---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It's hard to hate up close. The more you…"
description: "\"It's hard to hate up close. The more you get to know each other, the more common ground you can find and the more you can disagree without being disagr..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69c/martha-mcsally-15801_common_it-s-hard-to-hate-up-close-the-more-you_2349612.jpg"
---

#  It's hard to hate up close. The more you get to know each…

![“It's hard to hate up close. The more you get to know each other, the more common ground you can find and the more you can disagree without being disagreeable.” quote by Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69c/martha-mcsally-15801_common_it-s-hard-to-hate-up-close-the-more-you_2349612.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69c/martha-mcsally-15801_common_it-s-hard-to-hate-up-close-the-more-you_2349612.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69c/martha-mcsally-15801_common_it-s-hard-to-hate-up-close-the-more-you_2349612.jpg)

> “It's hard to hate up close. The more you get to know each other, the more common ground you can find and the more you can disagree without being disagreeable.”

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Close relationships reveal both shared values and differences, allowing respectful disagreement.

**In simple terms:** Knowing each other helps you disagree nicely.

Key Takeaway

Seek common ground before debating.

Themes

communication relationships conflict resolution

Mood

hopeful thoughtful

Type

motivational inspirational

When to use this quote

- team meetings
- community forums
- family discussions
- political debates

Key Concepts

empathy dialogue cognitive bias

Questions to Reflect On

- What common values can you highlight?
- How can you stay respectful when disagreeing?

A Different Perspective

People may still argue heatedly despite common ground.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Common ground](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/common-ground/) [Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate/)

## Related quotes

> [Civility also requires relearning how to disagree without being disagreeable. Surely you can question my policies without questioning my faith or, for that matter,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barack-obama/civility-also-requires-relearning-how-to-disagree-without-being/)

[Barack Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barack-obama/)

> [Unfortunately civility is hard to codify or legislate, but you know it when you see it. It's possible to disagree without being disagreeable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sandra-day-o-connor/unfortunately-civility-is-hard-to-codify-or-legislate-but-you-know-it/)

[Sandra Day O'Connor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sandra-day-o-connor/)

> [If I have my opinion about something, you have your opinion about something, we don't have to fight over it. And we can have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-lemon/if-i-have-my-opinion-about-something-you-have-your-opinion-about/)

[Don Lemon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-lemon/)

> [Though we disagree, we should not be disagreeable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dallin-h-oaks/though-we-disagree-we-should-not-be-disagreeable/)

[Dallin H. Oaks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dallin-h-oaks/)

> [Yes, we are all different. Different customs, different foods, different mannerisms, different languages, but not so different that we cannot get along with one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-martin-kohe/yes-we-are-all-different-different-customs-different-foods-different/)

[J. Martin Kohe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-martin-kohe/)

> [If we must disagree, let's disagree without being disagreeable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lyndon-b-johnson/if-we-must-disagree-let-s-disagree-without-being-disagreeable/)

[Lyndon B. Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lyndon-b-johnson/)

> [We must be able to disagree without being disagreeable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/young-kim/we-must-be-able-to-disagree-without-being-disagreeable/)

[Young Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/young-kim/)

> [One of the marks of maturity is the ability to disagree without becoming disagreeable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-r-swindoll/one-of-the-marks-of-maturity-is-the-ability-to-disagree-without/)

[Charles R. Swindoll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-r-swindoll/)

> [If you have learned how to disagree without being disagreeable, then you have discovered the secrete of getting along - whether it be business,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernard-meltzer/if-you-have-learned-how-to-disagree-without-being-disagreeable-then/)

[Bernard Meltzer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernard-meltzer/)

> [A gentleman is a man who can disagree without being disagreeable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-gentleman-is-a-man-who-can-disagree-without-being-disagreeable/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [You can disagree without being disagreeable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-can-disagree-without-being-disagreeable/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Whether in families or in politics, a good observation: "One can disagree without being disagreeable."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-goldwater/whether-in-families-or-in-politics-a-good-observation-one-can/)

[Barry Goldwater](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-goldwater/)

