--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: One night my son was downstairs studying…" description: "\"One night my son was downstairs studying, and he had been up so late all that week, and my husband said, \"I feel so sorry for him.\" I said, \"Look, if h..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32d/marva-collins-12407_children_one-night-my-son-was-downstairs-studying_2027143.jpg" --- # One night my son was downstairs studying, and he had been… ![“One night my son was downstairs studying, and he had been up so late all that week, and my husband said, "I feel so sorry for him." I said, "Look, if he's going to become a surgeon" - he is studying to be a doctor - "he's going to have his hard times. I feel sorry for him too, but if he lives in…” quote by Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32d/marva-collins-12407_children_one-night-my-son-was-downstairs-studying_2027143.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32d/marva-collins-12407_children_one-night-my-son-was-downstairs-studying_2027143.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32d/marva-collins-12407_children_one-night-my-son-was-downstairs-studying_2027143.jpg) > “One night my son was downstairs studying, and he had been up so late all that week, and my husband said, "I feel so sorry for him." I said, "Look, if he's going to become a surgeon" - he is studying to be a doctor - "he's going to have his hard times. I feel sorry for him too, but if he lives in this world he's going to have more hard times. He's going to stay up some more nights." I think we can't shield them from the hard times, even though we'd like to. I say to the children that I teach and to my own - I can't test the ground for you and tell you that's a safe step there.” [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Parents cannot protect children from future hardships; resilience is built through experience. **In simple terms:** Children must face challenges to grow. Key Takeaway Allow kids to encounter difficulty. Themes parenting resilience education realism Mood reflective empathetic Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - parenting decisions - career guidance - student life - mental stamina Key Concepts growth mindset adversity self-reliance Questions to Reflect On - How can we balance support with exposure to difficulty? - What limits should we set on protecting children? A Different Perspective Shielding may create unpreparedness for real world. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Doctors](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/doctors/) [Feel sorry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel-sorry/) [Feels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/) [Hard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hard/) [Hard time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hard-time/) [Hard times](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hard-times/) [Husband](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/husband/) [Husband Said](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/husband-said-742094/) [I can](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/i-can/) [Ifs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/) [Late](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/late/) [Looks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/looks/) [My husband](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/my-husband/) [My own](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/my-own/) [My son](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/my-son/) [Night](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/night/) [One night](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/one-night/) [Safe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/safe/) [Said](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/said/) [Said Feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/said-feel/) [Say Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/say-children/) [Shields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shields/) [Son](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/son/) [Sorry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sorry/) [Sorry for him](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sorry-for-him/) [Steps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/steps/) [Study](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/study/) [Surgeons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surgeons/) [Teach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/teach/) [Tests](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tests/) [Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/) [This world](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/this-world/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Week](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/week/) [World](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/world/) ## Related quotes > [My stepfather, John O'Hara, was the goodest man there was. He was not a man of many words, but of carefully chosen ones. He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-silverman/my-stepfather-john-o-hara-was-the-goodest-man-there-was-he-was-not-a/) [Sarah Silverman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-silverman/) > [Avant-garde means never having to say you're sorry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marc-ribot/avant-garde-means-never-having-to-say-you-re-sorry/) [Marc Ribot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marc-ribot/) > [Did you see Bush on TV, trying to debate? Jesus, he talked like a donkey with no brains at all...It was pitiful...I almost felt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hunter-s-thompson/did-you-see-bush-on-tv-trying-to-debate-jesus-he-talked-like-a-donkey/) [Hunter S. Thompson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hunter-s-thompson/) > [For my part I am very sorry for him. It is an uneasy lot at best, to be what we call highly taught and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-eliot/for-my-part-i-am-very-sorry-for-him-it-is-an-uneasy-lot-at-best-to-be/) [George Eliot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-eliot/) > [It was a tough situation. A fight that nobody expected to end so abruptly for him because he was really a great fighter. