--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I was not a good father in my first…" description: "\"I was not a good father in my first marriage. Although there are ways of deserting the family without leaving physically, I was deserted in my head. I ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b92/malachy-mccourt-10845_deserted_i-was-not-a-good-father-in-my-first-marr_3094872.jpg" --- # I was not a good father in my first marriage. Although… ![“I was not a good father in my first marriage. Although there are ways of deserting the family without leaving physically, I was deserted in my head. I was always out, always in the saloons, always drinking, always messing about.” quote by Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b92/malachy-mccourt-10845_deserted_i-was-not-a-good-father-in-my-first-marr_3094872.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b92/malachy-mccourt-10845_deserted_i-was-not-a-good-father-in-my-first-marr_3094872.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b92/malachy-mccourt-10845_deserted_i-was-not-a-good-father-in-my-first-marr_3094872.jpg) > “I was not a good father in my first marriage. Although there are ways of deserting the family without leaving physically, I was deserted in my head. I was always out, always in the saloons, always drinking, always messing about.” [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker admits failing as a father, describing emotional abandonment and chaotic behavior, revealing regret and self-awareness of past mistakes. **In simple terms:** Regrets poor fatherhood and chaos. Key Takeaway Seek redemption and healing. Themes family fatherhood regret addiction Mood somber hopeful Type personal reflective When to use this quote - counseling - reconciliation - personal change Key Concepts responsibility personal growth family dynamics Questions to Reflect On - How can you rebuild trust? - What steps toward change will you take? A Different Perspective Self-awareness may not fully repair harm caused. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Deserted](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deserted/) [Deserting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deserting-662344/) [Deserting Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deserting-family-5338090/) [Drinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/drinking/) [Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family/) [Father](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/father/) [Father Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/father-marriage-3890146/) [Firsts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/firsts/) [Good father](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/good-father/) [Leaving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/leaving/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Saloons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/saloons/) [Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/) [Ways Deserting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ways-deserting-5338091/) ## Related quotes > [Wives invariably flourish when deserted; ... it is the deserting male, the reckless idealist rushing about the world seeking a non-existent felicity, who often…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-mcfee/wives-invariably-flourish-when-deserted-it-is-the-deserting-male-the/) [William McFee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-mcfee/) > [When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant, and you sort of get a list from her every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-c-k/when-you-re-a-father-in-a-marriage-you-sort-of-become-the-mother-s-2/) [Louis C. K](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-c-k/) > [When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-c-k/when-you-re-a-father-in-a-marriage-you-sort-of-become-the-mother-s-4/) [Louis C. K](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-c-k/) > [“What if we have a child together?" His jaw dropped. "That won't happen. I don't need more kids." "What if I do?" "Then you'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sabine-ferruci/what-if-we-have-a-child-together-his-jaw-dropped-that-won-t-happen-i/) [Sabine Ferruci](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sabine-ferruci/) > [When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant, and you sort of get a list from her every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-c-k/when-you-re-a-father-in-a-marriage-you-sort-of-become-the-mother-s/) [Louis C. K](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-c-k/) > [When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-c-k/when-you-re-a-father-in-a-marriage-you-sort-of-become-the-mother-s-3/) [Louis C. K](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-c-k/) > [When I'm writing in long hand, it just goes on and on and on. When I was in the saloon business, I would just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/when-i-m-writing-in-long-hand-it-just-goes-on-and-on-and-on-when-i/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [Where are you my heart is searching but my mind is deserting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natalya-johnson/where-are-you-my-heart-is-searching-but-my-mind-is-deserting/) [Natalya Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natalya-johnson/) > [We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-r-murrow/we-cannot-defend-freedom-abroad-by-deserting-it-at-home/) [Edward R. Murrow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-r-murrow/) > [When our vices desert us, we flatter ourselves that we are deserting our vices.