--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I shouldn't be doing this, he thought…" description: "\"“I shouldn't be doing this, he thought. She is actually a nice person. for a moment he had an impulse to embrace her. He had a stronger impulse to beat..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4f/mary-gaitskill-7551_embrace_i-shouldn-t-be-doing-this-he-thought-she_3062074.jpg" --- # I shouldn't be doing this, he thought. She is actually a… ![“I shouldn't be doing this, he thought. She is actually a nice person. for a moment he had an impulse to embrace her. He had a stronger impulse to beat her.” quote by Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4f/mary-gaitskill-7551_embrace_i-shouldn-t-be-doing-this-he-thought-she_3062074.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4f/mary-gaitskill-7551_embrace_i-shouldn-t-be-doing-this-he-thought-she_3062074.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4f/mary-gaitskill-7551_embrace_i-shouldn-t-be-doing-this-he-thought-she_3062074.jpg) > ““I shouldn't be doing this, he thought. She is actually a nice person. for a moment he had an impulse to embrace her. He had a stronger impulse to beat her.”” [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A character wrestles with conflicting impulses of affection and aggression toward a woman he perceives as kind. **In simple terms:** He feels both love and violent urges toward a nice woman. Key Takeaway Recognize and confront contradictory feelings. Themes conflict violence affection self‑control Mood tense reflective Type literary psychological When to use this quote - intimate relationships - self‑reflection - therapy - personal growth Key Concepts psychology human nature impulse control Questions to Reflect On - What triggers the violent impulse? - How can empathy outweigh aggression? A Different Perspective Violent impulses can dominate rational compassion. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [“If there's one thing I've learned over the years It's that it only takes one person...one moment to change your life forever. 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Sometimes a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-leo/it-s-almost-weirder-sometimes-when-you-don-t-have-a-full-life/) [Ted Leo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-leo/) > [“The moment you stop trying to become a better person, is the moment you start to become worse than what you already are.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carroll-bryant/the-moment-you-stop-trying-to-become-a-better-person-is-the-moment/) [Carroll Bryant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carroll-bryant/) > [“Because the first time they met... Y-da: "You know, Y-naga-san, the more makeup you put on, the more you look like a guy in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fumi-yoshinaga/because-the-first-time-they-met-y-da-you-know-y-naga-san-the-more/) Fumi Yoshinaga > [“To her the world really wasn’t just black and white, its shades were in varying shades of gray. Circumstance and experience shaped a person…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-m-dabney/to-her-the-world-really-wasn-t-just-black-and-white-its-shades-were/) [J.M. Dabney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-m-dabney/) ## More by Mary Gaitskill > [“I carry love wrapped in pain. That is my treasure and soon it will be yours.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/i-carry-love-wrapped-in-pain-that-is-my-treasure-and-soon-it-will-be/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) > [“God famously doesn't afflict Job because of anything Job has done, but because he wants to prove a point to Satan. Twenty years later,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/god-famously-doesn-t-afflict-job-because-of-anything-job-has-done-but/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) > [When you're writing a story, you're creating something of an artificial ending.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/when-you-re-writing-a-story-you-re-creating-something-of-an/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) > [Partly, I'm worried that no one is saying anything because they are afraid of being seen as politically correct.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/partly-i-m-worried-that-no-one-is-saying-anything-because-they-are/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) > [ “...loading your brain with subliminal messages… How loathsome to turn a sadistic murder into entertainment \[in the newspaper\] -- and yet how hard not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/loading-your-brain-with-subliminal-messages-how-loathsome-to-turn-a/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) > [ “The place Joanne is building inside \[herself\] has rooms for all of this. Not just rooms. Beautiful ones. For Karl and Jerry and Karen… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/the-place-joanne-is-building-inside-herself-has-rooms-for-all-of-this/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) > [“Valiantly, he tried to bring his soul to life in the small thing through which it had to live, and it was crushed, again…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/valiantly-he-tried-to-bring-his-soul-to-life-in-the-small-thing/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) > [The best definition I've heard is that guilt is about what you've done, shame is about who you are. If something's out of my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/the-best-definition-i-ve-heard-is-that-guilt-is-about-what-you-ve/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) > [When my first book came out, it was very disorienting. My health went south. I didn't know how to relate to people. I thought,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/when-my-first-book-came-out-it-was-very-disorienting-my-health-went/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) > [When he held her that way, she felt so happy that it disturbed her. After he left, it would take her hours to fall…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/when-he-held-her-that-way-she-felt-so-happy-that-it-disturbed-her/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) > [“But life can give a lot. If you can’t see inside the heart no matter how you look, then why not look? Why not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/but-life-can-give-a-lot-if-you-can-t-see-inside-the-heart-no-matter/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) > [Sexuality is a place where people are very vulnerable and can be experiencing and embodying very raw forces that they don't really understand and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/sexuality-is-a-place-where-people-are-very-vulnerable-and-can-be/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) > [I focus more on the spiritual or psychic gains.