--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: not so heartbreaking. So it was with me…" description: "\"“not so heartbreaking. So it was with me after Tom’s death. In retrospect, I look at myself and my friends and I think that some of us are offered earl..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e94/mary-alice-monroe-17431_death_not-so-heartbreaking-so-it-was-with-me-a_495640.jpg" --- # not so heartbreaking. So it was with me after Tom’s death… ![“not so heartbreaking. So it was with me after Tom’s death. In retrospect, I look at myself and my friends and I think that some of us are offered early warnings. The death of a loved one, a serious illness, the struggle of a marriage, or the despair of loneliness—as tragic as these events are…” quote by Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e94/mary-alice-monroe-17431_death_not-so-heartbreaking-so-it-was-with-me-a_495640.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e94/mary-alice-monroe-17431_death_not-so-heartbreaking-so-it-was-with-me-a_495640.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e94/mary-alice-monroe-17431_death_not-so-heartbreaking-so-it-was-with-me-a_495640.jpg) > ““not so heartbreaking. So it was with me after Tom’s death. In retrospect, I look at myself and my friends and I think that some of us are offered early warnings. The death of a loved one, a serious illness, the struggle of a marriage, or the despair of loneliness—as tragic as these events are, they serve to box us in as clearly as any clever plot structure, forcing us to make a choice. I choose to live. Each day to the hilt. I want to hug my children close, kiss my lover passionately, attack my work, relish my books, and laugh heartily or blubber like a baby with my friends. Isn’t life grand?”” [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. After loss, the narrator decides to embrace life fully, seeking deep connections and joy despite pain. **In simple terms:** Choose to live fully after tragedy. Key Takeaway Live fully each day. Themes resilience joy relationships Mood hopeful reflective Type inspirational philosophical When to use this quote - grief - family - career - friendship Key Concepts Existentialism mindfulness Questions to Reflect On - How do you honor loss while embracing joy? - What daily practices foster wholehearted living? A Different Perspective Choosing joy may overlook lingering grief. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [Live each day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/live-each-day/) [Serious illness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/serious-illness/) ## Related quotes > [“Yes, I lay in my grave. 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Because no one ever loves you again like that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-ueland/the-death-of-any-loved-parent-is-an-incalculable-lasting-blow-because/) [Brenda Ueland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-ueland/) > [I’ve lost someone, too. And there were no rules for how to deal with the death of someone you loved. You had to accept…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-kleypas/i-ve-lost-someone-too-and-there-were-no-rules-for-how-to-deal-with/) [Lisa Kleypas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-kleypas/) > [“The death of loved ones often awakens the death inside of us.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sandra-chami-kassis/the-death-of-loved-ones-often-awakens-the-death-inside-of-us/) [Sandra Chami Kassis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sandra-chami-kassis/) > [ \[after the death of a loved one\] It is when there is nothing more to be done that the reality of the loss often… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-martin/after-the-death-of-a-loved-one-it-is-when-there-is-nothing-more-to-be/) [Judith Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-martin/) > [It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. 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She”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/the-death-of-a-loved-one-may-be-many-things-but-work-is-certainly-one/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) > [“Surviving the death of a loved one...one day at a time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sandra-toscano-huerta/surviving-the-death-of-a-loved-one-one-day-at-a-time/) Sandra Toscano Huerta > [We will continue to do all we can to protect the public health against these dietary supplements that have been found to cause serious…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-von-eschenbach/we-will-continue-to-do-all-we-can-to-protect-the-public-health/) Andrew von Eschenbach > [When you have a diagnosis of cancer, or any serious illness, your choices are basically to be passive and kind of accept whatever is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hamilton-jordan/when-you-have-a-diagnosis-of-cancer-or-any-serious-illness-your/) [Hamilton Jordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hamilton-jordan/) > [I've seen people recover physical abilities, yet never get over emotional trauma after a serious accident. I've seen other people overcome the psychological and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-stovall/i-ve-seen-people-recover-physical-abilities-yet-never-get-over/) [Jim Stovall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-stovall/) > [“8. Chapter 4 describes the birth of the assisted-living facility concept (Park Place), designed by Keren Wilson to provide her disabled mother, Jessie, with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/atul-gawande/8-chapter-4-describes-the-birth-of-the-assisted-living-facility/) [Atul Gawande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/atul-gawande/) ## More by Mary Alice Monroe > [“Oh, if only I were young again, I would travel! There's so much of the world I would like to have seen. But I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/oh-if-only-i-were-young-again-i-would-travel-there-s-so-much-of-the/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) > [“All stories come to an end. That moment when we sigh and close the book, perhaps sit back in our chair and rest our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/all-stories-come-to-an-end-that-moment-when-we-sigh-and-close-the/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) > [“A woman’s life has so many demands because she is the axis around which so many little planets spin.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/a-woman-s-life-has-so-many-demands-because-she-is-the-axis-around/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) > [“Dawn tore at the seam of night, pulling the blackness back a little farther with each passing minute.