> [It is a mark of a superior mind to be able to disagree without being disagreeable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-landers/it-is-a-mark-of-a-superior-mind-to-be-able-to-disagree-without-being/)

[Ann Landers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-landers/)

> [Humor can help you to disagree without being disagreeable. The key in democracy is not necessarily that we agree, but that we participate…Despite all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gerald-r-ford/humor-can-help-you-to-disagree-without-being-disagreeable-the-key-in/)

[Gerald R. Ford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gerald-r-ford/)

> [I just don't know that we're as filled with hate as cable news leads us to believe. It's hard to hate up close.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-c-pelosi/i-just-don-t-know-that-we-re-as-filled-with-hate-as-cable-news-leads/)

[Alexandra C. Pelosi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-c-pelosi/)

## More by Martha McSally

> [My colleagues and I fought to increase the resources to address several things, like maternity, prenatal, and newborn care, and mental health and substance…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/my-colleagues-and-i-fought-to-increase-the-resources-to-address/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

> [The chief duty of our federal government is the safety and security of the American people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/the-chief-duty-of-our-federal-government-is-the-safety-and-security/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

> [Before I became a fighter pilot, everyone said that women didn't have the physical strength. Well, I had just completed the Hawaii Ironman Triathlon.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/before-i-became-a-fighter-pilot-everyone-said-that-women-didn-t-have/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

> [If I was a guy, based on how I performed in pilot training, I would have been able to have selected a fighter. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/if-i-was-a-guy-based-on-how-i-performed-in-pilot-training-i-would/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

> [When American troops find themselves fighting for their lives, there is no better sound than an A-10 - a plane officially nicknamed the Thunderbolt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/when-american-troops-find-themselves-fighting-for-their-lives-there/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

> [North Korea is not even close to being a near peer to South Korea or, much less, the United States.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/north-korea-is-not-even-close-to-being-a-near-peer-to-south-korea-or/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

> [America has a long history of pride in the military uniform, and the Army has a 362-page directive on proper uniform wear. Included are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/america-has-a-long-history-of-pride-in-the-military-uniform-and-the/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

> [Ultimately, it's not our responsibility to turn Afghanistan into a 21st-century, vibrant, economic, liberal democracy with a little L. Our responsibility is to keep…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/ultimately-it-s-not-our-responsibility-to-turn-afghanistan-into-a/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

> [I think my being a combat pilot, being a woman who has had to break down barriers and succeed in a male-dominated environment, and,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/i-think-my-being-a-combat-pilot-being-a-woman-who-has-had-to-break/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

> [When I see something messed up, I'm going to challenge it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/when-i-see-something-messed-up-i-m-going-to-challenge-it/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

> [Growing up, I was told I could be anything I wanted to be. There were no limitations restraining me just because I was a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/growing-up-i-was-told-i-could-be-anything-i-wanted-to-be-there-were/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

> [From flying in the cockpit of an A-10 to chairing hearings on Capitol Hill, I've learned that each of us will face struggles as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/from-flying-in-the-cockpit-of-an-a-10-to-chairing-hearings-on-capitol/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

> [It's important in our role as leaders that we use the platform to address issues, to address barriers, to identify best practices for overcoming…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/it-s-important-in-our-role-as-leaders-that-we-use-the-platform-to/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

> [Before running for office, I was an A-10 squadron commander with 325 combat hours. During my time in uniform and since coming to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/before-running-for-office-i-was-an-a-10-squadron-commander-with-325/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

> [When you value people, you give them freedom.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/when-you-value-people-you-give-them-freedom/)

[Martha McSally](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

[Explore all 42 Martha McSally quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/)

## More Common quotes

> [I'm Fine!, the most common LIE in the world...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/punkinhead-abhishek/i-m-fine-the-most-common-lie-in-the-world/)

[Punkinhead Abhishek](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/punkinhead-abhishek/)

> [A flourishing, morally credible media is a vital component in the maintenance of genuinely public talk, argument about common good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rowan-williams/a-flourishing-morally-credible-media-is-a-vital-component-in-the/)

[Rowan Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rowan-williams/)

> [We find few historians who have been diligent enough in their search for truth; it is their common method to take on trust what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dryden/we-find-few-historians-who-have-been-diligent-enough-in-their-search/)

