--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: That time I thought I could not go any…" description: "\"“That time I thought I could not go any closer to grief without dying I went closer, and I did not die. Surely God had his hand in this, as well as fri..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e8/mary-oliver-570_grief_that-time-i-thought-i-could-not-go-any-c_543445.jpg" --- # That time I thought I could not go any closer to grief… ![“That time I thought I could not go any closer to grief without dying I went closer, and I did not die. Surely God had his hand in this, as well as friends. Still, I was bent, and my laughter, as the poet said, was nowhere to be found. Then said my friend Daniel, (brave even among lions), “It’s not…” quote by Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e8/mary-oliver-570_grief_that-time-i-thought-i-could-not-go-any-c_543445.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e8/mary-oliver-570_grief_that-time-i-thought-i-could-not-go-any-c_543445.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e8/mary-oliver-570_grief_that-time-i-thought-i-could-not-go-any-c_543445.jpg) > ““That time I thought I could not go any closer to grief without dying I went closer, and I did not die. Surely God had his hand in this, as well as friends. Still, I was bent, and my laughter, as the poet said, was nowhere to be found. Then said my friend Daniel, (brave even among lions), “It’s not the weight you carry but how you carry it - books, bricks, grief - it’s all in the way you embrace it, balance it, carry it when you cannot, and would not, put it down.” So I went practicing. Have you noticed? Have you heard the laughter that comes, now and again, out of my startled mouth? How I linger to admire, admire, admire the things of this world that are kind, and maybe also troubled - roses in the wind, the sea geese on the steep waves, a love to which there is no reply?”” [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Facing grief, the speaker learns that burden is managed by attitude, not just weight, finding moments of laughter and appreciation despite sorrow. **In simple terms:** Grief can be carried with the right mindset, allowing joy to reappear. Key Takeaway Adjust perspective to bear hardship. Themes grief resilience joy mindset Mood reflective hopeful melancholic Type poetic philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - personal loss - creative practice - mindful observation - finding humor Key Concepts existentialism psychology spirituality Questions to Reflect On - How does your attitude shape your experience of pain? - What small joys can you seek amid sorrow? A Different Perspective The quote may romanticize coping, overlooking deep trauma that needs professional help. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) [Healing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/healing/) [Joy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/joy/) [Loss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loss/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Poetry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/poetry/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [“That time I thought I could not go any closer to grief without dying I went closer, and I did not die.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/that-time-i-thought-i-could-not-go-any-closer-to-grief-without-dying-2/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [I wondered if all of us churchgoers were just exhausted by grief. For the dying priest and us, I thought, "God" always refused to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-heffernan/i-wondered-if-all-of-us-churchgoers-were-just-exhausted-by-grief-for/) [Virginia Heffernan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-heffernan/) > [And then she moved from shock to grief the way she might enter another room.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anita-shreve/and-then-she-moved-from-shock-to-grief-the-way-she-might-enter/) [Anita Shreve](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anita-shreve/) > [“You taught me that it’s possible to move forward in life, no matter how terrible your grief. And in your own way, you’ve made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-sparks/you-taught-me-that-it-s-possible-to-move-forward-in-life-no-matter/) [Nicholas Sparks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholas-sparks/) > [“crying by this time, but so was I, and I wasn’t ashamed. Grief had a way of sneaking up on a person. It lay…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-barrett/crying-by-this-time-but-so-was-i-and-i-wasn-t-ashamed-grief-had-a-way/) [Linda Barrett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-barrett/) > [“I now know pain is part of any journey- that this is the opposite of grief, but grief the only way I know to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-young/i-now-know-pain-is-part-of-any-journey-that-this-is-the-opposite-of/) [Kevin Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-young/) > [But you can’t get to any of these truths by sitting in a field smiling beatifically, avoiding your anger and damage and grief. Your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/but-you-can-t-get-to-any-of-these-truths-by-sitting-in-a-field/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“There's grief and then there's the loneliness of grief. The way it's just yours and yours alone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deb-caletti/there-s-grief-and-then-there-s-the-loneliness-of-grief-the-way-it-s/) [Deb