---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: ...Refusing to feel desire is the only…"
description: "\"“...Refusing to feel desire is the only thing more painful than failing to get what you want, and that learning not to yearn, far from preventing disap..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1a/martha-beck-961_desire_refusing-to-feel-desire-is-the-only-thin_2130237.jpg"
---

#  ...Refusing to feel desire is the only thing more painful…

![“...Refusing to feel desire is the only thing more painful than failing to get what you want, and that learning not to yearn, far from preventing disappointment, ultimately guarantees it.” quote by Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1a/martha-beck-961_desire_refusing-to-feel-desire-is-the-only-thin_2130237.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1a/martha-beck-961_desire_refusing-to-feel-desire-is-the-only-thin_2130237.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1a/martha-beck-961_desire_refusing-to-feel-desire-is-the-only-thin_2130237.jpg)

> ““...Refusing to feel desire is the only thing more painful than failing to get what you want, and that learning not to yearn, far from preventing disappointment, ultimately guarantees it.””

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Suppressing desire leads to greater disappointment; embracing longing is part of growth.

**In simple terms:** Avoiding desire causes more pain.

Key Takeaway

Acknowledge and understand your desires.

Themes

desire pain growth

Mood

thoughtful insightful

Type

philosophical motivational

When to use this quote

- relationships
- career goals
- personal development

Key Concepts

psychology emotional intelligence motivation

Questions to Reflect On

- What desires are you denying?
- How can you channel desire constructively?

A Different Perspective

Ignoring desire can cause distress.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/)

## Related quotes

> [Failing with reasons is less painful than failing without reasons.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-mark/failing-with-reasons-is-less-painful-than-failing-without-reasons/)

[Terry Mark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-mark/)

> [Never accept conventional wisdom when it comes to finance. If others keep failing, why do you want to follow them?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ziad-k-abdelnour/never-accept-conventional-wisdom-when-it-comes-to-finance-if-others/)

[Ziad K. Abdelnour](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ziad-k-abdelnour/)

> [I don't care about failing because I do not want to sit down in my older years and say, 'How come I didn't try?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-fernandes/i-don-t-care-about-failing-because-i-do-not-want-to-sit-down-in-my/)

[Tony Fernandes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-fernandes/)

> [“Refusing to feel hurt also meant she numbed herself to joy, but the sacrifice was worth it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-wiggs/refusing-to-feel-hurt-also-meant-she-numbed-herself-to-joy-but-the/)

[Susan Wiggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-wiggs/)

> [Detachment is not about refusing to feel or not caring or turning away from those you love. Detachment is profoundly honest, grounded firmly in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/detachment-is-not-about-refusing-to-feel-or-not-caring-or-turning/)

[Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/)

> [“Acting was all about making yourself feel things-love,rage,euphoria,agony. She had to unlearn those things now. She had to teach herself not to feel. Refusing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-wiggs/acting-was-all-about-making-yourself-feel-things-love-rage-euphoria/)

[Susan Wiggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-wiggs/)

> [“The great thing about refusing to feel feelings is that, once you’ve denied them, you don’t have to take responsibility for them. Your feelings…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-webb/the-great-thing-about-refusing-to-feel-feelings-is-that-once-you-ve/)

[Robert Webb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-webb/)

> [By Refusing to satisfy unimportant or unhealthy desires.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/senoraroy/by-refusing-to-satisfy-unimportant-or-unhealthy-desires/)

Senoraroy

> [Passionately defending one's principles is crucial. Representing your district is fundamental. But refusing to entertain the common ground - with no other cost but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-quigley/passionately-defending-one-s-principles-is-crucial-representing-your/)

[Mike Quigley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-quigley/)

> [“It's too late," she whispered. He whirled her around. "Don't say that! We are no better than animals if we cannot learn from our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julia-quinn/it-s-too-late-she-whispered-he-whirled-her-around-don-t-say-that-we/)

[Julia Quinn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julia-quinn/)

> [“I hoped he was right. I’d never heard of a university refusing money.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-harrison/i-hoped-he-was-right-i-d-never-heard-of-a-university-refusing-money/)