[John Dryden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dryden/)

> [The ability of the gospel to unite us on common strengths and common truths is one of the great miracles . . . of the gospel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-r-holland/the-ability-of-the-gospel-to-unite-us-on-common-strengths-and-common/)

[Jeffrey R. Holland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-r-holland/)

> [Our times demand the declaration of the world's resources as the common heritage of all people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacque-fresco/our-times-demand-the-declaration-of-the-world-s-resources-as-the/)

[Jacque Fresco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacque-fresco/)

> [ Neither Italian fascism nor German national "socialism" have anything in common with such a \[Soviet socialistic\] society, primarily because private ownership of factories, plants,… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-stalin/neither-italian-fascism-nor-german-national-socialism-have-anything/)

[Joseph Stalin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-stalin/)

> [When you have a cavity in your tooth and you let it get worse, eventually you have to get a root canal. If you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/olivia-newton-john/when-you-have-a-cavity-in-your-tooth-and-you-let-it-get-worse/)

[Olivia Newton-John](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/olivia-newton-john/)

> [There is nothing that we can properly call our own but our time, and yet everybody fools us out of it who has a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seneca-the-younger/there-is-nothing-that-we-can-properly-call-our-own-but-our-time-and/)

[Seneca the Younger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seneca-the-younger/)

> [Common sense is nothing more than a deposit of prejudices laid down in the mind before you reach eighteen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-einstein/common-sense-is-nothing-more-than-a-deposit-of-prejudices-laid-down/)

[Albert Einstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-einstein/)

> [A common fallacy in much of the adverse criticism to which science is subjected today is that it claims certainty, infallibility and complete emotional…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-norman-hinshelwood/a-common-fallacy-in-much-of-the-adverse-criticism-to-which-science-is/)

[Cyril Norman Hinshelwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-norman-hinshelwood/)

> [We can find common qualities and common values that have made Britain the country it is. Our belief in tolerance and liberty which shines…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-brown/we-can-find-common-qualities-and-common-values-that-have-made-britain/)

[Gordon Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-brown/)

> [A time will come when the science of destruction shall bend before the arts of peace; when the genius which multiplies our powers, which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francois-arago/a-time-will-come-when-the-science-of-destruction-shall-bend-before/)

[Francois Arago](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francois-arago/)

> [… and so he tried to accept the ache in his heart as what Dr. Larch would call the common symptoms of normal life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/and-so-he-tried-to-accept-the-ache-in-his-heart-as-what-dr-larch/)

[John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/)

> [It is a tragedy that we live in a world where physical courage is so common, and moral courage is so rare.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/claude-monet/it-is-a-tragedy-that-we-live-in-a-world-where-physical-courage-is-so/)

[Claude Monet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/claude-monet/)

> [Those who advocate common usage in philosophy sometimes speak in a manner that suggests the mystique of the 'common man.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bertrand-russell/those-who-advocate-common-usage-in-philosophy-sometimes-speak-in-a/)

[Bertrand Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bertrand-russell/)

Browse all 7,866 Common quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "It's hard to hate up close. The more you get to know each other, the more common ground you can find and the more you can disagree without being disagreeable.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Martha McSally"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/it-s-hard-to-hate-up-close-the-more-you-get-to-know-each-other-the/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Common"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/it-s-hard-to-hate-up-close-the-more-you-get-to-know-each-other-the/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69c/martha-mcsally-15801_common_it-s-hard-to-hate-up-close-the-more-you_2349612.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69c/martha-mcsally-15801_common_it-s-hard-to-hate-up-close-the-more-you_2349612.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69c/martha-mcsally-15801_common_it-s-hard-to-hate-up-close-the-more-you_2349612.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“It's hard to hate up close. The more you get to know each other, the more common ground you can find and the…” — Martha McSally",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Martha McSally",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-mcsally/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "It's hard to hate up close....",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/it-s-hard-to-hate-up-close-the-more-you-get-to-know-each-other-the/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-mcsally/it-s-hard-to-hate-up-close-the-more-you-get-to-know-each-other-the/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
