---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: when we’re in emotional pain, we think…"
description: "\"“when we’re in emotional pain, we think it’s a mistake, something that needs to be remedied. ‘We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcom..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/82e/marian-keyes-1999_emotional-pain_when-we-re-in-emotional-pain-we-think-it_1592636.png"
---

#  when we’re in emotional pain, we think it’s a mistake…

![“when we’re in emotional pain, we think it’s a mistake, something that needs to be remedied. ‘We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and fall apart. Then they come together and fall apart…” quote by Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/82e/marian-keyes-1999_emotional-pain_when-we-re-in-emotional-pain-we-think-it_1592636.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/82e/marian-keyes-1999_emotional-pain_when-we-re-in-emotional-pain-we-think-it_1592636.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/82e/marian-keyes-1999_emotional-pain_when-we-re-in-emotional-pain-we-think-it_1592636.png)

> ““when we’re in emotional pain, we think it’s a mistake, something that needs to be remedied. ‘We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and fall apart. Then they come together and fall apart again. It’s just like that.””

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Emotional pain is often misread as a problem to fix, but it cycles without true resolution, teaching acceptance of impermanence.

**In simple terms:** Emotional pain isn’t a problem to solve.

Key Takeaway

Accept feelings as they come and go.

Themes

psychology acceptance impermanence

Mood

reflective empathetic

Type

philosophical inspirational

When to use this quote

- therapy
- personal growth
- grief processing

Key Concepts

mindfulness self‑compassion

Questions to Reflect On

- How can you sit with pain without fixing it?
- What cycles of emotion repeat in your life?

A Different Perspective

Some may view pain as needing fixing.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Emotional pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotional-pain/) [Failure](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/failure/) [Fall apart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fall-apart/) [Overcome Problem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/overcome-problem-930528/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Pain Think](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain-think/) [Remedied Think](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/remedied-think-6039643/) [Think](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/think/)

## Related quotes

> [“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/things-falling-apart-is-a-kind-of-testing-and-also-a-kind-of-healing/)

[Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/we-think-that-the-point-is-to-pass-the-test-or-to-overcome-the/)

[Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [“We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/we-think-that-the-point-is-to-pass-the-test-or-overcome-the-problem/)

[Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/)

> [You can't achieve anything in life if you keep running from the problems. You have to face the challenges in order to overcome the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anurag-prakash-ray/you-can-t-achieve-anything-in-life-if-you-keep-running-from-the/)

[Anurag Prakash Ray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anurag-prakash-ray/)

> [Every major opportunity is always presented with a problem.It's to test to make sure that you are committed to your idea. Many fail to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/every-major-opportunity-is-always-presented-with-a-problem-it-s-to/)

[Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/)

> [“Your smile is my world's biggest problem because it helped me to overcome my last problem.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-s-jagadeesh-kumar/your-smile-is-my-world-s-biggest-problem-because-it-helped-me-to/)

[P.S. Jagadeesh Kumar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-s-jagadeesh-kumar/)

> [“With positive attitude, you can overcome any problem.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/with-positive-attitude-you-can-overcome-any-problem/)

[Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/)

> [Do we have a brain? Than use it. It's all you need to overcome a problem. That's the secret. That's my simple but powerful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-carson/do-we-have-a-brain-than-use-it-it-s-all-you-need-to-overcome-a/)

[Benjamin Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-carson/)

> [They say you need to pray, if you want to go to heaven. But they dont tell you what to say when your whole…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kaile-stewart/they-say-you-need-to-pray-if-you-want-to-go-to-heaven-but-they-dont/)

[Kaile Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kaile-stewart/)

> [“Mental illness People assume you aren’t sick unless they see the sickness on your skin like scars forming a map of all the ways…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emm-roy/mental-illness-people-assume-you-aren-t-sick-unless-they-see-the/)

[Emm Roy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emm-roy/)

> [When I look at you I see the old me. A person in so much pain that they think they can never move on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/when-i-look-at-you-i-see-the-old-me-a-person-in-so-much-pain-that/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [Wish I'd never born so that I couldn't get this pain, everything I think the best I found worst..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raj-singh/wish-i-d-never-born-so-that-i-couldn-t-get-this-pain-everything-i/)

[Raj Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/raj-singh/)