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roy-jones-jr/it-was-a-tough-situation-a-fight-that-nobody-expected-to-end-so/) [Roy Jones Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roy-jones-jr/) > [If a guy's ever telling you a four-hour sex story with a straight face, just feel sorry for him. Not for lying to you,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-romano/if-a-guy-s-ever-telling-you-a-four-hour-sex-story-with-a-straight/) [Ray Romano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-romano/) > [I think his portraits of Jackie, Liz, Marilyn, Mao, Elvis, Lenin - and objects like the soup cans, the dollar signs, the hammer and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-colacello/i-think-his-portraits-of-jackie-liz-marilyn-mao-elvis-lenin-and/) [Bob Colacello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-colacello/) > [When man violates man's laws, we send him to jail and point the finger of scorn at him. When he violates nature's laws, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/b-j-palmer/when-man-violates-man-s-laws-we-send-him-to-jail-and-point-the-finger/) [B. J. Palmer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/b-j-palmer/) > [The Christian pities men because they are dying, and the Buddhist pities them because they are living. The Christian is sorry for what damages…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-k-chesterton/the-christian-pities-men-because-they-are-dying-and-the-buddhist/) [Gilbert K. Chesterton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-k-chesterton/) > [Vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-adler/vasectomy-means-never-having-to-say-you-re-sorry/) [Larry Adler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-adler/) > [When I analyse a position, I have a sparring partner who understands chess amazingly well. In a way I feel sorry for him, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/boris-gelfand/when-i-analyse-a-position-i-have-a-sparring-partner-who-understands/) [Boris Gelfand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/boris-gelfand/) > [ \[On her husband:\] The other day he woke up with a headache. I felt sorry for him. I would like to help him but… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-carroll/on-her-husband-the-other-day-he-woke-up-with-a-headache-i-felt-sorry/) [Jean Carroll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-carroll/) > [ \[Moses\] Mendelssohn was a religious Jew. I felt sorry for him. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elie-wiesel/moses-mendelssohn-was-a-religious-jew-i-felt-sorry-for-him/) [Elie Wiesel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elie-wiesel/) > [I especially like Ron. Sometimes you feel so sorry for him because he's always getting stuff from his brothers. And he's got a fat,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rupert-grint/i-especially-like-ron-sometimes-you-feel-so-sorry-for-him-because-he/) [Rupert Grint](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rupert-grint/) > [For the taxable investor, indexing means never having to say you're sorry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-j-bernstein/for-the-taxable-investor-indexing-means-never-having-to-say-you-re/) [William J. Bernstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-j-bernstein/) ## More by Marva Collins > [Praise is essential in developing the right attitude toward learning and toward school.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/praise-is-essential-in-developing-the-right-attitude-toward-learning/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) > [Kids don't fail. Teachers fail, school systems fail. The people who teach children that they are failures, they are the problem.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/kids-don-t-fail-teachers-fail-school-systems-fail-the-people-who/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) > [You can't find me 20 children in Chicago, I don't care which section you go in - you can be on Michigan Avenue or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/you-can-t-find-me-20-children-in-chicago-i-don-t-care-which-section/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) > [A person cannot all of a sudden become good at what they do just by switching streams.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/a-person-cannot-all-of-a-sudden-become-good-at-what-they-do-just-by/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) > [There isn't a certain time we should set aside to talk about God. God is part of our every waking moment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/there-isn-t-a-certain-time-we-should-set-aside-to-talk-about-god-god/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) > [I cannot change the world, but I do not have to conform.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/i-cannot-change-the-world-but-i-do-not-have-to-conform/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) > [Once children learn how to learn, nothing is going to narrow their mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/once-children-learn-how-to-learn-nothing-is-going-to-narrow-their-mind/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) > [Determination and perseverance move the world; thinking that others will do it for you is a sure way to fail.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/determination-and-perseverance-move-the-world-thinking-that-others/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) > [Students do not need to be labeled or measured any more than they are. They don't need more Federal funds, grants, and gimmicks. What…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/students-do-not-need-to-be-labeled-or-measured-any-more-than-they-are/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) > [One of the things that even wealthy children need is an education, and I think the problems I saw really have nothing to do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/one-of-the-things-that-even-wealthy-children-need-is-an-education-and/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) > [I don't have to be accountable to some authority, which is why I don't take federal funds. I don't want anyone's monies unless they're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/i-don-t-have-to-be-accountable-to-some-authority-which-is-why-i-don-t/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) > [There is a lot of money to be made from miseducation, from the easy to read easy to learn textbooks, workbooks, teacher manuals, educational…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/there-is-a-lot-of-money-to-be-made-from-miseducation-from-the-easy-to/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) > [Trust yourself. Think for yourself. Act for yourself. Speak for yourself. Be yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/trust-yourself-think-for-yourself-act-for-yourself-speak-for-yourself/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) > [Our children learn the phonetic method, which is why they're very good spellers, I suppose. Because rather than ABC or just saying a word,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/our-children-learn-the-phonetic-method-which-is-why-they-re-very-good/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) > [There is a brilliant child locked inside every student.