--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If we can stop, listen, and think about…" description: "\"If we can stop, listen, and think about what others are seeing in us, we have a great opportunity. We can compare the self that we want to be with the ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c8/marshall-goldsmith-6918_behavior_if-we-can-stop-listen-and-think-about-wh_2957539.jpg" --- # If we can stop, listen, and think about what others are… ![“If we can stop, listen, and think about what others are seeing in us, we have a great opportunity. We can compare the self that we want to be with the self that we are presenting to the rest of the world. We can then begin to make the real changes that are needed to close the gap between our…” quote by Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c8/marshall-goldsmith-6918_behavior_if-we-can-stop-listen-and-think-about-wh_2957539.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c8/marshall-goldsmith-6918_behavior_if-we-can-stop-listen-and-think-about-wh_2957539.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c8/marshall-goldsmith-6918_behavior_if-we-can-stop-listen-and-think-about-wh_2957539.jpg) > “If we can stop, listen, and think about what others are seeing in us, we have a great opportunity. We can compare the self that we want to be with the self that we are presenting to the rest of the world. We can then begin to make the real changes that are needed to close the gap between our stated values and our actual behavior.” [Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote encourages self‑observation and feedback to align one's public persona with inner values, prompting intentional change. **In simple terms:** Observe yourself, compare values to actions, and adjust. Key Takeaway Align behavior with core values. Themes self‑awareness growth integrity Mood reflective motivational Type self‑help leadership When to use this quote - coaching sessions - performance reviews - personal journaling - team meetings Key Concepts feedback loops personal branding behavioral change Questions to Reflect On - What gaps exist between your values and actions? - How will you close those gaps? A Different Perspective It may underestimate resistance to change. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Behavior](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/behavior/) [Habits](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/habits/) [Identity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/identity/) [Opportunity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/opportunity/) [Real change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real-change/) [Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self/) [Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/) [Values](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/values/) [World](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/world/) ## Related quotes > [“Do not compare the self of this moment against one from the past, for the you of yesterday is as done and gone as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-j-bailey/do-not-compare-the-self-of-this-moment-against-one-from-the-past-for/) [Joseph J. Bailey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-j-bailey/) > [I compare myself with my former self, not with others. Not only that, I tend to compare my current self with the best I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/i-compare-myself-with-my-former-self-not-with-others-not-only-that-i/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) > [If you're lazy, you compare your self with the worst. If you're hard working, you compare your self with the best. If you're happy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-re-lazy-you-compare-your-self-with-the-worst-if-you-re-hard/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [No matter how much you want to be self-sufficient and alone, there is a natural human impulse to need something more than that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-e-steinberg/no-matter-how-much-you-want-to-be-self-sufficient-and-alone-there-is/) Jonathan E. Steinberg > [“A self-made man" - not of woman born but alchemized, through sheer force of will, by the man himself. This is what I want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caitlin-moran/a-self-made-man-not-of-woman-born-but-alchemized-through-sheer-force/) [Caitlin Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caitlin-moran/) > [The only competition I actually want is with my own self, and for me, work comes above all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-massey/the-only-competition-i-actually-want-is-with-my-own-self-and-for-me/) [Vikrant Massey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-massey/) > [When you take on a character you try and lose yourself into it because you want to be less self-conscious.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adrian-lester/when-you-take-on-a-character-you-try-and-lose-yourself-into-it/) [Adrian Lester](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adrian-lester/) > [People around the world just want self-respect. They want to take care of themselves, they want to pay for their own bills, they want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-roy/people-around-the-world-just-want-self-respect-they-want-to-take-care/) [Rachel Roy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-roy/) > [“If someone doesn’t want you, the only self-respecting thing to do is to let them go”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tarryn-fisher/if-someone-doesn-t-want-you-the-only-self-respecting-thing-to-do-is/) [Tarryn Fisher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tarryn-fisher/) > [It isn't difficult to leave King Lear or Macbeth, but once you have gone back to yourself, you want it to be the same…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-scofield/it-isn-t-difficult-to-leave-king-lear-or-macbeth-but-once-you-have/) [Paul Scofield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-scofield/) > [Nobody can't wait for you, You have to want it for your self.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meicee/nobody-can-t-wait-for-you-you-have-to-want-it-for-your-self/) Meicee > [“To fall in love successfully, you don’t want too much self-awareness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-dean-shulman/to-fall-in-love-successfully-you-don-t-want-too-much-self-awareness/) David Dean Shulman > [I want to be self-made and leave a mark.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ronnie-radke/i-want-to-be-self-made-and-leave-a-mark/) [Ronnie Radke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ronnie-radke/) > [“If you want self-esteem.” “Do estimable acts” ~ V, from A Piece of Cake: Memoir”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cupcake-brown/if-you-want-self-esteem-do-estimable-acts-v-from-a-piece-of-cake/) [Cupcake Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cupcake-brown/) > [I want to be as self-reliant as possible and do it all from within.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karch-kiraly/i-want-to-be-as-self-reliant-as-possible-and-do-it-all-from-within/) [Karch Kiraly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karch-kiraly/) ## More by Marshall Goldsmith > [Our inner beliefs trigger failure before it happens. They sabotage lasting change by canceling its possibility. We employ these beliefs as articles of faith…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-goldsmith/our-inner-beliefs-trigger-failure-before-it-happens-they-sabotage/) [Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) > [If the CEO is not going to give you a fair chance, you're probably not going to win.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-goldsmith/if-the-ceo-is-not-going-to-give-you-a-fair-chance-you-re-probably-not/) [Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) > [Never confuse acquiring degrees with wisdom.