not primarily about them; God is working in this conflict to reveal something about you.”\" — Matt Chandler"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e1/matt-chandler-2213_conflict_the-conflict-you-re-having-is-not-primar_1059534.png"
---

#  The conflict you’re having is not primarily about them…

![“The conflict you’re having is not primarily about them; God is working in this conflict to reveal something about you.” quote by Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e1/matt-chandler-2213_conflict_the-conflict-you-re-having-is-not-primar_1059534.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e1/matt-chandler-2213_conflict_the-conflict-you-re-having-is-not-primar_1059534.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e1/matt-chandler-2213_conflict_the-conflict-you-re-having-is-not-primar_1059534.png)

> ““The conflict you’re having is not primarily about them; God is working in this conflict to reveal something about you.””

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

God uses personal conflicts to reveal inner truths about the individual, prompting self‑examination.

**In simple terms:** Conflicts expose personal spiritual lessons.

Key Takeaway

Reflect on what the conflict reveals about yourself.

Themes

spirituality conflict self‑awareness growth faith

Mood

thoughtful hopeful

Type

theological reflective

When to use this quote

- marriage counseling
- workplace disputes
- family disagreements
- spiritual retreats

Key Concepts

self‑reflection divine purpose personal development

Questions to Reflect On

- What personal patterns emerge during conflict?
- How can you seek divine insight in everyday tension?

A Different Perspective

Not all conflicts are divinely orchestrated; some are random or systemic.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Conflict](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conflict/) [War](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/war/)

## Related quotes

> [“Peace was not the absence of conflict; it was having the courage to face the conflict and make the right choices.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-d-evans/peace-was-not-the-absence-of-conflict-it-was-having-the-courage-to/)

Michael D. Evans

> [God is at work in the mess. That's the message of the Bible. That's why the Bible is not pretty. That's why it's grimy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/god-is-at-work-in-the-mess-that-s-the-message-of-the-bible-that-s-why/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [If religion means primarily God-consciousness, or the realization of God both within and without, and secondarily a body of beliefs, tenets and dogmas, then,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paramahansa-yogananda/if-religion-means-primarily-god-consciousness-or-the-realization-of/)

[Paramahansa Yogananda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paramahansa-yogananda/)

> [No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/no-man-that-has-ever-lived-has-done-a-thing-to-please-god-primarily/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [Love for yourself, love for the planet, love for each other. Love primarily for God - your number one relationship in life, your relationship…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayne-dyer/love-for-yourself-love-for-the-planet-love-for-each-other-love/)

[Wayne Dyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wayne-dyer/)

> [In doing one's work primarily for God, the fear of undue restriction is put, sooner or later, out of the question. He pays me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/basil-king/in-doing-one-s-work-primarily-for-god-the-fear-of-undue-restriction/)

[Basil King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/basil-king/)

> [The explanation is that prayer is not primarily God's way of getting things done. It is God's way of giving the church 'on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-billheimer/the-explanation-is-that-prayer-is-not-primarily-god-s-way-of-getting/)

[Paul Billheimer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-billheimer/)

> [“Prayer begins and ends not with the needs of man but with the glory of God (John 14:13). It should be concerned primarily with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-f-macarthur/prayer-begins-and-ends-not-with-the-needs-of-man-but-with-the-glory/)

[John F. MacArthur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-f-macarthur/)

> [“How is it then that we’ve come to imagine that Christianity consists primarily in what we do for God? How has this come to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brennan-manning/how-is-it-then-that-we-ve-come-to-imagine-that-christianity-consists/)

[Brennan Manning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brennan-manning/)

> [Worship is an exercise of the Holy Spirit directed primarily to God](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-martin/worship-is-an-exercise-of-the-holy-spirit-directed-primarily-to-god/)

[Ralph Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-martin/)

> [“Though her life hadn't turned out anything like she'd planned, she knew that in the darkest times God was always working. Always.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-kingsbury-ocean-s-apart/though-her-life-hadn-t-turned-out-anything-like-she-d-planned-she/)

[Karen Kingsbury Ocean's Apart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-kingsbury-ocean-s-apart/)