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/dawn-tore-at-the-seam-of-night-pulling-the-blackness-back-a-little/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) > [“Rather than feel small, however, in this arena she felt part of something much bigger than herself. This gave her both a sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/rather-than-feel-small-however-in-this-arena-she-felt-part-of/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) > [“Age is real life is short. It's foolhardy to deny it. We grow up, our bodies grow frail, death is coming. There's so much…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/age-is-real-life-is-short-it-s-foolhardy-to-deny-it-we-grow-up-our/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) > [“Luz felt as though all the millions of butterflies that were flying on this same journey south were fluttering in her stomach.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/luz-felt-as-though-all-the-millions-of-butterflies-that-were-flying/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) > [To me, the glass is half-empty some days and half-full on others. Sometimes it's bone-dry. Or overflowing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/to-me-the-glass-is-half-empty-some-days-and-half-full-on-others/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) > [Privacy is something that we maintain for the good of ourselves and others. Secrecy we keep to separate ourselves from others, even those we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/privacy-is-something-that-we-maintain-for-the-good-of-ourselves-and/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) > [“And quickly. If you let it, grief could swallow you whole.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/and-quickly-if-you-let-it-grief-could-swallow-you-whole/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) > [“The secret to happiness is to embrace the humility to accept what comes and the courage to continue on your life's path with an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/the-secret-to-happiness-is-to-embrace-the-humility-to-accept-what/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) > [“Sometimes she's so stuck up she'd drown in a rainstorm.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/sometimes-she-s-so-stuck-up-she-d-drown-in-a-rainstorm/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) > [“she’d neglected to make choices for her inner self as well. She’d given away too much.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/she-d-neglected-to-make-choices-for-her-inner-self-as-well-she-d/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) > [“See how people smile when they see a butterfly? They can't help themselves. Butterflies are joy with wings.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/see-how-people-smile-when-they-see-a-butterfly-they-can-t-help/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) > [I always begin with a source of inspiration that comes from nature. The story comes from my research, volunteering, and meeting the people involved…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-alice-monroe/i-always-begin-with-a-source-of-inspiration-that-comes-from-nature/) [Mary Alice Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) [Explore all 37 Mary Alice Monroe quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-alice-monroe/) ## More Death quotes > [“He wondered how it was fair that your dying should depend so much on when you were born.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-albom/he-wondered-how-it-was-fair-that-your-dying-should-depend-so-much-on/) [Mitch Albom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-albom/) > [What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions. Life is plurality, death is uniformity. By suppressing differences and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/octavio-paz/what-sets-worlds-in-motion-is-the-interplay-of-differences-their/) [Octavio Paz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/octavio-paz/) > [Most of us are convinced that we are our egos, which is who we think we are. The ego is part of our incarnation.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ram-dass/most-of-us-are-convinced-that-we-are-our-egos-which-is-who-we-think/) [Ram Dass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ram-dass/) > [I do not want to live at the cost of the life even of a snake. I should let him bite me to death…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahatma-gandhi/i-do-not-want-to-live-at-the-cost-of-the-life-even-of-a-snake-i/) [Mahatma Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahatma-gandhi/) > [“It was beautiful. 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Then his eyes turned to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-anthony-torino/what-did-you-see-she-asked-gently-his-brow-furrowed-as-if-he-could/) J. Anthony Torino > [Those whose life is long still strive for gain, and for all mortals all things take second place to money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophocles/those-whose-life-is-long-still-strive-for-gain-and-for-all-mortals/) [Sophocles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophocles/) > [“I practice Dying--every night-- But have not learned to, still-- Though Talented--by Mortal bones-- For such a common Skill.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-w-powers/i-practice-dying-every-night-but-have-not-learned-to-still-though/) Alan W. Powers > [“You must understand the pain and grief of losing someone is nothing more than a function of survival.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-cooper/you-must-understand-the-pain-and-grief-of-losing-someone-is-nothing/) [Steven Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-cooper/) > [I am not a depressive person at all, but I reflect a lot on my life, and life in general, from the perspective of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/i-am-not-a-depressive-person-at-all-but-i-reflect-a-lot-on-my-life/) [Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/) > [“Death is a reality that calls the rest of life and all of our assorted strivings into sharp relief.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/death-is-a-reality-that-calls-the-rest-of-life-and-all-of-our/) [Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/) > [I love life. I love life to death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emmanuelle-riva/i-love-life-i-love-life-to-death/) [Emmanuelle Riva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emmanuelle-riva/) > [I think when you’re dying you start looking for important things in the corners. You can’t let anything that seems even semi-important pass, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-crutcher/i-think-when-you-re-dying-you-start-looking-for-important-things-in/) [Chris Crutcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-crutcher/) [Browse all 39,127 Death quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“not so heartbreaking. So it was with me after Tom’s death. In retrospect, I look at myself and my friends and I think that some of us are offered early warnings. 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