--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: This objective of getting what we want…" description: "\"This objective of getting what we want from other people-or getting them to do what we want them to do-threatens the autonomy of people, their right to..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/415/marshall-b-rosenberg-1145_asking_this-objective-of-getting-what-we-want-f_384205.jpg" --- # This objective of getting what we want from other… ![“This objective of getting what we want from other people-or getting them to do what we want them to do-threatens the autonomy of people, their right to choose what they want to do. And whenever people feel that they're not free to choose what they want to do, they are likely to resist, even if…” quote by Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/415/marshall-b-rosenberg-1145_asking_this-objective-of-getting-what-we-want-f_384205.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/415/marshall-b-rosenberg-1145_asking_this-objective-of-getting-what-we-want-f_384205.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/415/marshall-b-rosenberg-1145_asking_this-objective-of-getting-what-we-want-f_384205.jpg) > “This objective of getting what we want from other people-or getting them to do what we want them to do-threatens the autonomy of people, their right to choose what they want to do. And whenever people feel that they're not free to choose what they want to do, they are likely to resist, even if they see the purpose in what we are asking and would ordinarily want to do it.” [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Attempting to control others undermines their autonomy, leading to resistance even when goals align. **In simple terms:** Control breeds resistance. Key Takeaway Respect autonomy to foster cooperation. Themes autonomy control resistance communication Mood empathetic strategic Type ethical communication When to use this quote - team leadership - negotiation - education - parenting Key Concepts psychology ethics influence Questions to Reflect On - How can you ask for cooperation without imposing? - What alternatives respect others' choices? A Different Perspective People may still resist if they sense manipulation. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Asking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asking/) [Autonomy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/autonomy/) [Autonomy People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/autonomy-people-298455/) [Feels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/) [Freedom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/freedom/) [Goals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/goals/) [Ifs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/) [Objectives](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/objectives/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Purpose](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/purpose/) [Purpose Asking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/purpose-asking-2016726/) [Resist Purpose](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resist-purpose-3479499/) [Threatens Autonomy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/threatens-autonomy-3479497/) [Want](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/want/) [Want Threatens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/want-threatens-3479498/) ## Related quotes > [“It comes down to the deep and universal human need for autonomy. People need to feel in control. When you preserve a person’s autonomy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-voss/it-comes-down-to-the-deep-and-universal-human-need-for-autonomy/) [Chris Voss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-voss/) > [I think the whole experience of being a human being on the planet is such a mystery, to be honest. Trying to figure out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-lennox/i-think-the-whole-experience-of-being-a-human-being-on-the-planet-is/) [Annie Lennox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annie-lennox/) > [“It is not for you to determine your purpose, the reason for your existence. You discover your purpose by asking the Creator why he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pedro-okoro/it-is-not-for-you-to-determine-your-purpose-the-reason-for-your/) [Pedro Okoro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pedro-okoro/) > [“For if you should enter the temple for no other purpose than asking you shall not receive:”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kahlil-gibran/for-if-you-should-enter-the-temple-for-no-other-purpose-than-asking/) [Kahlil Gibran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kahlil-gibran/) > [Teacher, school administrators and parents will come away from Life-Enriching Education with skills in language, communication, and ways of structuring the learning environment that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/teacher-school-administrators-and-parents-will-come-away-from-life/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [The Palestinian Arabs will have their autonomy, we will have our security. We shall live together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/menachem-begin/the-palestinian-arabs-will-have-their-autonomy-we-will-have-our/) [Menachem Begin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/menachem-begin/) > [“She isn't anybody's,' Rook said darkly. 'Son. she's not yours, either," Sarah Fleet said.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaida-jones/she-isn-t-anybody-s-rook-said-darkly-son-she-s-not-yours-either-sarah/) [Jaida Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaida-jones/) > [We could encourage the best qualities of youthfulness - curiosity, adventure, resilience, the capacity for surprising insight simply by being more flexible about time,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-taylor-gatto/we-could-encourage-the-best-qualities-of-youthfulness-curiosity/) [John Taylor Gatto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-taylor-gatto/) > [Throughout the last century there were multiple attempts at giving Afghan women more autonomy, to change marriage laws, to abolish the practice of bride…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/khaled-hosseini/throughout-the-last-century-there-were-multiple-attempts-at-giving/) [Khaled Hosseini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/khaled-hosseini/) > [“Father had stretched out his long legs and was tilting back in his chair. Mother sat with her knees crossed, in blue slacks, smoking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-dillard/father-had-stretched-out-his-long-legs-and-was-tilting-back-in-his/) [Annie Dillard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annie-dillard/) > [Autonomy is impossible as long as one is driven by anything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/autonomy-is-impossible-as-long-as-one-is-driven-by-anything/) [Gabor Mate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [The first step toward maintaining autonomy in any programmed environment is to be aware that there's programming going on. It's as simple as understanding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-rushkoff/the-first-step-toward-maintaining-autonomy-in-any-programmed/) [Douglas Rushkoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-rushkoff/) > [It’s hard to feel attracted to someone who has abandoned her sense of autonomy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/it-s-hard-to-feel-attracted-to-someone-who-has-abandoned-her-sense-of/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“The idea of autonomy denies that we are born into a world that existed prior to us. It posits an essential aloneness; an autonomous…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-b-crawford/the-idea-of-autonomy-denies-that-we-are-born-into-a-world-that/) [Matthew B. Crawford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-b-crawford/) > [I don't want to be famous famous. I'm happy on the second tier, where I have autonomy on a professional level but