--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: There, just beyond his open palm, was our…" description: "\"“There, just beyond his open palm, was our mother’s face. I wasn’t expecting it. We hadn’t requested a viewing, and the memorial service was closed-cof..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d8f/mary-roach-635_coffin_there-just-beyond-his-open-palm-was-our_866376.jpg" --- # There, just beyond his open palm, was our mother’s face. I… ![“There, just beyond his open palm, was our mother’s face. I wasn’t expecting it. We hadn’t requested a viewing, and the memorial service was closed-coffin. We got it anyway. They’d shampooed and waved her hair and made up her face. They’d done a great job, but I felt taken, as if we’d asked for the…” quote by Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d8f/mary-roach-635_coffin_there-just-beyond-his-open-palm-was-our_866376.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d8f/mary-roach-635_coffin_there-just-beyond-his-open-palm-was-our_866376.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d8f/mary-roach-635_coffin_there-just-beyond-his-open-palm-was-our_866376.jpg) > ““There, just beyond his open palm, was our mother’s face. I wasn’t expecting it. We hadn’t requested a viewing, and the memorial service was closed-coffin. We got it anyway. They’d shampooed and waved her hair and made up her face. They’d done a great job, but I felt taken, as if we’d asked for the basic carwash and they’d gone ahead and detailed her. Hey, I wanted to say, we didn’t order this. But of course I said nothing. Death makes us helplessly polite.”” [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator describes a funeral service that feels overly polished, highlighting the tension between grief and social politeness. **In simple terms:** Politeness can mask true feelings about death. Key Takeaway Recognize and express genuine grief. Themes grief politeness death rituals Mood somber thoughtful Type reflective cultural When to use this quote - funeral planning - supporting mourners Key Concepts sociology psychology thanality Questions to Reflect On - How can we balance respect with honest expression at funerals? - What rituals help process grief authentically? A Different Perspective Social expectations may suppress authentic emotions. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Humor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/) [Memorial service](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/memorial-service/) [Mother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mother/) [Science](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/science/) ## Related quotes > [“There wasn't an anhydrous lacrimal gland in the house, writes the author in all seriousness describing a memorial service for a medical school's cadavers.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/there-wasn-t-an-anhydrous-lacrimal-gland-in-the-house-writes-the/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [“I know so little, she tells herself again, searching her mother's face. In the end, we know so little. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-richler/i-know-so-little-she-tells-herself-again-searching-her-mother-s-face/) [Emma Richler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-richler/) > [“HOLY MOTHER. WAS THAT A FACE?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megan-mccafferty/holy-mother-was-that-a-face/) [Megan McCafferty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megan-mccafferty/) > [Art is the child of Nature; yes, her darling child, in whom we trace the features of the mother's face, her aspect and her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beck/art-is-the-child-of-nature-yes-her-darling-child-in-whom-we-trace-the-2/) [Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beck/) > [“Tillie studied her mother’s face. The face which had seen thirty-seven years of life. Twenty-one years of marriage. The birth of ten babies. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deeanne-gist/tillie-studied-her-mother-s-face-the-face-which-had-seen-thirty-seven/) [Deeanne Gist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deeanne-gist/) > [The precursor of the mirror is the mother's face.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-woods-winnicott/the-precursor-of-the-mirror-is-the-mother-s-face/) [Donald Woods Winnicott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-woods-winnicott/) > [“She cannot remember her mother's face... This is the woman who brought her into the world... This is the woman her father loved. Yet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-haddon/she-cannot-remember-her-mother-s-face-this-is-the-woman-who-brought/) [Mark Haddon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-haddon/) > [“Now all white Southern women keep as a weapon against uncouth world a certain smile that can be whipped out of storage and tacked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joy-jordan-lake/now-all-white-southern-women-keep-as-a-weapon-against-uncouth-world-a/) [Joy Jordan-Lake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joy-jordan-lake/) > [Whenever I close my eyes, I couldn't sleep; I only can sleep when I saw my mother face](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/whenever-i-close-my-eyes-i-couldn-t-sleep-i-only-can-sleep-when-i-saw/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Would you recognize your mother’s face in a thousand faces? Clinton waited for Evie to answer. Of course. Can you