--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It is the first time I realize just how…" description: "\"“It is the first time I realize just how much this has taken a toll on my parents. Not the toll of recovering from cancer, or worrying about the bills...." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/858/m-starks-101155_fear_it-is-the-first-time-i-realize-just-how_2118397.jpg" --- # It is the first time I realize just how much this has… ![“It is the first time I realize just how much this has taken a toll on my parents. Not the toll of recovering from cancer, or worrying about the bills. The toll paid with fear. A way of life altered completely. Our lives are now on display for those in the community to judge. I imagine there is a…” quote by M. Starks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/858/m-starks-101155_fear_it-is-the-first-time-i-realize-just-how_2118397.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/858/m-starks-101155_fear_it-is-the-first-time-i-realize-just-how_2118397.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/858/m-starks-101155_fear_it-is-the-first-time-i-realize-just-how_2118397.jpg) > ““It is the first time I realize just how much this has taken a toll on my parents. Not the toll of recovering from cancer, or worrying about the bills. The toll paid with fear. A way of life altered completely. Our lives are now on display for those in the community to judge. I imagine there is a before and after for my parents as well. Before the girls went missing and our lives were normal. After one of the kids is found and the other isn't.”” [M. Starks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-starks/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The hidden toll of fear on parents after a child’s disappearance reshapes family life and community perception. **In simple terms:** Fear reshapes family life. Key Takeaway Address fear openly and seek support. Themes fear family trauma community judgment Mood anxious somber empathetic Type Fear:1 First time:0 Life:0 Parenting:0 Recovering:0 Time:0 Way of life:0 Missing Lives:0 Life Altered:0 Imagine Parents:0 Parents Toll:1 When to use this quote - counseling - support groups - public awareness campaigns Key Concepts psychological impact grief social stigma Questions to Reflect On - How does fear affect your daily decisions? - What support can families find? A Different Perspective Stigma may silence help‑seeking. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [First time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/first-time/) [Imagine Parents](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/imagine-parents-4305284/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Life Altered](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life-altered-3845873/) [Missing Lives](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/missing-lives-2870233/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Parents Toll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parents-toll-4309221/) [Recovering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/recovering/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Way of life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way-of-life/) ## Related quotes > [And while he was doing those things, he thought about Allie and the love that was missing from both their lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-sparks/and-while-he-was-doing-those-things-he-thought-about-allie-and-the/) [Nicholas Sparks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholas-sparks/) > [All of us have the capacity to attract to ourselves what seems to be missing in our lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayne-dyer/all-of-us-have-the-capacity-to-attract-to-ourselves-what-seems-to-be/) [Wayne Dyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wayne-dyer/) > [We never know how much has been missing from our lives until a true writer comes along.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfred-kazin/we-never-know-how-much-has-been-missing-from-our-lives-until-a-true/) [Alfred Kazin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfred-kazin/) > [If parents shield their children from real feelings, kids falsely imagine their parents are in constant control of themselves - and may try to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-simmons/if-parents-shield-their-children-from-real-feelings-kids-falsely/) [Rachel Simmons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-simmons/) > [I think there's a level of ignorance, when, in the callowness of youth, you imagine that you are inventing the world for the first…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mira-nair/i-think-there-s-a-level-of-ignorance-when-in-the-callowness-of-youth/) [Mira Nair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mira-nair/) > [“I imagine my parents would very much relish having an angel for a son. Who, after all, would not?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-hartnett/i-imagine-my-parents-would-very-much-relish-having-an-angel-for-a-son/) [Sonya Hartnett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-hartnett/) > [I don't have children, but I imagine if parents are really pushed on the subject, they probably have favorite children.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/moby/i-don-t-have-children-but-i-imagine-if-parents-are-really-pushed-on/) [Moby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/moby/) > [I don't imagine my parents are too excited about my kind of life. The surrounding weirdness bothers them. Still, I think they're pretty good.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/grace-slick/i-don-t-imagine-my-parents-are-too-excited-about-my-kind-of-life-the/) [Grace Slick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/grace-slick/) > [“Life had altered in the wildest possible way, but it was imperative that they act as if nothing at all had happened.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/markus-zusak/life-had-altered-in-the-wildest-possible-way-but-it-was-imperative/) [Markus Zusak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/markus-zusak/) > [I couldn't think. The basics of my life seemed altered and thrown into question. After all, our families--our ancestors--are our identities. Biology is destiny.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aimee-friedman/i-couldn-t-think-the-basics-of-my-life-seemed-altered-and-thrown-into/) [Aimee Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aimee-friedman/) > [“Ever since the crying incident a few of months ago, my life has altered in more ways than one.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-sorensen/ever-since-the-crying-incident-a-few-of-months-ago-my-life-has/) [Jessica Sorensen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-sorensen/) > [An irrelevance, and your life's altered.