--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It is the wicked deception of love that…" description: "\"It is the wicked deception of love that it begins by making us dwell not upon a woman in the outside world but upon a doll inside our head, the only wo..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dec/marcel-proust-114_arbitrary_it-is-the-wicked-deception-of-love-that_2955551.jpg" --- # It is the wicked deception of love that it begins by… ![“It is the wicked deception of love that it begins by making us dwell not upon a woman in the outside world but upon a doll inside our head, the only woman who is always available in fact, the only one we shall ever possess, whom the arbitrary nature of memory, almost as absolute as that of the…” quote by Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dec/marcel-proust-114_arbitrary_it-is-the-wicked-deception-of-love-that_2955551.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dec/marcel-proust-114_arbitrary_it-is-the-wicked-deception-of-love-that_2955551.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dec/marcel-proust-114_arbitrary_it-is-the-wicked-deception-of-love-that_2955551.jpg) > “It is the wicked deception of love that it begins by making us dwell not upon a woman in the outside world but upon a doll inside our head, the only woman who is always available in fact, the only one we shall ever possess, whom the arbitrary nature of memory, almost as absolute as that of the imagination, may have made as different from the real woman as the real Balbec had been from the Balbec I imagined- a dummy creation that little by little, to our own detriment, we shall force the real woman to resemble.” [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love can cause us to idealize an imagined partner, projecting fantasies onto a mental image that replaces real intimacy. **In simple terms:** We often love an imagined version more than the real person. Key Takeaway Beware of idealizing; seek genuine connection. Themes love idealization memory imagination relationships Mood reflective melancholic Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - romantic relationships - self‑reflection - therapy - creative writing - artistic analysis Key Concepts psychology subjective reality projection fictional constructs Questions to Reflect On - Do you prioritize fantasy over reality? - How does memory shape your expectations? A Different Perspective The imagined ideal can never fully satisfy real relational needs. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Creation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/creation/) [Deception](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deception/) [Dolls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dolls/) [Facts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/facts/) [Imagination](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/imagination/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Memories](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/memories/) [Nature](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nature/) [Outside world](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/outside-world/) [Real woman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real-woman/) [Real women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real-women/) [World](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/world/) ## Related quotes > [You're alive!" Fezzik cried. The man in black sat immobile, like a ventriloquist's dummy, just his mouth moving. "That is perhaps the most childishly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-goldman/you-re-alive-fezzik-cried-the-man-in-black-sat-immobile-like-a/) [William Goldman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-goldman/) > [I guess this is a bad time to mention I hung a dummy and painted Seneca Crane's name on it...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-collins/i-guess-this-is-a-bad-time-to-mention-i-hung-a-dummy-and-painted/) [Suzanne Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-collins/) > [CPR dummy looked like him and had clearly been stabbed. Repeatedly. In the groin. He thought she might have used the dummy for target…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gena-showalter/cpr-dummy-looked-like-him-and-had-clearly-been-stabbed-repeatedly-in/) [Gena Showalter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gena-showalter/) > [We can talk about the economy, we can talk about Social Security. The biggest problem this world has is nuclear proliferation. And we have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-trump/we-can-talk-about-the-economy-we-can-talk-about-social-security-the/) [Donald Trump](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-trump/) > [Ignoring for a moment the power of the American Medical Association, we still wouldn't see a huge amount of books on neurosurgery for dummies…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erik-naggum/ignoring-for-a-moment-the-power-of-the-american-medical-association/) [Erik Naggum](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erik-naggum/) > [When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and records and sat in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-dunham/when-i-was-eight-years-old-i-got-a-dummy-for-christmas-and-started/) [Jeff Dunham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-dunham/) > [Just remember: you're not a 'dummy,' no matter what those computer books claim. The real dummies are the people who-though technically expert-couldn't design hardware…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walt-mossberg/just-remember-you-re-not-a-dummy-no-matter-what-those-computer-books/) [Walt Mossberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walt-mossberg/) > [I just quit eating like a dummy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uncle-kracker/i-just-quit-eating-like-a-dummy/) [Uncle Kracker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uncle-kracker/) > [We used to say, There's nothing cool about being a dummy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rich-paul/we-used-to-say-there-s-nothing-cool-about-being-a-dummy/) [Rich Paul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rich-paul/) > [Always hire people who are better than you. Hiring dummies is shortsighted. You can't move up the ladder until everyone is comfortable with your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lois-wyse/always-hire-people-who-are-better-than-you-hiring-dummies-is/) [Lois Wyse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lois-wyse/) > [I hope people have pulled something about me and said "Hey Mr. T loves his mother, hey Mr. T ain't no dummy, hey Mr.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mr-t/i-hope-people-have-pulled-something-about-me-and-said-hey-mr-t-loves/) [Mr. T](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mr-t/) > [I aint giving yu nun bet's go find yu ah dummy !!!