--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: She did understand, or at least she…" description: "\"“She did understand, or at least she understood that she was supposed to understand. She understood, and said nothing about it, and prayed for the powe..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/450/margaret-atwood-40_forgiveness_she-did-understand-or-at-least-she-under_2801574.jpg" --- # She did understand, or at least she understood that she… ![“She did understand, or at least she understood that she was supposed to understand. She understood, and said nothing about it, and prayed for the power to forgive, and did forgive. But he can't have found living with her forgiveness all that easy. Breakfast in a haze of forgiveness: coffee with…” quote by Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/450/margaret-atwood-40_forgiveness_she-did-understand-or-at-least-she-under_2801574.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/450/margaret-atwood-40_forgiveness_she-did-understand-or-at-least-she-under_2801574.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/450/margaret-atwood-40_forgiveness_she-did-understand-or-at-least-she-under_2801574.jpg) > ““She did understand, or at least she understood that she was supposed to understand. She understood, and said nothing about it, and prayed for the power to forgive, and did forgive. But he can't have found living with her forgiveness all that easy. Breakfast in a haze of forgiveness: coffee with forgiveness, porridge with forgiveness, forgiveness on the buttered toast. He would have been helpless against it, for how can you repudiate something that is never spoken? She resented, too, the nurse, or the many nurses, who had attended my father in the various hospitals. She wished him to owe his recovery to her alone—to her care, to her tireless devotion. That is the other side of selflessness: its tyranny.”” [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Selfless love can become oppressive when forgiveness is expected without acknowledgment, turning care into a silent tyranny. **In simple terms:** Selfless care may become a silent burden. Key Takeaway Recognize and voice personal limits. Themes selflessness forgiveness power dynamics Mood reflective somber Type philosophical literary When to use this quote - family caregiving - hospital settings - personal boundaries - emotional labor Key Concepts tyranny of expectation silent oppression Questions to Reflect On - How do you balance selfless care with personal needs? - When does forgiveness become a tool of control? A Different Perspective Forgiveness alone cannot resolve underlying resentment. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Forgiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiveness/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Selflessness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/selflessness/) ## Related quotes > [“You never did forgive me, did you?' 'Forgive? There was nothing to forgive. If anything, I'm grateful for everything. I remember good things only.'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/you-never-did-forgive-me-did-you-forgive-there-was-nothing-to-forgive/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [And if your friend does evil to you, say to him, ''I forgive you for what you did to me, but how can I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/and-if-your-friend-does-evil-to-you-say-to-him-i-forgive-you-for-what/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [“Oliver: You never did forgive me, did you? Elio: Forgive? There was nothing to forgive. If anything, I'm grateful for everything. I remember good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-aciman/oliver-you-never-did-forgive-me-did-you-elio-forgive-there-was/) [André Aciman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andre-aciman/) > [Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone's face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/did-i-offer-peace-today-did-i-bring-a-smile-to-someone-s-face-did-i/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [“There is no goddess to forgive me for what I never did.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-berry/there-is-no-goddess-to-forgive-me-for-what-i-never-did/) [Julie Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-berry/) > [“Convincing Lana I forgive her for what she did is the least of it. I have years of stupid mistakes to make up for.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/siobhan-davis/convincing-lana-i-forgive-her-for-what-she-did-is-the-least-of-it-i/) [Siobhan Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/siobhan-davis/) > [I cant forgive myself for what I said, I cant forgive myself for what I did, but I hope you can forgive me and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-thivierge/i-cant-forgive-myself-for-what-i-said-i-cant-forgive-myself-for-what/) Mike Thivierge > [I hope you forgive yourself for what you did because I know I wont.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-hope-you-forgive-yourself-for-what-you-did-because-i-know-i-wont/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [You have done nothing wrong. Forgive yourself. For you did the best that you could do in every situation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bel-claveria-carig-martinez/you-have-done-nothing-wrong-forgive-yourself-for-you-did-the-best/) [Bel Claveria Carig Martinez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bel-claveria-carig-martinez/) > [I wish I could forgive what you did to me. I wish I could forget it all & start fresh. But at one point,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-wish-i-could-forgive-what-you-did-to-me-i-wish-i-could-forget-it/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I will never ever forgive you for what you did, you crossed the line and you will get what you deserve.