> [“If ever in pain, I think the best thing we can do is to create something.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kamal-ravikant/if-ever-in-pain-i-think-the-best-thing-we-can-do-is-to-create/)

[Kamal Ravikant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kamal-ravikant/)

> [Some drink away the pain, I think of ways to gain. It happens so naturally you'd think it's preordained.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/some-drink-away-the-pain-i-think-of-ways-to-gain-it-happens-so/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Elaine is just in pain. I think Elaine has become very, very sad woman. She is someone who is in deep need of many…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julia-louis-dreyfus/elaine-is-just-in-pain-i-think-elaine-has-become-very-very-sad-woman/)

[Julia Louis-Dreyfus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julia-louis-dreyfus/)

## More by Marian Keyes

> [“As they say in New York, Get over it and, if you can't get over it, Get over talking about it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/as-they-say-in-new-york-get-over-it-and-if-you-can-t-get-over-it-get/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [I rang my mother to thank her for giving birth to me and she said, "What choice had I? You were in there, how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/i-rang-my-mother-to-thank-her-for-giving-birth-to-me-and-she-said/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [“I should have learned mindfulness, and it’s too late now because it’s no good learning it when you’re already in crisis: you have to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/i-should-have-learned-mindfulness-and-it-s-too-late-now-because-it-s/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [“The last time I’d been unwell, suicidally depressed, whatever you want to call it, the reactions of my friends and family had fallen into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/the-last-time-i-d-been-unwell-suicidally-depressed-whatever-you-want/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [I'm not looking for pity, I'm really not, but I'm constantly uneasy and every day it is pretty much like getting up and going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/i-m-not-looking-for-pity-i-m-really-not-but-i-m-constantly-uneasy-and/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [Some think love can be measured by the amount of butterflies in their tummy. Others think love can be measured in bunches of flowers,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/some-think-love-can-be-measured-by-the-amount-of-butterflies-in-their/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [“Guilt is a self-indulgence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/guilt-is-a-self-indulgence/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [“I awake. I don’t mean to but clearly I have not appeased the Sleep Gods with enough offerings.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/i-awake-i-don-t-mean-to-but-clearly-i-have-not-appeased-the-sleep/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [It was only when the salt water of my tears ran into my cuts and made them sting that I discovered I was crying.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/it-was-only-when-the-salt-water-of-my-tears-ran-into-my-cuts-and-made/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [I wished there was some kind of switch on my brain. That I could turn it off in the same way that I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/i-wished-there-was-some-kind-of-switch-on-my-brain-that-i-could-turn/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [“I click to buy it and I’m furious to discover that it’s not available in Ireland and they won’t post it from abroad and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/i-click-to-buy-it-and-i-m-furious-to-discover-that-it-s-not-available/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [I've never made a secret of the fact that I'd have loved to have children.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/i-ve-never-made-a-secret-of-the-fact-that-i-d-have-loved-to-have/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [“As if, within their high-pitched cries and songs, there are coded threats.     ‘Sometimes you get what you want and sometimes you get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/as-if-within-their-high-pitched-cries-and-songs-there-are-coded/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [“If it don't come back, it was never yours. If it comes back, it's yours to keep.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/if-it-don-t-come-back-it-was-never-yours-if-it-comes-back-it-s-yours/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

> [Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted makeup. Forget the laughs, forget the fights, forget the sex, forget the jealousy. But take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/failed-relationships-can-be-described-as-so-much-wasted-makeup-forget/)

[Marian Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

[Explore all 190 Marian Keyes quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/)

## More Emotional pain quotes

> [“Addictions are just symptoms of underlying issues, and in my view Nikki self-medicated the emotional pain of his childhood, and being away from his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikki-sixx/addictions-are-just-symptoms-of-underlying-issues-and-in-my-view/)

[Nikki Sixx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikki-sixx/)

> [“The thing I feared the most was the network of unexplored crevices in my dark mind . . . because perhaps, there was no such thing as a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-c-reden/the-thing-i-feared-the-most-was-the-network-of-unexplored-crevices-in/)

[Laura C. Reden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-c-reden/)

> [“For a split second, I realize completely and absolutely that the season of winter is sentient, that there is an intelligence behind it. There's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/damien-echols/for-a-split-second-i-realize-completely-and-absolutely-that-the/)