describe her face so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-vickers/would-you-recognize-your-mother-s-face-in-a-thousand-faces-clinton/) [Dennis Vickers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-vickers/) > [“I would describe myself like a landscape I’ve studied at length, in detail; like a word I’m coming to understand; like a pitcher I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rainer-maria-rilke/i-would-describe-myself-like-a-landscape-i-ve-studied-at-length-in/) [Rainer Maria Rilke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rainer-maria-rilke/) > [“Bearing my mother's face was a daily reminder that I could be as strong as she had been. And fighting for what I wanted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-plum/bearing-my-mother-s-face-was-a-daily-reminder-that-i-could-be-as/) [Amy Plum](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-plum/) > [“You imagine you can see me, Mother? All you could ever see was your own face in a mirror.” “Who am I, Mother? I’m…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/you-imagine-you-can-see-me-mother-all-you-could-ever-see-was-your-own/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [“I picture my mother’s face when she must go out in public with Owen, the cold arrogant look she wears, as if the whole…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cat-hellisen/i-picture-my-mother-s-face-when-she-must-go-out-in-public-with-owen/) [Cat Hellisen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cat-hellisen/) > [“Sometimes she would whisper the word Mama and see her mother’s face a hundred times in a single afternoon.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/markus-zusak/sometimes-she-would-whisper-the-word-mama-and-see-her-mother-s-face-a/) [Markus Zusak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/markus-zusak/) ## More by Mary Roach > [“Rawson points out that although snakes can’t taste, they have a primitive sense of smell. They’ll extend their tongue to gather volatile molecules and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/rawson-points-out-that-although-snakes-can-t-taste-they-have-a/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [“As the number of Inuit who hunt has dwindled, so has the consumption of organs (and other anatomy not available for purchase at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/as-the-number-of-inuit-who-hunt-has-dwindled-so-has-the-consumption/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [For the most part, if somebody approaches me and says, 'I'd like to interview you,' who am I to say no, when I spend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/for-the-most-part-if-somebody-approaches-me-and-says-i-d-like-to/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [To me, death is dark, pain, grief.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/to-me-death-is-dark-pain-grief/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [“If you look at survivable crashes, it’s rare that even half the emergency exits open,” says Shanahan. “Plus, there’s a lot of panic and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/if-you-look-at-survivable-crashes-it-s-rare-that-even-half-the/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [“…he was doing a breath hydrogen test. If you know the amount of hydrogen someone is exhaling orally, it's a simple matter to extrapolate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/he-was-doing-a-breath-hydrogen-test-if-you-know-the-amount-of/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [“Viagra isn't the only drug being prescribed off-label for women with arousal problems. Los Angeles urologist Jennifer Berman told me some doctors are prescribing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/viagra-isn-t-the-only-drug-being-prescribed-off-label-for-women-with/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [Sharing a room with a cadaver is only mildly different from being in a room alone. They are the same sort of company as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/sharing-a-room-with-a-cadaver-is-only-mildly-different-from-being-in/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [Every now and then, someone will tell me that one of my books has made them laugh out loud. I never believe them because:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/every-now-and-then-someone-will-tell-me-that-one-of-my-books-has-made/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [“panel applicants at the initial screening were asked not only to describe the cat foods but also to rate them according to how much…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/panel-applicants-at-the-initial-screening-were-asked-not-only-to/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [“\* Kissing is a less aggressive form of bacterial transplant. Studies of three different gingivitis-causing bacteria have documented migration from spouse to spouse. Periodontically…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/kissing-is-a-less-aggressive-form-of-bacterial-transplant-studies-of/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [“Nirlungayuk reached a similar conclusion. I tracked him down, seventeen years later, and asked him what the outcome of his country-foods campaign had been.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/nirlungayuk-reached-a-similar-conclusion-i-tracked-him-down-seventeen/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [Astronauts are like these mythic legends, but really, they are just regular people, people who wear chinos.