---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The months of being disingenuously…"
description: "\"“The months of being disingenuously friendly and the resulting self-hatred taught me that self-confidence cannot be based on the approval of others.”\" ..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdc/mark-twight-20970_approval-of-others_the-months-of-being-disingenuously-frien_1402199.jpg"
---

#  The months of being disingenuously friendly and the…

![“The months of being disingenuously friendly and the resulting self-hatred taught me that self-confidence cannot be based on the approval of others.” quote by Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdc/mark-twight-20970_approval-of-others_the-months-of-being-disingenuously-frien_1402199.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdc/mark-twight-20970_approval-of-others_the-months-of-being-disingenuously-frien_1402199.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdc/mark-twight-20970_approval-of-others_the-months-of-being-disingenuously-frien_1402199.jpg)

> ““The months of being disingenuously friendly and the resulting self-hatred taught me that self-confidence cannot be based on the approval of others.””

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Fake friendliness leads to self-hatred; true confidence must come from within, not others' approval.

**In simple terms:** Confidence should be self‑derived.

Key Takeaway

Build inner confidence, not rely on approval.

Themes

self‑esteem authenticity personal growth

Mood

reflective empowering

Type

philosophical self‑help

When to use this quote

- therapy
- personal coaching
- team dynamics
- leadership development

Key Concepts

psychology self‑acceptance social validation

Questions to Reflect On

- How can you measure internal confidence?
- What steps foster self‑approval?

A Different Perspective

External validation can be fleeting and unreliable.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Approval of others](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/approval-of-others/) [Confidence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/confidence/) [Identity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/identity/) [Self confidence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-confidence/)

## Related quotes

> [Israel, Palestine, if you're going to make it, that probably is the hardest deal there is to make. People are born with hatred, they're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-trump/israel-palestine-if-you-re-going-to-make-it-that-probably-is-the/)

[Donald Trump](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-trump/)

> [Its hard to simultaneously hold onto self-hatred when youre actively engaged in acts of charity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/senoraroy/its-hard-to-simultaneously-hold-onto-self-hatred-when-youre-actively/)

Senoraroy

> [Happiness means loving yourself and being less concerned with the approval of others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karina-barton/happiness-means-loving-yourself-and-being-less-concerned-with-the/)

[Karina Barton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karina-barton/)

> [“Too many people base their worth and value on what other people think of them. They worry if others like them, approve of them,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joel-osteen/too-many-people-base-their-worth-and-value-on-what-other-people-think/)

[Joel Osteen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joel-osteen/)

> [Seeking approval of others is away to avoid how deeply we disapprove of ourselves](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/seeking-approval-of-others-is-away-to-avoid-how-deeply-we-disapprove/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“A balanced inner calmness radiates from a peaceful centre. It neither craves others' approval nor rejects others' presence. It neither pulls towards nor pushes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-goddard/a-balanced-inner-calmness-radiates-from-a-peaceful-centre-it-neither/)

[Donna Goddard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-goddard/)

> [“The dismal fact is that self-respect has nothing to do with the approval of others — who are, after all, deceived easily enough; has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/the-dismal-fact-is-that-self-respect-has-nothing-to-do-with-the/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [Embrace fanaticism. Harness joie de vivre by pursuing insane interests, consuming passions, and constant sources of gratification that do not depend on the approval…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-wurtzel/embrace-fanaticism-harness-joie-de-vivre-by-pursuing-insane-interests/)

[Elizabeth Wurtzel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-wurtzel/)

> [“My thoughts are my own—I will not modify them to receive the approval of others. My feelings are my own—I will not silence them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-lynn-reilly/my-thoughts-are-my-own-i-will-not-modify-them-to-receive-the-approval/)

[Patricia Lynn Reilly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-lynn-reilly/)

> [“It seemed so natural, receiving it, watching others receive it, assuming that the approval of others determined our worth. Then one day we found…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lee-goff/it-seemed-so-natural-receiving-it-watching-others-receive-it-assuming/)

