--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Unlike celibacy, which people choose…" description: "\"Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.\" — Mallory Ortberg" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ce/mallory-ortberg-7200_asexuality_unlike-celibacy-which-people-choose-asex_333040.jpg" --- # Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an… ![“Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.” quote by Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ce/mallory-ortberg-7200_asexuality_unlike-celibacy-which-people-choose-asex_333040.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ce/mallory-ortberg-7200_asexuality_unlike-celibacy-which-people-choose-asex_333040.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ce/mallory-ortberg-7200_asexuality_unlike-celibacy-which-people-choose-asex_333040.jpg) > “Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.” [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Asexuality is an inherent identity, not a chosen lifestyle like celibacy. **In simple terms:** Asexuality is innate. Key Takeaway Respect and recognize asexual identity. Themes identity sexuality choice selfacceptance Mood thoughtful empathetic Type informative advocacy When to use this quote - dating - workplace inclusion - healthcare discussions - education curricula Key Concepts gender studies sexual orientation intrinsic identity Questions to Reflect On - How does society differentiate between choice and identity? - What support do asexual people need? A Different Perspective May be misunderstood or dismissed as a phase. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Asexuality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asexuality/) [Asexuality Intrinsic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asexuality-intrinsic-3112399/) [Celibacy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/celibacy/) [Celibacy People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/celibacy-people-3112401/) [Choose Asexuality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choose-asexuality-3112398/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Sexuality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sexuality/) [Unlike Celibacy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unlike-celibacy-3112400/) [Who we are](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/who-we-are/) ## Related quotes > [Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/asexuality-does-not-make-our-lives-any-worse-or-any-better-we-just/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [“Darwin theorized that mankind (both male and female) evolved alongside each other over millions of years, both reproducing after their own kind before the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-comfort/darwin-theorized-that-mankind-both-male-and-female-evolved-alongside/) [Ray Comfort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-comfort/) > [“Those who tied love to sex, or even love to romance, didn’t own the emotion itself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-m-strickland/those-who-tied-love-to-sex-or-even-love-to-romance-didn-t-own-the/) [A.M. Strickland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-m-strickland/) > [“Why do I need the other half of the heart to fulfill my heart when I can stand up for myself with the only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pronlapin-tossawatvanit/why-do-i-need-the-other-half-of-the-heart-to-fulfill-my-heart-when-i/) [Pronlapin Tossawatvanit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pronlapin-tossawatvanit/) > [“I was worried about sex," he went on. "But you know what, Sulie? It's like being told I can't have any caviar for the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederik-pohl/i-was-worried-about-sex-he-went-on-but-you-know-what-sulie-it-s-like/) [Frederik Pohl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederik-pohl/) > [“This was always the difficult part, back when she'd been at her old school: explaining that "asexual" and "aromantic" were different things. She liked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seanan-mcguire/this-was-always-the-difficult-part-back-when-she-d-been-at-her-old/) [Seanan McGuire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seanan-mcguire/) > [“Not a robot, not a freak, not confused. Just a girl.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathryn-ormsbee/not-a-robot-not-a-freak-not-confused-just-a-girl/) [Kathryn Ormsbee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathryn-ormsbee/) > [“Kade was possibly the most beautiful boy she'd ever seen. She wanted to spend hours sitting with him and talking about pointless things. She…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seanan-mcguire/kade-was-possibly-the-most-beautiful-boy-she-d-ever-seen-she-wanted/) [Seanan McGuire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seanan-mcguire/) > [“Finally, he raised his hand and touched his fingers to his forehead. "I can give you this." He lowered his hand and pressed the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ada-maria-soto/finally-he-raised-his-hand-and-touched-his-fingers-to-his-forehead-i/) [Ada Maria Soto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ada-maria-soto/) > [“Why do humans use words that don’t mean what they actually mean?