--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Empathize, rather than put your \"but\" in…" description: "\"Empathize, rather than put your \"but\" in the face of an angry person.\" — Marshall B. Rosenberg" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9dd/marshall-b-rosenberg-1145_anger_empathize-rather-than-put-your-but-in-th_3099736.png" --- # Empathize, rather than put your "but" in the face of an… ![“Empathize, rather than put your "but" in the face of an angry person.” quote by Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9dd/marshall-b-rosenberg-1145_anger_empathize-rather-than-put-your-but-in-th_3099736.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9dd/marshall-b-rosenberg-1145_anger_empathize-rather-than-put-your-but-in-th_3099736.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9dd/marshall-b-rosenberg-1145_anger_empathize-rather-than-put-your-but-in-th_3099736.png) > “Empathize, rather than put your "but" in the face of an angry person.” [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Instead of dismissing anger with a "but," empathize to understand the underlying feelings and needs. **In simple terms:** Empathize, don’t dismiss. Key Takeaway Listen with empathy. Themes communication empathy conflict resolution Mood calm constructive Type practical educational When to use this quote - customer service - family disputes - team meetings Key Concepts Psychology active listening Questions to Reflect On - What needs are behind the anger? - How can empathy change the outcome? A Different Perspective Empathy may not resolve all conflicts quickly. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Anger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) [Angry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/angry/) [Angry person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/angry-person/) [Communication](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communication/) [Faces](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/faces/) [Nonviolent communication](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nonviolent-communication/) ## Related quotes > [Empathize with silence by listening for the feelings and needs behind it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/empathize-with-silence-by-listening-for-the-feelings-and-needs-behind/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [The 50s face was angry, the 60s face was well-fed, the 70s face was foxy. Perhaps it was the right expression: there was a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/keith-waterhouse/the-50s-face-was-angry-the-60s-face-was-well-fed-the-70s-face-was/) [Keith Waterhouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/keith-waterhouse/) > [If ever I expected to come face to face with an angry Christian fundamentalist, it wasn't in FAO Schwarz.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-k-rowling-2/if-ever-i-expected-to-come-face-to-face-with-an-angry-christian/) [J. K. Rowling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-k-rowling-2/) > [Mind your own business in the face of angry people. You owe them nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/mind-your-own-business-in-the-face-of-angry-people-you-owe-them/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“No, she doesn't look like she's from anywhere near Central, does she? You a dirt-muncher too, newbie, fresh off the farm? Or are you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lara-morgan/no-she-doesn-t-look-like-she-s-from-anywhere-near-central-does-she/) [Lara Morgan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lara-morgan/) > [“She took his length gently between her hands, her arms resting on his thighs, and looked up into his face. “I’m very, very angry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-hoyt/she-took-his-length-gently-between-her-hands-her-arms-resting-on-his/) [Elizabeth Hoyt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-hoyt/) > [“You look like you could splatter someone against a wall.” He raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t been making a face. “When you get angry,”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-j-maas/you-look-like-you-could-splatter-someone-against-a-wall-he-raised-an/) [Sarah J. Maas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-j-maas/) > [“Many small businesses would rather face an angry barbarian horde than tackle their cash flow statement or price a new product.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-fende/many-small-businesses-would-rather-face-an-angry-barbarian-horde-than/) Nicole Fende > [The more we empathize with the other party, the safer we feel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/the-more-we-empathize-with-the-other-party-the-safer-we-feel/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [It may be most difficult to empathize with those we are closest to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/it-may-be-most-difficult-to-empathize-with-those-we-are-closest-to/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [The best way I can get understanding from another person is to give this person the understanding, too. If I want them to hear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/the-best-way-i-can-get-understanding-from-another-person-is-to-give/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/if-the-other-persons-behavior-is-not-in-harmony-with-my-own-needs-the/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [It's harder to empathize with those who appear to possess more power, status, or resources.