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-will-never-ever-forgive-you-for-what-you-did-you-crossed-the-line/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [And who understands? Not me, because if I did I would forgive it all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/and-who-understands-not-me-because-if-i-did-i-would-forgive-it-all/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“But how? How can you just get over these things, darling?...You've had so much strife but you're always happy. How do you do it?'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-l-stedman-2/but-how-how-can-you-just-get-over-these-things-darling-you-ve-had-so/) [M. L. Stedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-l-stedman-2/) > [You have to have the capacity and the ability to take what people did, and how they did it, and forgive them and move…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-lewis/you-have-to-have-the-capacity-and-the-ability-to-take-what-people-did/) [John Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-lewis/) > [“Did you forgive her?" I looked at her with a start. Jack dropped his salad back in the bucket. "What?" "Did you forgive Nikki?"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brodi-ashton/did-you-forgive-her-i-looked-at-her-with-a-start-jack-dropped-his/) [Brodi Ashton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brodi-ashton/) ## More by Margaret Atwood > [“I'm fine," said Pilar, "for the moment. And the moment is the only time we can be fine in.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/i-m-fine-said-pilar-for-the-moment-and-the-moment-is-the-only-time-we/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [And yet it disturbs me to learn I have hurt someone unintentionally. I want all my hurts to be intentional.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/and-yet-it-disturbs-me-to-learn-i-have-hurt-someone-unintentionally-i/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [“Mary: Some call this "Eve's curse," but I think that is stupid because the real curse of Eve was having to put up with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/mary-some-call-this-eve-s-curse-but-i-think-that-is-stupid-because/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [“The birds were singing around me, but I reflected that the very birds were strangers to me, for I did not even know their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/the-birds-were-singing-around-me-but-i-reflected-that-the-very-birds/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [“Strange how we decorate pain. These ribbons, for instance, and the small hard teardrops of blood. Who are they for? Do we think the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/strange-how-we-decorate-pain-these-ribbons-for-instance-and-the-small/) [margaret atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [I wanted to forget the past, but it refused to forget me; it waited for sleep, then cornered me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/i-wanted-to-forget-the-past-but-it-refused-to-forget-me-it-waited-for/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [“Back at home they drew the curtains and read, with disapproval, with relish, with avidity and glee - even the ones who'd never thought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/back-at-home-they-drew-the-curtains-and-read-with-disapproval-with/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [“It's my fault. I am forgetting too much.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/it-s-my-fault-i-am-forgetting-too-much/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [All fiction is about people, unless it's about rabbits pretending to be people. It's all essentially characters in action, which means characters moving through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/all-fiction-is-about-people-unless-it-s-about-rabbits-pretending-to/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [“Simon walks back to the house alone. The night is clear and warm, with a moon, almost full, enclosed in a nimbus of mist;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/simon-walks-back-to-the-house-alone-the-night-is-clear-and-warm-with/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [“There is indeed something delightful about being able to combine obedience and disobedience in the same act.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/there-is-indeed-something-delightful-about-being-able-to-combine/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [“Every time the women appear, Snowman is astonished all over again. They're every known colour from the deepest black to whitest white, they're various…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/every-time-the-women-appear-snowman-is-astonished-all-over-again-they/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [Once you publish a book, it is out of your control. You cannot dictate how people read it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/once-you-publish-a-book-it-is-out-of-your-control-you-cannot-dictate/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [“The more difficult it was to love the particular man beside us, the more we believed in Love, abstract and total. We were waiting,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/the-more-difficult-it-was-to-love-the-particular-man-beside-us-the/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [“She knows she's deceiving herself about that, but she prefers to deceive herself. She desperately needs to believe such pure joy is still possible.