---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: What he doesn't know is that in a way…"
description: "\"“What he doesn't know is that in a way it's always been both at once: whichever one she's with, the other one is there with her as well, invisible, par..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef0/margaret-atwood-40_quote_what-he-doesn-t-know-is-that-in-a-way-it_1985236.jpg"
---

#  What he doesn't know is that in a way it's always been…

![“What he doesn't know is that in a way it's always been both at once: whichever one she's with, the other one is there with her as well, invisible, partaking, though at some unconscious level. Unconscious to him but conscious to her, because she holds them both in her consciousness, so carefully…” quote by Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef0/margaret-atwood-40_quote_what-he-doesn-t-know-is-that-in-a-way-it_1985236.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef0/margaret-atwood-40_quote_what-he-doesn-t-know-is-that-in-a-way-it_1985236.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef0/margaret-atwood-40_quote_what-he-doesn-t-know-is-that-in-a-way-it_1985236.jpg)

> ““What he doesn't know is that in a way it's always been both at once: whichever one she's with, the other one is there with her as well, invisible, partaking, though at some unconscious level. Unconscious to him but conscious to her, because she holds them both in her consciousness, so carefully, like fragile meringues, or uncooked eggs, or baby birds. But she doesn't think that's a dirty thing, cherishing both at once: each of them has a different essence, and she happens to be good at treasuring the unique essence of a person. It's a gift not everyone has.””

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

A person can hold multiple unconscious connections simultaneously, recognizing each individual's distinct essence without judgment.

**In simple terms:** She values hidden bonds and unique qualities in others.

Key Takeaway

Cherish unseen relationships and diverse essences.

Themes

relationships identity empathy

Mood

reflective introspective

Type

philosophical inspirational

When to use this quote

- romantic partnership
- friendship
- family dynamics
- personal growth

Key Concepts

psychology consciousness gift multifaceted perception

Questions to Reflect On

- How do you acknowledge unseen influences in others?
- What value do you find in recognizing multiple essences?

A Different Perspective

May overlook practical realities when focusing on intangible connections.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Consciousness Carefully](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/consciousness-carefully-3412209/) [Different Essence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/different-essence-1537964/) [Essence Happens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/essence-happens-3412210/) [Unconscious Conscious](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unconscious-conscious-1905327/) [Unique Essence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unique-essence-422514/)

## Related quotes

> [The fact is, there really is no such thing as 'normal' - everybody's different, and that is the essence of their beauty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevyn-aucoin/the-fact-is-there-really-is-no-such-thing-as-normal-everybody-s/)

[Kevyn Aucoin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevyn-aucoin/)

> [While traveling around the world, I've had the opportunity to work with every living beauty icon. I've learned to appreciate idiosyncrasy. The fact is,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevyn-aucoin/while-traveling-around-the-world-i-ve-had-the-opportunity-to-work/)

[Kevyn Aucoin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevyn-aucoin/)

> [“As believers, we each have a different essence of existence”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sunday-adelaja/as-believers-we-each-have-a-different-essence-of-existence/)

[Sunday Adelaja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sunday-adelaja/)

> [“Commune with the dew of your Soul. Awaken to all of you- your beauty. It is your unique essence that sustains, and your fragrance…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ulonda-faye/commune-with-the-dew-of-your-soul-awaken-to-all-of-you-your-beauty-it/)

[Ulonda Faye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ulonda-faye/)

> [“Flowers reconnect us to our own beautiful and unique essence as human beings. They wake up our positive qualities so that we feel them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-hess/flowers-reconnect-us-to-our-own-beautiful-and-unique-essence-as-human/)

[Katie Hess](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-hess/)

> [I think there is an idea, a unique essence to every club.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diego-simeone/i-think-there-is-an-idea-a-unique-essence-to-every-club/)

[Diego Simeone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diego-simeone/)

> [The unique essence of being an artist is dying. Eveything looks the same. Now there’s a formula. And it works. - But it takes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/usher/the-unique-essence-of-being-an-artist-is-dying-eveything-looks-the/)

[Usher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/usher/)

> [One must love humanity in order to reach out into the unique essence of each individual: no one can be too low or too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/georg-b-chner/one-must-love-humanity-in-order-to-reach-out-into-the-unique-essence/)

[Georg Buchner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/georg-b-chner/)

> [In recognizing exactly where we have been unconscious, we become more conscious. And in seeing and feeling the ways we've gone dead, we start…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-welwood/in-recognizing-exactly-where-we-have-been-unconscious-we-become-more/)

[John Welwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-welwood/)

> [“The job of the conscious is to make the unconscious conscious.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stokely-carmichael/the-job-of-the-conscious-is-to-make-the-unconscious-conscious/)

[Stokely Carmichael](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stokely-carmichael/)

> [“But the final price of freedom is the willingness to face that most frightening of all beings, one’s own self. Starlight vision, the “other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/starhawk/but-the-final-price-of-freedom-is-the-willingness-to-face-that-most/)

[Starhawk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/starhawk/)

> [Memory is essential to who we are, and memories can be both implicit and explicit - unconscious and conscious.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/siri-hustvedt/memory-is-essential-to-who-we-are-and-memories-can-be-both-implicit/)

[Siri Hustvedt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/siri-hustvedt/)

> [“Someone has said,”Education is going from an unconscious to conscious awareness of one’s ignorance.”..No one has a corner on wisdom. All the name-dropping in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/someone-has-said-education-is-going-from-an-unconscious-to-conscious/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/until-you-make-the-unconscious-conscious-it-will-direct-your-life-and/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [One of the ultimate challenges for biology is to understand the brain's processing of unconscious and conscious perception, emotion, and empathy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-kandel/one-of-the-ultimate-challenges-for-biology-is-to-understand-the-brain/)