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/it-s-harder-to-empathize-with-those-who-appear-to-possess-more-power/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/understanding-the-other-persons-needs-does-not-mean-you-have-to-give/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/when-you-need-empathy-you-cannot-give-empathy/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) ## More by Marshall B. Rosenberg > [When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/when-you-need-empathy-you-cannot-give-empathy/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/understanding-the-other-persons-needs-does-not-mean-you-have-to-give/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/plans-to-exact-retribution-are-never-going-to-make-us-safer/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [NVC gives us tools and understanding to create a more peaceful state of mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/nvc-gives-us-tools-and-understanding-to-create-a-more-peaceful-state/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [What I want in my life is compassion a flow between myself and others based on mutual giving from the heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/what-i-want-in-my-life-is-compassion-a-flow-between-myself-and-others/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/analyses-of-others-are-actually-expressions-of-our-own-needs-and/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Staying with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of themselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/staying-with-empathy-we-allow-speakers-to-touch-deeper-levels-of/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Punishment is the root of violence on our planet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/punishment-is-the-root-of-violence-on-our-planet/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/often-instead-of-offering-empathy-we-have-a-strong-urge-to-give/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/nvc-is-founded-on-language-and-communication-skills-that-strengthen/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Ask before offering advice or reassurance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/ask-before-offering-advice-or-reassurance/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [If you think ahead to what to say next - like how to fix it or make the person feel better - BOOM! Off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/if-you-think-ahead-to-what-to-say-next-like-how-to-fix-it-or-make-the/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Two questions help us see why we are unlikely to get what we want by using punishment... The first question is: What do I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/two-questions-help-us-see-why-we-are-unlikely-to-get-what-we-want-by/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/praise-and-reward-create-a-system-of-extrinsic-motivations-for/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we'll see that we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/everything-we-do-is-in-service-of-our-needs-when-this-one-concept-is/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) [Explore all 283 Marshall B. Rosenberg quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) ## More Anger quotes > [“If I let myself think of it the pain and anger were still fresh, adrenalin racing down my limbs to pool, hot and itchy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kylie-ladd/if-i-let-myself-think-of-it-the-pain-and-anger-were-still-fresh/) [Kylie Ladd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kylie-ladd/) > [I receive something we might euphemistically call an 'inappropriately hostile' response - that is to say, more than fair criticism or even fair anger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-beard/i-receive-something-we-might-euphemistically-call-an-inappropriately/) [Mary Beard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-beard/) > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [Anger is a rough water; if you can canalize it into a water mill, you can benefit from it. Anything bad can be transformed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/anger-is-a-rough-water-if-you-can-canalize-it-into-a-water-mill-you/) [Mehmet Murat Ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [“Some say the Earth is angry Because he wants no company; I say the Earth is angry Because he lives alone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-k-jemisin/some-say-the-earth-is-angry-because-he-wants-no-company-i-say-the/) [N.K. Jemisin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-k-jemisin/) > [“When you feel terribly angry, you're possessed by anger ghost.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/when-you-feel-terribly-angry-you-re-possessed-by-anger-ghost/) [Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/) > [“Medical studies have shown that cursing reduces levels of stress and pain. Repressing your anger is not healthy. It's much better to verbalize it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/medical-studies-have-shown-that-cursing-reduces-levels-of-stress-and/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [My care will be in the heart n not in words My anger will be in Words n not in the Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/my-care-will-be-in-the-heart-n-not-in-words-my-anger-will-be-in-words/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/you-should-be-angry-you-must-not-be-bitter-bitterness-is-like-cancer/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-be-a-negro-in-this-country-and-to-be-relatively-conscious-is-to-be/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/god-you-had-enough-time-to-have-been-through-it-three-times-you-ve/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) > [The present contains nothing more than the past, and what is found in the effect was already in the cause.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-bergson/the-present-contains-nothing-more-than-the-past-and-what-is-found-in/) [Henri Bergson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-bergson/) > [Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/depression-is-merely-anger-without-enthusiasm/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I always fight better when my opponent's angry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-haye/i-always-fight-better-when-my-opponent-s-angry/) [David Haye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-haye/) > [ “Where there are kashays (anger-pride-deceit-greed), there is worldly life. As long as anger-pride-deceit-greed exist; one is a sansaari \[living a worldly life\] regardless of… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dada-bhagwan/where-there-are-kashays-anger-pride-deceit-greed-there-is-worldly/) [Dada Bhagwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dada-bhagwan/) [Browse all 7,469 Anger quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Empathize, rather than put your \"but\" in the face of an angry person.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Marshall B. 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