[Lee Goff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lee-goff/)

> [Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/self-approval-is-acquired-mainly-from-the-approval-of-other-people/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [No effective guidance will ever be achieved by seeking approval of others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/no-effective-guidance-will-ever-be-achieved-by-seeking-approval-of/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [A man doesn't require the approval of others. He's willing to follow his heart wherever it leads him. When a man is following his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-pavlina/a-man-doesn-t-require-the-approval-of-others-he-s-willing-to-follow/)

[Steve Pavlina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-pavlina/)

> [Lord help me to work on giving, praying and fasting without seeking approval of others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/lord-help-me-to-work-on-giving-praying-and-fasting-without-seeking/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Some people lower their own self esteem simply by seeking approval of others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/some-people-lower-their-own-self-esteem-simply-by-seeking-approval-of/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

## More by Mark Twight

> [“There is risk, known and unknown, in all aspects of life. We often consider the loss of life the only serious risk. Unless we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/there-is-risk-known-and-unknown-in-all-aspects-of-life-we-often/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

> [Frostbite? I consider that a failure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/frostbite-i-consider-that-a-failure/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

> [Success can breed contempt, and a casual attitude toward danger.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/success-can-breed-contempt-and-a-casual-attitude-toward-danger/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

> [I don't actually care what I climb, only how it affects me. Which means the summit doesn't matter as much as the emotional process.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/i-don-t-actually-care-what-i-climb-only-how-it-affects-me-which-means/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

> [“Appearance is the consequence of fitness, and confidence is a consequence of capability.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/appearance-is-the-consequence-of-fitness-and-confidence-is-a/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

> [...and while ambition sleeps inside of me I content myself with memories of glitter and despair.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/and-while-ambition-sleeps-inside-of-me-i-content-myself-with-memories/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

> [The simple fact is this: when you goto Alaska, you get your ass kicked.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/the-simple-fact-is-this-when-you-goto-alaska-you-get-your-ass-kicked/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

> [Relish the challenge of overcoming difficulties that would crush ordinary men...learn to suffer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/relish-the-challenge-of-overcoming-difficulties-that-would-crush/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

> [I scavenged for sensation, sought myself in the rewards of being out there, across the Border.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/i-scavenged-for-sensation-sought-myself-in-the-rewards-of-being-out/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

> [It doesn't have to be fun to be fun.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/it-doesn-t-have-to-be-fun-to-be-fun/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

> [One hour three times per week in the gym is no counterbalance to all of the other behavior in those other 165 hours](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/one-hour-three-times-per-week-in-the-gym-is-no-counterbalance-to-all/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

> [Modern man is conditioned to expect instant gratification, but any success or triumph realized quickly, with only marginal effort, is necessarily shallow. Meaningful achievement…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/modern-man-is-conditioned-to-expect-instant-gratification-but-any/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

> [“I trained. I punished myself. I thought making myself suffer on a day-to-day basis would prepare me for climbing hard at high altitude. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/i-trained-i-punished-myself-i-thought-making-myself-suffer-on-a-day/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

> [“Memories and hope are not so different; one is "having done" the other is "to do." Neither constitutes action. You are what you do;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/memories-and-hope-are-not-so-different-one-is-having-done-the-other/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

> [“Live the lifestyle instead of paying lip service to the lifesytle. Live with commitment. With emotional content. Live whatever life you choose honestly. Give…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/live-the-lifestyle-instead-of-paying-lip-service-to-the-lifesytle/)

[Mark Twight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

[Explore all 30 Mark Twight quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/)

## More Approval of others quotes

> [Some people lower their own self esteem simply by seeking approval of others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/some-people-lower-their-own-self-esteem-simply-by-seeking-approval-of/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Lord help me to work on giving, praying and fasting without seeking approval of others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/lord-help-me-to-work-on-giving-praying-and-fasting-without-seeking/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [A man doesn't require the approval of others. He's willing to follow his heart wherever it leads him. When a man is following his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-pavlina/a-man-doesn-t-require-the-approval-of-others-he-s-willing-to-follow/)

