--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: People who expect deference resent mere…" description: "\"People who expect deference resent mere civility.\" — Mason Cooley" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/322/mason-cooley-92_civility_people-who-expect-deference-resent-mere_2035615.png" --- # People who expect deference resent mere civility. ![“People who expect deference resent mere civility.” quote by Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/322/mason-cooley-92_civility_people-who-expect-deference-resent-mere_2035615.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/322/mason-cooley-92_civility_people-who-expect-deference-resent-mere_2035615.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/322/mason-cooley-92_civility_people-who-expect-deference-resent-mere_2035615.png) > “People who expect deference resent mere civility.” [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Demanding respect can cause people to reject basic courtesy. **In simple terms:** Expecting deference breeds resentment. Key Takeaway Offer respect without demanding it. Themes respect civility social norms Mood calm thoughtful Type advisory philosophical When to use this quote - workplace - family - public service - education Key Concepts psychology etiquette Questions to Reflect On - How do you show respect naturally? - What triggers resentment in you? A Different Perspective Insisting on deference can alienate others. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Civility](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/civility/) [Deference](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deference/) [Deference Resent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deference-resent-3761590/) [Expect Deference](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/expect-deference-3761592/) [Mere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mere/) [Mere Civility](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mere-civility-3761591/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Resent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resent/) ## Related quotes > [Among the arts of conversation no one pleases more than mutual deference or civility, which leads us to resign our own inclinations to those…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-hume/among-the-arts-of-conversation-no-one-pleases-more-than-mutual/) [David Hume](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-hume/) > [Her companion's discourse now sunk from its hitherto animated pitch, to nothing more than a short, decisive sentence of praise or condemnation on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/her-companion-s-discourse-now-sunk-from-its-hitherto-animated-pitch/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“Politeness is the first thing people lose once they get the power.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amit-kalantri/politeness-is-the-first-thing-people-lose-once-they-get-the-power/) [Amit Kalantri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amit-kalantri/) > [I am not here to pass civilities or compliments with you, but on other business. 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Prominent among them are probity, industry, good sense, good habits, good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chester-a-arthur/there-are-very-many-characteristics-which-go-into-making-a-model/) [Chester A. Arthur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chester-a-arthur/) > [The bonds between ourselves and another person exists only in our minds. Memory as it grows fainter loosens them, and notwithstanding the illusion by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/the-bonds-between-ourselves-and-another-person-exists-only-in-our/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [It was before Vatican II and the liberalization of church doctrine. You weren't meant to eat meat on Friday in deference to Christ, who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-durang/it-was-before-vatican-ii-and-the-liberalization-of-church-doctrine/) [Christopher Durang](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-durang/) > [It is important that Miers not be confirmed unless, in her 61st year, she suddenly and unexpectedly is found to have hitherto undisclosed interests…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-will/it-is-important-that-miers-not-be-confirmed-unless-in-her-61st-year/) [George Will](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-will/) ## More by Mason Cooley > [Nostalgia keeps dissolving the ironic narratives in which I have contained my past.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/nostalgia-keeps-dissolving-the-ironic-narratives-in-which-i-have/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [The modernist writers found despair inspirational.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/the-modernist-writers-found-despair-inspirational/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [Even the most abject have a sense of superiority based on powerful though undefined merits.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/even-the-most-abject-have-a-sense-of-superiority-based-on-powerful/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [Money comes to life as it is spent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/money-comes-to-life-as-it-is-spent/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [Even the most fickle are faithful to a few bad habits.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/even-the-most-fickle-are-faithful-to-a-few-bad-habits/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [Rage is exciting, but leaves me confused and exhausted.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/rage-is-exciting-but-leaves-me-confused-and-exhausted/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [Literary tradition is full of lies about poverty-the jolly beggar, the poor but happy milkmaid, the wholesome diet of porridge, etc.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/literary-tradition-is-full-of-lies-about-poverty-the-jolly-beggar-the/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [Experience teaches us, but we scarcely know what.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/experience-teaches-us-but-we-scarcely-know-what/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [The body has a mind of its own.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/the-body-has-a-mind-of-its-own/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. 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Thus I feel both self-indulgent and deprived.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/my-intentions-go-one-way-my-desires-another-thus-i-feel-both-self/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [The Puritan sours his pleasures by disguising them as duties.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/the-puritan-sours-his-pleasures-by-disguising-them-as-duties/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [Unlike the actual, the fictional explains itself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/unlike-the-actual-the-fictional-explains-itself/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [Vacations prove that a life of pleasure is overrated.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/vacations-prove-that-a-life-of-pleasure-is-overrated/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [Outside literature, high-flown sentiments are merely exasperating.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/outside-literature-high-flown-sentiments-are-merely-exasperating/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) [Explore all 1,401 Mason Cooley quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) ## More Civility quotes > [There is nothing that we can properly call our own but our time, and yet everybody fools us out of it who has a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seneca-the-younger/there-is-nothing-that-we-can-properly-call-our-own-but-our-time-and/) [Seneca the Younger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seneca-the-younger/) > [Most adults would not dream of belittling, humiliating, or bullying (verbally or physically) another adult. 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Not only could you no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-judt/the-second-world-war-had-a-precipitating-effect-in-that-it/) [Tony Judt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-judt/) > [How much wit, good-nature, indulgences, how many good offices and civilities, are required among friends to accomplish in some years what a lovely face…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-de-la-bruyere/how-much-wit-good-nature-indulgences-how-many-good-offices-and/) [Jean de la Bruyere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-de-la-bruyere/) > [They parted at last with mutual civility, and possibly a mutual desire of never meeting again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/they-parted-at-last-with-mutual-civility-and-possibly-a-mutual-desire/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“When someone has wronged you, continue to treat them with civility. It’s the ultimate mark of a mensch.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruna-martinuzzi/when-someone-has-wronged-you-continue-to-treat-them-with-civility-it/) [Bruna Martinuzzi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruna-martinuzzi/) > [“Elizabeth received them with all the forbearance of civility”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/elizabeth-received-them-with-all-the-forbearance-of-civility/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“Never in England were there so many gentlemen and so little gentleness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-j-sansom/never-in-england-were-there-so-many-gentlemen-and-so-little-gentleness/) [C.J. Sansom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-j-sansom/) > [The insolent civility of a proud man is, if possible, more shocking than his rudeness could be; because he shows you, by his manner,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lord-chesterfield/the-insolent-civility-of-a-proud-man-is-if-possible-more-shocking/) [Lord Chesterfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lord-chesterfield/) > [A good word is an easy obligation; but not to speak ill requires only our silence, which costs us nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-tillotson/a-good-word-is-an-easy-obligation-but-not-to-speak-ill-requires-only/) [John Tillotson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-tillotson/) > ['Playboy' operated with a patina of civility that granted the average man a presumption of pleasure that went one way - his. 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