--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Never connect yourself with the other…" description: "\"Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.\" — Marshall B. ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f95/marshall-b-rosenberg-1145_communication_never-connect-yourself-with-the-other-pe_2033286.png" --- # Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just… ![“Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.” quote by Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f95/marshall-b-rosenberg-1145_communication_never-connect-yourself-with-the-other-pe_2033286.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f95/marshall-b-rosenberg-1145_communication_never-connect-yourself-with-the-other-pe_2033286.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f95/marshall-b-rosenberg-1145_communication_never-connect-yourself-with-the-other-pe_2033286.png) > “Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.” [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Empathy requires separating your own emotions from another's, allowing you to listen to their needs without personal entanglement. **In simple terms:** Listen without mixing your feelings with theirs. Key Takeaway Focus on the other person's need, not your reaction. Themes empathy communication boundaries Mood compassionate reflective Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - counseling sessions - conflict resolution - relationship counseling Key Concepts nonviolent communication active listening Questions to Reflect On - How can you stay present for others while honoring your own emotions? - What boundaries help you listen clearly? A Different Perspective May overlook your own feelings if you detach too much. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Communication](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communication/) [Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Nonviolent communication](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nonviolent-communication/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) ## Related quotes > [When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/when-we-are-in-contact-with-our-feelings-and-needs-we-humans-no/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/when-we-listen-for-their-feelings-and-needs-we-no-longer-see-people/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/in-nvc-no-matter-what-words-others-may-use-to-express-themselves-we/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [To be able to hear our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/to-be-able-to-hear-our-own-feelings-and-needs-and-to-empathize-with/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [I recommend allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before turning our attention to solutions or requests for relief. When we proceed too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/i-recommend-allowing-others-the-opportunity-to-fully-express/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Empathy gives you the ability to enjoy another person's pain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/empathy-gives-you-the-ability-to-enjoy-another-person-s-pain/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Have you ever been surfing? Imagine you're on your surfboard now, waiting for the big one to come. Get ready to get carried with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/have-you-ever-been-surfing-imagine-you-re-on-your-surfboard-now/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [A prerequisite to empathy is simply paying attention to the person in pain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-goleman/a-prerequisite-to-empathy-is-simply-paying-attention-to-the-person-in/) [Daniel Goleman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-goleman/) > [“The joy of seeing another person in pain, frustrated or angry is a delicacy only for the most wicked.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-sacredfire/the-joy-of-seeing-another-person-in-pain-frustrated-or-angry-is-a/) [Robin Sacredfire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-sacredfire/) > [Every successfully person have a pain story](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/every-successfully-person-have-a-pain-story/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Healthy people wish a 1000 things, a person in pain has only 1 wish.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naz/healthy-people-wish-a-1000-things-a-person-in-pain-has-only-1-wish/) [Naz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naz/) > [When I look at you I see the old me. A person in so much pain that they think they can never move on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/when-i-look-at-you-i-see-the-old-me-a-person-in-so-much-pain-that/) [Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/) > [How quickly a person in pain whom you can't help becomes a reproach. And then, no doubt, a thorn.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/how-quickly-a-person-in-pain-whom-you-can-t-help-becomes-a-reproach/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [The look he gave her made her turn away for a moment. Sometimes you couldn’t look too closely at another person’s pain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-look-he-gave-her-made-her-turn-away-for-a-moment-sometimes-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [One of the hardest things we must do sometimes is to be present to another person's pain without trying to "fix" it, to simply…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/parker-j-palmer/one-of-the-hardest-things-we-must-do-sometimes-is-to-be-present-to/) [Parker J. Palmer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/parker-j-palmer/) ## More by Marshall B. Rosenberg > [When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/when-you-need-empathy-you-cannot-give-empathy/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/understanding-the-other-persons-needs-does-not-mean-you-have-to-give/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/plans-to-exact-retribution-are-never-going-to-make-us-safer/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [NVC gives us tools and understanding to create a more peaceful state of mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/nvc-gives-us-tools-and-understanding-to-create-a-more-peaceful-state/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [What I want in my life is compassion a flow between myself and others based on mutual giving from the heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/what-i-want-in-my-life-is-compassion-a-flow-between-myself-and-others/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/analyses-of-others-are-actually-expressions-of-our-own-needs-and/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Staying with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/staying-with-empathy-we-allow-speakers-to-touch-deeper-levels-of/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Punishment is the root of violence on our planet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/punishment-is-the-root-of-violence-on-our-planet/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/often-instead-of-offering-empathy-we-have-a-strong-urge-to-give/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/nvc-is-founded-on-language-and-communication-skills-that-strengthen/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Ask before offering advice or reassurance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/ask-before-offering-advice-or-reassurance/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [If you think ahead to what to say next - like how to fix it or make the person feel better - BOOM! Off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/if-you-think-ahead-to-what-to-say-next-like-how-to-fix-it-or-make-the/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Two questions help us see why we are unlikely to get what we want by using punishment... The first question is: What do I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/two-questions-help-us-see-why-we-are-unlikely-to-get-what-we-want-by/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/praise-and-reward-create-a-system-of-extrinsic-motivations-for/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we'll see that we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/everything-we-do-is-in-service-of-our-needs-when-this-one-concept-is/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) [Explore all 283 Marshall B. Rosenberg quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) ## More Communication quotes > [Some people still believe you should just fall in line with what's going on - and that's scary. 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Smashing heads does not open minds.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/in-dialogue-there-is-opposition-yes-but-no-head-on-collision-smashing/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [A dialogue is very important. It is a form of communication in which question and answer continue till a question is left without an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jiddu-krishnamurti/a-dialogue-is-very-important-it-is-a-form-of-communication-in-which/) [Jiddu Krishnamurti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jiddu-krishnamurti/) > [I get afraid of the dark if I'm in a great deal of dark, and I have to move around inside of that fear...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emil-ferris/i-get-afraid-of-the-dark-if-i-m-in-a-great-deal-of-dark-and-i-have-to/) [Emil Ferris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emil-ferris/) > [I've been in a serious conversation with one of my children, and a fan has come up. 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