--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It was them and not them, maybe the ones…" description: "\"“It was them and not them, maybe the ones they’d never been. I could almost see those others standing in the garden where the pea plants were, feet pla..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e9/lydia-millet-20356_adults_it-was-them-and-not-them-maybe-the-ones_2485508.jpg" --- # It was them and not them, maybe the ones they’d never… ![“It was them and not them, maybe the ones they’d never been. I could almost see those others standing in the garden where the pea plants were, feet planted between the rows. They stood without moving, their faces glowing with some shine a long time gone. A time before I lived. Their arms hung at…” quote by Lydia Millet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e9/lydia-millet-20356_adults_it-was-them-and-not-them-maybe-the-ones_2485508.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e9/lydia-millet-20356_adults_it-was-them-and-not-them-maybe-the-ones_2485508.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e9/lydia-millet-20356_adults_it-was-them-and-not-them-maybe-the-ones_2485508.jpg) > ““It was them and not them, maybe the ones they’d never been. I could almost see those others standing in the garden where the pea plants were, feet planted between the rows. They stood without moving, their faces glowing with some shine a long time gone. A time before I lived. Their arms hung at their sides. They’d always been there, I thought blearily, and they’d always wanted to be more than they were. They should always be thought of as invalids, I saw. Each person, fully grown, was sick or sad, with problems attached to them like broken limbs. Each one had special needs. If you could remember that, it made you less angry. They’d been carried along on their hopes, held up by the chance of a windfall. But instead of a windfall there was only time passing. And all they ever were was themselves. Still they had wanted to be different. I would assume that from now on, I told myself, wandering back into the barn. What people wanted to be, but never could, traveled along beside them. Company.”” [Lydia Millet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lydia-millet/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The passage reflects on how everyone carries hidden struggles and unfulfilled desires, urging empathy and recognizing shared humanity. **In simple terms:** People have hidden pains and unfulfilled dreams. Key Takeaway Recognize others' hidden struggles. Themes empathy humanity unfulfilled desires Mood reflective somber Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - personal relationships - mental health awareness - supportive counseling Key Concepts psychology existential reflection social alienation Questions to Reflect On - How can you acknowledge unseen struggles? - What does it mean to be “more than they were”? A Different Perspective Not all pain is visible; some may resist help. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Adults](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adults/) [Anger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) [Burdens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/burdens/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Illness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/illness/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Problems](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/problems/) [Sadness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sadness/) [Time passing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time-passing/) ## Related quotes > [At the end of the day, the people who really matter will be the ones standing next to you watching the sun set and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ash-sweeney/at-the-end-of-the-day-the-people-who-really-matter-will-be-the-ones/) [Ash Sweeney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ash-sweeney/) > [“The foolish thing was trying to solve the problem all by myself. 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If you could remember that, it made you less angry. They’d been carried along on their hopes, held up by the chance of a windfall. But instead of a windfall there was only time passing. And all they ever were was themselves. Still they had wanted to be different. I would assume that from now on, I told myself, wandering back into the barn. What people wanted to be, but never could, traveled along beside them. 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