[Steve Pavlina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-pavlina/)

> [No effective guidance will ever be achieved by seeking approval of others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/no-effective-guidance-will-ever-be-achieved-by-seeking-approval-of/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/self-approval-is-acquired-mainly-from-the-approval-of-other-people/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

> [“It seemed so natural, receiving it, watching others receive it, assuming that the approval of others determined our worth. Then one day we found…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lee-goff/it-seemed-so-natural-receiving-it-watching-others-receive-it-assuming/)

[Lee Goff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lee-goff/)

> [“My thoughts are my own—I will not modify them to receive the approval of others. My feelings are my own—I will not silence them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-lynn-reilly/my-thoughts-are-my-own-i-will-not-modify-them-to-receive-the-approval/)

[Patricia Lynn Reilly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-lynn-reilly/)

> [Embrace fanaticism. Harness joie de vivre by pursuing insane interests, consuming passions, and constant sources of gratification that do not depend on the approval…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-wurtzel/embrace-fanaticism-harness-joie-de-vivre-by-pursuing-insane-interests/)

[Elizabeth Wurtzel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-wurtzel/)

> [“The dismal fact is that self-respect has nothing to do with the approval of others — who are, after all, deceived easily enough; has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/the-dismal-fact-is-that-self-respect-has-nothing-to-do-with-the/)

[Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/)

> [“A balanced inner calmness radiates from a peaceful centre. It neither craves others' approval nor rejects others' presence. It neither pulls towards nor pushes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-goddard/a-balanced-inner-calmness-radiates-from-a-peaceful-centre-it-neither/)

[Donna Goddard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-goddard/)

> [Seeking approval of others is away to avoid how deeply we disapprove of ourselves](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/seeking-approval-of-others-is-away-to-avoid-how-deeply-we-disapprove/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“Too many people base their worth and value on what other people think of them. They worry if others like them, approve of them,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joel-osteen/too-many-people-base-their-worth-and-value-on-what-other-people-think/)

[Joel Osteen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joel-osteen/)

> [Happiness means loving yourself and being less concerned with the approval of others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karina-barton/happiness-means-loving-yourself-and-being-less-concerned-with-the/)

[Karina Barton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karina-barton/)

> [“To be mad is to feel with excruciating intensity the sadness and joy of a time which has not arrived or has already been.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilynne-robinson/to-be-mad-is-to-feel-with-excruciating-intensity-the-sadness-and-joy/)

[Marilynne Robinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilynne-robinson/)

> [Funny how my world improved immediately when I stopped seeking approval of others and began approving of myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/funny-how-my-world-improved-immediately-when-i-stopped-seeking/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Browse all 97 Approval of others quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/approval-of-others/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“The months of being disingenuously friendly and the resulting self-hatred taught me that self-confidence cannot be based on the approval of others.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Mark Twight"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/the-months-of-being-disingenuously-friendly-and-the-resulting-self/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Approval of others"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/the-months-of-being-disingenuously-friendly-and-the-resulting-self/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdc/mark-twight-20970_approval-of-others_the-months-of-being-disingenuously-frien_1402199.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdc/mark-twight-20970_approval-of-others_the-months-of-being-disingenuously-frien_1402199.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdc/mark-twight-20970_approval-of-others_the-months-of-being-disingenuously-frien_1402199.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“The months of being disingenuously friendly and the resulting self-hatred taught me that self-confidence…” — Mark Twight",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Mark Twight",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twight/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“The months of being disingenuously friendly...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/the-months-of-being-disingenuously-friendly-and-the-resulting-self/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twight/the-months-of-being-disingenuously-friendly-and-the-resulting-self/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
