--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If you're feeling intransigently…" description: "\"If you're feeling intransigently ambivalent, it might pay to formally accept what's already happening - that is, decide not to decide.\" — Martha Beck" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecb/martha-beck-961_accept_if-you-re-feeling-intransigently-ambival_2511235.png" --- # If you're feeling intransigently ambivalent, it might pay… ![“If you're feeling intransigently ambivalent, it might pay to formally accept what's already happening - that is, decide not to decide.” quote by Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecb/martha-beck-961_accept_if-you-re-feeling-intransigently-ambival_2511235.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecb/martha-beck-961_accept_if-you-re-feeling-intransigently-ambival_2511235.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecb/martha-beck-961_accept_if-you-re-feeling-intransigently-ambival_2511235.png) > “If you're feeling intransigently ambivalent, it might pay to formally accept what's already happening - that is, decide not to decide.” [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. When indecision overwhelms, intentionally choosing not to decide can reduce anxiety and allow life to unfold naturally. **In simple terms:** Accepting uncertainty can be a purposeful choice. Key Takeaway Embrace the pause and observe. Themes indecision acceptance mindfulness Mood contemplative calm Type self‑help philosophical When to use this quote - career crossroads - relationship dilemmas - creative blocks - health decisions Key Concepts psychology decision theory acceptance therapy Questions to Reflect On - When is it better to decide versus wait? - How does non‑decision affect your wellbeing? A Different Perspective Avoiding decisions may lead to missed opportunities or stagnation. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Accept](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accept/) [Ambivalent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ambivalent/) [Ambivalent Pay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ambivalent-pay-1157772/) [Decide](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/decide/) [Feeling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feeling/) [Feeling Intransigently](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feeling-intransigently-1157771/) [Happening](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/happening/) [Intransigently Ambivalent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/intransigently-ambivalent-1157770/) [Might](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/might/) [Pay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pay/) [You](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/you/) ## Related quotes > [If you want to end your isolation, you must be honest about what you want at a core level and decide to go after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/if-you-want-to-end-your-isolation-you-must-be-honest-about-what-you/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [“I find it ironic that someone so ambivalent about living fights so hard to survive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/i-find-it-ironic-that-someone-so-ambivalent-about-living-fights-so/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [It's time to "stop being ambivalent." ... They (groups like the Islamic State) have no ideology beyond violence and chaos and the slaughter of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barack-obama/it-s-time-to-stop-being-ambivalent-they-groups-like-the-islamic-state/) [Barack Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barack-obama/) > [We all parent the best we can. Being human, we're ambivalent. We want perfection for our babies, but we also need sleep.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erica-jong/we-all-parent-the-best-we-can-being-human-we-re-ambivalent-we-want/) [Erica Jong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erica-jong/) > [The more ambivalent you are and the more uncertain you are, then you can get something that you cannot anticipate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elia-kazan/the-more-ambivalent-you-are-and-the-more-uncertain-you-are-then-you/) [Elia Kazan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elia-kazan/) > [I'd like to see a much more open Monarchy, myself. I used to think they were completely useless and we should get rid of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/helen-mirren/i-d-like-to-see-a-much-more-open-monarchy-myself-i-used-to-think-they/) [Helen Mirren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/helen-mirren/) > [“The unconscious operation of the attachment system via internal working models probably plays an important part in the choice of marital partner and relationship…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-holmes/the-unconscious-operation-of-the-attachment-system-via-internal/) [Jeremy Holmes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-holmes/) > [What does it mean then to live with one another? 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The public supported America's engagement in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zbigniew-brzezinski/the-attitude-of-the-american-public-toward-the-external-projection-of/) [Zbigniew Brzezinski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zbigniew-brzezinski/) > [There is scarcely room for doubt that something in the psychological relation of a mother-in-law to a son-in-law breeds hostility between them and makes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sigmund-freud/there-is-scarcely-room-for-doubt-that-something-in-the-psychological/) [Sigmund Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sigmund-freud/) > [When you 'make good,' you find out who your real friends are. You find out pretty quick. And it's a very ambivalent feeling, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-camp/when-you-make-good-you-find-out-who-your-real-friends-are-you-find/) [Greg Camp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-camp/) > [Americans have always had an ambivalent attitude toward intelligence. When they feel threatened, they want a lot of it, and when they don't, they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-a-walters/americans-have-always-had-an-ambivalent-attitude-toward-intelligence/) [Vernon A. Walters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-a-walters/) > [We all have ambivalent feelings toward work ... We try to avoid it, and yet we seem to require it for our emotional well-being.