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arabella-sveinsdottir/why-do-humans-use-words-that-don-t-mean-what-they-actually-mean/) [Arabella Sveinsdottir](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arabella-sveinsdottir/) > [“Book: Ten Steps to Asexuality and Financial Freedom, by Lonely Path”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/book-ten-steps-to-asexuality-and-financial-freedom-by-lonely-path/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“People talk a lot about all the homosexuals there are to see in Greenwich Village, but it was all the neuters that caught my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kurt-vonnegut/people-talk-a-lot-about-all-the-homosexuals-there-are-to-see-in/) [Kurt Vonnegut](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kurt-vonnegut/) > [“I do not want to know things, I want to understand things. I want to answer every question ever posed me. I want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mackenzi-lee/i-do-not-want-to-know-things-i-want-to-understand-things-i-want-to/) [Mackenzi Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mackenzi-lee/) > [Darwin theorized that mankind (both male and female) evolved alongside each other over millions of years, both reproducing after their own kind before the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-comfort/darwin-theorized-that-mankind-both-male-and-female-evolved-alongside-2/) [Ray Comfort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-comfort/) > [“I know what I want and what I don’t want. I’ve never wanted sex. Never. I’ve never understood why it has to be in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathryn-ormsbee/i-know-what-i-want-and-what-i-don-t-want-i-ve-never-wanted-sex-never/) [Kathryn Ormsbee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathryn-ormsbee/) ## More by Mallory Ortberg > [Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/not-wanting-to-give-everyone-in-your-life-one-of-your-kidneys-is-not/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who "despises" having sex with her husband - and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/i-agree-that-biphobia-is-real-but-i-think-it-s-absolutely-worth/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [If you get a dog, take care of your dog! You can just not have a dog if you don't feel like taking care…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/if-you-get-a-dog-take-care-of-your-dog-you-can-just-not-have-a-dog-if/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/it-is-so-tempting-to-return-rudeness-with-rudeness/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [I think that it's a great idea to have honest conversations about children before getting married. I also think it's impossible to promise someone,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/i-think-that-it-s-a-great-idea-to-have-honest-conversations-about/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [Don't beat yourself up over what you dream about.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/don-t-beat-yourself-up-over-what-you-dream-about/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/one-of-the-glorious-things-about-being-a-person-in-the-world-is-that/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn't damage your partner.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/you-need-to-be-able-to-express-your-resentment-and-sense-of-loss-in-a/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/some-people-give-gifts-in-order-to-bewilder-confuse-and-manipulate/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/the-mere-idea-of-asking-a-family-member-if-they-intentionally-stopped/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/you-have-a-right-to-be-treated-professionally-at-work-and-it-s-your/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [We are all going to die, sometimes even in the middle of a lease.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/we-are-all-going-to-die-sometimes-even-in-the-middle-of-a-lease/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [o one is right when it comes to destination weddings. It’s a big ask, requesting people take time off work and fly off to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/o-one-is-right-when-it-comes-to-destination-weddings-it-s-a-big-ask/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [I love the art history ones because it's so little work for me. There's so many paintings that when I look at them, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/i-love-the-art-history-ones-because-it-s-so-little-work-for-me-there/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [You have a wonderful opportunity here to not care about something that doesn’t matter to you. Please don’t miss out on it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/you-have-a-wonderful-opportunity-here-to-not-care-about-something/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) [Explore all 93 Mallory Ortberg quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) ## More Asexuality quotes > [“Darwin theorized that mankind (both male and female) evolved alongside each other over millions of years, both reproducing after their own kind before the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-comfort/darwin-theorized-that-mankind-both-male-and-female-evolved-alongside/) [Ray Comfort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-comfort/) > [Darwin theorized that mankind (both male and female) evolved alongside each other over millions of years, both reproducing after their own kind before the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-comfort/darwin-theorized-that-mankind-both-male-and-female-evolved-alongside-2/) [Ray