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aldous-huxley/an-irrelevance-and-your-life-s-altered/) [Aldous Huxley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aldous-huxley/) > [“Things changed. Things that defined your life altered and shifted while you weren't paying attention. Sometimes you didn't even notice until you missed them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-reynolds-page/things-changed-things-that-defined-your-life-altered-and-shifted/) [Jean Reynolds Page](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-reynolds-page/) > [“Life had altered in the wildest possible way, but it was imperative that they act as if nothing at all had happened. Imagine smiling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/markus-zusak/life-had-altered-in-the-wildest-possible-way-but-it-was-imperative-2/) [Markus Zusak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/markus-zusak/) > [The goal of spiritual life is not altered states, but altered traits](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/huston-smith/the-goal-of-spiritual-life-is-not-altered-states-but-altered-traits/) [Huston Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/huston-smith/) ## More by M. Starks > [“Gran runs her fingers through my hair, smiling down at me. I'm to weak to reach up and trace her laugh lines, but I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-starks/gran-runs-her-fingers-through-my-hair-smiling-down-at-me-i-m-to-weak/) [M. Starks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-starks/) [Explore all 2 M. Starks quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-starks/) ## More Fear quotes > [This may sound strange, but although I feel like I know everything about my characters, the brand of shampoo they use, how many cavities…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/this-may-sound-strange-but-although-i-feel-like-i-know-everything/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“That horrible stinging sensation returned, the muscles behind my eyes straining as the first tear began to fall. “I’m scared, too. For eighteen months…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/devon-ashley/that-horrible-stinging-sensation-returned-the-muscles-behind-my-eyes/) [Devon Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/devon-ashley/) > [“...Often that which most we fear births the resolve that spurs us on to altitudes we could not have achieved, had we continued walking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-t-anderson/often-that-which-most-we-fear-births-the-resolve-that-spurs-us-on-to/) [M.T. Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-t-anderson/) > [What an incredible drug fear is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/what-an-incredible-drug-fear-is/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [“Anything that you find yourself worrying about regularly may find you suddenly wanting unrealistic changes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nagisa-tatsumi/anything-that-you-find-yourself-worrying-about-regularly-may-find-you/) [Nagisa Tatsumi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nagisa-tatsumi/) > [“We all know how the thing we secretly fear is not a secret at all but the open and eternal thing that predicts its…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-delillo/we-all-know-how-the-thing-we-secretly-fear-is-not-a-secret-at-all-but/) [Don DeLillo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-delillo/) > [When you're scared - and I mean really scared, not just hearing a noise in the night, or standing toe to toe with someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-gordon-smith/when-you-re-scared-and-i-mean-really-scared-not-just-hearing-a-noise/) [Alexander Gordon Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-gordon-smith/) > [“I had nowhere to go and did not wish to be seen by anyone for fear they would recognize my sadness and so for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-dewitt/i-had-nowhere-to-go-and-did-not-wish-to-be-seen-by-anyone-for-fear/) [Patrick deWitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-dewitt/) > [It's easier to change a law than an age-old mentality. Deep down, many prejudices, many hostilities, many fears persist. But if we take a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dacia-maraini/it-s-easier-to-change-a-law-than-an-age-old-mentality-deep-down-many/) [Dacia Maraini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dacia-maraini/) > [“Snip off the little worries and expressions of worry” like little branches atop a tall tree.28 If you are truly worried, sharing your concerns…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-sanders/snip-off-the-little-worries-and-expressions-of-worry-like-little/) [Tim Sanders](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-sanders/) > [“Fear and desire for pleasure. Aggressiveness comes out of fear, predominantly, and sexuality predominantly out of the other. But they mix in the middle.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-french/fear-and-desire-for-pleasure-aggressiveness-comes-out-of-fear/) [Marilyn French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilyn-french/) > [“Carrie Fisher. “Stay afraid, but do it anyway.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-union/carrie-fisher-stay-afraid-but-do-it-anyway/) [Gabrielle Union](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-union/) > [“Yes, the issue was courage. It always had been, even as a kid. Things scared him. He couldn't help it. Noise scared him, dark…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-o-brien/yes-the-issue-was-courage-it-always-had-been-even-as-a-kid-things/) [Tim O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-o-brien/) > [Don't be afraid of hard work. Nothing worthwhile comes easily. Don't let others discourage you or tell you that you can't do it. In…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gertrude-b-elion/don-t-be-afraid-of-hard-work-nothing-worthwhile-comes-easily-don-t/) [Gertrude B. Elion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gertrude-b-elion/) > [Let me tell you that atheism has never painted a masterpiece. Atheism has never dispelled fear. Atheism has never healed a disease; faith in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-hagee/let-me-tell-you-that-atheism-has-never-painted-a-masterpiece-atheism/) [John Hagee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-hagee/) [Browse all 35,569 Fear quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It is the first time I realize just how much this has taken a toll on my parents. Not the toll of recovering from cancer, or worrying about the bills. The toll paid with fear. A way of life altered completely. Our lives are now on display for those in the community to judge. I imagine there is a before and after for my parents as well. Before the girls went missing and our lives were normal. After one of the kids is found and the other isn't.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "M. Starks" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-starks/it-is-the-first-time-i-realize-just-how-much-this-has-taken-a-toll-on/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Fear" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-starks/it-is-the-first-time-i-realize-just-how-much-this-has-taken-a-toll-on/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/858/m-starks-101155_fear_it-is-the-first-time-i-realize-just-how_2118397.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/858/m-starks-101155_fear_it-is-the-first-time-i-realize-just-how_2118397.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/858/m-starks-101155_fear_it-is-the-first-time-i-realize-just-how_2118397.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It is the first time I realize just how much this has taken a toll on my parents. Not the toll of recovering…” — M. Starks", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "M. Starks", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-starks/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“It is the first time I...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-starks/it-is-the-first-time-i-realize-just-how-much-this-has-taken-a-toll-on/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-starks/it-is-the-first-time-i-realize-just-how-much-this-has-taken-a-toll-on/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```