--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Dependency may appear to be love because…" description: "\"“Dependency may appear to be love because it is a force that causes people to fiercely attach themselves to one another. But in actuality it is not lov..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d0/m-scott-peck-1921_dependency_dependency-may-appear-to-be-love-because_375928.png" --- # Dependency may appear to be love because it is a force… ![“Dependency may appear to be love because it is a force that causes people to fiercely attach themselves to one another. But in actuality it is not love; it is a form of antilove. It has its genesis in a parental failure to love and it perpetuates the failure. It seeks to receive rather than to…” quote by M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d0/m-scott-peck-1921_dependency_dependency-may-appear-to-be-love-because_375928.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d0/m-scott-peck-1921_dependency_dependency-may-appear-to-be-love-because_375928.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d0/m-scott-peck-1921_dependency_dependency-may-appear-to-be-love-because_375928.png) > ““Dependency may appear to be love because it is a force that causes people to fiercely attach themselves to one another. But in actuality it is not love; it is a form of antilove. It has its genesis in a parental failure to love and it perpetuates the failure. It seeks to receive rather than to give. It nourishes infantilism rather than growth. It works to trap and constrict rather than to liberate. Ultimately it destroys rather than builds relationships, and it destroys rather than builds people.”” [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Describes dependency as a destructive, immature attachment that masquerades as love, stemming from unmet parental love. **In simple terms:** Dependency is not love; it's a trap. Key Takeaway Seek healthy, reciprocal relationships. Themes psychology relationships self‑growth Mood introspective critical Type therapeutic philosophical When to use this quote - counseling - personal development - relationship building Key Concepts attachment theory emotional maturity family dynamics Questions to Reflect On - What patterns of dependency do you notice? - How can you foster giving rather than receiving? A Different Perspective Overcoming dependency requires confronting deep‑seated fears. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Builds Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/builds-relationships-1157018/) [Dependency](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dependency/) [Failure](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/failure/) [Failure Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/failure-love-413490/) [Form Antilove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/form-antilove-3419633/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships/) [Relationships Destroys](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships-destroys-3419634/) ## Related quotes > [I wanted to keep that message of food and family alive, and how it brings people together and builds relationships and communication.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ayesha-curry/i-wanted-to-keep-that-message-of-food-and-family-alive-and-how-it/) [Ayesha Curry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ayesha-curry/) > [There's a spectrum of those moments of connection and the moments we fail to connect, going from super-large successes to failures. Success would be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aimee-bender/there-s-a-spectrum-of-those-moments-of-connection-and-the-moments-we/) [Aimee Bender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aimee-bender/) > [“The second most common misconception about love is the idea that dependency is love...Its effect is seen most dramatically in an individual who makes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/the-second-most-common-misconception-about-love-is-the-idea-that/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [“Specifically, one whose life is ruled and dictated by dependency needs suffers from a psychiatric disorder to which we ascribe the diagnostic name "passive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/specifically-one-whose-life-is-ruled-and-dictated-by-dependency-needs/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [The end of a relationship is not always a failure. Sometimes all the love in the world is not enough to save something. In…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-end-of-a-relationship-is-not-always-a-failure-sometimes-all-the/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-burns/i-honestly-think-it-is-better-to-be-a-failure-at-something-you-love/) [George Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-burns/) > [I'd rather be a failure in something that I love than a success in something that I hate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-burns/i-d-rather-be-a-failure-in-something-that-i-love-than-a-success-in/) [George Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-burns/) > [I'm allergic to cheatin' and I hate failure. And I am in love with achievement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lil-wayne/i-m-allergic-to-cheatin-and-i-hate-failure-and-i-am-in-love-with/) [Lil Wayne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lil-wayne/) > [It is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/it-is-better-to-be-a-failure-at-something-you-love-than-to-be-a/) [Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/) > [Failure to love is almost like murder.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/boris-pasternak/failure-to-love-is-almost-like-murder/) [Boris Pasternak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/boris-pasternak/) > [Fall in love with what you're going to do for a living. To be able to get out of bed and do what you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-burns/fall-in-love-with-what-you-re-going-to-do-for-a-living-to-be-able-to/) [George Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-burns/) > [I'm interested in stories which insist on a dog fails-to-eat-dog kind of world. I hate misanthropy, want to believe that there's a possibility that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-minghella/i-m-interested-in-stories-which-insist-on-a-dog-fails-to-eat-dog-kind/) [Anthony Minghella](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-minghella/) > [I hate failure and I am in love with achievement.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lil-wayne/i-hate-failure-and-i-am-in-love-with-achievement/) [Lil Wayne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lil-wayne/) > [My whole life so far, my whole experience has been that our failure has been not to love enough. This conviction brought me to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-day/my-whole-life-so-far-my-whole-experience-has-been-that-our-failure/) [Dorothy Day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-day/) > [In love, there is no distinction between success and failure. If love remains then even separation is union otherwise even union is separation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wasif-ali-wasif/in-love-there-is-no-distinction-between-success-and-failure-if-love/) [Wasif Ali Wasif](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wasif-ali-wasif/) ## More by M. Scott Peck > [But I already saw no great difference between the psyche and spirituality. To amass knowledge without becoming wise is not my idea of progress…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/but-i-already-saw-no-great-difference-between-the-psyche-and/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [As I grow through love, so grows my joy, ever more present, ever more constant.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/as-i-grow-through-love-so-grows-my-joy-ever-more-present-ever-more/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [“Life is difficult.