Comfort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-comfort/) > [“I do not want to know things, I want to understand things. I want to answer every question ever posed me. I want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mackenzi-lee/i-do-not-want-to-know-things-i-want-to-understand-things-i-want-to/) [Mackenzi Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mackenzi-lee/) > [“People talk a lot about all the homosexuals there are to see in Greenwich Village, but it was all the neuters that caught my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kurt-vonnegut/people-talk-a-lot-about-all-the-homosexuals-there-are-to-see-in/) [Kurt Vonnegut](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kurt-vonnegut/) > [“Book: Ten Steps to Asexuality and Financial Freedom, by Lonely Path”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/book-ten-steps-to-asexuality-and-financial-freedom-by-lonely-path/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Why do humans use words that don’t mean what they actually mean?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arabella-sveinsdottir/why-do-humans-use-words-that-don-t-mean-what-they-actually-mean/) [Arabella Sveinsdottir](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arabella-sveinsdottir/) > [“Finally, he raised his hand and touched his fingers to his forehead. "I can give you this." He lowered his hand and pressed the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ada-maria-soto/finally-he-raised-his-hand-and-touched-his-fingers-to-his-forehead-i/) [Ada Maria Soto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ada-maria-soto/) > [“Kade was possibly the most beautiful boy she'd ever seen. She wanted to spend hours sitting with him and talking about pointless things. She…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seanan-mcguire/kade-was-possibly-the-most-beautiful-boy-she-d-ever-seen-she-wanted/) [Seanan McGuire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seanan-mcguire/) > [“Not a robot, not a freak, not confused. Just a girl.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathryn-ormsbee/not-a-robot-not-a-freak-not-confused-just-a-girl/) [Kathryn Ormsbee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathryn-ormsbee/) > [“This was always the difficult part, back when she'd been at her old school: explaining that "asexual" and "aromantic" were different things. She liked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seanan-mcguire/this-was-always-the-difficult-part-back-when-she-d-been-at-her-old/) [Seanan McGuire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seanan-mcguire/) > [Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/asexuality-does-not-make-our-lives-any-worse-or-any-better-we-just/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [“I was worried about sex," he went on. "But you know what, Sulie? It's like being told I can't have any caviar for the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederik-pohl/i-was-worried-about-sex-he-went-on-but-you-know-what-sulie-it-s-like/) [Frederik Pohl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederik-pohl/) > [“Why do I need the other half of the heart to fulfill my heart when I can stand up for myself with the only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pronlapin-tossawatvanit/why-do-i-need-the-other-half-of-the-heart-to-fulfill-my-heart-when-i/) [Pronlapin Tossawatvanit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pronlapin-tossawatvanit/) > [“Those who tied love to sex, or even love to romance, didn’t own the emotion itself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-m-strickland/those-who-tied-love-to-sex-or-even-love-to-romance-didn-t-own-the/) [A.M. Strickland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-m-strickland/) > [“I know what I want and what I don’t want. I’ve never wanted sex. Never. I’ve never understood why it has to be in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathryn-ormsbee/i-know-what-i-want-and-what-i-don-t-want-i-ve-never-wanted-sex-never/) [Kathryn Ormsbee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathryn-ormsbee/) [Browse all 19 Asexuality quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/asexuality/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mallory Ortberg" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/unlike-celibacy-which-people-choose-asexuality-is-an-intrinsic-part/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Asexuality" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/unlike-celibacy-which-people-choose-asexuality-is-an-intrinsic-part/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ce/mallory-ortberg-7200_asexuality_unlike-celibacy-which-people-choose-asex_333040.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ce/mallory-ortberg-7200_asexuality_unlike-celibacy-which-people-choose-asex_333040.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ce/mallory-ortberg-7200_asexuality_unlike-celibacy-which-people-choose-asex_333040.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.” — Mallory Ortberg", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Mallory Ortberg", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/unlike-celibacy-which-people-choose-asexuality-is-an-intrinsic-part/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/unlike-celibacy-which-people-choose-asexuality-is-an-intrinsic-part/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```