[Eric Kandel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-kandel/)

## More by Margaret Atwood

> [“I'm fine," said Pilar, "for the moment. And the moment is the only time we can be fine in.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/i-m-fine-said-pilar-for-the-moment-and-the-moment-is-the-only-time-we/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [And yet it disturbs me to learn I have hurt someone unintentionally. I want all my hurts to be intentional.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/and-yet-it-disturbs-me-to-learn-i-have-hurt-someone-unintentionally-i/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [“Mary: Some call this "Eve's curse," but I think that is stupid because the real curse of Eve was having to put up with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/mary-some-call-this-eve-s-curse-but-i-think-that-is-stupid-because/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [“The birds were singing around me, but I reflected that the very birds were strangers to me, for I did not even know their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/the-birds-were-singing-around-me-but-i-reflected-that-the-very-birds/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [“Strange how we decorate pain. These ribbons, for instance, and the small hard teardrops of blood. Who are they for? Do we think the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/strange-how-we-decorate-pain-these-ribbons-for-instance-and-the-small/)

[margaret atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [I wanted to forget the past, but it refused to forget me; it waited for sleep, then cornered me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/i-wanted-to-forget-the-past-but-it-refused-to-forget-me-it-waited-for/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [“Back at home they drew the curtains and read, with disapproval, with relish, with avidity and glee - even the ones who'd never thought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/back-at-home-they-drew-the-curtains-and-read-with-disapproval-with/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [“It's my fault. I am forgetting too much.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/it-s-my-fault-i-am-forgetting-too-much/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [All fiction is about people, unless it's about rabbits pretending to be people. It's all essentially characters in action, which means characters moving through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/all-fiction-is-about-people-unless-it-s-about-rabbits-pretending-to/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [“Simon walks back to the house alone. The night is clear and warm, with a moon, almost full, enclosed in a nimbus of mist;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/simon-walks-back-to-the-house-alone-the-night-is-clear-and-warm-with/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [“There is indeed something delightful about being able to combine obedience and disobedience in the same act.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/there-is-indeed-something-delightful-about-being-able-to-combine/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [“Every time the women appear, Snowman is astonished all over again. They're every known colour from the deepest black to whitest white, they're various…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/every-time-the-women-appear-snowman-is-astonished-all-over-again-they/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [Once you publish a book, it is out of your control. You cannot dictate how people read it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/once-you-publish-a-book-it-is-out-of-your-control-you-cannot-dictate/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [“The more difficult it was to love the particular man beside us, the more we believed in Love, abstract and total. We were waiting,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/the-more-difficult-it-was-to-love-the-particular-man-beside-us-the/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [“She knows she's deceiving herself about that, but she prefers to deceive herself. She desperately needs to believe such pure joy is still possible.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/she-knows-she-s-deceiving-herself-about-that-but-she-prefers-to/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

[Explore all 2,072 Margaret Atwood quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

## More Unique Essence quotes

> [The unique essence of being an artist is dying. Eveything looks the same. Now there’s a formula. And it works. - But it takes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/usher/the-unique-essence-of-being-an-artist-is-dying-eveything-looks-the/)

[Usher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/usher/)

> [One must love humanity in order to reach out into the unique essence of each individual: no one can be too low or too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/georg-b-chner/one-must-love-humanity-in-order-to-reach-out-into-the-unique-essence/)

[Georg Buchner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/georg-b-chner/)

> [I think there is an idea, a unique essence to every club.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diego-simeone/i-think-there-is-an-idea-a-unique-essence-to-every-club/)

[Diego Simeone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diego-simeone/)

> [“Flowers reconnect us to our own beautiful and unique essence as human beings. They wake up our positive qualities so that we feel them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-hess/flowers-reconnect-us-to-our-own-beautiful-and-unique-essence-as-human/)

[Katie Hess](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-hess/)

> [“Commune with the dew of your Soul. Awaken to all of you- your beauty. It is your unique essence that sustains, and your fragrance…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ulonda-faye/commune-with-the-dew-of-your-soul-awaken-to-all-of-you-your-beauty-it/)

[Ulonda Faye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ulonda-faye/)

[Browse all 6 Unique Essence quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unique-essence-422514/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“What he doesn't know is that in a way it's always been both at once: whichever one she's with, the other one is there with her as well, invisible, partaking, though at some unconscious level. Unconscious to him but conscious to her, because she holds them both in her consciousness, so carefully, like fragile meringues, or uncooked eggs, or baby birds. But she doesn't think that's a dirty thing, cherishing both at once: each of them has a different essence, and she happens to be good at treasuring the unique essence of a person. It's a gift not everyone has.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Margaret Atwood"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/what-he-doesn-t-know-is-that-in-a-way-it-s-always-been-both-at-once/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Unique Essence"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/what-he-doesn-t-know-is-that-in-a-way-it-s-always-been-both-at-once/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef0/margaret-atwood-40_quote_what-he-doesn-t-know-is-that-in-a-way-it_1985236.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef0/margaret-atwood-40_quote_what-he-doesn-t-know-is-that-in-a-way-it_1985236.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef0/margaret-atwood-40_quote_what-he-doesn-t-know-is-that-in-a-way-it_1985236.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“What he doesn't know is that in a way it's always been both at once: whichever one she's with, the other one…” — Margaret Atwood",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Margaret Atwood",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“What he doesn't know is that...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/what-he-doesn-t-know-is-that-in-a-way-it-s-always-been-both-at-once/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/what-he-doesn-t-know-is-that-in-a-way-it-s-always-been-both-at-once/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