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francois-de-la-rochefoucauld/when-our-vices-desert-us-we-flatter-ourselves-that-we-are-deserting/) [Francois de La Rochefoucauld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francois-de-la-rochefoucauld/) > [When I saw what a mess everything was in I asked for my money back on the ticket. I would have felt I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-matisse/when-i-saw-what-a-mess-everything-was-in-i-asked-for-my-money-back-on/) [Henri Matisse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-matisse/) > [I'm getting very old and my bones ache. My sins are deserting me, and if I could only have my time over again I'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-l-sayers/i-m-getting-very-old-and-my-bones-ache-my-sins-are-deserting-me-and/) [Dorothy L. Sayers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-l-sayers/) > [I would never become an alcoholic like my father because my father deserted us. But diseases, there's no let up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/i-would-never-become-an-alcoholic-like-my-father-because-my-father/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [ Salvador \[Dali\] was brought up in Spain, a country colored by the legends of Hannibal, El Greco, and Cervantes. I was brought up in… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-thurber/salvador-dali-was-brought-up-in-spain-a-country-colored-by-the/) [James Thurber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-thurber/) > [Freedom in every sense but primarily political sense, a rise in repression that stems from a repression of sexuality. It's AIDS, it's herpes, it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-nicholson/freedom-in-every-sense-but-primarily-political-sense-a-rise-in/) [Jack Nicholson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-nicholson/) ## More by Malachy McCourt > [I see the way I look upon organized religion, I was a victim of that of mythology, and of cruelty, and all the absurd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/i-see-the-way-i-look-upon-organized-religion-i-was-a-victim-of-that/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [The Supreme Court gives corporations the same rights as a human being. It's absurd. You can't do that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/the-supreme-court-gives-corporations-the-same-rights-as-a-human-being/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [We are spectators to violence, and therefore are, how well we don't know and make sure we don't know the difference of real violence…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/we-are-spectators-to-violence-and-therefore-are-how-well-we-don-t/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [I would like to do away with all kind of - all weapons. A dream - totally. Including the bow an arrow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/i-would-like-to-do-away-with-all-kind-of-all-weapons-a-dream-totally/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [“Kenneth Tynan once said that the only people who can do Russian drama, outside of the Russians themselves, are the Irish. I presume that's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/kenneth-tynan-once-said-that-the-only-people-who-can-do-russian-drama/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [Do whatever you want because that's not what you are. That's what you do for the moment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/do-whatever-you-want-because-that-s-not-what-you-are-that-s-what-you/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [I absolutely love the public transportation system in New York. No matter what, no matter how people complain, it is the best in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/i-absolutely-love-the-public-transportation-system-in-new-york-no/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [When an English man speaks well, for example now, and this is another way of putting us down, they say he's "eloquent" you see.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/when-an-english-man-speaks-well-for-example-now-and-this-is-another/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [Once I know I'm an alcoholic then it is my obligation, duty to see what I can do about healing myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/once-i-know-i-m-an-alcoholic-then-it-is-my-obligation-duty-to-see/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [The alcoholism got me and I ruined my first marriage with drinking and the lying and the deceit and infidelity, and all of that.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/the-alcoholism-got-me-and-i-ruined-my-first-marriage-with-drinking/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/resentment-is-like-taking-poison-and-waiting-for-the-other-person-to/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [To lose one parent is a tragedy, to lose both is utter carelessness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/to-lose-one-parent-is-a-tragedy-to-lose-both-is-utter-carelessness/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [Organized religions have all the facets of organized crime, except the compassion of organized crime.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/organized-religions-have-all-the-facets-of-organized-crime-except-the/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [This is the place for me where every single dream I ever had came to fruition and I love it dearly. I love ya,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/this-is-the-place-for-me-where-every-single-dream-i-ever-had-came-to/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) > [To me a saint is a severely edited sinner. That's what I think.