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/i-focus-more-on-the-spiritual-or-psychic-gains/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) > [“When boys get angry with each other, they just fight it out and it's all over. But girls are dirty. They pretend to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/when-boys-get-angry-with-each-other-they-just-fight-it-out-and-it-s/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) > [I think, life is miserable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-gaitskill/i-think-life-is-miserable/) [Mary Gaitskill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) [Explore all 87 Mary Gaitskill quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-gaitskill/) ## More Embrace quotes > [I had to get to the point where I just had to embrace carrying the torch for the traditional girls out there. I love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tamera-mowry/i-had-to-get-to-the-point-where-i-just-had-to-embrace-carrying-the/) [Tamera Mowry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tamera-mowry/) > [I think the next 50 years are going to present the human race with challenges that so far exceed the limitations of geopolitical boundaries…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zachary-quinto/i-think-the-next-50-years-are-going-to-present-the-human-race-with/) [Zachary Quinto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zachary-quinto/) > [Strong brows is what I have, and I embrace them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-connelly/strong-brows-is-what-i-have-and-i-embrace-them/) [Jennifer Connelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-connelly/) > [Stop chasing the things you want and embrace all that you already have.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/stop-chasing-the-things-you-want-and-embrace-all-that-you-already-have/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“A man of power should embrace his Shadow, or if he cannot embrace it, at least accept it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katherine-lampe/a-man-of-power-should-embrace-his-shadow-or-if-he-cannot-embrace-it/) [Katherine Lampe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katherine-lampe/) > [“His hands on my waist he gently pulled me n embrace. I could feel his breath on my face our lips were about to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-eglinger/his-hands-on-my-waist-he-gently-pulled-me-n-embrace-i-could-feel-his/) [Nicole Eglinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-eglinger/) > [All of us take offense to anyone who reaps the rewards of living in America without taking on the responsibilities of living in America.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barack-obama/all-of-us-take-offense-to-anyone-who-reaps-the-rewards-of-living-in/) [Barack Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barack-obama/) > [To re-embrace what I once loved about music has been a warming process for me, because it's a good, earned feeling now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/billy-corgan/to-re-embrace-what-i-once-loved-about-music-has-been-a-warming/) [Billy Corgan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/billy-corgan/) > [I've certainly seen a lot of my cartoonist friends embrace 'Little Lulu' in a much deeper way because their kids love it so much.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seth/i-ve-certainly-seen-a-lot-of-my-cartoonist-friends-embrace-little/) [Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seth/) > [Sometimes, Ms. Lane," he said, "one must break with one's past to embrace one's future. It is never an easy thing to do. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-marie-moning/sometimes-ms-lane-he-said-one-must-break-with-one-s-past-to-embrace/) [Karen Marie Moning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-marie-moning/) > [“Those who embrace prejudice doom themselves to live in ignorance.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-p-lintz-sr/those-who-embrace-prejudice-doom-themselves-to-live-in-ignorance/) John P Lintz Sr > [Life is a climb and it's a struggle getting to the top but the drop to the bottom can be quick and so I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miley-cyrus/life-is-a-climb-and-it-s-a-struggle-getting-to-the-top-but-the-drop/) [Miley Cyrus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miley-cyrus/) > [Everything is a part of what God's up to in your life, so I think our job is to embrace it. Everything. Embrace it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-gaither/everything-is-a-part-of-what-god-s-up-to-in-your-life-so-i-think-our/) [Gloria Gaither](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-gaither/) > [At a time when painting itself often seems to be a threatened, even despised, form of artistic activity, Andrew Salgado emerges as a dazzlingly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-lucie-smith/at-a-time-when-painting-itself-often-seems-to-be-a-threatened-even/) Edward Lucie-Smith > [You want to embrace, but I can't figure out how to hold on to it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-duritz/you-want-to-embrace-but-i-can-t-figure-out-how-to-hold-on-to-it/) [Adam Duritz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-duritz/) Browse all 3,428 Embrace quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I shouldn't be doing this, he thought. She is actually a nice person. for a moment he had an impulse to embrace her. 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