---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I treated despair in terms of hierarchy…"
description: "\"I treated despair in terms of hierarchy: if there was a more important pain in the world, it meant my own was negated. I thought I simply had to accept..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/715/lucy-grealy-24985_accepting_i-treated-despair-in-terms-of-hierarchy_3020903.jpg"
---

#  I treated despair in terms of hierarchy: if there was a…

![“I treated despair in terms of hierarchy: if there was a more important pain in the world, it meant my own was negated. I thought I simply had to accept the fact that I was ugly, and that to feel despair about it was simply wrong.” quote by Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/715/lucy-grealy-24985_accepting_i-treated-despair-in-terms-of-hierarchy_3020903.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/715/lucy-grealy-24985_accepting_i-treated-despair-in-terms-of-hierarchy_3020903.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/715/lucy-grealy-24985_accepting_i-treated-despair-in-terms-of-hierarchy_3020903.jpg)

> “I treated despair in terms of hierarchy: if there was a more important pain in the world, it meant my own was negated. I thought I simply had to accept the fact that I was ugly, and that to feel despair about it was simply wrong.”

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Despair can be reframed by recognizing larger suffering, reducing personal suffering’s significance.

**In simple terms:** Seeing bigger pain eases personal despair.

Key Takeaway

Place personal struggles in broader perspective.

Themes

perspective suffering hierarchy acceptance

Mood

reflective empathetic

Type

philosophical inspirational

When to use this quote

- grief counseling
- personal setbacks
- health crises
- creative writing

Key Concepts

existentialism comparative empathy psychological resilience

Questions to Reflect On

- How does recognizing others’ pain affect your own?
- When is it helpful to view suffering hierarchically?

A Different Perspective

Comparing pain may invalidate individual experiences.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Despair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/despair/) [Facts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/facts/) [Hierarchy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hierarchy/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [World](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/world/)

## Related quotes

> [“When I see those sad, abused and neglected animals on those commercials I feel despair for the human race. Too many people repay loyalty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/when-i-see-those-sad-abused-and-neglected-animals-on-those/)

[Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/)

> [These terrifying forms which advance on me, I feel that the despair they bring is alive. It slips into this nucleus of life beyond…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/antonin-artaud/these-terrifying-forms-which-advance-on-me-i-feel-that-the-despair/)

[Antonin Artaud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/antonin-artaud/)

> [If there's more that you can do, then do it. If there's not more that you can do, then be content with what you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stefan-molyneux/if-there-s-more-that-you-can-do-then-do-it-if-there-s-not-more-that/)

[Stefan Molyneux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stefan-molyneux/)

> [Every once in a while I feel despair over the fate of the planet. If you've been following climate science, you know what I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-krugman/every-once-in-a-while-i-feel-despair-over-the-fate-of-the-planet-if/)

[Paul Krugman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-krugman/)

> [“The air in my home is heavy with my mom's unhappiness. And her exhaustion. And her sheer dissatisfaction with her life. And I hate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-buzo/the-air-in-my-home-is-heavy-with-my-mom-s-unhappiness-and-her/)

[Laura Buzo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-buzo/)

> [I don't feel despair because I am able to make the films I want to make, and that gives me hope.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-payne/i-don-t-feel-despair-because-i-am-able-to-make-the-films-i-want-to/)

[Alexander Payne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-payne/)

> [If we are to live with our feet on the ground, in touch with reality, we must help one another accept the fact that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carter-heyward/if-we-are-to-live-with-our-feet-on-the-ground-in-touch-with-reality/)

[Carter Heyward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carter-heyward/)

> [“But in the light of the new understanding that I have found in A.A., I have been able to interpret that defeat and that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alcoholics-anonymous/but-in-the-light-of-the-new-understanding-that-i-have-found-in-a-a-i/)

[Alcoholics Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alcoholics-anonymous/)

> [Becoming a writer is not a 'career decision' like becoming a doctor or a policeman. You don't choose it so much as get chosen,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-auster/becoming-a-writer-is-not-a-career-decision-like-becoming-a-doctor-or/)

[Paul Auster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-auster/)

> [Being hurt by someone who you love is one of the worst things that can happen to a person.It can leave you broken,dejected and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jsv/being-hurt-by-someone-who-you-love-is-one-of-the-worst-things-that/)

[JSV](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jsv/)