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malachy-mccourt/to-me-a-saint-is-a-severely-edited-sinner-that-s-what-i-think/) [Malachy McCourt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) [Explore all 63 Malachy McCourt quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malachy-mccourt/) ## More Deserted quotes > [Pentagon records show that at least 8,000 members of the all-volunteer U.S. Army have deserted since the Iraq war began. Hey, at least somebody…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tina-fey/pentagon-records-show-that-at-least-8-000-members-of-the-all/) [Tina Fey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tina-fey/) > [A woman may live without a lover, but a lover once admitted, she never goes through life with only one. She is deserted, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-bulwer-1st-baron-dalling-and-bulwer/a-woman-may-live-without-a-lover-but-a-lover-once-admitted-she-never/) [Henry Bulwer, 1st Baron Dalling and Bulwer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-bulwer-1st-baron-dalling-and-bulwer/) > [A nice pop star would do you nice on one of those deserted islands.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-felton/a-nice-pop-star-would-do-you-nice-on-one-of-those-deserted-islands/) [Tom Felton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-felton/) > [I deserted the world and sought solitude because I became tired of rendering courtesy to those multitudes who believe that humility is a sort…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-deserted-the-world-and-sought-solitude-because-i-became-tired-of/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Later the place was as deserted as Malcolm Muggeridge's Christmas party of fellow intellectuals.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-donaldson/later-the-place-was-as-deserted-as-malcolm-muggeridge-s-christmas/) [William Donaldson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-donaldson/) > [Wealth accumulates, and men decay.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-goldsmith/wealth-accumulates-and-men-decay/) [Oliver Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-goldsmith/) > [He who is always in a hurry to be wealthy and immersed in the study of augmenting his fortune has lost the arms of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/horace/he-who-is-always-in-a-hurry-to-be-wealthy-and-immersed-in-the-study/) [Horace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/horace/) > [Our hearts are breaking... We are lonely and deserted, sad and sick.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-murdoch-mackay/our-hearts-are-breaking-we-are-lonely-and-deserted-sad-and-sick/) [Alexander Murdoch Mackay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-murdoch-mackay/) > [Art as an aesthetic principle was supported by thousands of years of discernment and psychic rewards, but art as a commodity was held up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-martin/art-as-an-aesthetic-principle-was-supported-by-thousands-of-years-of/) [Steve Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-martin/) > [So he was deserted. The whole world was clamouring: Kill yourself, kill yourself, for our sakes. But why should he kill himself for their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/so-he-was-deserted-the-whole-world-was-clamouring-kill-yourself-kill/) [Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/) > [A great emigration necessarily implies unhappiness of some kind or other in the country that is deserted.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-malthus/a-great-emigration-necessarily-implies-unhappiness-of-some-kind-or/) [Thomas Malthus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-malthus/) > [“The the uncertainty was dispelled and the melancholy lifted as he saw a familiar stocky figure moving near one of the tents. "Halt!" he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-flanagan/the-the-uncertainty-was-dispelled-and-the-melancholy-lifted-as-he-saw/) [John Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-flanagan/) > [God never deserts a man, unless He is deserted by that man first. For even if a man shall have committed grievous sins once,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caesarius-of-arles/god-never-deserts-a-man-unless-he-is-deserted-by-that-man-first-for/) [Caesarius of Arles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caesarius-of-arles/) > [The rise of broadband and growing ubiquity of Internet access excites me the most. The world changes a lot when, no matter where you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-mullenweg/the-rise-of-broadband-and-growing-ubiquity-of-internet-access-excites/) [Matt Mullenweg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-mullenweg/) > [It was one of those somber evenings when the sighing of the wind resembles the moans of a dying man; a storm was brewing,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfred-de-musset/it-was-one-of-those-somber-evenings-when-the-sighing-of-the-wind/) [Alfred de Musset](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfred-de-musset/) [Browse all 175 Deserted quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deserted/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I was not a good father in my first marriage. Although there are ways of deserting the family without leaving physically, I was deserted in my head. 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