--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Understanding is often a prelude to…" description: "\"Understanding is often a prelude to forgiveness, but they are not the same, and we often forgive what we cannot understand (seeing nothing else to do) ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac5/mary-mccarthy-2691_forgive_understanding-is-often-a-prelude-to-forg_242407.png" --- # Understanding is often a prelude to forgiveness, but they… ![“Understanding is often a prelude to forgiveness, but they are not the same, and we often forgive what we cannot understand (seeing nothing else to do) and understand what we cannot pardon.” quote by Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac5/mary-mccarthy-2691_forgive_understanding-is-often-a-prelude-to-forg_242407.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac5/mary-mccarthy-2691_forgive_understanding-is-often-a-prelude-to-forg_242407.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac5/mary-mccarthy-2691_forgive_understanding-is-often-a-prelude-to-forg_242407.png) > “Understanding is often a prelude to forgiveness, but they are not the same, and we often forgive what we cannot understand (seeing nothing else to do) and understand what we cannot pardon.” [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Understanding and forgiveness are related but distinct; we may forgive without understanding, and understand without being able to forgive. **In simple terms:** Understanding and forgiveness differ; one can occur without the other. Key Takeaway Recognize the gap between empathy and moral action. Themes empathy morality human relations Mood reflective thoughtful Type ethical philosophical When to use this quote - personal conflict - legal judgments - family disputes - cross‑cultural interactions Key Concepts psychology ethical dilemma Questions to Reflect On - Can you forgive without fully grasping the cause? - When does understanding demand forgiveness? A Different Perspective Forgiveness may be hindered by deeper moral convictions despite understanding. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Forgiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiveness/) [Forgiving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiving/) [Learning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/learning/) [Pardon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pardon/) [Political](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/political/) [Understanding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/understanding/) ## Related quotes > [Many are the things that man seeing must understand. Not seeing, how shall he know what lies in the hand of time to come?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophocles/many-are-the-things-that-man-seeing-must-understand-not-seeing-how/) [Sophocles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophocles/) > [I can always forgive where I understand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jude-morgan/i-can-always-forgive-where-i-understand/) [Jude Morgan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jude-morgan/) > [Please, forgive me but we must separate. Maybe now you wont understand but time will pass, your soul will calm down and Im sure…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/please-forgive-me-but-we-must-separate-maybe-now-you-wont-understand/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Life is not to forget but to forgive, not to see but understand, not to hear but to listen, not to let go but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhysheq-shukla/life-is-not-to-forget-but-to-forgive-not-to-see-but-understand-not-to/) [Abhysheq Shukla](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhysheq-shukla/) > [Forgiveness is the most important thing. We all have to forgive what was done to us - the Irish people have to forgive. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sinead-o-connor/forgiveness-is-the-most-important-thing-we-all-have-to-forgive-what/) [Sinead O'Connor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sinead-o-connor/) > [~I'm better off without you. I just wanna be alone tonight. I just wanna take a little breather because lately all we do is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/im-nothing/i-m-better-off-without-you-i-just-wanna-be-alone-tonight-i-just-wanna-2/) Im Nothing > [Before we can forgive one another, we have to understand one another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-goldman/before-we-can-forgive-one-another-we-have-to-understand-one-another/) [Emma Goldman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-goldman/) > [The motto should not be: Forgive one another; rather understand one another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-goldman/the-motto-should-not-be-forgive-one-another-rather-understand-one/) [Emma Goldman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-goldman/) > [We almost always forgive those we understand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mikhail-lermontov/we-almost-always-forgive-those-we-understand/) [Mikhail Lermontov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mikhail-lermontov/) > [“No... no... We never forgive those we can understand... We can only forgive those who wound us for no reason at all...