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-goldsmith/never-confuse-acquiring-degrees-with-wisdom/) [Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) > [Change is not a one-way street- it involves two parties: the person who is changing and the people who notice it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-goldsmith/change-is-not-a-one-way-street-it-involves-two-parties-the-person-who/) [Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) > [Active questions are the alternative to passive questions. There is a huge difference between, 'Do you have clear goals?' and 'Did you do your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-goldsmith/active-questions-are-the-alternative-to-passive-questions-there-is-a/) [Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) > [We deify willpower and self-control - and mock its absence. People who achieve through remarkable willpower are 'strong' and 'heroic.' 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If you want everyone else to be passionate,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-goldsmith/one-of-the-most-important-actions-things-a-leader-can-do-is-to-lead/) [Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) > [Almost everyone I meet is successful because of doing a lot of things right, and almost everyone I meet is successful in spite of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-goldsmith/almost-everyone-i-meet-is-successful-because-of-doing-a-lot-of-things/) [Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) > [In our world, we have this huge focus on vicarious living - politicians, movie stars, athletes, coaches, all these people. What our research has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-goldsmith/in-our-world-we-have-this-huge-focus-on-vicarious-living-politicians/) [Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) > [It's not appropriate to pass judgment when we specifically ask people to voice their opinions... even if you ask a question and agree with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-goldsmith/it-s-not-appropriate-to-pass-judgment-when-we-specifically-ask-people/) [Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) > [The only thing I don't think people don't understand about good leaders is that they're both good and lucky. A lot of it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-goldsmith/the-only-thing-i-don-t-think-people-don-t-understand-about-good/) [Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) > [As I've gotten older, I've gotten simpler - my level of aspiration has actually gone down and down. But my level of impact has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-goldsmith/as-i-ve-gotten-older-i-ve-gotten-simpler-my-level-of-aspiration-has/) [Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) > [The more we are committed to believing that something is true, the less likely we are to believe that its opposite is true, even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-goldsmith/the-more-we-are-committed-to-believing-that-something-is-true-the/) [Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) > [The people I coach are very successful people, so it's very hard for winners to not constantly win. Even if it's trivial and not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-goldsmith/the-people-i-coach-are-very-successful-people-so-it-s-very-hard-for/) [Marshall Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) [Explore all 96 Marshall Goldsmith quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-goldsmith/) ## More Behavior quotes > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [By making conscious choices in our behavior and where we focus our attention, we can transform our experience of our body, decrease our biological…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/by-making-conscious-choices-in-our-behavior-and-where-we-focus-our/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [As you begin changing your thinking, start immediately to change your behaviour. Begin to act the part of the person you would like to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/as-you-begin-changing-your-thinking-start-immediately-to-change-your/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“I now know that deep within the human concept is something dark, selfish, and completely willing to do whatever is necessary to support the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-west/i-now-know-that-deep-within-the-human-concept-is-something-dark/) [Melissa West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-west/) > [“We are endowed with genes which code out our reaction to beavers and otters, maybe our reaction to each other as well. We are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-thomas/we-are-endowed-with-genes-which-code-out-our-reaction-to-beavers-and/) [Lewis Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-thomas/) > [The number of poor, and poorly prepared, students who succeed in college and beyond undercuts the simplistic notion that economic or educational disadvantage is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roland-merullo/the-number-of-poor-and-poorly-prepared-students-who-succeed-in/) [Roland Merullo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roland-merullo/) > [To behave creatively in art means behavior with skill; and skill comes from discipline, not derangement. The artist who knows the rules -and proportion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/burne-hogarth/to-behave-creatively-in-art-means-behavior-with-skill-and-skill-comes/) Burne Hogarth > [You don't put milk in chamomile tea - that's disgusting behavior! That's not right.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-fraser/you-don-t-put-milk-in-chamomile-tea-that-s-disgusting-behavior-that-s/) [Laura Fraser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-fraser/) > [The laws of thermodynamics, as empirically determined, express the approximate and probable behavior of systems of a great number of particles, or, more precisely,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-willard-gibbs/the-laws-of-thermodynamics-as-empirically-determined-express-the/) J. Willard Gibbs > [I started with the belief that every person who came to the laboratory was free to accept or to reject the dictates of authority.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stanley-milgram/i-started-with-the-belief-that-every-person-who-came-to-the/) [Stanley Milgram](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stanley-milgram/) > [The tipping point is that magic moment when an idea, trend, or social behavior crosses a threshold, tips, and spreads like wildfire.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malcolm-gladwell/the-tipping-point-is-that-magic-moment-when-an-idea-trend-or-social/) [Malcolm Gladwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malcolm-gladwell/) > [I think we've told a lot of lies about human behavior through film.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-arquette/i-think-we-ve-told-a-lot-of-lies-about-human-behavior-through-film/) [Patricia Arquette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-arquette/) > [The strongest rebellion may be expressed in quiet, undramatic behavior.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-spock/the-strongest-rebellion-may-be-expressed-in-quiet-undramatic-behavior/) [Benjamin Spock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-spock/) > [The behavior of any bureaucratic organization can best be understood by assuming that it is controlled by a secret cabal of its enemies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-conquest/the-behavior-of-any-bureaucratic-organization-can-best-be-understood/) [Robert Conquest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-conquest/) > [If you want good behavior, don't pay on a commission basis. 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