--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: He asked me not to kill myself - asked…" description: "\"“He asked me not to kill myself - asked, not told. His wife had done that, he told me, and it was in a sense the ultimate act of selfishness since it l..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/840/mary-balogh-914_left-behind_he-asked-me-not-to-kill-myself-asked-not_280731.jpg" --- # He asked me not to kill myself - asked, not told. His wife… ![“He asked me not to kill myself - asked, not told. His wife had done that, he told me, and it was in a sense the ultimate act of selfishness since it left behind untold and endless suffering for those who had witnessed it and been unable to do anything to prevent it. And so I remained alive.” quote by Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/840/mary-balogh-914_left-behind_he-asked-me-not-to-kill-myself-asked-not_280731.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/840/mary-balogh-914_left-behind_he-asked-me-not-to-kill-myself-asked-not_280731.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/840/mary-balogh-914_left-behind_he-asked-me-not-to-kill-myself-asked-not_280731.jpg) > ““He asked me not to kill myself - asked, not told. His wife had done that, he told me, and it was in a sense the ultimate act of selfishness since it left behind untold and endless suffering for those who had witnessed it and been unable to do anything to prevent it. And so I remained alive.”” [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A man chooses not to end his life, despite his wife’s suicide, recognizing that his death would cause ongoing suffering for others, emphasizing responsibility toward those left behind. **In simple terms:** Choosing life to avoid hurting others. Key Takeaway Consider the impact of your actions on loved ones. Themes self‑sacrifice responsibility mental health grief ethical dilemma Mood compassionate thoughtful Type ethical emotional When to use this quote - counseling - support groups - crisis intervention - personal decision‑making Key Concepts existentialism psychology family dynamics Questions to Reflect On - What responsibilities do you feel toward others in crisis? - How can you support someone choosing life over death? A Different Perspective May oversimplify complex mental health factors. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Left behind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/left-behind/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Selfishness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/selfishness/) ## Related quotes > [Being sorry is the highest act of selfishness, seeing value only after discarding it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-horton/being-sorry-is-the-highest-act-of-selfishness-seeing-value-only-after/) [Douglas Horton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-horton/) > [Failing to hold someone accountable is ultimately an act of selfishness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-lencioni/failing-to-hold-someone-accountable-is-ultimately-an-act-of/) [Patrick Lencioni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-lencioni/) > [The desire of gratitude for helping others, taints the entire act with selfishness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-jay-taylor/the-desire-of-gratitude-for-helping-others-taints-the-entire-act-with/) [T Jay Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-jay-taylor/) > [Getting enough of what you want without depriving anyone else is the ultimate act of selfishness and sanity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joy-browne/getting-enough-of-what-you-want-without-depriving-anyone-else-is-the/) [Joy Browne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joy-browne/) > [Suicide to them is an act of selfishness. Someone who is truly selfless does not think of himself often enough to desire death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/suicide-to-them-is-an-act-of-selfishness-someone-who-is-truly/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [Deeds that seemed unimportant at the time would prove to have been momentous; a tiny act of selfishness and unkindness or, conversely, an unconsidered…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-armstrong/deeds-that-seemed-unimportant-at-the-time-would-prove-to-have-been/) [Karen Armstrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-armstrong/) > [She had loved him. He knew this; he had never doubted it. But she had also asked him to kill her. If you love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jodi-picoult/she-had-loved-him-he-knew-this-he-had-never-doubted-it-but-she-had/) [Jodi Picoult](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jodi-picoult/) > [“There is an impulse in moments like this to appeal to self-interest. To say: These horrors you are allowing to happen, they will come…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/omar-el-akkad/there-is-an-impulse-in-moments-like-this-to-appeal-to-self-interest/) [Omar El Akkad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/omar-el-akkad/) > [“The Nightlord cannot be controlled, child. He can only be unleashed. And you asked him not to kill.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-k-jemisin/the-nightlord-cannot-be-controlled-child-he-can-only-be-unleashed-and/) [N.K. Jemisin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-k-jemisin/) > [“Why did you come here?' Gretchen asked. 'To kill you,' Archie said. 'How badly do you want it?' 'Pretty badly,' Archie said.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-cain/why-did-you-come-here-gretchen-asked-to-kill-you-archie-said-how/) [Chelsea Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-cain/) > [“How do we get out of this circle?" I asked him. "We kill him," he said. "Good. Let's kill him and go home." "I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/how-do-we-get-out-of-this-circle-i-asked-him-we-kill-him-he-said-good/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [I asked myself if I would kill my parents to save his life, a question I had been posing since I was fifteen. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miranda-july/i-asked-myself-if-i-would-kill-my-parents-to-save-his-life-a-question/) [Miranda July](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miranda-july/) > [“Finally, and definitely the coolest part, is that you get a card from the State Department that gives you diplomatic immunity. I wasn't exactly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-goff/finally-and-definitely-the-coolest-part-is-that-you-get-a-card-from/) [Bob Goff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-goff/) > [I cannot forget a conversation that I had with an elderly couple from the tribe. They asked me whether I would kill them after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roland-joffe/i-cannot-forget-a-conversation-that-i-had-with-an-elderly-couple-from/) [Roland Joffe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roland-joffe/) > [“Move back,” the man on the left ordered Valek. “Or I’ll skewer your friend.” Valek considered the threat. “Do you plan to wound, maim…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-v-snyder/move-back-the-man-on-the-left-ordered-valek-or-i-ll-skewer-your/) [Maria V. Snyder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-v-snyder/) ## More by Mary Balogh > [“Why is it," she asked, snuggling closer, "that I so often imagine myself running away and running free?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/why-is-it-she-asked-snuggling-closer-that-i-so-often-imagine-myself/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [“Ah, but dreams cannot be captured with promises," he said. "Like water, they elude our grasp. But water is the staff of life. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/ah-but-dreams-cannot-be-captured-with-promises-he-said-like-water/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [“What sort of man could you love for a lifetime?" he asked her. She was silent for a while. He guessed that she was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/what-sort-of-man-could-you-love-for-a-lifetime-he-asked-her-she-was/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [“Even at its darkest moment, life was a precious gift.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/even-at-its-darkest-moment-life-was-a-precious-gift/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [“Sometimes children do not realize by how fragile a thread their security hangs. Perhaps it is as well they do not - most of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/sometimes-children-do-not-realize-by-how-fragile-a-thread-their/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [“Would she be able to bear never seeing him again? Never in this life?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/would-she-be-able-to-bear-never-seeing-him-again-never-in-this-life/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [“Sometimes love was to be grasped in any form and in any manner it was offered. And sometimes love must be given in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/sometimes-love-was-to-be-grasped-in-any-form-and-in-any-manner-it-was/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [“When we last out at ourselves for having lost control, we are reminded that we never can be in total control, that all life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/when-we-last-out-at-ourselves-for-having-lost-control-we-are-reminded/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [“Love does not deck the beloved in chains. It just is.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/love-does-not-deck-the-beloved-in-chains-it-just-is/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [“This is your home,’ he said. ‘You are mistress of Finchley Park, Vanessa. You may do whatever you wish.’ Her smile broadened. ‘Within reason,’…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/this-is-your-home-he-said-you-are-mistress-of-finchley-park-vanessa/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [“She bit her lower lip hard and blinked her eyes. There was such wistfulness and longing in his voice. Oh, she was going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/she-bit-her-lower-lip-hard-and-blinked-her-eyes-there-was-such/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [“following spring to find himself a”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/following-spring-to-find-himself-a/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [“But that is what life is all about, he said. "It is about dreaming and making those dreams come true with effort and determination…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/but-that-is-what-life-is-all-about-he-said-it-is-about-dreaming-and/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [“One could not change the past anyway. Why let it blight the present and the future?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/one-could-not-change-the-past-anyway-why-let-it-blight-the-present/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) > [I prefer to believe the opposite - that there is always an indestructible beauty at the heart of darkness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/i-prefer-to-believe-the-opposite-that-there-is-always-an/) [Mary Balogh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) [Explore all 298 Mary Balogh quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/) ## More Left behind quotes > [“His expression is inscrutable. His eyes look strange with their pulsing pupils. “You’re not like other girls. You’re special.” Intoxicating warmth crawls over my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophie-jordan/his-expression-is-inscrutable-his-eyes-look-strange-with-their/) [Sophie Jordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophie-jordan/) > [Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-ogden-stiers/family-means-no-one-gets-left-behind-or-forgotten/) [David Ogden Stiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-ogden-stiers/) > [My sister-in-law works for a group that supports orphanages in Cairo. She and