---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When we feel that we lack whatever is…"
description: "\"When we feel that we lack whatever is needed to secure someone else's esteem, we are very close to hating him\" — Luc de Clapiers"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6a/luc-de-clapiers-2035_esteem_when-we-feel-that-we-lack-whatever-is-ne_1651422.png"
---

#  When we feel that we lack whatever is needed to secure…

![“When we feel that we lack whatever is needed to secure someone else's esteem, we are very close to hating him” quote by Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6a/luc-de-clapiers-2035_esteem_when-we-feel-that-we-lack-whatever-is-ne_1651422.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6a/luc-de-clapiers-2035_esteem_when-we-feel-that-we-lack-whatever-is-ne_1651422.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6a/luc-de-clapiers-2035_esteem_when-we-feel-that-we-lack-whatever-is-ne_1651422.png)

> “When we feel that we lack whatever is needed to secure someone else's esteem, we are very close to hating him”

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Insecurity about others' opinions can quickly turn into resentment toward them.

**In simple terms:** Insecurity breeds hatred.

Key Takeaway

Cultivate self‑worth independent of external validation.

Themes

self‑esteem esteem resentment

Mood

introspective motivational

Type

self‑help philosophical

When to use this quote

- job interviews
- social media
- team projects
- family gatherings

Key Concepts

psychology social comparison self‑validation

Questions to Reflect On

- How do you separate self‑value from others' views?
- What practices build internal confidence?

A Different Perspective

Self‑worth can be fragile and influenced by others.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Esteem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/esteem/) [Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate/) [Respect](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/respect/)

## Related quotes

> [It is not expedient or wise to examine our friends too closely; few persons are raised in our esteem by a close examination.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francois-de-la-rochefoucauld/it-is-not-expedient-or-wise-to-examine-our-friends-too-closely-few/)

[Francois de La Rochefoucauld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francois-de-la-rochefoucauld/)

> [The stress that some of us feel - it's a lack of faith, it really is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-chan/the-stress-that-some-of-us-feel-it-s-a-lack-of-faith-it-really-is/)

[Francis Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-chan/)

> [If I never meet you In this life Let me feel the lack A glance from your eyes Then my life Will be yours](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-jones/if-i-never-meet-you-in-this-life-let-me-feel-the-lack-a-glance-from/)

[James Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-jones/)

> [The whole notion of one person being enough for everything gets instantly challenged when you start to talk with somebody about wanting more or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/the-whole-notion-of-one-person-being-enough-for-everything-gets/)

[Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/)

> [No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jen-lancaster/no-it-s-not-a-corpse-thing-i-feel-i-lack-the-emotional-capacity-to/)

[Jen Lancaster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jen-lancaster/)

> [So I feel that lack of qualification. And I'm scared. And I have a tendency to think things may not/probably won't work out. That's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-egan/so-i-feel-that-lack-of-qualification-and-i-m-scared-and-i-have-a/)

[Jennifer Egan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-egan/)

> [Can you understand how cruelly I feel the lack of friends who will believe in me a bit?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/d-h-lawrence/can-you-understand-how-cruelly-i-feel-the-lack-of-friends-who-will/)

[D. H. Lawrence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/d-h-lawrence/)

> [Sexuality is often tied in with something you feel you lack in yourself and look for in others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/derren-brown/sexuality-is-often-tied-in-with-something-you-feel-you-lack-in/)

[Derren Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/derren-brown/)

> [I'm not going back to acting class, although I've thought of it. The classic training that people get usually when they start out, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margot-kidder/i-m-not-going-back-to-acting-class-although-i-ve-thought-of-it-the/)

[Margot Kidder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margot-kidder/)

> [I felt that I was leaving part of myself behind, and that wherever I went afterwards I should feel the lack of it, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evelyn-waugh/i-felt-that-i-was-leaving-part-of-myself-behind-and-that-wherever-i/)

[Evelyn Waugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evelyn-waugh/)

> [“I always believe that the time to relax is when you feel you lack the time to do so.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janani-srikanth/i-always-believe-that-the-time-to-relax-is-when-you-feel-you-lack-the/)