I can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-reece/i-don-t-want-to-be-famous-famous-i-m-happy-on-the-second-tier-where-i/) [Gabrielle Reece](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-reece/) ## More by Marshall B. Rosenberg > [When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/when-you-need-empathy-you-cannot-give-empathy/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/understanding-the-other-persons-needs-does-not-mean-you-have-to-give/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/plans-to-exact-retribution-are-never-going-to-make-us-safer/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [NVC gives us tools and understanding to create a more peaceful state of mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/nvc-gives-us-tools-and-understanding-to-create-a-more-peaceful-state/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [What I want in my life is compassion a flow between myself and others based on mutual giving from the heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/what-i-want-in-my-life-is-compassion-a-flow-between-myself-and-others/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/analyses-of-others-are-actually-expressions-of-our-own-needs-and/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Staying with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/staying-with-empathy-we-allow-speakers-to-touch-deeper-levels-of/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Punishment is the root of violence on our planet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/punishment-is-the-root-of-violence-on-our-planet/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/often-instead-of-offering-empathy-we-have-a-strong-urge-to-give/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/nvc-is-founded-on-language-and-communication-skills-that-strengthen/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Ask before offering advice or reassurance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/ask-before-offering-advice-or-reassurance/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [If you think ahead to what to say next - like how to fix it or make the person feel better - BOOM! Off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/if-you-think-ahead-to-what-to-say-next-like-how-to-fix-it-or-make-the/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Two questions help us see why we are unlikely to get what we want by using punishment... The first question is: What do I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/two-questions-help-us-see-why-we-are-unlikely-to-get-what-we-want-by/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/praise-and-reward-create-a-system-of-extrinsic-motivations-for/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we'll see that we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/everything-we-do-is-in-service-of-our-needs-when-this-one-concept-is/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) [Explore all 283 Marshall B. Rosenberg quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) ## More Asking quotes > [Why did Erich von Stronheim leave Germany? Why did Hitchcock leave England? If you were a director you'd like to work in Hollywood too.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roman-polanski/why-did-erich-von-stronheim-leave-germany-why-did-hitchcock-leave/) [Roman Polanski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roman-polanski/) > [And in your new lives you'll have to live entirely for that one sensation-that of imminent truth. And you're going to have to holler…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-coupland/and-in-your-new-lives-you-ll-have-to-live-entirely-for-that-one/) [Douglas Coupland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-coupland/) > [“Stop asking yourself how or why and tell yourself you can." - Charmainism”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charmaine-smith-ladd/stop-asking-yourself-how-or-why-and-tell-yourself-you-can-charmainism/) [Charmaine Smith Ladd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charmaine-smith-ladd/) > [Closing his eyes, he sent up a prayer to anyone who was listening, asking please, for God's sake, stop sending him signals that they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-r-ward/closing-his-eyes-he-sent-up-a-prayer-to-anyone-who-was-listening/) [J.R. Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-r-ward/) > [People will identify with a persecuted minority without asking themselves what they are identifying with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hilary-mantel/people-will-identify-with-a-persecuted-minority-without-asking/) [Hilary Mantel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hilary-mantel/) > [If you're having a bad day already and everybody is just asking you petty questions, it drives people to the edge, or something really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jess-weixler/if-you-re-having-a-bad-day-already-and-everybody-is-just-asking-you/) [Jess Weixler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jess-weixler/) > [You never give away your heart; you lend it from time to time. If it were not so, how could we take it back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/you-never-give-away-your-heart-you-lend-it-from-time-to-time-if-it/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [I'm not asking people to feel sorry for me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-abramoff/i-m-not-asking-people-to-feel-sorry-for-me/) [Jack Abramoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-abramoff/) > [The boldness of asking deep questions may require unforeseen flexibility if we are to accept the answers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-greene/the-boldness-of-asking-deep-questions-may-require-unforeseen/) [Brian Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-greene/) > [Use Google Before Asking A Stupid Question.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/muskaan/use-google-before-asking-a-stupid-question/) [Muskaan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/muskaan/) > [There were people asking 'Can women be funny?' People still ask that. It's like asking: 'Can women breathe in and out?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-walters/there-were-people-asking-can-women-be-funny-people-still-ask-that-it/) [Julie Walters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-walters/) > [Whether that's speaking up in your job or asking for a promotion or saying, 'I think I can do that.' Using your voice in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-shriver/whether-that-s-speaking-up-in-your-job-or-asking-for-a-promotion-or/) [Maria Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-shriver/) > [Love cannot be had for the asking; it comes only as a gift from the heart of another](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paramahansa-yogananda/love-cannot-be-had-for-the-asking-it-comes-only-as-a-gift-from-the/) [Paramahansa Yogananda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paramahansa-yogananda/) > [The Baseball Hall of Fame is something every player dreams about, but being a member of God's Hall of Fame is the greatest achievement…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-carter/the-baseball-hall-of-fame-is-something-every-player-dreams-about-but/) [Gary Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-carter/) > [“In such a regime, I say you died a good death if your life had inspired someone to come forward and shoot your murdered…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chinua-achebe/in-such-a-regime-i-say-you-died-a-good-death-if-your-life-had/) [Chinua Achebe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chinua-achebe/) [Browse all 3,313 Asking quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asking/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "This objective of getting what we want from other people-or getting them to do what we want them to do-threatens the autonomy of people, their right to choose what they want to do. 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