--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If only I could cry. I am beyond that…" description: "\"“If only I could cry. I am beyond that. The light, the light, lending itself to empty downtown Saturday, but still the stupid insensate cars flush by o..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d7c/maryse-holder-55341_edward-hopper_if-only-i-could-cry-i-am-beyond-that-the_1489055.jpg" --- # If only I could cry. I am beyond that. The light, the… ![“If only I could cry. I am beyond that. The light, the light, lending itself to empty downtown Saturday, but still the stupid insensate cars flush by oblivious to their stupidity, my silent plea. It isn't Mexico. It's not Paris. It's a painting by Hopper come to life. I am trapped inside a dead…” quote by Maryse Holder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d7c/maryse-holder-55341_edward-hopper_if-only-i-could-cry-i-am-beyond-that-the_1489055.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d7c/maryse-holder-55341_edward-hopper_if-only-i-could-cry-i-am-beyond-that-the_1489055.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d7c/maryse-holder-55341_edward-hopper_if-only-i-could-cry-i-am-beyond-that-the_1489055.jpg) > ““If only I could cry. I am beyond that. The light, the light, lending itself to empty downtown Saturday, but still the stupid insensate cars flush by oblivious to their stupidity, my silent plea. It isn't Mexico. It's not Paris. It's a painting by Hopper come to life. I am trapped inside a dead thing. Language is impossible here, even in English. Who has the arrogance to say: I'm mad, this is my crazy view of things, help me. I'm trapped in a silent world, a tableau of forty years ago. The walls are different, the tables, the heights of the veiling and the chairs. I loom above this letter. The view past the rows of cakes in the plate glass window is unfamiliar. I am a ghost. There is nothing now between me and death. Death is the unfamiliarity of everything, the strangeness of the once familiar. The same spatial configurations only the light is hollow, sick. I think I lack the energy to hit expensive discos which I don't know where they are to be rejected tonight. I look passable. My energy's low. I love to dance but despair is not a good muse. This Mexico, babe. Men who don't love you but act wildly as if they do initially. Self-involved, narcissistic men... The men drink and philosophize about pain. The women live it solo and culturelessly. No one cries, except easily, sentimentally. The devil, therefore God, exists. Oaxaca was a pushover compared to this. Pain had boundaries there. Spare us big cities, oh lord!”” [Maryse Holder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maryse-holder/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker feels trapped in a hollow, alienating urban landscape, yearning for authentic connection while confronting existential emptiness and societal decay. **In simple terms:** Feeling isolated in a cold city, longing for meaning. Key Takeaway Seek genuine connection despite alienation. Themes alienation existentialism urban decay loneliness despair Mood melancholic reflective despairing Type literary philosophical personal When to use this quote - nightlife - artistic expression - personal reflection - urban exploration - relationship dynamics Key Concepts existential dread urban alienation social critique Questions to Reflect On - How can one find purpose in an indifferent environment? - What steps can break the cycle of despair? A Different Perspective The vivid imagery may romanticize suffering, overlooking practical solutions. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Dance Despair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dance-despair-5441098/) [Despair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/despair/) [Despair Good](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/despair-good-649722/) [God exists](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/god-exists/) [Life Trapped](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life-trapped-1251623/) [Mexico](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mexico/) [Oaxaca](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/oaxaca-134404/) [Oh lord](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/oh-lord/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Philosophize Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/philosophize-pain-5441099/) [Years ago](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years-ago/) ## Related quotes > [“Meli ya kwanza kuondoka katika Bandari ya Salina Cruz kusini mwa Meksiko katika Bahari ya Pasifiki ni 'La Diosa de los Mares', 'Mungu wa…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/enock-maregesi/meli-ya-kwanza-kuondoka-katika-bandari-ya-salina-cruz-kusini-mwa/) [Enock Maregesi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/enock-maregesi/) > [There's something magical about Oaxaca and the vibe of the people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-white/there-s-something-magical-about-oaxaca-and-the-vibe-of-the-people/) [Mike White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-white/) > [Any of us who work on the task of solving the climate crisis have at times an internal struggle between hope and despair. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-gore/any-of-us-who-work-on-the-task-of-solving-the-climate-crisis-have-at/) [Al Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-gore/) > [Despair is good. Despair can be the nadir of one life and the starting point of an ascent into another, better one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/despair-is-good-despair-can-be-the-nadir-of-one-life-and-the-starting/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) > [I often hear people say that they read to escape reality, but I believe that what they’re really doing is reading to find reason…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-goodkind/i-often-hear-people-say-that-they-read-to-escape-reality-but-i/) [Terry Goodkind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-goodkind/) > [“Life has me trapped in a cocoon of earth where I must grow and change until the day I sprout wings. And on that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-e-goodrich/life-has-me-trapped-in-a-cocoon-of-earth-where-i-must-grow-and-change/) [Richelle E. Goodrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-e-goodrich/) > [Our aim in life should all be the same...never become trapped in yesterday's lullaby!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ayjee-grogan/our-aim-in-life-should-all-be-the-same-never-become-trapped-in/) [Ayjee Grogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ayjee-grogan/) > [“You live your entire life trapped in a sack of meat, unable to enjoy simple pleasures”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-riordan/you-live-your-entire-life-trapped-in-a-sack-of-meat-unable-to-enjoy/) [Rick Riordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-riordan/) > [You spend your whole life trapped inside your body. Everything you know about the world comes to you through your body.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-henson/you-spend-your-whole-life-trapped-inside-your-body-everything-you/) [Bill Henson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-henson/) > [“Survival here means simply an incomplete death, not a partial life -- to be trapped in a gap between the living and the dead.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-pearl/survival-here-means-simply-an-incomplete-death-not-a-partial-life-to/) [Matthew Pearl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-pearl/) > [The story of a mother's life: Trapped between a scream and a hug.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cathy-guisewite/the-story-of-a-mother-s-life-trapped-between-a-scream-and-a-hug/) [Cathy Guisewite](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cathy-guisewite/) > [“One is forced to examine one's life when trapped in the wall by a Murphy bed.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-mckay/one-is-forced-to-examine-one-s-life-when-trapped-in-the-wall-by-a/) [Cheryl McKay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-mckay/) > [It's like every day is the worst day of your life. And you're trapped and you're scared and you have to portray those emotions…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-lopez/it-s-like-every-day-is-the-worst-day-of-your-life-and-you-re-trapped/) [Jennifer Lopez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-lopez/) > [If I could go back, oh, Lord knows I'd run.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-jones/if-i-could-go-back-oh-lord-knows-i-d-run/) [George Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-jones/) > [When I talked to him earlier, he said he had to work tonight,” Peter explained, “but that we should go ahead and draw for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-mead/when-i-talked-to-him-earlier-he-said-he-had-to-work-tonight-peter/) [Richelle Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-mead/) ## More by Maryse Holder > [“Writing to you is like some embarrassing remake of Waiting For Godot. Why don't you jerk off on paper in my direction, as I've…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maryse-holder/writing-to-you-is-like-some-embarrassing-remake-of-waiting-for-godot/) [Maryse Holder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maryse-holder/) > [“As soon as whatever provisional well of confidence dries up, I will feel like a frightened motherless child. And I will—what? Lessee, I'll beg…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maryse-holder/as-soon-as-whatever-provisional-well-of-confidence-dries-up-i-will/) [Maryse Holder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maryse-holder/) > [“All I want is some man to take delight in me. 5:30? 6:30 A.M. as usual, no cigs. Better a maudlin drunk than a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maryse-holder/all-i-want-is-some-man-to-take-delight-in-me-5-30-6-30-a-m-as-usual/) [Maryse Holder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maryse-holder/) > [“That was the next-to-last time I felt any desire. And he was pale and tall (how disgusting tall men are, such a waste of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maryse-holder/that-was-the-next-to-last-time-i-felt-any-desire-and-he-was-pale-and/) [Maryse Holder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maryse-holder/) > [“I'm sorry. This is diary, not enlightenment.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maryse-holder/i-m-sorry-this-is-diary-not-enlightenment/) [Maryse Holder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maryse-holder/) [Explore all 6 Maryse Holder quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maryse-holder/) ## More Despair quotes > [“As ofttimes as it rains on my little spot of earth, you'd think I'd grow accustomed to the gloom.