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-florman/we-all-have-ambivalent-feelings-toward-work-we-try-to-avoid-it-and/) [Samuel Florman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-florman/) ## More by Martha Beck > [Imagine what you'd do if it absolutely didn't matter what people thought of you. Got it? Good. Never go back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/imagine-what-you-d-do-if-it-absolutely-didn-t-matter-what-people/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [In one century, we've added 28 years to our average life span - a change so rapid that our brains couldn't possibly have evolved…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/in-one-century-we-ve-added-28-years-to-our-average-life-span-a-change/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [If I tell a man he needs to quit his soul-sucking job, he has to go home and fight with his wife or fight…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/if-i-tell-a-man-he-needs-to-quit-his-soul-sucking-job-he-has-to-go/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [I was learning to track rhinoceroses in Africa and tracked right up on an animal that really I thought was going to kill me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/i-was-learning-to-track-rhinoceroses-in-africa-and-tracked-right-up/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [There has never been, and never will be, anyone who sees, thinks, or responds exactly the way you do. Whether you’re revolutionizing physics or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/there-has-never-been-and-never-will-be-anyone-who-sees-thinks-or/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [Loneliness is proof that your innate search for connection is intact.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/loneliness-is-proof-that-your-innate-search-for-connection-is-intact/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [Most of my clients don't realize that the way they look and the way they think about their looks are two separate issues.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/most-of-my-clients-don-t-realize-that-the-way-they-look-and-the-way/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [The power to bring me out of solitude - or to push me back into it - had never belonged to another person. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/the-power-to-bring-me-out-of-solitude-or-to-push-me-back-into-it-had/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [Learning to quit while you're not ahead, when the dull ooze of depression tells you things are not going to get any better, is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/learning-to-quit-while-you-re-not-ahead-when-the-dull-ooze-of/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [The important thing is to tell yourself a life story in which you, the hero, are primarily a problem solver rather than a helpless…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/the-important-thing-is-to-tell-yourself-a-life-story-in-which-you-the/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [A joyful life isn’t about others; it’s about the brightness that is associated with being alive. Your path to it is through anything that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/a-joyful-life-isn-t-about-others-it-s-about-the-brightness-that-is/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [Fear is the raw material from which courage is manufactured. Without it, we wouldn't even know what it means to be brave.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/fear-is-the-raw-material-from-which-courage-is-manufactured-without/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [Many people think passion is a fuzzy feeling that makes taking action effortless. In fact, it's the gritty courage and tenacity to forge onward.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/many-people-think-passion-is-a-fuzzy-feeling-that-makes-taking-action/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [Angels come in many shapes and sizes, and most of them are not invisible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/angels-come-in-many-shapes-and-sizes-and-most-of-them-are-not/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) > [Truth itself is something you live, not something you think.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/truth-itself-is-something-you-live-not-something-you-think/) [Martha Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) [Explore all 318 Martha Beck quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/) ## More Accept quotes > [If we accept being talked to any kind of a way, then we are telling ourselves we are not quite worth the best. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/if-we-accept-being-talked-to-any-kind-of-a-way-then-we-are-telling/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [The shelves of many evangelicals are full of books that point out the flaws in evolution, discuss it only as a theory, and almost…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-collins/the-shelves-of-many-evangelicals-are-full-of-books-that-point-out-the/) [Francis Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-collins/) > [The fans can accept a poor performance, but they won't take it when you choose not to put in the effort.