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/no-no-we-never-forgive-those-we-can-understand-we-can-only-forgive/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [To remember the chaos that my mother went through, the abuse, I dont know how she did it. But its amazing how much you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christina-aguilera/to-remember-the-chaos-that-my-mother-went-through-the-abuse-i-dont/) [Christina Aguilera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christina-aguilera/) > [The key to forgiveness is to forgive from the heart, not from the mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheri-rosenthal/the-key-to-forgiveness-is-to-forgive-from-the-heart-not-from-the-mind/) Sheri Rosenthal > [To begin loving people today, we must close the door on the past. And that cannot happen without forgiveness! Forgive those who have hurt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/to-begin-loving-people-today-we-must-close-the-door-on-the-past-and/) [Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/) > [My life is like shattered glass." said the visitor. "My soul is tainted with evil. Is there any hope for me? "Yes," said the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-de-mello/my-life-is-like-shattered-glass-said-the-visitor-my-soul-is-tainted/) [Anthony de Mello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-de-mello/) > [Forgiveness is not something that you do for someone else; it's something you do for yourself, To forgive is not to condone, it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-beaver/forgiveness-is-not-something-that-you-do-for-someone-else-it-s/) [Jim Beaver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-beaver/) ## More by Mary McCarthy > [From what I have seen, I am driven to the conclusion that religion is only good for good people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/from-what-i-have-seen-i-am-driven-to-the-conclusion-that-religion-is/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [In morals as in politics anarchy is not for the weak.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/in-morals-as-in-politics-anarchy-is-not-for-the-weak/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [Yet friendship, I believe, is essential to intellectuals. It is probably the growth hormone the mind requires as it begins its activity of producing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/yet-friendship-i-believe-is-essential-to-intellectuals-it-is-probably/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [Any sizeable Portuguese town looks like a superstitious bride's finery - something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/any-sizeable-portuguese-town-looks-like-a-superstitious-bride-s/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [The desire to believe the best of people is a prerequisite for intercourse with strangers; suspicion is reserved for friends.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/the-desire-to-believe-the-best-of-people-is-a-prerequisite-for/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [ “She considered \[her\] life, which had not been a life but only a sort of greeting, a Hello There.” ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/she-considered-her-life-which-had-not-been-a-life-but-only-a-sort-of/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [America is indeed a revelation, though not quite the one that was planned. Given a clean slate, man, it was hoped, would write the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/america-is-indeed-a-revelation-though-not-quite-the-one-that-was/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [The happy ending is our national belief.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/the-happy-ending-is-our-national-belief/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [Making love, we are all more alike than we are when we are talking or acting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/making-love-we-are-all-more-alike-than-we-are-when-we-are-talking-or/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [... in America ... children are instructed in the virtues of the system they live under, as though history had achieved a happy ending…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/in-america-children-are-instructed-in-the-virtues-of-the-system-they/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [The only form of action open to a child is to break something or strike someone, its mother or another child; it cannot cause…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/the-only-form-of-action-open-to-a-child-is-to-break-something-or/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [Combativeness was, I suppose, the dominant trait in my grandmother's nature. An aggressive churchgoer, she was quite without Christian feeling; the mercy of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/combativeness-was-i-suppose-the-dominant-trait-in-my-grandmother-s/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [I'm afraid I'm not sufficiently inhibited about the things that other women are inhibited about for me. They feel that you've given away trade…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/i-m-afraid-i-m-not-sufficiently-inhibited-about-the-things-that-other/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [Be truthful... and pay attention. I would also recommend the avoidance of credit cards.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/be-truthful-and-pay-attention-i-would-also-recommend-the-avoidance-of/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [All ideas advanced to deal with the Florentine noise problem, the Florentine traffic problem, are Utopian, and nobody believes in them, just as nobody…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/all-ideas-advanced-to-deal-with-the-florentine-noise-problem-the/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) [Explore all 154 Mary McCarthy quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) ## More Forgive quotes > [“So in practicing blanket forgiveness you first assume that in any current condition of pain or discomfort there is some anger involved, even if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/serge-kahili-king/so-in-practicing-blanket-forgiveness-you-first-assume-that-in-any/) Serge Kahili King > [Do what is given to you, and do it well, and you will have done enough...live together in the forgiveness of your sins. Forgive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/do-what-is-given-to-you-and-do-it-well-and-you-will-have-done-enough/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wiggle out of one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-grizzard/the-public-more-often-than-not-will-forgive-mistakes-but-it-will-not/) [Lewis Grizzard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-grizzard/) > [Im so sorry,i screwed up again.i didnt meant hurting you.please,forgive me,again?