> [You have to accept the fact that sometimes you are the pigeon, and sometimes you are the statue.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/claude-chabrol/you-have-to-accept-the-fact-that-sometimes-you-are-the-pigeon-and/)

[Claude Chabrol](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/claude-chabrol/)

> [Feminine intuition? Is that what you wanted the robot for? You men. Faced with a woman reaching a correct conclusion and unable to accept…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isaac-asimov/feminine-intuition-is-that-what-you-wanted-the-robot-for-you-men/)

[Isaac Asimov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isaac-asimov/)

> [Accept the fact that you're never gonna be someone else and embrace the fact that the world needs you as God made you to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louie-giglio/accept-the-fact-that-you-re-never-gonna-be-someone-else-and-embrace/)

[Louie Giglio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louie-giglio/)

> [Families are like friends at school, at first you have no idea about them, but right after you talk talking and getting attach to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asiya-sasika-khan/families-are-like-friends-at-school-at-first-you-have-no-idea-about/)

Asiya Sasika Khan

> [One must accept the fact that we have only one companion in this world, a companion who accompanies us from the cradle to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/agatha-christie/one-must-accept-the-fact-that-we-have-only-one-companion-in-this/)

[Agatha Christie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/agatha-christie/)

## More by Lucy Grealy

> [Does something which exists on the edge have no true relevance to the stable center, or does it, by being on the edge, become…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/does-something-which-exists-on-the-edge-have-no-true-relevance-to-the/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

> [“When dealing with my mother, one always had to act in a delicate and prescribed way, though the exact rules of protocol seemed to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/when-dealing-with-my-mother-one-always-had-to-act-in-a-delicate-and/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

> [The general plot of life is sometimes shaped by the different ways genuine intelligence combines with equally genuine ignorance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/the-general-plot-of-life-is-sometimes-shaped-by-the-different-ways/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

> [ Through \[my friends\] I discovered what it was to love people. There was an art to it...which was not really all that different from… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/through-my-friends-i-discovered-what-it-was-to-love-people-there-was/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

> [Anxiety and anticipation, I was to learn, are the essential ingredients in suffering from pain, as opposed to feeling pain pure and simple.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/anxiety-and-anticipation-i-was-to-learn-are-the-essential-ingredients/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

> [All narratives, even the confusing, are implicitly hopeful; they speak of a world that can be ordered, and thus understood.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/all-narratives-even-the-confusing-are-implicitly-hopeful-they-speak/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

> [Partly I was honing my self-consciousness into a torture device, sharp and efficient enough to last me the rest of my life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/partly-i-was-honing-my-self-consciousness-into-a-torture-device-sharp/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

> [Sometimes the briefest moments capture us, force us to take them in, and demand that we live the rest of our lives in reference…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/sometimes-the-briefest-moments-capture-us-force-us-to-take-them-in/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

> [“Reinforced to me again and again was how I was a ‘brave girl’ for not crying, a ‘good girl’ for not complaining, and soon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/reinforced-to-me-again-and-again-was-how-i-was-a-brave-girl-for-not/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

> [Animals were both the lives I took care of and the lives who took care of me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/animals-were-both-the-lives-i-took-care-of-and-the-lives-who-took/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

> [Beauty, as defined by society at large, seemed to be only about who was best at looking like everyone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/beauty-as-defined-by-society-at-large-seemed-to-be-only-about-who-was/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

> [I used to think truth was eternal, that once I knew, once I saw, it would be with me forever, a constant by which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/i-used-to-think-truth-was-eternal-that-once-i-knew-once-i-saw-it/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

> [This singularity of meaning--I was my face, I was ugliness--though sometimes unbearable, also offered a possible point of escape. It became the launching pad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/this-singularity-of-meaning-i-was-my-face-i-was-ugliness-though/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

> [Part of the job of being human is to consistently underestimate our effect on other people...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/part-of-the-job-of-being-human-is-to-consistently-underestimate-our/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

> [“The school year progressed slowly. I felt as if I had been in the sixth grade for years, yet it was only October. Halloween…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/the-school-year-progressed-slowly-i-felt-as-if-i-had-been-in-the/)

[Lucy Grealy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

[Explore all 23 Lucy Grealy quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/)

## More Accepting quotes

> [From Augustine down, theologians have tried to compel people to accept their special interpretation of the Scripture, and the tortures of the inquisition, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matilda-joslyn-gage/from-augustine-down-theologians-have-tried-to-compel-people-to-accept/)