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-e-goodrich/as-ofttimes-as-it-rains-on-my-little-spot-of-earth-you-d-think-i-d/) [Richelle E. Goodrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-e-goodrich/) > [“She searched her mind for a single day when it had felt good to be alive. There must have been one, surely?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-abbott/she-searched-her-mind-for-a-single-day-when-it-had-felt-good-to-be/) [Rachel Abbott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-abbott/) > [“Men circle like bees around honey, buzzing to communicate their sexual despair.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carla-h-krueger/men-circle-like-bees-around-honey-buzzing-to-communicate-their-sexual/) [Carla H Krueger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carla-h-krueger/) > [I think what was special about 'Music by Prudence' was the classic story of the title subject's life path - from being an outcast…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-ross-williams/i-think-what-was-special-about-music-by-prudence-was-the-classic/) [Roger Ross Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-ross-williams/) > [Your spirit is the part of you that seeks meaning and purpose. It's the part drawn to hope, that will not give in to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caroline-myss/your-spirit-is-the-part-of-you-that-seeks-meaning-and-purpose-it-s/) [Caroline Myss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caroline-myss/) > [My God, whose son, as on this night, took on Him the form of man, and for man vouchsafed to suffer and bleed, controls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/my-god-whose-son-as-on-this-night-took-on-him-the-form-of-man-and-for/) [Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [The modernist writers found despair inspirational.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/the-modernist-writers-found-despair-inspirational/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [The skin and shell of things Though fair are not Thy wish nor prayer but got My meer despair of wings.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-vaughan/the-skin-and-shell-of-things-though-fair-are-not-thy-wish-nor-prayer/) [Henry Vaughan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-vaughan/) > [“A fine setting for a fit of despair,” it occurred to him, “if I were only standing here by accident instead of design.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/franz-kafka/a-fine-setting-for-a-fit-of-despair-it-occurred-to-him-if-i-were-only/) [Franz Kafka](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/franz-kafka/) > [Enough for this bow & arrow. It caused me nothing but sorrow. No need for another tomorrow. In your heart, I will never be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louaiq8/enough-for-this-bow-arrow-it-caused-me-nothing-but-sorrow-no-need-for/) [Louaiq8](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louaiq8/) > [True repentance never leads to despair. Its leads home. It leads to grace.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-ortberg/true-repentance-never-leads-to-despair-its-leads-home-it-leads-to/) [John Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-ortberg/) > [Do not consider despair as a thick and high wall standing on your way; it is just a darkness and you can still walk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/do-not-consider-despair-as-a-thick-and-high-wall-standing-on-your-way/) [Mehmet Murat ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [Despair is the price one pays for setting oneself an impossible aim. It is, one is told, the unforgivable sin, but it is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/despair-is-the-price-one-pays-for-setting-oneself-an-impossible-aim/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [A speculative despair is unpardonable where it our duty to act.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edmund-burke/a-speculative-despair-is-unpardonable-where-it-our-duty-to-act/) [Edmund Burke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edmund-burke/) > [I have noticed that there is no dissatisfaction like that of the rich. Feed a man, clothe him, put him in a good house,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-steinbeck/i-have-noticed-that-there-is-no-dissatisfaction-like-that-of-the-rich/) [John Steinbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-steinbeck/) [Browse all 3,181 Despair quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/despair/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“If only I could cry. I am beyond that. The light, the light, lending itself to empty downtown Saturday, but still the stupid insensate cars flush by oblivious to their stupidity, my silent plea. It isn't Mexico. It's not Paris. It's a painting by Hopper come to life. I am trapped inside a dead thing. Language is impossible here, even in English. Who has the arrogance to say: I'm mad, this is my crazy view of things, help me. I'm trapped in a silent world, a tableau of forty years ago. The walls are different, the tables, the heights of the veiling and the chairs. I loom above this letter. The view past the rows of cakes in the plate glass window is unfamiliar. I am a ghost. There is nothing now between me and death. Death is the unfamiliarity of everything, the strangeness of the once familiar. The same spatial configurations only the light is hollow, sick. I think I lack the energy to hit expensive discos which I don't know where they are to be rejected tonight. I look passable. My energy's low. 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