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/there-is-a-brilliant-child-locked-inside-every-student/) [Marva Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) [Explore all 55 Marva Collins quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/) ## More Children quotes > [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/) [Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/) > [Behind every successful child is an adult who believed in him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/behind-every-successful-child-is-an-adult-who-believed-in-him/) [Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/) > [I believe in freedom to do what you want if you aren't hurting others, but pictures of obese protesters giving their children big gulps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-defranco/i-believe-in-freedom-to-do-what-you-want-if-you-aren-t-hurting-others/) [Philip DeFranco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-defranco/) > [If the audience likes your work, if they like you, they don't think whether you are married or have children or not. I made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dimple-kapadia/if-the-audience-likes-your-work-if-they-like-you-they-don-t-think/) [Dimple Kapadia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dimple-kapadia/) > [It doesnt seem to me strange that children should like the macabre, the sensational, and the forbidden.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-hecht/it-doesnt-seem-to-me-strange-that-children-should-like-the-macabre/) [Anthony Hecht](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-hecht/) > [Let children support their parents or be imprisoned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-children-support-their-parents-or-be-imprisoned/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/) [Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/) > [My embarrassing confession is that my father is a 'Camelot: The Musical' obsessive. So as a child, when we were going to visit relatives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-chibnall/my-embarrassing-confession-is-that-my-father-is-a-camelot-the-musical/) [Chris Chibnall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-chibnall/) > [I have many who keep me going, I am very fortunate in this sense. There is nothing like a child who knows more about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/floyd-cooper/i-have-many-who-keep-me-going-i-am-very-fortunate-in-this-sense-there/) [Floyd Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/floyd-cooper/) > [My school was one of the most beautiful places a child can grow up in. You are surrounded by nature - cats, dogs, birds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amala-akkineni/my-school-was-one-of-the-most-beautiful-places-a-child-can-grow-up-in/) [Amala Akkineni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amala-akkineni/) > [A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors, young and old, seem to be afflicted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-paglia/a-lesser-complaint-hair-extensions-there-are-moments-on-all-my/) [Camille Paglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-paglia/) > [As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There's a trust there. I feel like little girls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-cho/as-a-child-i-had-a-lot-of-older-gay-men-taking-care-of-me-there-s-a/) [Margaret Cho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-cho/) > [If my child had prejudice in his head, I'd be ashamed. I would see it as my failure as a parent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/salman-rushdie/if-my-child-had-prejudice-in-his-head-i-d-be-ashamed-i-would-see-it/) [Salman Rushdie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/salman-rushdie/) > [“Children's lives are always beginning and adults' lives are always ending. Or is it the opposite? Your childhood is always ending and your adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-espach/children-s-lives-are-always-beginning-and-adults-lives-are-always/) [Alison Espach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-espach/) > [As a child I was very involved with sports and I knew at age 9 that I wanted to be an Olympic champion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marion-jones/as-a-child-i-was-very-involved-with-sports-and-i-knew-at-age-9-that-i/) [Marion Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marion-jones/) [Browse all 62,396 Children quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "One night my son was downstairs studying, and he had been up so late all that week, and my husband said, \"I feel so sorry for him.\" I said, \"Look, if he's going to become a surgeon\" - he is studying to be a doctor - \"he's going to have his hard times. I feel sorry for him too, but if he lives in this world he's going to have more hard times. He's going to stay up some more nights.\" I think we can't shield them from the hard times, even though we'd like to. I say to the children that I teach and to my own - I can't test the ground for you and tell you that's a safe step there.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Marva Collins" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/one-night-my-son-was-downstairs-studying-and-he-had-been-up-so-late/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Children" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/one-night-my-son-was-downstairs-studying-and-he-had-been-up-so-late/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32d/marva-collins-12407_children_one-night-my-son-was-downstairs-studying_2027143.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32d/marva-collins-12407_children_one-night-my-son-was-downstairs-studying_2027143.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32d/marva-collins-12407_children_one-night-my-son-was-downstairs-studying_2027143.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“One night my son was downstairs studying, and he had been up so late all that week, and my husband said, \"I…” — Marva Collins", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Marva Collins", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marva-collins/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "One night my son was downstairs...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/one-night-my-son-was-downstairs-studying-and-he-had-been-up-so-late/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marva-collins/one-night-my-son-was-downstairs-studying-and-he-had-been-up-so-late/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```