[Kim Harrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-harrison/)

> [“The sun was a toddler insistently refusing to go to bed.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/the-sun-was-a-toddler-insistently-refusing-to-go-to-bed/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

> [“To heal the pain of another is to heal my own pain. Yet, some of the greatest pain that I can experience is found…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/to-heal-the-pain-of-another-is-to-heal-my-own-pain-yet-some-of-the/)

[Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/)

> [“No, I won't help you. No I won't hear you explain why I should. It really is a magical word: no. You say whatever…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/holly-black/no-i-won-t-help-you-no-i-won-t-hear-you-explain-why-i-should-it/)

[Holly Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/holly-black/)

> [No matter what your dream job is, you'll likely hear 'no' many times before you achieve your goals. Just accept that as a fact.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-bream/no-matter-what-your-dream-job-is-you-ll-likely-hear-no-many-times/)

[Shannon Bream](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-bream/)

## More by Martha Beck

> [Imagine what you'd do if it absolutely didn't matter what people thought of you. Got it? Good. Never go back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/imagine-what-you-d-do-if-it-absolutely-didn-t-matter-what-people/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

> [In one century, we've added 28 years to our average life span - a change so rapid that our brains couldn't possibly have evolved…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/in-one-century-we-ve-added-28-years-to-our-average-life-span-a-change/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

> [If I tell a man he needs to quit his soul-sucking job, he has to go home and fight with his wife or fight…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/if-i-tell-a-man-he-needs-to-quit-his-soul-sucking-job-he-has-to-go/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

> [I was learning to track rhinoceroses in Africa and tracked right up on an animal that really I thought was going to kill me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/i-was-learning-to-track-rhinoceroses-in-africa-and-tracked-right-up/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

> [There has never been, and never will be, anyone who sees, thinks, or responds exactly the way you do. Whether you’re revolutionizing physics or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/there-has-never-been-and-never-will-be-anyone-who-sees-thinks-or/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

> [Loneliness is proof that your innate search for connection is intact.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/loneliness-is-proof-that-your-innate-search-for-connection-is-intact/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

> [Most of my clients don't realize that the way they look and the way they think about their looks are two separate issues.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/most-of-my-clients-don-t-realize-that-the-way-they-look-and-the-way/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

> [The power to bring me out of solitude - or to push me back into it - had never belonged to another person. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/the-power-to-bring-me-out-of-solitude-or-to-push-me-back-into-it-had/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

> [Learning to quit while you're not ahead, when the dull ooze of depression tells you things are not going to get any better, is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/learning-to-quit-while-you-re-not-ahead-when-the-dull-ooze-of/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

> [The important thing is to tell yourself a life story in which you, the hero, are primarily a problem solver rather than a helpless…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/the-important-thing-is-to-tell-yourself-a-life-story-in-which-you-the/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

> [A joyful life isn’t about others; it’s about the brightness that is associated with being alive. Your path to it is through anything that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/a-joyful-life-isn-t-about-others-it-s-about-the-brightness-that-is/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

> [Fear is the raw material from which courage is manufactured. Without it, we wouldn't even know what it means to be brave.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/fear-is-the-raw-material-from-which-courage-is-manufactured-without/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

> [Many people think passion is a fuzzy feeling that makes taking action effortless. In fact, it's the gritty courage and tenacity to forge onward.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/many-people-think-passion-is-a-fuzzy-feeling-that-makes-taking-action/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

> [Angels come in many shapes and sizes, and most of them are not invisible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/angels-come-in-many-shapes-and-sizes-and-most-of-them-are-not/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

> [Truth itself is something you live, not something you think.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/truth-itself-is-something-you-live-not-something-you-think/)

[Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

[Explore all 318 Martha Beck quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/)

## More Desire quotes

> [I put myself in the student's place and remember the frustrations, doubts, determination, and desires I felt when I was going through the initial…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-martinez/i-put-myself-in-the-student-s-place-and-remember-the-frustrations/)