her colleagues take care of children left behind by circumstances beyond…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohamed-elbaradei/my-sister-in-law-works-for-a-group-that-supports-orphanages-in-cairo/) [Mohamed ElBaradei](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohamed-elbaradei/) > [I got my masters in social sciences and education at Stanford, and initially - this is back in 2002 or 2003 when I graduated…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-mendoza/i-got-my-masters-in-social-sciences-and-education-at-stanford-and/) [Jessica Mendoza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-mendoza/) > [An odd thing happens when we die, our senses vanish. Taste, touch, smell and sound become a distant memory, but our sight? Ah, our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desperate-housewives/an-odd-thing-happens-when-we-die-our-senses-vanish-taste-touch-smell/) Desperate Housewives > [“Oh, nothing. Only you really did help them, you know.” “Who?” “All the men who’ve come through this House. You helped them find their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/helene-wecker/oh-nothing-only-you-really-did-help-them-you-know-who-all-the-men-who/) [Helene Wecker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/helene-wecker/) > [“How could anything be the same? The red of blood lay over the market road in slick pools mingled with a yellow spread of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kiran-desai/how-could-anything-be-the-same-the-red-of-blood-lay-over-the-market/) [Kiran Desai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kiran-desai/) > [“I don’t care if you’ve changed. I don’t care who you are now. I don’t need or want your explanations because what you did,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samantha-young/i-don-t-care-if-you-ve-changed-i-don-t-care-who-you-are-now-i-don-t/) [Samantha Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samantha-young/) > [A remembrance can mean nothing to the one remembered; it can only remind the ones left behind how little they did while you were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sandra-bernhard/a-remembrance-can-mean-nothing-to-the-one-remembered-it-can-only/) [Sandra Bernhard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sandra-bernhard/) > [“They travel through the night on the wings of heavenly stallions bringing hope and new faith to those left behind. Even though they are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinley-macgregor/they-travel-through-the-night-on-the-wings-of-heavenly-stallions/) [Kinley MacGregor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinley-macgregor/) > [From every little territory I've been, I've picked something up, things that I could use to better my game, to take with me, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-babel/from-every-little-territory-i-ve-been-i-ve-picked-something-up-things/) [Ryan Babel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-babel/) > [Topping the ball is a problem that usually afflicts only beginning golfers, and it is quickly left behind once a player has learned to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-beard/topping-the-ball-is-a-problem-that-usually-afflicts-only-beginning/) [Henry Beard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-beard/) > [You can always tell where Diana Ross has been by the hair that's left behind!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-ross/you-can-always-tell-where-diana-ross-has-been-by-the-hair-that-s-left/) [Diana Ross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-ross/) > [“...for if our life is vagabond our memory is sedentary and though we ourselves rush ceaselessly forward our recollections, indissolubly bound to the sites…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/for-if-our-life-is-vagabond-our-memory-is-sedentary-and-though-we/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [“So hard to die.' I don't doubt that it is, but it cannot be much harder than being left behind.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/so-hard-to-die-i-don-t-doubt-that-it-is-but-it-cannot-be-much-harder/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) [Browse all 1,519 Left behind quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/left-behind/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“He asked me not to kill myself - asked, not told. His wife had done that, he told me, and it was in a sense the ultimate act of selfishness since it left behind untold and endless suffering for those who had witnessed it and been unable to do anything to prevent it. And so I remained alive.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mary Balogh" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/he-asked-me-not-to-kill-myself-asked-not-told-his-wife-had-done-that/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Left behind" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/he-asked-me-not-to-kill-myself-asked-not-told-his-wife-had-done-that/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/840/mary-balogh-914_left-behind_he-asked-me-not-to-kill-myself-asked-not_280731.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/840/mary-balogh-914_left-behind_he-asked-me-not-to-kill-myself-asked-not_280731.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/840/mary-balogh-914_left-behind_he-asked-me-not-to-kill-myself-asked-not_280731.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“He asked me not to kill myself - asked, not told. His wife had done that, he told me, and it was in a sense…” — Mary Balogh", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Mary Balogh", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-balogh/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“He asked me not to kill...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/he-asked-me-not-to-kill-myself-asked-not-told-his-wife-had-done-that/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-balogh/he-asked-me-not-to-kill-myself-asked-not-told-his-wife-had-done-that/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```