---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: identify the negative qualities that you…"
description: "\"“identify the negative qualities that you find most bothersome in the people around you and start acting toward these people as though they’re exhibiti..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34d/mark-goulston-4177_negative-qualities_identify-the-negative-qualities-that-you_623629.png"
---

#  identify the negative qualities that you find most…

![“identify the negative qualities that you find most bothersome in the people around you and start acting toward these people as though they’re exhibiting the opposing positive qualities. For” quote by Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34d/mark-goulston-4177_negative-qualities_identify-the-negative-qualities-that-you_623629.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34d/mark-goulston-4177_negative-qualities_identify-the-negative-qualities-that-you_623629.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34d/mark-goulston-4177_negative-qualities_identify-the-negative-qualities-that-you_623629.png)

> ““identify the negative qualities that you find most bothersome in the people around you and start acting toward these people as though they’re exhibiting the opposing positive qualities. For””

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Recognize others’ flaws and consciously treat them as if they embody opposite virtues, thereby shifting your perception and behavior toward them.

**In simple terms:** See people’s bad traits as if they were good, and act accordingly.

Key Takeaway

Reframe negative perceptions into positive actions.

Themes

perception empathy behavior change psychology

Mood

reflective empathetic strategic

Type

advice psychological interpersonal

When to use this quote

- conflict resolution
- team leadership
- customer service
- personal relationships
- mental health counseling

Key Concepts

cognitive reframing positive psychology interpersonal dynamics

Questions to Reflect On

- How does changing your view of others affect your own emotions?
- What risks arise from assuming opposite virtues?

A Different Perspective

May ignore genuine issues by over‑idealizing others.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

## Related quotes

> [If you try to avoid or remove the awkward quality, it will pursue you. The only effective way to still its unease is to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-o-donohue/if-you-try-to-avoid-or-remove-the-awkward-quality-it-will-pursue-you/)

[John O'Donohue](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-o-donohue/)

> [I used to think that drinking would help my shyness, but all it did was exaggerate all the negative qualities.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-taylor/i-used-to-think-that-drinking-would-help-my-shyness-but-all-it-did/)

[Elizabeth Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-taylor/)

> [We have the tendency to judge others by their surface appearance, and to find only their negative qualities. But if we search beneath the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/radhanath-swami/we-have-the-tendency-to-judge-others-by-their-surface-appearance-and/)

[Radhanath Swami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/radhanath-swami/)

> [“We do not believe this. We claim—not on the basis of theory, but on the basis of our experiences with many children like this—that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hans-asperger/we-do-not-believe-this-we-claim-not-on-the-basis-of-theory-but-on-the/)

[Hans Asperger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hans-asperger/)

> [I tend to root for characters who have a lot of negative qualities, but what's driving them forward is their passion. They're on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurie-metcalf/i-tend-to-root-for-characters-who-have-a-lot-of-negative-qualities/)

[Laurie Metcalf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurie-metcalf/)

> [Green strongly influences the heart and helps alleviate tension. Positive qualities associated with green are generosity, humility, and cooperation. Foods of the green vibration…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tae-yun-kim/green-strongly-influences-the-heart-and-helps-alleviate-tension/)

[Tae Yun Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tae-yun-kim/)

> [People, to maintain their self-esteem, tend to believe they are above average on all positive qualities - height, income, intelligence, sense of humor, negotiating…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-pfeffer/people-to-maintain-their-self-esteem-tend-to-believe-they-are-above/)

[Jeffrey Pfeffer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-pfeffer/)

> [Persons are judged to be great because of the positive qualities they possess, not because of the absence of faults.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/persons-are-judged-to-be-great-because-of-the-positive-qualities-they/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Just as a seed grows with the warmth of the sun, so our positive qualities grow when we put our attention on them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arielle-ford/just-as-a-seed-grows-with-the-warmth-of-the-sun-so-our-positive/)

[Arielle Ford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arielle-ford/)

> [I think what I can do is to focus more on what I'm good at and see if I can improve on these positive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lee-seung-gi/i-think-what-i-can-do-is-to-focus-more-on-what-i-m-good-at-and-see-if/)

[Lee Seung-gi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lee-seung-gi/)

> [We succeed in enterprises which demand the positive qualities we possess, but we excel in those which can also make use of our defects.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexis-de-tocqueville/we-succeed-in-enterprises-which-demand-the-positive-qualities-we/)

[Alexis de Tocqueville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexis-de-tocqueville/)

> [To focus on our weaknesses is a way through which we can overcome them and turn them into positive qualities.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/senora-roy/to-focus-on-our-weaknesses-is-a-way-through-which-we-can-overcome/)

[Senora Roy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/senora-roy/)

> [Only by our positive thinking, by our bringing the positive qualities of others to the fore, will this world be able to make progress.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sri-chinmoy/only-by-our-positive-thinking-by-our-bringing-the-positive-qualities/)

[Sri Chinmoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sri-chinmoy/)

> [Navratri represents how the negativity can be conquered by the inherent positive qualities in us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sri-sri-ravi-shankar/navratri-represents-how-the-negativity-can-be-conquered-by-the/)

[Sri Sri Ravi Shankar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sri-sri-ravi-shankar/)

> [“Through meditation we can train our minds in such a way that negative qualities are abandoned and positive qualities are generated and enhanced.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dalai-lama-xiv/through-meditation-we-can-train-our-minds-in-such-a-way-that-negative/)