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pep-guardiola/the-fans-can-accept-a-poor-performance-but-they-won-t-take-it-when/) [Pep Guardiola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pep-guardiola/) > [“See, I know what they think about me. That I’m some project. And, yeah, I’ll accept their help. But I’m gonna pay my way.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirsty-eagar/see-i-know-what-they-think-about-me-that-i-m-some-project-and-yeah-i/) [Kirsty Eagar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kirsty-eagar/) > [If you're disabled or different from what general society deems normal, it's fine. There will always be people who won't accept you, but there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/millicent-simmonds/if-you-re-disabled-or-different-from-what-general-society-deems/) [Millicent Simmonds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/millicent-simmonds/) > [Things don't go on forever, and the quicker you accept that change is inevitable, the happier you're gonna be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trey-anastasio/things-don-t-go-on-forever-and-the-quicker-you-accept-that-change-is/) [Trey Anastasio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trey-anastasio/) > [It's very important to me that people accept me as a transgendered female. But it's ridiculous to a lot of people and I understand…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexis-arquette/it-s-very-important-to-me-that-people-accept-me-as-a-transgendered/) [Alexis Arquette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexis-arquette/) > [I've always taken care of myself, and I'm a non-conformist, so I don't accept the negativity that comes with birthdays.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-van-dam/i-ve-always-taken-care-of-myself-and-i-m-a-non-conformist-so-i-don-t/) [Rob Van Dam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-van-dam/) > [Not harder than it should be, no. We're about the business, we're about the work. It's all about the work, always. We have fun…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/antoine-fuqua/not-harder-than-it-should-be-no-we-re-about-the-business-we-re-about/) [Antoine Fuqua](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/antoine-fuqua/) > [I wish I could just accept that I'm not that good and not be shy about the fact that I'm not that professional.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-gainsbourg/i-wish-i-could-just-accept-that-i-m-not-that-good-and-not-be-shy/) [Charlotte Gainsbourg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-gainsbourg/) > [I cannot accept being silent in the face of injustice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jasmine-crockett/i-cannot-accept-being-silent-in-the-face-of-injustice/) [Jasmine Crockett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jasmine-crockett/) > [“I hope there is less stigma and judgment against working moms and childless career women. All should be acceptable positions and society should not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chan-heng-chee/i-hope-there-is-less-stigma-and-judgment-against-working-moms-and/) [Chan Heng Chee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chan-heng-chee/) > [“Of course I can accept you for who you are. You are someone I need to change.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randy-glasbergen/of-course-i-can-accept-you-for-who-you-are-you-are-someone-i-need-to/) [Randy Glasbergen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/randy-glasbergen/) > [I can't be that kind of person others want me to be.I know I can't please everybody for just being me But I'm glad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nix/i-can-t-be-that-kind-of-person-others-want-me-to-be-i-know-i-can-t/) [Nix](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nix/) > [I don't care who you are,Where you from,As long as you love me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mks-vibz/i-don-t-care-who-you-are-where-you-from-as-long-as-you-love-me/) [Mks Vibz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mks-vibz/) [Browse all 2,963 Accept quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accept/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you're feeling intransigently ambivalent, it might pay to formally accept what's already happening - that is, decide not to decide.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Martha Beck" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/if-you-re-feeling-intransigently-ambivalent-it-might-pay-to-formally/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Accept" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/if-you-re-feeling-intransigently-ambivalent-it-might-pay-to-formally/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecb/martha-beck-961_accept_if-you-re-feeling-intransigently-ambival_2511235.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecb/martha-beck-961_accept_if-you-re-feeling-intransigently-ambival_2511235.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecb/martha-beck-961_accept_if-you-re-feeling-intransigently-ambival_2511235.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you're feeling intransigently ambivalent, it might pay to formally accept what's already happening - that…” — Martha Beck", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Martha Beck", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-beck/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "If you're feeling intransigently ambivalent, it...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/if-you-re-feeling-intransigently-ambivalent-it-might-pay-to-formally/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-beck/if-you-re-feeling-intransigently-ambivalent-it-might-pay-to-formally/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```