> [With all the decision making in my life, I often have to pause, look up and remember God is the One working behind the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/k-p-yohannan/with-all-the-decision-making-in-my-life-i-often-have-to-pause-look-up/)

[K.P. Yohannan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/k-p-yohannan/)

> [When I cannot understand my Father's leading, And it seems to be but hard and cruel fate, Still I hear that gentle whisper ever…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-b-simpson/when-i-cannot-understand-my-father-s-leading-and-it-seems-to-be-but/)

[A. B. Simpson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-b-simpson/)

> [If you trust God, then you will trust every situation good or bad; knowing that God is working it out for your good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dearlisa/if-you-trust-god-then-you-will-trust-every-situation-good-or-bad/)

[Dearlisa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dearlisa/)

> [“It's hard to know, isn't it, whether the things we face are just because the world is full of sin and sinful people, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tricia-goyer/it-s-hard-to-know-isn-t-it-whether-the-things-we-face-are-just/)

[Tricia Goyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tricia-goyer/)

## More by Matt Chandler

> [Engaging the city around us and ministering to its needs reveal to us the remaining bastions of sin in our lives, the areas we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/engaging-the-city-around-us-and-ministering-to-its-needs-reveal-to-us/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [You and I are stymied in our own creativity. We can only create as sub-creators, and even then our best work is only sub-creation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/you-and-i-are-stymied-in-our-own-creativity-we-can-only-create-as-sub/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [So what does it look like to live a life worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ? It looks like walking with, loving with,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/so-what-does-it-look-like-to-live-a-life-worthy-of-the-gospel-of/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [The universe shudders in horror that we have this infinitely valuable, infinitely deep, infinitely rich, infinitely wise, infinitely loving God, and instead of pursuing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/the-universe-shudders-in-horror-that-we-have-this-infinitely-valuable/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [“A schoolmate of Matt Chandler's with the locker next to his: "I need to tell you about Jesus. When do you want to do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/a-schoolmate-of-matt-chandler-s-with-the-locker-next-to-his-i-need-to/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [The cross of Christ is the response of God to men for belittling His name.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/the-cross-of-christ-is-the-response-of-god-to-men-for-belittling-his/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [Heaven is not a place for those who are afraid of hell; it’s a place for those who love God. You can scare people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/heaven-is-not-a-place-for-those-who-are-afraid-of-hell-it-s-a-place/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [If you're not confident in the authority of the Scriptures, you will be a slave to what sounds right.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/if-you-re-not-confident-in-the-authority-of-the-scriptures-you-will/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [Lots of neat Christian boys, not a lot of Godly men. And we are working our tails off for you to try to develop…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/lots-of-neat-christian-boys-not-a-lot-of-godly-men-and-we-are-working/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [“But isn’t the whole idea of sanctification the fact that we’re not really there yet? That we’re still growing and becoming? Still learning how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/but-isn-t-the-whole-idea-of-sanctification-the-fact-that-we-re-not/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [This avoidance of the difficult things of Scripture — of sinfulness and hell and God’s notable severity — is idolatrous and cowardly. If a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/this-avoidance-of-the-difficult-things-of-scripture-of-sinfulness-and/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [Grace does not make sin safe. But grace does make sinners safe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/grace-does-not-make-sin-safe-but-grace-does-make-sinners-safe/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [“But either way, the fruit of turning to God—before we sin, after we’ve sinned, even right there in the middle of our sin—is where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/but-either-way-the-fruit-of-turning-to-god-before-we-sin-after-we-ve/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [The great message that we call the gospel begins, then, not with us, or our need, or even the meeting of that need, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/the-great-message-that-we-call-the-gospel-begins-then-not-with-us-or/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

> [Worship is the way of life for those entranced by and passionate for the glory of God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/worship-is-the-way-of-life-for-those-entranced-by-and-passionate-for/)

[Matt Chandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

[Explore all 179 Matt Chandler quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/)

## More Conflict quotes

> [The history of mankind interests us only as it exhibits a steady gain of truth and right, in the incessant conflict which it records…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/the-history-of-mankind-interests-us-only-as-it-exhibits-a-steady-gain/)

[Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/)