[Dalai Lama XIV](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dalai-lama-xiv/)

## More by Mark Goulston

> [The most influential people strive for genuine buy-in and commitment - they don't rely on compliance techniques that only secure short-term persuasion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/the-most-influential-people-strive-for-genuine-buy-in-and-commitment/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

> [When you know you haven't been connecting with, persuading, or getting through to someone, consciously pause before meeting them and say to yourself, 'During…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/when-you-know-you-haven-t-been-connecting-with-persuading-or-getting/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

> [Too often, founders make decisions before determining whether they are the right thing to do. These decisions often create chaos in their companies where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/too-often-founders-make-decisions-before-determining-whether-they-are/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

> [If fun puts a smile on your face, beauty and elegance put a smile in your heart and take your breath away. It's longer-lasting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/if-fun-puts-a-smile-on-your-face-beauty-and-elegance-put-a-smile-in/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

> [The crux is this: you can't be sincerely empathic towards and angry at someone at the same moment. In other words, you can't walk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/the-crux-is-this-you-can-t-be-sincerely-empathic-towards-and-angry-at/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

> [As a general rule, when your child, or anyone in the work force, doesn't know what he/she wants to do, they should instead always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/as-a-general-rule-when-your-child-or-anyone-in-the-work-force-doesn-t/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

> [People act on what they want more often than what they need.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/people-act-on-what-they-want-more-often-than-what-they-need/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

> [Presence is in the eye and ear and gut of the beholder. When you are totally present in a conversation or in a meeting,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/presence-is-in-the-eye-and-ear-and-gut-of-the-beholder-when-you-are/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

> [When you're trying to persuade people, more often than not, they feel you're being pushy. When you focus on influencing them, they're much less…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/when-you-re-trying-to-persuade-people-more-often-than-not-they-feel/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

> [One of the reasons it is so difficult to break a connection to something or someone you have imprinted on is that after you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/one-of-the-reasons-it-is-so-difficult-to-break-a-connection-to/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

> [Gen X entrepreneurs are frequently smart, tough, tenacious, and self-made. That said, to succeed in their companies, they often have sacrificed being emotionally involved…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/gen-x-entrepreneurs-are-frequently-smart-tough-tenacious-and-self/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

> [In my life, I think I have had more than two hundred significant breakthroughs that exponentially accelerated my life forward. However, each and every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/in-my-life-i-think-i-have-had-more-than-two-hundred-significant/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

> [Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/happy-couples-resist-the-temptation-to-go-to-bed-at-different-times/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

> [You can't create more jobs for an economy where the vast majority of people are hesitant and even afraid to spend and buy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/you-can-t-create-more-jobs-for-an-economy-where-the-vast-majority-of/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

> [President Reagan preached 'trickle down economics' but naively did not reckon on the fact that the wealthy would only care about getting more for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/president-reagan-preached-trickle-down-economics-but-naively-did-not/)

[Mark Goulston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

[Explore all 115 Mark Goulston quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/)

## More Negative Qualities quotes

> [If you try to avoid or remove the awkward quality, it will pursue you. The only effective way to still its unease is to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-o-donohue/if-you-try-to-avoid-or-remove-the-awkward-quality-it-will-pursue-you/)

[John O'Donohue](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-o-donohue/)

> [I used to think that drinking would help my shyness, but all it did was exaggerate all the negative qualities.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-taylor/i-used-to-think-that-drinking-would-help-my-shyness-but-all-it-did/)

[Elizabeth Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-taylor/)

> [We have the tendency to judge others by their surface appearance, and to find only their negative qualities. But if we search beneath the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/radhanath-swami/we-have-the-tendency-to-judge-others-by-their-surface-appearance-and/)

[Radhanath Swami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/radhanath-swami/)

> [I tend to root for characters who have a lot of negative qualities, but what's driving them forward is their passion. They're on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurie-metcalf/i-tend-to-root-for-characters-who-have-a-lot-of-negative-qualities/)

[Laurie Metcalf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurie-metcalf/)

> [“We do not believe this. We claim—not on the basis of theory, but on the basis of our experiences with many children like this—that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hans-asperger/we-do-not-believe-this-we-claim-not-on-the-basis-of-theory-but-on-the/)

[Hans Asperger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hans-asperger/)

Browse all 6 Negative Qualities quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“identify the negative qualities that you find most bothersome in the people around you and start acting toward these people as though they’re exhibiting the opposing positive qualities. For”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Mark Goulston"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/identify-the-negative-qualities-that-you-find-most-bothersome-in-the/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Negative Qualities"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/identify-the-negative-qualities-that-you-find-most-bothersome-in-the/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34d/mark-goulston-4177_negative-qualities_identify-the-negative-qualities-that-you_623629.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34d/mark-goulston-4177_negative-qualities_identify-the-negative-qualities-that-you_623629.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34d/mark-goulston-4177_negative-qualities_identify-the-negative-qualities-that-you_623629.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“identify the negative qualities that you find most bothersome in the people around you and start acting…” — Mark Goulston",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Mark Goulston",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-goulston/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“identify the negative qualities that you...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/identify-the-negative-qualities-that-you-find-most-bothersome-in-the/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-goulston/identify-the-negative-qualities-that-you-find-most-bothersome-in-the/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
