--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When you're actually talking over…" description: "\"When you're actually talking over someone, it's as if you're just pontificating and they're not even there. And their body language - they're trying to..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b6/mark-goulston-4177_audience_when-you-re-actually-talking-over-someon_571273.png" --- # When you're actually talking over someone, it's as if… ![“When you're actually talking over someone, it's as if you're just pontificating and they're not even there. And their body language - they're trying to get away from you. And if you're pontificating at an audience, and there's a break, the non-martyrs in the audience are not going to come back. I…” quote by Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b6/mark-goulston-4177_audience_when-you-re-actually-talking-over-someon_571273.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b6/mark-goulston-4177_audience_when-you-re-actually-talking-over-someon_571273.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b6/mark-goulston-4177_audience_when-you-re-actually-talking-over-someon_571273.png) > “When you're actually talking over someone, it's as if you're just pontificating and they're not even there. And their body language - they're trying to get away from you. And if you're pontificating at an audience, and there's a break, the non-martyrs in the audience are not going to come back. I mean, they just want to get away from you.” [Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Talking over others shows disrespect and alienates listeners, causing them to disengage and leave. **In simple terms:** Talking over people makes them feel ignored and want to leave. Key Takeaway Listen fully before speaking. Themes communication respect engagement Mood frustrated detached reflective Type advice observational psychological When to use this quote - meetings - public speaking - team discussions - customer service Key Concepts active listening social dynamics psychology Questions to Reflect On - How can you signal you value others' input? - What cues show someone feels unheard? A Different Perspective If the audience is already disengaged, listening may not restore attention. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Audience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/audience/) [Body](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/body/) [Body language](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/body-language/) [Language](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/language/) ## Related quotes > [I think there is a time, if I can say this; there is a time in a message where you might just tell a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-lucado/i-think-there-is-a-time-if-i-can-say-this-there-is-a-time-in-a/) [Max Lucado](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-lucado/) > [I usually can be more honest writing songs than actually talking to people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joshua-radin/i-usually-can-be-more-honest-writing-songs-than-actually-talking-to/) [Joshua Radin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joshua-radin/) > [There's this resistance to actually talking to people who are smarter than you about things and I don't know why that is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessa-crispin/there-s-this-resistance-to-actually-talking-to-people-who-are-smarter/) [Jessa Crispin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessa-crispin/) > [“We had this time. We had this little bit of time together for being honest. It felt sharp and finite, like it could end…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sara-zarr/we-had-this-time-we-had-this-little-bit-of-time-together-for-being/) [Sara Zarr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sara-zarr/) > [That awkward moment when you think someone is talking to you, but they're actually talking on the phone. :](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/that-awkward-moment-when-you-think-someone-is-talking-to-you-but-they/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [“He was one of those people who constantly seems to be having a conversation with someone other than the person he’s actually talking to—presumably…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-aaronovitch/he-was-one-of-those-people-who-constantly-seems-to-be-having-a/) [Ben Aaronovitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-aaronovitch/) > [“Actually, they have not been talking so much as mentioning certain ideas and then leaving the other to work through the implications. This is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-stephenson/actually-they-have-not-been-talking-so-much-as-mentioning-certain/) [Neal Stephenson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-stephenson/) > [I didn't know if I'd be good with children. Actually talking with them, I mean. But I am good with them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lloyd-alexander/i-didn-t-know-if-i-d-be-good-with-children-actually-talking-with-them/) [Lloyd Alexander](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lloyd-alexander/) > [You can’t just keep grabbing at me every time you see me. It’s not a substitute for actually talking.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/you-can-t-just-keep-grabbing-at-me-every-time-you-see-me-it-s-not-a/) [Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/) > [If you turn on ABC 7 in the morning San Francisco, you'll see them using an iPad with Waze on it, and actually talking about.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noam-bardin/if-you-turn-on-abc-7-in-the-morning-san-francisco-you-ll-see-them/) [Noam Bardin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noam-bardin/) > [Fast replies makes me feel like you actually want to talk to me, but slow replies makes me think you're actually talking to someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/fast-replies-makes-me-feel-like-you-actually-want-to-talk-to-me-but/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If you put me in 'South Park,' that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephan-pastis/if-you-put-me-in-south-park-that-audience-is-going-to-fall-asleep-in/) [Stephan Pastis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephan-pastis/) > [When I'm on set, I don't really think about what an audience is going to think about a scene. I'm just thinking about how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-holland/when-i-m-on-set-i-don-t-really-think-about-what-an-audience-is-going/) [Tom Holland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-holland/) > [As a hero, you have to play it straight. The audience is going to live through you, so you have to be more neutral.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dolph-lundgren/as-a-hero-you-have-to-play-it-straight-the-audience-is-going-to-live/) [Dolph Lundgren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dolph-lundgren/) > [ All the shows we did pre-airdate, and I'd come out - "Rob Lowe!" - and it was \[Offers bored applause.\] After the show aired?… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-lowe/all-the-shows-we-did-pre-airdate-and-i-d-come-out-rob-lowe-and-it-was/) [Rob Lowe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-lowe/) ## More by Mark Goulston > [The most influential people strive for genuine buy-in and commitment - they don't rely on compliance techniques that only secure short-term persuasion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/the-most-influential-people-strive-for-genuine-buy-in-and-commitment/) [Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/) > [When you know you haven't been connecting with, persuading, or getting through to someone, consciously pause before meeting them and say to yourself, 'During…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/when-you-know-you-haven-t-been-connecting-with-persuading-or-getting/) [Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/) > [Too often, founders make decisions before determining whether they are the right thing to do. These decisions often create chaos in their companies where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/too-often-founders-make-decisions-before-determining-whether-they-are/) [Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/) > [If fun puts a smile on your face, beauty and elegance put a smile in your heart and take your breath away. It's longer-lasting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/if-fun-puts-a-smile-on-your-face-beauty-and-elegance-put-a-smile-in/) [Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/) > [The crux is this: you can't be sincerely empathic towards and angry at someone at the same moment. 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When you are totally present in a conversation or in a meeting,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/presence-is-in-the-eye-and-ear-and-gut-of-the-beholder-when-you-are/) [Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/) > [When you're trying to persuade people, more often than not, they feel you're being pushy. When you focus on influencing them, they're much less…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/when-you-re-trying-to-persuade-people-more-often-than-not-they-feel/) [Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/) > [One of the reasons it is so difficult to break a connection to something or someone you have imprinted on is that after you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/one-of-the-reasons-it-is-so-difficult-to-break-a-connection-to/) [Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/) > [Gen X entrepreneurs are frequently smart, tough, tenacious, and self-made. That said, to succeed in their companies, they often have sacrificed being emotionally involved…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/gen-x-entrepreneurs-are-frequently-smart-tough-tenacious-and-self/) [Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/) > [In my life, I think I have had more than two hundred significant breakthroughs that exponentially accelerated my life forward. However, each and every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/in-my-life-i-think-i-have-had-more-than-two-hundred-significant/) [Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/) > [Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/happy-couples-resist-the-temptation-to-go-to-bed-at-different-times/) [Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/) > [You can't create more jobs for an economy where the vast majority of people are hesitant and even afraid to spend and buy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/you-can-t-create-more-jobs-for-an-economy-where-the-vast-majority-of/) [Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/) > [President Reagan preached 'trickle down economics' but naively did not reckon on the fact that the wealthy would only care about getting more for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/president-reagan-preached-trickle-down-economics-but-naively-did-not/) [Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/) [Explore all 115 Mark Goulston quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/) ## More Audience quotes > [If the audience likes your work, if they like you, they don't think whether you are married or have children or not. I made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dimple-kapadia/if-the-audience-likes-your-work-if-they-like-you-they-don-t-think/) [Dimple Kapadia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dimple-kapadia/) > [It's those moments, those odd moments that you look for and sometimes by creating this kind of loose atmosphere you find those little moments…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-levinson/it-s-those-moments-those-odd-moments-that-you-look-for-and-sometimes/) [Barry Levinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-levinson/) > [I can skate beautifully. While performing on ice I always try to please the audience and to win as well. Being artistic is very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evgeni-plushenko/i-can-skate-beautifully-while-performing-on-ice-i-always-try-to/) [Evgeni Plushenko](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evgeni-plushenko/) > [One of the best moments of any Liars show is hearing the crowd squawk 'We're doomed! We're doomed!' on cue during 'We Fenced Other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-sheffield/one-of-the-best-moments-of-any-liars-show-is-hearing-the-crowd-squawk/) [Rob Sheffield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-sheffield/) > [It's the adrenaline rush you only get from being in front of an audience. It's addictive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raphael-saadiq/it-s-the-adrenaline-rush-you-only-get-from-being-in-front-of-an/) [Raphael Saadiq](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/raphael-saadiq/) > [If I had to speak in front of a Korean audience, I would be hard pressed to sound other than a little girl.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/an-na/if-i-had-to-speak-in-front-of-a-korean-audience-i-would-be-hard/) [An Na](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/an-na/) > [The liveness of theater, and the excitement of experiencing it alongside an audience, is something you can't get at home. That makes the theater…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-blaemire/the-liveness-of-theater-and-the-excitement-of-experiencing-it/) [Nick Blaemire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-blaemire/) > [One of the things that touches me most when I play for an audience is that although we may be unable to communicate in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-hough/one-of-the-things-that-touches-me-most-when-i-play-for-an-audience-is/) [Stephen Hough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-hough/) > [I have to feel the audience. I enjoy that feeling of community.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-gahan/i-have-to-feel-the-audience-i-enjoy-that-feeling-of-community/) [Dave Gahan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-gahan/) > [When you lived it for years and years and years and seen different characters just get pummeled and squashed because 'I said so,' it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arn-anderson/when-you-lived-it-for-years-and-years-and-years-and-seen-different/) [Arn Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arn-anderson/) > [“During the first few minutes of your presentation, your job is to assure the audience members that you are not going to waste their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dale-ludwig-and-greg-owen-boger/during-the-first-few-minutes-of-your-presentation-your-job-is-to/) [Dale Ludwig and Greg Owen-Boger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dale-ludwig-and-greg-owen-boger/) > [Donald Trump is a different ball of wax. 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