Caletti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deb-caletti/) > [Everyone deals with grief in their own way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alex-roe/everyone-deals-with-grief-in-their-own-way/) [Alex Roe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alex-roe/) > [“He held onto his grief as a way to hold on to who he was grieving. He felt that his pain was his last…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sean-norris/he-held-onto-his-grief-as-a-way-to-hold-on-to-who-he-was-grieving-he/) [Sean Norris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sean-norris/) > [First of all, a lot of people, a lot of women and men, have lost their children. I'm not the only one. But I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/afeni-shakur/first-of-all-a-lot-of-people-a-lot-of-women-and-men-have-lost-their/) [Afeni Shakur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/afeni-shakur/) > [“I want people who write to crash or dive below the surface, where life is so cold and confusing and hard to see. Your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/i-want-people-who-write-to-crash-or-dive-below-the-surface-where-life/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“With time, grief has a way of slipping down in the crevices of your heart. It never really leaves; it just makes room for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-b-brewer/with-time-grief-has-a-way-of-slipping-down-in-the-crevices-of-your/) [Nancy B. Brewer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-b-brewer/) > [I got into an argument with someone because I said I think 2Pac will be regarded as a great poet. They said he was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-glenn/i-got-into-an-argument-with-someone-because-i-said-i-think-2pac-will/) [Scott Glenn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-glenn/) > [“Persian poet said, the rose blooms reddest where some buried Caesar bled. The”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-w-tuchman/persian-poet-said-the-rose-blooms-reddest-where-some-buried-caesar/) [Barbara W. Tuchman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-w-tuchman/) ## More by Mary Oliver > [Belief isn't always easy. But this much I have learned--- if not enough else--- to live with my eyes open.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/belief-isn-t-always-easy-but-this-much-i-have-learned-if-not-enough/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [In this universe we are given two gifts: the ability to love and the ability to question. Which are, at the same time, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/in-this-universe-we-are-given-two-gifts-the-ability-to-love-and-the/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [Poetry is one of the original arts, and it began, as did all the fine arts, within the original wilderness of the earth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/poetry-is-one-of-the-original-arts-and-it-began-as-did-all-the-fine/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [The dream of my life is to lie down by a slow river and stare at the light in the trees - to learn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/the-dream-of-my-life-is-to-lie-down-by-a-slow-river-and-stare-at-the/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/tell-me-what-is-it-you-plan-to-do-with-your-one-wild-and-precious-life/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [“All important ideas must include the trees, the mountains, and the rivers. • To understand many things you must reach out of your own condition.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/all-important-ideas-must-include-the-trees-the-mountains-and-the/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [“Sometimes I think, were I just a little rougher made, I would go altogether to the woods—to my work entirely, and solitude, a few…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/sometimes-i-think-were-i-just-a-little-rougher-made-i-would-go/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [“First Snow The snow began here this morning and all day continued, its white rhetoric everywhere calling us back to why, how, whence such beauty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/first-snow-the-snow-began-here-this-morning-and-all-day-continued-its/) [mary oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [“What can I say that I have not said before? So I’ll say it again. The leaf has a song in it. Stone is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/what-can-i-say-that-i-have-not-said-before-so-i-ll-say-it-again-the/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [The sea is the most beautiful face in our universe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/the-sea-is-the-most-beautiful-face-in-our-universe/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [There is nothing better than work. Work is also play; children know that. Children play earnestly as if it were work. But people grow…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/there-is-nothing-better-than-work-work-is-also-play-children-know/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [“What will you do with your one precious, wild life?