--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The abuser does not believe, however…" description: "\"“The abuser does not believe, however, that his level of authority over the children should be in any way connected to his actual level of effort or sa..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b97/lundy-bancroft-bancroft-175772_abuse_the-abuser-does-not-believe-however-that_1974161.jpg" --- # The abuser does not believe, however, that his level of… ![“The abuser does not believe, however, that his level of authority over the children should be in any way connected to his actual level of effort or sacrifice on their behalf, or to how much knowledge he actually has about who they are or what is going on in their lives. He considers it his right…” quote by Lundy Bancroft Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b97/lundy-bancroft-bancroft-175772_abuse_the-abuser-does-not-believe-however-that_1974161.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b97/lundy-bancroft-bancroft-175772_abuse_the-abuser-does-not-believe-however-that_1974161.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b97/lundy-bancroft-bancroft-175772_abuse_the-abuser-does-not-believe-however-that_1974161.jpg) > ““The abuser does not believe, however, that his level of authority over the children should be in any way connected to his actual level of effort or sacrifice on their behalf, or to how much knowledge he actually has about who they are or what is going on in their lives. He considers it his right to make the ultimate determination of what is good for them even if he doesn’t attend to their needs or even if he only contributes to those aspects of child care that he enjoys or that make him look like a great dad in public.”” Lundy Bancroft Bancroft ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Describes how abusers claim authority over children while neglecting their true needs, seeking public approval instead. **In simple terms:** Abusers misuse authority for image. Key Takeaway Question authority motives. Themes abuse authority parenting neglect public image Mood serious critical Type analysis warning When to use this quote - counseling - legal cases - parental workshops - media analysis Key Concepts psychology family dynamics social perception Questions to Reflect On - How does authority become abuse? - What safeguards protect children? A Different Perspective Victims may feel powerless to speak. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/) [Abuser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuser/) [Abusive-men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abusive-men/) [Abusive-parents](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abusive-parents/) [Abusive-relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abusive-relationships/) [Authority](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/authority/) [Child care](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child-care/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Domestic abuse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/domestic-abuse/) [Domestic violence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/domestic-violence/) ## Related quotes > [“It is important to note that research has shown that men who have abusive mothers do not tend to develop especially negative attitudes toward…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/it-is-important-to-note-that-research-has-shown-that-men-who-have/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“In the 1890s, when Freud was in the dawn of his career, he was struck by how many of his female patients were revealing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/in-the-1890s-when-freud-was-in-the-dawn-of-his-career-he-was-struck/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“Abuse grows from attitudes and values, not feelings. The roots are ownership, the trunk is entitlement, and the branches are control.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/abuse-grows-from-attitudes-and-values-not-feelings-the-roots-are/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“Abusive relationships exist because they provide enough rations of warmth, laughter, and affection to clutch onto like a security blanket in the heap of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maggie-young/abusive-relationships-exist-because-they-provide-enough-rations-of/) Maggie Young > [“I am done looking for love where it doesn’t exist. I am done coughing up dust in attempts to drink from dry wells.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maggie-young/i-am-done-looking-for-love-where-it-doesn-t-exist-i-am-done-coughing/) Maggie Young > [“Many neglected and abused children grow up to be adults who are afraid to take risks of striking out on their own. Many will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beverly-engel/many-neglected-and-abused-children-grow-up-to-be-adults-who-are/) [Beverly Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beverly-engel/) > [“Invalidating someone else is not merely disagreeing with something that the other person said. It is a process in which individuals communicate to another…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-m-allen/invalidating-someone-else-is-not-merely-disagreeing-with-something/) David M. Allen > [“You don't deserve the anger you're turning on yourself. Your abuser's the one who does.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-rainfield/you-don-t-deserve-the-anger-you-re-turning-on-yourself-your-abuser-s/) [Cheryl Rainfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-rainfield/) > [“The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as obvious. In…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/the-scars-from-mental-cruelty-can-be-as-deep-and-long-lasting-as/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“Objectification is a critical reason why an abuser tends to get worse over time. As his conscience adapts to one level of cruelty—or violence—he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/objectification-is-a-critical-reason-why-an-abuser-tends-to-get-worse/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“ABUSIVE MEN COME in every personality type, arise from good childhoods and bad ones, are macho men or gentle, “liberated” men. No psychological test…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/abusive-men-come-in-every-personality-type-arise-from-good-childhoods/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“HE ISN’T ABUSIVE BECAUSE HE IS ANGRY; HE’S ANGRY BECAUSE HE’S ABUSIVE.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/he-isn-t-abusive-because-he-is-angry-he-s-angry-because-he-s-abusive/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“The woman knows from living with the abusive man that there are no simple answers. Friends say: “He’s mean.” But she knows many ways…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/the-woman-knows-from-living-with-the-abusive-man-that-there-are-no/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“When people conclude that anger causes abuse, they are confusing cause and effect. Ray was not abusive because he was angry; he was angry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/when-people-conclude-that-anger-causes-abuse-they-are-confusing-cause/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [But whether you stay or go, the critical decision you can make is to stop letting your partner distort the lens of your life,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/but-whether-you-stay-or-go-the-critical-decision-you-can-make-is-to/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) ## More Abuse quotes > [I wrote when I was a young teen, but I didn't put an eye on the available markets until I was seventeen. The next…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-reed/i-wrote-when-i-was-a-young-teen-but-i-didn-t-put-an-eye-on-the/) [Robert Reed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-reed/) > [Amongst the financial Twitterati, the term 'muppets' has come to describe any client used and abused by some financial predator. 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When there is debate, there are solutions.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/atifete-jahjaga/democracy-must-be-built-through-open-societies-that-share-information/) [Atifete Jahjaga](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/atifete-jahjaga/) > [I have a theory that all abuse, no matter what kind of abuse it is, is foremost an assault on the mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tara-westover/i-have-a-theory-that-all-abuse-no-matter-what-kind-of-abuse-it-is-is/) [Tara Westover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tara-westover/) > [“Blaming therapy, social work and other caring professions for the confabulation of testimony of 'satanic ritual abuse' legitimated a programme of political and social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/blaming-therapy-social-work-and-other-caring-professions-for-the/) [Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/) > [Finally, the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-cumming/finally-the-scariest-thing-about-abuse-of-any-shape-or-form-is-in-my/) [Alan Cumming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-cumming/) > [“Research on organised abuse emphasises the diversity of organised abuse cases, and the ways in which serious forms of child maltreatment cluster in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-salter/research-on-organised-abuse-emphasises-the-diversity-of-organised/) [Michael Salter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-salter/) > [“Stand up for yourself. 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They will mirror your actions.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hadinet-tekie/words-are-free-it-does-not-mean-you-should-abuse-them-be-kind-with/) [Hadinet Tekie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hadinet-tekie/) > [My illness is one often characterized by dramatic overspending - in my case through frenzied shopping sprees, credit card abuse, excessive hoarding of unnecessary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-behrman/my-illness-is-one-often-characterized-by-dramatic-overspending-in-my/) [Andy Behrman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-behrman/) [Browse all 3,113 Abuse quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/abuse/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“The abuser does not believe, however, that his level of authority over the children should be in any way connected to his actual level of effort or sacrifice on their behalf, or to how much knowledge he actually has about who they are or what is going on in their lives. 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