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/astronauts-are-like-these-mythic-legends-but-really-they-are-just/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [“Olive trees grow in the same climate and soil conditions as grapes. The olive oil people have been up in Napa Valley all along,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/olive-trees-grow-in-the-same-climate-and-soil-conditions-as-grapes/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) > [“A patient on the way to surgery travels at twice the speed of a patient on the way to the morgue. Gurneys that ferry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-roach/a-patient-on-the-way-to-surgery-travels-at-twice-the-speed-of-a/) [Mary Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) [Explore all 435 Mary Roach quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-roach/) ## More Coffin quotes > [“I decided to get my butt up out of the coffin, just like Jesus Christ, and come and chitchat with all my beautiful and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heather-o-neill/i-decided-to-get-my-butt-up-out-of-the-coffin-just-like-jesus-christ/) [Heather O'Neill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heather-o-neill/) > [Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/homer-simpson/marriage-is-like-a-coffin-and-each-kid-is-like-another-nail/) [Homer Simpson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/homer-simpson/) > [“Like King, we need to put on our cemetery clothes and be coffin-ready for the next great democratic battle.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cornel-west/like-king-we-need-to-put-on-our-cemetery-clothes-and-be-coffin-ready/) [Cornel West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cornel-west/) > [“Lies made it arduous to find a coffin that fit”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-carl-evans/lies-made-it-arduous-to-find-a-coffin-that-fit/) Richard Carl Evans > [His smile is like the silver plate on a coffin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-philpot-curran/his-smile-is-like-the-silver-plate-on-a-coffin/) [John Philpot Curran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-philpot-curran/) > [At my funeral, if one said, 'Nick was a generous person,' trust me I won't be doing cartwheels in my coffin. Recognition from people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-vujicic/at-my-funeral-if-one-said-nick-was-a-generous-person-trust-me-i-won-t/) [Nick Vujicic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-vujicic/) > [Well, I guess I am about the livest dead man you ever saw; although I was once asked to accept a coffin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-rice/well-i-guess-i-am-about-the-livest-dead-man-you-ever-saw-although-i/) Dan Rice > [She wanted to be buried in a coffin filled with used paperbacks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherman-alexie/she-wanted-to-be-buried-in-a-coffin-filled-with-used-paperbacks/) [Sherman Alexie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherman-alexie/) > [“Death is only attractive in a fashionable dress, with lilies and an open coffin.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-l-sullivan/death-is-only-attractive-in-a-fashionable-dress-with-lilies-and-an/) [Laura L. Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-l-sullivan/) > [“An expensive coffin does not decrease the deceased’s chances of going to hell.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/an-expensive-coffin-does-not-decrease-the-deceased-s-chances-of-going/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) > [I never change, I'm like a corpse in a coffin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-cole/i-never-change-i-m-like-a-corpse-in-a-coffin/) [J Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-cole/) > [“This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in. You are wasting my time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bela-lugosi-ed-wood/this-is-the-most-uncomfortable-coffin-i-ve-ever-been-in-you-are/) Bela Lugosi (Ed Wood > [“It's daylight. Shouldn't you have burned to a crisp, or something? Don't you have to crawl into a coffin? Where do you keep it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-howard/it-s-daylight-shouldn-t-you-have-burned-to-a-crisp-or-something-don-t/) [Linda Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-howard/) > [For me, curiosity is life. If you are not curious, you are in your coffin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pierre-boulez/for-me-curiosity-is-life-if-you-are-not-curious-you-are-in-your-coffin/) [Pierre Boulez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pierre-boulez/) > [“A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one from the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/a-premature-death-does-not-only-rob-one-of-the-countless-instances/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) Browse all 215 Coffin quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“There, just beyond his open palm, was our mother’s face. I wasn’t expecting it. We hadn’t requested a viewing, and the memorial service was closed-coffin. We got it anyway. They’d shampooed and waved her hair and made up her face. They’d done a great job, but I felt taken, as if we’d asked for the basic carwash and they’d gone ahead and detailed her. Hey, I wanted to say, we didn’t order this. But of course I said nothing. 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