Janani Srikanth

> [The affectionate farce I make of him ignores the ways I feel his lack of love for me. But we are managing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/the-affectionate-farce-i-make-of-him-ignores-the-ways-i-feel-his-lack/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists. . . . When we are parted, we each feel the lack…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aroha-janet/today-i-begin-to-understand-what-love-must-be-if-it-exists-when-we/)

[Aroha Janet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aroha-janet/)

> [He who never thinks of anything as 'mine' does not feel the lack of anything: he is never worried by a sense of loss.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gautama-buddha/he-who-never-thinks-of-anything-as-mine-does-not-feel-the-lack-of/)

[Gautama Buddha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gautama-buddha/)

> [... it struck me as so hard to believe I was really getting what I wanted; it was always easier to feel the lack…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-sittenfeld/it-struck-me-as-so-hard-to-believe-i-was-really-getting-what-i-wanted/)

[Curtis Sittenfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-sittenfeld/)

## More by Luc de Clapiers

> [Great men undertake great things because they are great; fools, because they think them easy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/great-men-undertake-great-things-because-they-are-great-fools-because/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

> [You must rouse into people's consciousness their own prudence and strength, if you want to raise their character.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/you-must-rouse-into-people-s-consciousness-their-own-prudence-and/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

> [To achieve great things we must live as though we were never going to die.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/to-achieve-great-things-we-must-live-as-though-we-were-never-going-to/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

> [Excessive distrust is not less hurtfJul than its opposite. Most men become useless to him who is unwilling to risk being deceived.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/excessive-distrust-is-not-less-hurtfjul-than-its-opposite-most-men/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

> [There are those who are so scrupulously afraid of doing wrong that they seldom venture to do anything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/there-are-those-who-are-so-scrupulously-afraid-of-doing-wrong-that/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

> [The most absurd and reckless aspirations have sometimes led to extraordinary success.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/the-most-absurd-and-reckless-aspirations-have-sometimes-led-to/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

> [We are very wrong to think that some fault or other can exclude virtue, or to consider the alliance of good and evil as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/we-are-very-wrong-to-think-that-some-fault-or-other-can-exclude/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

> [Men are not to be judged by what they do not know, but by what they know, and by the manner in which they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/men-are-not-to-be-judged-by-what-they-do-not-know-but-by-what-they/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

> [Men dissimulate their dearest, most constant, and most virtuous inclination from weakness and a fear of being condemned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/men-dissimulate-their-dearest-most-constant-and-most-virtuous/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

> [To withdraw ourselves from the law of the strong, we have found ourselves obliged to submit to justice. Justice or might, we must choose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/to-withdraw-ourselves-from-the-law-of-the-strong-we-have-found/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

> [None are more liable to mistakes than those who act only on second thoughts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/none-are-more-liable-to-mistakes-than-those-who-act-only-on-second/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

> [The mind is the soul's eye, not its source of power. That lies in the heart, in other words, in the passions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/the-mind-is-the-soul-s-eye-not-its-source-of-power-that-lies-in-the/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

> [It is easier to say new things than to reconcile those which have already been said.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/it-is-easier-to-say-new-things-than-to-reconcile-those-which-have/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

> [Those who can bear all can dare all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/those-who-can-bear-all-can-dare-all/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

> [It is of no use to possess a lively wit if it is not of the right proportion: the perfection of a clock is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/it-is-of-no-use-to-possess-a-lively-wit-if-it-is-not-of-the-right/)

[Luc de Clapiers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

[Explore all 190 Luc de Clapiers quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/)

## More Esteem quotes

> [Her dignity consists in being unknown to the world; her glory is in the esteem of her husband; her pleasures in the happiness of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-jacques-rousseau/her-dignity-consists-in-being-unknown-to-the-world-her-glory-is-in/)

[Jean-Jacques Rousseau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-jacques-rousseau/)

> [Nothing is better for self-esteem than survival.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-gellhorn/nothing-is-better-for-self-esteem-than-survival/)