Ted Martinez

> [Passion is what you need to be good, an unforgiving passion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-easton/passion-is-what-you-need-to-be-good-an-unforgiving-passion/)

[David Easton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-easton/)

> [I want the municipality to be a helping hand to the man with a desire of sympathy, to help the fallen when it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-burns/i-want-the-municipality-to-be-a-helping-hand-to-the-man-with-a-desire/)

[John Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-burns/)

> [Ye youths and virgins, when your generous blood Has drunk the warmth of fifteen summers, now The loves invite; now to new rapture wakes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-armstrong/ye-youths-and-virgins-when-your-generous-blood-has-drunk-the-warmth/)

[John Armstrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-armstrong/)

> [I have observed this in my experience of slavery, - that whenever my condition was improved, instead of its increasing my contentment, it only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-douglass/i-have-observed-this-in-my-experience-of-slavery-that-whenever-my/)

[Frederick Douglass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-douglass/)

> [“THE ESSENCE OF YOUR DESIRE IS A FEELING”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danielle-laporte/the-essence-of-your-desire-is-a-feeling/)

[Danielle LaPorte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danielle-laporte/)

> [On the brink of being satiated, desire still appears infinite.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-rostand/on-the-brink-of-being-satiated-desire-still-appears-infinite/)

[Jean Rostand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-rostand/)

> [If there is any period one would desire to be born in, is it not the age of Revolution; when the old and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/if-there-is-any-period-one-would-desire-to-be-born-in-is-it-not-the/)

[Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/)

> [He caught her, she fell, he caught her in his arms, he held her tightly unconscious of what he was doing. He held her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victor-hugo/he-caught-her-she-fell-he-caught-her-in-his-arms-he-held-her-tightly/)

[Victor Hugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victor-hugo/)

> [ Teaching might even be the greatest of the arts since the medium is the human mind and spirit. My three \[great teachers\] did not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-steinbeck/teaching-might-even-be-the-greatest-of-the-arts-since-the-medium-is/)

[John Steinbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-steinbeck/)

> [“The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dewey/the-deepest-urge-in-human-nature-is-the-desire-to-be-important/)

[John Dewey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dewey/)

> [In discovering books, you became free to explore the full range of human motives, desires, secrets, and lies. All my life, people have scolded…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betsy-lerner/in-discovering-books-you-became-free-to-explore-the-full-range-of/)

[Betsy Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betsy-lerner/)

> [I have never been in, nor have I had any strong particular desire to be in, what is termed a costume drama, but I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-freeman/i-have-never-been-in-nor-have-i-had-any-strong-particular-desire-to/)

[Martin Freeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-freeman/)

> [Now I am in the place I call this wide wide Heaven because it includes all my simplest desires but also the most humble…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/now-i-am-in-the-place-i-call-this-wide-wide-heaven-because-it/)

[Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/)

> [“from THE DEVIL YOU KNOW : She wanted him too. He could see it in the rapid rise of her breasts. He could smell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emery-lee/from-the-devil-you-know-she-wanted-him-too-he-could-see-it-in-the/)

[Emery Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emery-lee/)

[Browse all 15,155 Desire quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“...Refusing to feel desire is the only thing more painful than failing to get what you want, and that learning not to yearn, far from preventing disappointment, ultimately guarantees it.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Martha Beck"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/refusing-to-feel-desire-is-the-only-thing-more-painful-than-failing/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Desire"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/refusing-to-feel-desire-is-the-only-thing-more-painful-than-failing/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1a/martha-beck-961_desire_refusing-to-feel-desire-is-the-only-thin_2130237.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1a/martha-beck-961_desire_refusing-to-feel-desire-is-the-only-thin_2130237.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1a/martha-beck-961_desire_refusing-to-feel-desire-is-the-only-thin_2130237.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“...Refusing to feel desire is the only thing more painful than failing to get what you want, and that…” — Martha Beck",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Martha Beck",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“...Refusing to feel desire is the...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/refusing-to-feel-desire-is-the-only-thing-more-painful-than-failing/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/refusing-to-feel-desire-is-the-only-thing-more-painful-than-failing/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