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/redeyeen/im-so-sorry-i-screwed-up-again-i-didnt-meant-hurting-you-please/) Redeyeen > [“He fell back. He had cried out so loud that even if there had been no breach in the wall, I should have heard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-barbusse/he-fell-back-he-had-cried-out-so-loud-that-even-if-there-had-been-no/) [Henri Barbusse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-barbusse/) > [Forgive us our trespasses," says Margarethe, "and get out of our way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregory-maguire/forgive-us-our-trespasses-says-margarethe-and-get-out-of-our-way/) [Gregory Maguire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregory-maguire/) > [“ving self and others is an every second of every day of every week, of every month, of every year gift that should not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sanjo-jendayi/ving-self-and-others-is-an-every-second-of-every-day-of-every-week-of/) [Sanjo Jendayi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sanjo-jendayi/) > [Ive learned¦ that no matter how good a friend is, theyre going to hurt you every once in a while, and you must forgive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/ive-learned-that-no-matter-how-good-a-friend-is-theyre-going-to-hurt/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Forgive yourself for not being the richest, the thinnest, the tallest, the one with the best hair. Forgive yourself for not being the most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seth-godin/forgive-yourself-for-not-being-the-richest-the-thinnest-the-tallest/) [Seth Godin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seth-godin/) > [If you can't forgive and forget, pick only one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-brault/if-you-can-t-forgive-and-forget-pick-only-one/) [Robert Brault](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-brault/) > [I feel people relate with your entire journey and forgive your mistakes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rahul-vaidya/i-feel-people-relate-with-your-entire-journey-and-forgive-your/) [Rahul Vaidya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rahul-vaidya/) > [More courage is required to forgive than is required to take up arms.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jose-ramos-horta/more-courage-is-required-to-forgive-than-is-required-to-take-up-arms/) [Jose Ramos-Horta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jose-ramos-horta/) > [“The Bible says, “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/the-bible-says-you-must-make-allowance-for-each-other-s-faults-and/) [Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/) > [“By choosing to forgive, you are choosing to love. By choosing to operate in love, you are choosing to operate in an unconditional state…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-watterson/by-choosing-to-forgive-you-are-choosing-to-love-by-choosing-to/) Eric Watterson > [The most important thing about being a father is being able to forgive yourself. If you don't forgive yourself, you're not going to forgive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evander-holyfield/the-most-important-thing-about-being-a-father-is-being-able-to/) [Evander Holyfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evander-holyfield/) Browse all 3,381 Forgive quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Understanding is often a prelude to forgiveness, but they are not the same, and we often forgive what we cannot understand (seeing nothing else to do) and understand what we cannot pardon.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mary McCarthy" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/understanding-is-often-a-prelude-to-forgiveness-but-they-are-not-the/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Forgive" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/understanding-is-often-a-prelude-to-forgiveness-but-they-are-not-the/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac5/mary-mccarthy-2691_forgive_understanding-is-often-a-prelude-to-forg_242407.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac5/mary-mccarthy-2691_forgive_understanding-is-often-a-prelude-to-forg_242407.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac5/mary-mccarthy-2691_forgive_understanding-is-often-a-prelude-to-forg_242407.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Understanding is often a prelude to forgiveness, but they are not the same, and we often forgive what we…” — Mary McCarthy", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Mary McCarthy", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Understanding is often a prelude to...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/understanding-is-often-a-prelude-to-forgiveness-but-they-are-not-the/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/understanding-is-often-a-prelude-to-forgiveness-but-they-are-not-the/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```