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/she-knows-she-s-deceiving-herself-about-that-but-she-prefers-to/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) [Explore all 2,072 Margaret Atwood quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) ## More Forgiveness quotes > [“Lord I come before you, I repent all my sins; forgive me. I repent on behalf of my children forgive them Lord. Help them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/euginia-herlihy/lord-i-come-before-you-i-repent-all-my-sins-forgive-me-i-repent-on/) [Euginia Herlihy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/euginia-herlihy/) > [Forgiveness is not saying, What you did to me is okay. It is saying, Im not going to let what you did to me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nate/forgiveness-is-not-saying-what-you-did-to-me-is-okay-it-is-saying-im/) [Nate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nate/) > [“So in practicing blanket forgiveness you first assume that in any current condition of pain or discomfort there is some anger involved, even if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/serge-kahili-king/so-in-practicing-blanket-forgiveness-you-first-assume-that-in-any/) Serge Kahili King > [Do what is given to you, and do it well, and you will have done enough...live together in the forgiveness of your sins. Forgive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/do-what-is-given-to-you-and-do-it-well-and-you-will-have-done-enough/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wiggle out of one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-grizzard/the-public-more-often-than-not-will-forgive-mistakes-but-it-will-not/) [Lewis Grizzard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-grizzard/) > [A Real Boyfriend does the sweetest things randomly because he never wants her to feel unappreciated.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/enhance-dreams/a-real-boyfriend-does-the-sweetest-things-randomly-because-he-never/) Enhance Dreams > [“(Evil people) do not believe in forgiveness. Their transgressions are either punished or not punished. That is the only result that matters.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-mchugh/evil-people-do-not-believe-in-forgiveness-their-transgressions-are/) [Daniel McHugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-mchugh/) > [Friendship means understanding, not argument. it means forgiveness, not forgetting. it means the memories last, even if contact is lost.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sokhom/friendship-means-understanding-not-argument-it-means-forgiveness-not/) [Sokhom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sokhom/) > [Grace is the wonderful spirit that imbues every fiber of our being when we practice the fruits of the spirit: kindness, patience, understanding, forgiveness,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edgar-cayce/grace-is-the-wonderful-spirit-that-imbues-every-fiber-of-our-being/) [Edgar Cayce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edgar-cayce/) > [One of the most basic principles for making and keeping peace within and between nations. . . is that in political, military, moral, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carter/one-of-the-most-basic-principles-for-making-and-keeping-peace-within/) [Jimmy Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carter/) > [“Have an open mind and heart. Learn to journey in understanding and forgiveness. It's not always going to be easy but it will be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-elle/have-an-open-mind-and-heart-learn-to-journey-in-understanding-and/) [Alexandra Elle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-elle/) > [Forgive us our trespasses," says Margarethe, "and get out of our way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregory-maguire/forgive-us-our-trespasses-says-margarethe-and-get-out-of-our-way/) [Gregory Maguire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregory-maguire/) > [“ving self and others is an every second of every day of every week, of every month, of every year gift that should not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sanjo-jendayi/ving-self-and-others-is-an-every-second-of-every-day-of-every-week-of/) [Sanjo Jendayi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sanjo-jendayi/) > [Forgive yourself for not being the richest, the thinnest, the tallest, the one with the best hair. Forgive yourself for not being the most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seth-godin/forgive-yourself-for-not-being-the-richest-the-thinnest-the-tallest/) [Seth Godin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seth-godin/) > [If you can't forgive and forget, pick only one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-brault/if-you-can-t-forgive-and-forget-pick-only-one/) [Robert Brault](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-brault/) [Browse all 8,311 Forgiveness quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiveness/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“She did understand, or at least she understood that she was supposed to understand. She understood, and said nothing about it, and prayed for the power to forgive, and did forgive. But he can't have found living with her forgiveness all that easy. Breakfast in a haze of forgiveness: coffee with forgiveness, porridge with forgiveness, forgiveness on the buttered toast. He would have been helpless against it, for how can you repudiate something that is never spoken? She resented, too, the nurse, or the many nurses, who had attended my father in the various hospitals. She wished him to owe his recovery to her alone—to her care, to her tireless devotion. 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