> [The U.S.-Mexican border es un herida abierta where the Third World grates against the first and bleeds. And before a scab forms it hemorrhages…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-e-anzald-a/the-u-s-mexican-border-es-un-herida-abierta-where-the-third-world/)

[Gloria E. Anzaldúa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-e-anzald-a/)

> [There is a conflict in the Middle East between two entities, and they're both right, each in their own way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/reuven-rivlin/there-is-a-conflict-in-the-middle-east-between-two-entities-and-they/)

[Reuven Rivlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/reuven-rivlin/)

> [Conflict isn't negative, it just is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-crum/conflict-isn-t-negative-it-just-is/)

[Thomas Crum](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-crum/)

> [I have lived in countries that were coming out of conflict: Ireland, South Africa, the Czech republic. People there are overflowing with energy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-eno/i-have-lived-in-countries-that-were-coming-out-of-conflict-ireland/)

[Brian Eno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-eno/)

> [Africa, being the major target of colonial plunder, therefore becomes a major source of conflict.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gerald-horne/africa-being-the-major-target-of-colonial-plunder-therefore-becomes-a/)

[Gerald Horne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gerald-horne/)

> [All drama is conflict. Without conflict, there is no action. Without action, there is no character. Without character, there is no story. And without…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/syd-field/all-drama-is-conflict-without-conflict-there-is-no-action-without/)

[Syd Field](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/syd-field/)

> [The irrepressible conflict propounded by abolitionism has produced now its legitimate fruits - disunion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-irrepressible-conflict-propounded-by-abolitionism-has-produced/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“These are all good things, I said. But no one knows where your country is or who you are. You don't have a familiar…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-shteyngart/these-are-all-good-things-i-said-but-no-one-knows-where-your-country/)

[Gary Shteyngart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-shteyngart/)

> [I understand the formula that producers hire directors and directors are hired to direct and actors are hired to act. I don't have any…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danny-trejo/i-understand-the-formula-that-producers-hire-directors-and-directors/)

[Danny Trejo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danny-trejo/)

> [“While there is battle and hatred men have eyes for nothing save the fact that the enemy is the cause of all the troubles;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herbert-butterfield/while-there-is-battle-and-hatred-men-have-eyes-for-nothing-save-the/)

[Herbert Butterfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herbert-butterfield/)

> [UN peacekeeping operations are now increasingly complex and multi-dimensional, going beyond monitoring a ceasefire to actually bringing failed States back to life, often after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kofi-annan/un-peacekeeping-operations-are-now-increasingly-complex-and-multi/)

[Kofi Annan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kofi-annan/)

> [All men have an instinct for conflict: at least, all healthy men.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hilaire-belloc/all-men-have-an-instinct-for-conflict-at-least-all-healthy-men/)

[Hilaire Belloc](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hilaire-belloc/)

> [I didnt like the Survivor shows because of the mean-spirited aspect, and women certainly were part of whatever conflict they would create.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-lawrence/i-didnt-like-the-survivor-shows-because-of-the-mean-spirited-aspect/)

[Sharon Lawrence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-lawrence/)

> [“How we traverse the space between us when conflict arises has a profound effect on the health and longevity of our relationships.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/how-we-traverse-the-space-between-us-when-conflict-arises-has-a/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

[Browse all 3,969 Conflict quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conflict/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“The conflict you’re having is not primarily about them; God is working in this conflict to reveal something about you.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Matt Chandler"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/the-conflict-you-re-having-is-not-primarily-about-them-god-is-working/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Conflict"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/the-conflict-you-re-having-is-not-primarily-about-them-god-is-working/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e1/matt-chandler-2213_conflict_the-conflict-you-re-having-is-not-primar_1059534.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e1/matt-chandler-2213_conflict_the-conflict-you-re-having-is-not-primar_1059534.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e1/matt-chandler-2213_conflict_the-conflict-you-re-having-is-not-primar_1059534.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“The conflict you’re having is not primarily about them; God is working in this conflict to reveal something…” — Matt Chandler",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Matt Chandler",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-chandler/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“The conflict you’re having is not...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/the-conflict-you-re-having-is-not-primarily-about-them-god-is-working/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-chandler/the-conflict-you-re-having-is-not-primarily-about-them-god-is-working/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