[Matilda Joslyn Gage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matilda-joslyn-gage/)

> [Laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing! It is the jester! A voice from the Void, to cheer poor Cicero! I accept your gift, dearest Night Mother.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcus-tullius-cicero/laughing-laughing-laughing-laughing-it-is-the-jester-a-voice-from-the/)

[Marcus Tullius Cicero](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcus-tullius-cicero/)

> [This duo inside of me causes the perfect opportunity to live and learn twice as fast as those who choose to accept simplicity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tupac-shakur/this-duo-inside-of-me-causes-the-perfect-opportunity-to-live-and/)

[Tupac Shakur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tupac-shakur/)

> [There is something about the South that accepts the supernatural. If you don't accept it and you're having a conversation with someone who does,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-englert/there-is-something-about-the-south-that-accepts-the-supernatural-if/)

[Alice Englert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-englert/)

> [We only enter into the full life if our faith gives thanks. Because how else do we accept His free gift of salvation if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-voskamp/we-only-enter-into-the-full-life-if-our-faith-gives-thanks-because/)

[Ann Voskamp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-voskamp/)

> [Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/don-t-be-bitter-everybody-suffers-if-you-can-accept-your-suffering/)

[Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/)

> [It takes an unusually philosophic mind to accept that all one’s suffering might be to no end, really, in the larger scheme of things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/it-takes-an-unusually-philosophic-mind-to-accept-that-all-one-s/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [No nation being under another nation can accept gifts, and kick at the responsibility attached to those gifts, imposed by the conquering nation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahatma-gandhi/no-nation-being-under-another-nation-can-accept-gifts-and-kick-at-the/)

[Mahatma Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahatma-gandhi/)

> [Even with clothing naked animals, there were people who wanted to send in money. A woman in Santa Barbara, California, sent a $40,000 check.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-abel/even-with-clothing-naked-animals-there-were-people-who-wanted-to-send/)

[Alan Abel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-abel/)

> [Society understands the architecture of academia and knows there are relevant qualifications in different fields, and the media accepts the idea of specialisations and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-griffiths/society-understands-the-architecture-of-academia-and-knows-there-are/)

[Jay Griffiths](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-griffiths/)

> [Whatever your conscious mind assumes and believes to be true, your subconscious mind will accept and bring to pass. Believe in good fortune, divine…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-murphy/whatever-your-conscious-mind-assumes-and-believes-to-be-true-your/)

[Joseph Murphy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-murphy/)

> [Losing someone is easy, but accepting it is hard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/losing-someone-is-easy-but-accepting-it-is-hard/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [… and so he tried to accept the ache in his heart as what Dr. Larch would call the common symptoms of normal life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/and-so-he-tried-to-accept-the-ache-in-his-heart-as-what-dr-larch/)

[John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/)

> [I think what was special about 'Music by Prudence' was the classic story of the title subject's life path - from being an outcast…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-ross-williams/i-think-what-was-special-about-music-by-prudence-was-the-classic/)

[Roger Ross Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-ross-williams/)

> [As my films are born at the moment when they are reflected into another person's mind and memories, there are no misconceptions. I totally…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pirjo-honkasalo/as-my-films-are-born-at-the-moment-when-they-are-reflected-into/)

[Pirjo Honkasalo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pirjo-honkasalo/)

Browse all 6,788 Accepting quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "I treated despair in terms of hierarchy: if there was a more important pain in the world, it meant my own was negated. I thought I simply had to accept the fact that I was ugly, and that to feel despair about it was simply wrong.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Lucy Grealy"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/i-treated-despair-in-terms-of-hierarchy-if-there-was-a-more-important/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Accepting"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/i-treated-despair-in-terms-of-hierarchy-if-there-was-a-more-important/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/715/lucy-grealy-24985_accepting_i-treated-despair-in-terms-of-hierarchy_3020903.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/715/lucy-grealy-24985_accepting_i-treated-despair-in-terms-of-hierarchy_3020903.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/715/lucy-grealy-24985_accepting_i-treated-despair-in-terms-of-hierarchy_3020903.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“I treated despair in terms of hierarchy: if there was a more important pain in the world, it meant my own…” — Lucy Grealy",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Lucy Grealy",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-grealy/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "I treated despair in terms of...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/i-treated-despair-in-terms-of-hierarchy-if-there-was-a-more-important/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-grealy/i-treated-despair-in-terms-of-hierarchy-if-there-was-a-more-important/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
