--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If falling in love is not love, then what…" description: "\"“If falling in love is not love, then what is it other than a temporary and partial collapse of ego boundaries? I do not know. But the sexual specifici..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea1/m-scott-peck-1921_falling-in-love_if-falling-in-love-is-not-love-then-what_799119.png" --- # If falling in love is not love, then what is it other than… ![“If falling in love is not love, then what is it other than a temporary and partial collapse of ego boundaries? I do not know. But the sexual specificity of the phenomenon leads me to suspect that it is a genetically determined instinctual component of mating behavior. In other words, the temporary…” quote by M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea1/m-scott-peck-1921_falling-in-love_if-falling-in-love-is-not-love-then-what_799119.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea1/m-scott-peck-1921_falling-in-love_if-falling-in-love-is-not-love-then-what_799119.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea1/m-scott-peck-1921_falling-in-love_if-falling-in-love-is-not-love-then-what_799119.png) > ““If falling in love is not love, then what is it other than a temporary and partial collapse of ego boundaries? I do not know. But the sexual specificity of the phenomenon leads me to suspect that it is a genetically determined instinctual component of mating behavior. In other words, the temporary collapse of ego boundaries that constitutes falling in love is a stereotypic response of human beings to a configuration of internal sexual drives and external sexual stimuli, which serves to increase the probability of sexual pairing and bonding so as to enhance the survival of the species. Or to put it in another, rather crass way, falling in love is a trick that our genes pull on our otherwise perceptive mind to hoodwink or trap us into marriage. Frequently the trick goes awry one way or another, as when the sexual drives and stimuli are homosexual or when other forces-parental interference, mental illness, conflicting responsibilities or mature self-disciplinesupervene to prevent the bonding. On the other hand, without this trick, this illusory and inevitably temporary (it would not be practical were it not temporary) regression to infantile merging and omnipotence, many of us who are happily or unhappily married today would have retreated in whole- hearted terror from the realism of the marriage vows.”” [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love is described as a temporary, genetically driven collapse of ego boundaries that promotes mating and bonding, but can be disrupted by various personal and social factors. **In simple terms:** Love is a short‑term ego merge that helps mating. Key Takeaway Recognize love’s biological roots and its limits. Themes love biology relationships evolution psychology Mood reflective analytical thoughtful Type philosophical psychological When to use this quote - romantic relationships - marriage counseling - sexual identity - mental health challenges - family dynamics Key Concepts instinct ego collapse pairing bonding species survival Questions to Reflect On - How does recognizing love’s evolutionary purpose affect your relationships? - Can love be fully explained by biology alone? A Different Perspective The biological view may oversimplify complex emotional experiences and cultural influences. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Falling in love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/falling-in-love/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Marriage vows](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage-vows/) [Mating](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mating/) [Mental illness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mental-illness/) [Motivation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/motivation/) ## Related quotes > [When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. 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You have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shawn-slovo/love-is-a-temporary-madness-it-erupts-like-volcanoes-and-then-2/) Shawn Slovo > [I temporarily lost my hope in love, and it was temporary, thank goodness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shania-twain/i-temporarily-lost-my-hope-in-love-and-it-was-temporary-thank-goodness/) [Shania Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shania-twain/) > [Typical Love is only temporary, but those who know how to appreciate, love is Immutable and Eternal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alec-walker/typical-love-is-only-temporary-but-those-who-know-how-to-appreciate/) Alec Walker > [“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/love-is-a-temporary-madness-it-erupts-like-volcanoes-and-then/) [Louis De Bernieres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/) > [When you fall in love it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides, you have to make a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-you-fall-in-love-it-is-a-temporary-madness-it-erupts-like-an-3/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Love was temporary. So was lust. And happiness, confidence, trust. And marriage. Especially that”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victoria-helen-stone/love-was-temporary-so-was-lust-and-happiness-confidence-trust-and/) [Victoria Helen Stone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victoria-helen-stone/) > [“When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. 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You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/saint-augustine/love-is-a-temporary-madness-it-erupts-like-an-earthquake-and-then-2/) [Saint Augustine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/saint-augustine/) > [Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/love-is-a-temporary-madness-it-erupts-like-an-earthquake-and-then/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Love, n. The folly of thinking much of another before one knows anything of oneself. Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harlan-ellison/love-n-the-folly-of-thinking-much-of-another-before-one-knows/) [Harlan Ellison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harlan-ellison/) ## More by M. Scott Peck > [But I already saw no great difference between the psyche and spirituality. 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Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [The act of loving is an act of self-evolution even when the purpose of the act is someone else's growth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/the-act-of-loving-is-an-act-of-self-evolution-even-when-the-purpose/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [“Benjamin Franklin said, “Those things that hurt, instruct.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/benjamin-franklin-said-those-things-that-hurt-instruct/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [Abandon the urge to simplify everything, to look for formulas and easy answers, and to begin to think multidimensionally, to glory in the mystery…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/abandon-the-urge-to-simplify-everything-to-look-for-formulas-and-easy/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [Listening well is an exercise of attention and by necessity hard work. 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No exceptions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/there-is-no-act-of-love-that-is-not-an-act-of-work-or-courage-no/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [To be free people we must assume total responsibility for ourselves, but in doing so must possess the capacity to reject responsibility that is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/to-be-free-people-we-must-assume-total-responsibility-for-ourselves/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) [Explore all 198 M. Scott Peck quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) ## More Falling in love quotes > [Two things revolutionised life: moving to the countryside and falling in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-love/two-things-revolutionised-life-moving-to-the-countryside-and-falling/) [Nick Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-love/) > [I'm just a girl trying to find a way in this world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-m-just-a-girl-trying-to-find-a-way-in-this-world/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“It is like falling in love. If you can notice, the grass is greener, the sky is bluer and the air is fresher. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahla-khan/it-is-like-falling-in-love-if-you-can-notice-the-grass-is-greener-the/) [Shahla Khan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahla-khan/) > [When you fall in love for the first time, you're naive to every feeling that you're feeling, and you're almost obsessed with or addicted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alex-pettyfer/when-you-fall-in-love-for-the-first-time-you-re-naive-to-every/) [Alex Pettyfer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alex-pettyfer/) > [“Falling in love is easy. Fools fall in love all the time. Staying in love is the test of time and the gift you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-a-murphy/falling-in-love-is-easy-fools-fall-in-love-all-the-time-staying-in/) [James A. Murphy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-a-murphy/) > [When we first met, I didn't want to get involved with anyone. I didn't have the time or energy, and I wasn't sure that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-sparks/when-we-first-met-i-didn-t-want-to-get-involved-with-anyone-i-didn-t/) [Nicholas Sparks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholas-sparks/) > [My life always came first. When I got nominated for Diary of a Mad Housewife, I didn't think, 'Aah, now I'll get more money.'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carrie-snodgress/my-life-always-came-first-when-i-got-nominated-for-diary-of-a-mad/) [Carrie Snodgress](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carrie-snodgress/) > [“Falling in love is not the problem; hitting your head on the way down is.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matshona-dhliwayo/falling-in-love-is-not-the-problem-hitting-your-head-on-the-way-down/) [Matshona Dhliwayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matshona-dhliwayo/) > [We are not too close in distance, we are not too near in mils. but text can touch our hearts and thoughts can make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharlene05/we-are-not-too-close-in-distance-we-are-not-too-near-in-mils-but-text/) Sharlene05 > [Even people who can't communicate can fall in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaejoong/even-people-who-can-t-communicate-can-fall-in-love/) [Jaejoong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaejoong/) > [“What?" I ask. I try not to get snappy with her. She hasn't really done anything wrong. Falling in love with Turner isn't a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-m-stunich/what-i-ask-i-try-not-to-get-snappy-with-her-she-hasn-t-really-done/) [C.M. Stunich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-m-stunich/) > [Having a point to start is important. You know that when you decide to write something it's like a commitment. It's like falling in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isabel-allende/having-a-point-to-start-is-important-you-know-that-when-you-decide-to/) [Isabel Allende](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isabel-allende/) > [Consider developing your whole self with the same raw focus and intensity that you develop a particular skill set. Get focused. 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