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author-name/i-aint-giving-yu-nun-bet-s-go-find-yu-ah-dummy/) Author Name > [My goal was to prove to my family I wasn't a dummy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-goodell/my-goal-was-to-prove-to-my-family-i-wasn-t-a-dummy/) [Roger Goodell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-goodell/) > [Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/somewhere-there-s-someone-who-s-masturbation-ritual-ends-with-them/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [Bell seated himself behind the desk, motioning for Nancy to stand opposite him. There was tense silence for a moment. Then Bell reached for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-keene/bell-seated-himself-behind-the-desk-motioning-for-nancy-to-stand/) [Carolyn Keene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-keene/) ## More by Marcel Proust > [“machinery' of life at Versailles; and was able, too, to persuade herself that her silence, a shade of good humour or of arrogance on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/machinery-of-life-at-versailles-and-was-able-too-to-persuade-herself/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [ “For her \[Françoise\], wealth was like a necessary condition without which virtue would lack both merit and charm. She made so little distinction between… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/for-her-fran-oise-wealth-was-like-a-necessary-condition-without-which/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [Knowing does not always allow us to prevent, but at least the things that we know, we hold them, if not in our hands,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/knowing-does-not-always-allow-us-to-prevent-but-at-least-the-things/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [Death is in truth an illness from which we recover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/death-is-in-truth-an-illness-from-which-we-recover/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [The bonds that unite another person to our self exist only in our mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/the-bonds-that-unite-another-person-to-our-self-exist-only-in-our-mind/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [...a writer's works, like the water in an artesian well, mount to a height which is in proportion to the depth to which suffering…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/a-writer-s-works-like-the-water-in-an-artesian-well-mount-to-a-height/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [“Then from those profound slumbers we awake in a dawn, not knowing who we are, being nobody, newly born, ready for anything, the brain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/then-from-those-profound-slumbers-we-awake-in-a-dawn-not-knowing-who/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [“Art extracted from the most familiar reality does indeed exist and its domain is perhaps the largest of any.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/art-extracted-from-the-most-familiar-reality-does-indeed-exist-and/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [I find very reasonable the Celtic belief that the souls of our dearly departed are trapped in some inferior being, in an animal, aplant,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/i-find-very-reasonable-the-celtic-belief-that-the-souls-of-our-dearly/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [“When you heard anyone in the middle of a talk which was being deliberately kept off the Affair announce furtively some piece of political…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/when-you-heard-anyone-in-the-middle-of-a-talk-which-was-being/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [“We betroth ourselves by proxy, and then feel obliged to marry the intermediary.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/we-betroth-ourselves-by-proxy-and-then-feel-obliged-to-marry-the/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [“But the old lady on the contrary, far from justifying her daughter’s fears, felt every time someone of her own age “disappeared” that she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/but-the-old-lady-on-the-contrary-far-from-justifying-her-daughter-s/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [Often it is just lack of imagination that keeps a man from suffering very much.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/often-it-is-just-lack-of-imagination-that-keeps-a-man-from-suffering/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [“When we are nice to others, we generally lose all claim to their respect.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/when-we-are-nice-to-others-we-generally-lose-all-claim-to-their/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [“Nobility is often no more than the inner aspect which our egotistical feelings assume when we have not yet named and classified them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/nobility-is-often-no-more-than-the-inner-aspect-which-our-egotistical/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) [Explore all 1,113 Marcel Proust quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) ## More Arbitrary quotes > [It is irresponsible to set an arbitrary cap on how much therapy a Medicare beneficiary can receive. 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Once you relieve…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-eisenberg/i-don-t-concern-myself-with-thinking-ahead-to-the-finished-product-i/) [Jesse Eisenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-eisenberg/) > [Habit is altogether too arbitrary a master for me to submit to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johann-kaspar-lavater/habit-is-altogether-too-arbitrary-a-master-for-me-to-submit-to/) [Johann Kaspar Lavater](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johann-kaspar-lavater/) > [I look back, now, and I know that the naming moment, which seemed so insignificant then, which seemed to demand no more than an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregory-david-roberts/i-look-back-now-and-i-know-that-the-naming-moment-which-seemed-so/) [Gregory David Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregory-david-roberts/) > [Police in China can do whatever they want; after 81 days in arbitrary detention you clearly realise that they don't have to obey their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ai-weiwei/police-in-china-can-do-whatever-they-want-after-81-days-in-arbitrary/) [Ai Weiwei](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ai-weiwei/) > [Contrary to what certain governments say, human rights are universal. 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