[Damien Echols](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/damien-echols/)

> [“Mental illness People assume you aren’t sick unless they see the sickness on your skin like scars forming a map of all the ways…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emm-roy/mental-illness-people-assume-you-aren-t-sick-unless-they-see-the/)

[Emm Roy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emm-roy/)

> [Emotional pain is sometimes what we make of it. We can always choose how we react. No matter what the pain, breathing always centers…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aleks-paunovic/emotional-pain-is-sometimes-what-we-make-of-it-we-can-always-choose/)

[Aleks Paunovic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aleks-paunovic/)

> [“I have found that most people are more willing to accept physical pain and limitation rather than acknowledge and deal with the mental and/or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tobe-hanson/i-have-found-that-most-people-are-more-willing-to-accept-physical/)

[Tobe Hanson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tobe-hanson/)

> [“So what you've actually got is traumatized children. When children are traumatized that affects how they feel about themselves, which is deeply ashamed because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/so-what-you-ve-actually-got-is-traumatized-children-when-children-are/)

[Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/)

> [“Even sorrow has its silver lining, as the emotion that pours forth reminds us of our capacity to love, and to be loved.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-kozak/even-sorrow-has-its-silver-lining-as-the-emotion-that-pours-forth/)

[Rob Kozak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-kozak/)

> [In order to handle my emotional pain I talk to friends about it, I write, I breathe, and most of all, I put it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-loeb/in-order-to-handle-my-emotional-pain-i-talk-to-friends-about-it-i/)

[Lisa Loeb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-loeb/)

> [Everyone goes through heartbreak or be disappointed over something at different points in our lives. Use that emotional pain to be a better and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/everyone-goes-through-heartbreak-or-be-disappointed-over-something-at/)

[Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/)

> [“We've all felt a little incompetent, insufficient, overexposed, helpless, unlovable, terrified, defective, unfit and unsung at times. And deep down, for whatever reason, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-clendening/we-ve-all-felt-a-little-incompetent-insufficient-overexposed-helpless/)

[Anne Clendening](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-clendening/)

> [“...spiritual or emotional pain doesn't become a memory so much as a bruise ...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-geddes/spiritual-or-emotional-pain-doesn-t-become-a-memory-so-much-as-a/)

[John Geddes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-geddes/)

> [I don't think there's ever a winner in a feud. It's about emotional pain and an inability to conquer the pain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-murphy/i-don-t-think-there-s-ever-a-winner-in-a-feud-it-s-about-emotional/)

[Ryan Murphy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-murphy/)

> [ I try to go through it \[emotional pain\]; understanding is going to take me to a better place. And I do hot yoga. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-velasquez/i-try-to-go-through-it-emotional-pain-understanding-is-going-to-take/)

[Patricia Velasquez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-velasquez/)

> [When faced with emotional pain, I become still for hours, sometimes days, doing absolutely nothing. It helps me get to the truest source of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/romany-malco/when-faced-with-emotional-pain-i-become-still-for-hours-sometimes/)

[Romany Malco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/romany-malco/)

[Browse all 271 Emotional pain quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotional-pain/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“when we’re in emotional pain, we think it’s a mistake, something that needs to be remedied. ‘We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and fall apart. Then they come together and fall apart again. It’s just like that.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Marian Keyes"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/when-we-re-in-emotional-pain-we-think-it-s-a-mistake-something-that/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Emotional pain"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/when-we-re-in-emotional-pain-we-think-it-s-a-mistake-something-that/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/82e/marian-keyes-1999_emotional-pain_when-we-re-in-emotional-pain-we-think-it_1592636.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/82e/marian-keyes-1999_emotional-pain_when-we-re-in-emotional-pain-we-think-it_1592636.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/82e/marian-keyes-1999_emotional-pain_when-we-re-in-emotional-pain-we-think-it_1592636.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“when we’re in emotional pain, we think it’s a mistake, something that needs to be remedied. ‘We think that…” — Marian Keyes",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Marian Keyes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marian-keyes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“when we’re in emotional pain, we...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/when-we-re-in-emotional-pain-we-think-it-s-a-mistake-something-that/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marian-keyes/when-we-re-in-emotional-pain-we-think-it-s-a-mistake-something-that/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