[Martha Gellhorn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-gellhorn/)

> [Needs cause motivation. Deep-rooted desires for esteem, affection, belonging, achievement, self-actualization, power, and control motivate us to push for what we want and need…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorii-myers/needs-cause-motivation-deep-rooted-desires-for-esteem-affection/)

[Lorii Myers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorii-myers/)

> [So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/so-i-went-to-a-club-the-other-day-which-is-timely-because-my-self/)

[Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/)

> [You would not exist if you did not have something to bring to the table of life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herbie-hancock/you-would-not-exist-if-you-did-not-have-something-to-bring-to-the/)

[Herbie Hancock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herbie-hancock/)

> [To preserve an unclouded capacity for the enjoyment of life is an unusual moral and psychological achievement. Contrary to popular belief, it is not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/to-preserve-an-unclouded-capacity-for-the-enjoyment-of-life-is-an/)

[Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/)

> [If you go to any nunnery and ask them what the main obstacle is, they'll always say low self-esteem and lack of confidence. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tenzin-palmo/if-you-go-to-any-nunnery-and-ask-them-what-the-main-obstacle-is-they/)

[Tenzin Palmo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tenzin-palmo/)

> [Don't worry so much about your self-esteem. Worry more about your character. Integrity is its own reward.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-schlessinger/don-t-worry-so-much-about-your-self-esteem-worry-more-about-your/)

[Laura Schlessinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-schlessinger/)

> [Spina bifida affects every single aspect of your life, from your child's self-esteem to your ability to sleep at night.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-ari-parker/spina-bifida-affects-every-single-aspect-of-your-life-from-your-child/)

[Nicole Ari Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-ari-parker/)

> [You never exist quite so much as when you are not thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/you-never-exist-quite-so-much-as-when-you-are-not-thinking/)

[Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/)

> [Never let the opinion of another affect your opinion of yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teresa-mummert/never-let-the-opinion-of-another-affect-your-opinion-of-yourself/)

[Teresa Mummert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teresa-mummert/)

> [You'd be surprised how addicting high self-esteem is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fergie/you-d-be-surprised-how-addicting-high-self-esteem-is/)

[Fergie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fergie/)

> [The only thing I pay attention to with free throws is what a guy does in the final four minutes of a game. If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-calipari/the-only-thing-i-pay-attention-to-with-free-throws-is-what-a-guy-does/)

[John Calipari](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-calipari/)

> [When one is a stranger to oneself then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-morrow-lindbergh/when-one-is-a-stranger-to-oneself-then-one-is-estranged-from-others/)

[Anne Morrow Lindbergh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-morrow-lindbergh/)

> [The Tao is the center of the universe, the good man's treasure, the bad man's refuge. Honors can be bought with fine words, respect…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laozi/the-tao-is-the-center-of-the-universe-the-good-man-s-treasure-the-bad/)

[Laozi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laozi/)

[Browse all 1,681 Esteem quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/esteem/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "When we feel that we lack whatever is needed to secure someone else's esteem, we are very close to hating him",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Luc de Clapiers"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/when-we-feel-that-we-lack-whatever-is-needed-to-secure-someone-else-s/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Esteem"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/when-we-feel-that-we-lack-whatever-is-needed-to-secure-someone-else-s/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6a/luc-de-clapiers-2035_esteem_when-we-feel-that-we-lack-whatever-is-ne_1651422.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6a/luc-de-clapiers-2035_esteem_when-we-feel-that-we-lack-whatever-is-ne_1651422.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6a/luc-de-clapiers-2035_esteem_when-we-feel-that-we-lack-whatever-is-ne_1651422.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“When we feel that we lack whatever is needed to secure someone else's esteem, we are very close to hating him” — Luc de Clapiers",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Luc de Clapiers",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luc-de-clapiers/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "When we feel that we lack...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/when-we-feel-that-we-lack-whatever-is-needed-to-secure-someone-else-s/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luc-de-clapiers/when-we-feel-that-we-lack-whatever-is-needed-to-secure-someone-else-s/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