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/life-is-difficult/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [“The second most common misconception about love is the idea that dependency is love...Its effect is seen most dramatically in an individual who makes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/the-second-most-common-misconception-about-love-is-the-idea-that/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [Although I was raised in a profoundly secular home, I had a belief, an awareness of God, from as far back as I can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/although-i-was-raised-in-a-profoundly-secular-home-i-had-a-belief-an/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [I've gone to great lengths not to be a guru. I think the notion of guruhood is utterly pathological, and I couldn't live that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/i-ve-gone-to-great-lengths-not-to-be-a-guru-i-think-the-notion-of/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [The whole course of human history may depend on a change of heart in one solitary and even humble individual - for it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/the-whole-course-of-human-history-may-depend-on-a-change-of-heart-in/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [The act of loving is an act of self-evolution even when the purpose of the act is someone else's growth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/the-act-of-loving-is-an-act-of-self-evolution-even-when-the-purpose/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [“Benjamin Franklin said, “Those things that hurt, instruct.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/benjamin-franklin-said-those-things-that-hurt-instruct/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [Abandon the urge to simplify everything, to look for formulas and easy answers, and to begin to think multidimensionally, to glory in the mystery…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/abandon-the-urge-to-simplify-everything-to-look-for-formulas-and-easy/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [Listening well is an exercise of attention and by necessity hard work. It is because they do not realize this or because they are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/listening-well-is-an-exercise-of-attention-and-by-necessity-hard-work/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [“It is not selfishness or unselfishness that distinguishes love from non-love; it is the aim of the action.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/it-is-not-selfishness-or-unselfishness-that-distinguishes-love-from/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [Love is too large, too deep ever to be truly understood or measured or limited within the framework of words.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/love-is-too-large-too-deep-ever-to-be-truly-understood-or-measured-or/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [There is no act of love that is not an act of work or courage. No exceptions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/there-is-no-act-of-love-that-is-not-an-act-of-work-or-courage-no/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [To be free people we must assume total responsibility for ourselves, but in doing so must possess the capacity to reject responsibility that is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/to-be-free-people-we-must-assume-total-responsibility-for-ourselves/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) [Explore all 198 M. Scott Peck quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) ## More Dependency quotes > [A lot of energy is lost to false teachers. Wherever dependency is created, energy is lost.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/a-lot-of-energy-is-lost-to-false-teachers-wherever-dependency-is/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [“The second most common misconception about love is the idea that dependency is love...Its effect is seen most dramatically in an individual who makes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-scott-peck/the-second-most-common-misconception-about-love-is-the-idea-that/) [M. Scott Peck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-scott-peck/) > [I do not want to get rid of the safety net, I want to get rid of dependency.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-carson/i-do-not-want-to-get-rid-of-the-safety-net-i-want-to-get-rid-of/) [Benjamin Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-carson/) > [Dependency arguments often come from elites - either aid agencies or governments - and say something about attitudes to poor people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-harvey/dependency-arguments-often-come-from-elites-either-aid-agencies-or/) [Paul Harvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-harvey/) > [In such a government as ours no man is appointed to an office because he is the fittest for it--nor hardly in any other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-johnson/in-such-a-government-as-ours-no-man-is-appointed-to-an-office-because/) [Samuel Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-johnson/) > [The exploitation agenda advocated by liberals is modeled after the dependency-inducing design of the drug dealer's business model: "We'll supply the first hit for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angela-mcglowan/the-exploitation-agenda-advocated-by-liberals-is-modeled-after-the/) [Angela McGlowan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angela-mcglowan/) > [“The rich man is always sold to the institution which makes him rich.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/the-rich-man-is-always-sold-to-the-institution-which-makes-him-rich/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [“The rise or fall, success or failure of your dreams is largely dependent on the association you build yourself around.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/israelmore-ayivor/the-rise-or-fall-success-or-failure-of-your-dreams-is-largely/) [Israelmore Ayivor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/israelmore-ayivor/) > [If you depend on your company to take care of your retirement, your future income will be divided by five. Take care of it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-rohn/if-you-depend-on-your-company-to-take-care-of-your-retirement-your/) [Jim Rohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-rohn/) > [A careless way of sauntering across the earth and breaking open its treasures, a terrible dependency on sucking out the world's best juices for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/a-careless-way-of-sauntering-across-the-earth-and-breaking-open-its/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [“This context dependency means that rather than causing X, testosterone amplifies the power of something else to cause X.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-m-sapolsky/this-context-dependency-means-that-rather-than-causing-x-testosterone/) [Robert M. Sapolsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-m-sapolsky/) > [I was particularly talking with respect to aid, because that to me is one area that can make people so dependent, and unfortunately, that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wangari-maathai/i-was-particularly-talking-with-respect-to-aid-because-that-to-me-is/) [Wangari Maathai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wangari-maathai/) > [It science involves an intelligent and persistent endeavor to revise current beliefs so as to weed out what is erroneous, to add to their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dewey/it-science-involves-an-intelligent-and-persistent-endeavor-to-revise/) [John Dewey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dewey/) > [To me, DIY means minimizing dependency on what others make for me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fumio-sasaki/to-me-diy-means-minimizing-dependency-on-what-others-make-for-me/) [Fumio Sasaki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fumio-sasaki/) > [We’re supposed to depend upon God for our protection and our provision and for our daily bread, not for our government.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharron-angle/we-re-supposed-to-depend-upon-god-for-our-protection-and-our/) [Sharron Angle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharron-angle/) [Browse all 201 Dependency quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dependency/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Dependency may appear to be love because it is a force that causes people to fiercely attach themselves to one another. 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