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/what-will-you-do-with-your-one-precious-wild-life/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [“Poetry is a life-cherishing force. For poems are not words, after all, but fires for the cold, ropes let down to the lost, something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/poetry-is-a-life-cherishing-force-for-poems-are-not-words-after-all/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [“I stood like Adam in his lonely garden On that first morning, shaken out of sleep, Rubbing his eyes, listening, parting the leaves, Like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/i-stood-like-adam-in-his-lonely-garden-on-that-first-morning-shaken/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) > [We all have a hungry heart, and one of the things we hunger for is happiness. So as much as I possibly could, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-oliver/we-all-have-a-hungry-heart-and-one-of-the-things-we-hunger-for-is/) [Mary Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) [Explore all 470 Mary Oliver quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-oliver/) ## More Grief quotes > [“...they had lived, they'd lived intensely. But no matter how deeply you live, it comes to this in the end: one of you will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-morton/they-had-lived-they-d-lived-intensely-but-no-matter-how-deeply-you/) [Brian Morton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-morton/) > [“You must understand the pain and grief of losing someone is nothing more than a function of survival.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-cooper/you-must-understand-the-pain-and-grief-of-losing-someone-is-nothing/) [Steven Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-cooper/) > [You felt a deep sorrow, the kind of melancholy you feel when you're in a beautiful place and the sun is going down](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thrity-umrigar/you-felt-a-deep-sorrow-the-kind-of-melancholy-you-feel-when-you-re-in/) [Thrity Umrigar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thrity-umrigar/) > [... how much of our inner substance is it good for us to give to public griefs? The whole modern tendency to agonize over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-bogan/how-much-of-our-inner-substance-is-it-good-for-us-to-give-to-public/) [Louise Bogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-bogan/) > [You dont choose your life; it chooses you. Theres no point asking why life has reserved certain joys or griefs, you just accept them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/you-dont-choose-your-life-it-chooses-you-theres-no-point-asking-why/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [“When we learn to attribute meaning to the events in our lives, we connect with our Higher Purpose, Higher Wisdom, or Source; we become…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-barbara-apollon/when-we-learn-to-attribute-meaning-to-the-events-in-our-lives-we/) [Susan Barbara Apollon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-barbara-apollon/) > [Only to have a grief equal to all these tears!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adrienne-rich/only-to-have-a-grief-equal-to-all-these-tears/) [Adrienne Rich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adrienne-rich/) > [Nowadays most people wear black most of the time anyway: go to a literary party and one would imagine everyone there was in perpetual…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fay-weldon/nowadays-most-people-wear-black-most-of-the-time-anyway-go-to-a/) [Fay Weldon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fay-weldon/) > [Suppressed grief suffocates, it rages within the breast, and is forced to multiply its strength.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ovid/suppressed-grief-suffocates-it-rages-within-the-breast-and-is-forced/) [Ovid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ovid/) > [That Woman is in love with her own grief.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-zevin/that-woman-is-in-love-with-her-own-grief/) [Gabrielle Zevin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-zevin/) > [Short time seems long in sorrow's sharp sustaining.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/short-time-seems-long-in-sorrow-s-sharp-sustaining/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [These days grief seems like walking on a frozen river; most of the time he feels safe enough, but there is always that danger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/these-days-grief-seems-like-walking-on-a-frozen-river-most-of-the/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [“You've been my beacon of light in my storm of grief, and I don't know if I could live without you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-ashley/you-ve-been-my-beacon-of-light-in-my-storm-of-grief-and-i-don-t-know/) [Katie Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-ashley/) > [Ancient eyes had stared at me, filled with ancient grief. And something more. Something so alien and unexpected that I'd almost burst into tears.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-marie-moning/ancient-eyes-had-stared-at-me-filled-with-ancient-grief-and-something/) [Karen Marie Moning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-marie-moning/) > [Meanwhile, the trees were just as green as before; the birds sang and the sun shone as clearly now as ever. The familiar surroundings…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-hardy/meanwhile-the-trees-were-just-as-green-as-before-the-birds-sang-and/) [Thomas Hardy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-hardy/) [Browse all 8,012 Grief quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“That time I thought I could not go any closer to grief without dying I went closer, and I did not die. Surely God had his hand in this, as well as friends. 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