---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: She was beginning to understand that it…"
description: "\"“She was beginning to understand that it is not enough to love someone deeply; you also have to learn to love them well.”\" — Louis de Bernières"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/517/louis-de-bernieres-5492_love_she-was-beginning-to-understand-that-it_2371725.png"
---

#  She was beginning to understand that it is not enough to…

![“She was beginning to understand that it is not enough to love someone deeply; you also have to learn to love them well.” quote by Louis de Bernières](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/517/louis-de-bernieres-5492_love_she-was-beginning-to-understand-that-it_2371725.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/517/louis-de-bernieres-5492_love_she-was-beginning-to-understand-that-it_2371725.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/517/louis-de-bernieres-5492_love_she-was-beginning-to-understand-that-it_2371725.png)

> ““She was beginning to understand that it is not enough to love someone deeply; you also have to learn to love them well.””

[Louis de Bernières](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Loving deeply is insufficient; true love requires skillful, caring actions toward the loved one.

**In simple terms:** Love needs skill, not just feeling.

Key Takeaway

Practice attentive, respectful love.

Themes

relationships empathy growth

Mood

reflective hopeful

Type

advice philosophical

When to use this quote

- marriage
- parenting
- friendship
- caregiving

Key Concepts

attachment theory emotional intelligence

Questions to Reflect On

- How can you show love through actions?
- What skills do you need to love well?

A Different Perspective

Love alone cannot sustain a relationship without effort.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/)

## Related quotes

> [I do not understand love, and I do not wish to understand it. My prayer instead is to have the courage to love deeply…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tia-nnebo/i-do-not-understand-love-and-i-do-not-wish-to-understand-it-my-prayer/)

[Tia Nnebo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tia-nnebo/)

> [As we enter into exquisite awareness of the life that want to live as us, we learn to love deeply. - We claim our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gunilla-brodde-norris/as-we-enter-into-exquisite-awareness-of-the-life-that-want-to-live-as/)

[Gunilla Brodde Norris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gunilla-brodde-norris/)

> [“It is only when we can look inside and learn to love deeply that which resembles uncut gravel within ourselves that we will be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-nicholls/it-is-only-when-we-can-look-inside-and-learn-to-love-deeply-that/)

Alice Nicholls

> [“one that we are just beginning to understand- is that trust, once eroded, is very hard to restore.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-ariely/one-that-we-are-just-beginning-to-understand-is-that-trust-once/)

[Dan Ariely](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-ariely/)

> [I think he's beginning to understand, and understanding is a horrible thing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-destefano/i-think-he-s-beginning-to-understand-and-understanding-is-a-horrible/)

[Lauren DeStefano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-destefano/)

> [I’m beginning to understand myself. But it would have been great to be able to understand myself when I was 20 rather than when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-brubeck/i-m-beginning-to-understand-myself-but-it-would-have-been-great-to-be/)

[Dave Brubeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-brubeck/)

> [“I understand, I am just beginning, I am just beginning to understand”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/i-understand-i-am-just-beginning-i-am-just-beginning-to-understand/)

[Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/)

> [I'm just never getting there. I'm getting round to it. I'm beginning to understand it a bit more.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-e-smith/i-m-just-never-getting-there-i-m-getting-round-to-it-i-m-beginning-to/)

[Mark E. Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-e-smith/)

> [“...I'm just beginning to understand how kind you are.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/felix-salten/i-m-just-beginning-to-understand-how-kind-you-are/)

[Felix Salten](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/felix-salten/)

> [“I don’t need to say aloud what I know you also are beginning to understand, wee one.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-ashley/i-don-t-need-to-say-aloud-what-i-know-you-also-are-beginning-to/)

[Kristen Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-ashley/)

> [I'm 31 now. I think I'm beginning to understand what life is, what romance is, and what a relationship means.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-sandler/i-m-31-now-i-think-i-m-beginning-to-understand-what-life-is-what/)

[Adam Sandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-sandler/)

> [In this world, we're just beginning to understand the miracle of living.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/belinda-carlisle/in-this-world-we-re-just-beginning-to-understand-the-miracle-of-living/)

[Belinda Carlisle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/belinda-carlisle/)

> [The boy was beginning to understand that intuition is really a sudden immersion of the soul into the universal current of life, where the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/the-boy-was-beginning-to-understand-that-intuition-is-really-a-sudden/)

[Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/)

> [“She was beginning to understand that evil is not absolute, and that good is often an occasion more than a condition.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-parker/she-was-beginning-to-understand-that-evil-is-not-absolute-and-that/)

[Gilbert Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-parker/)

> [“Can a person really love someone so deeply after only a week? Hello? Cliche much for insta-love?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christy-pastore/can-a-person-really-love-someone-so-deeply-after-only-a-week-hello/)

[Christy Pastore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christy-pastore/)

## More by Louis de Bernières

> [Family law is institutionally anti-male. I've been lobbying MPs, and I'm not going to give up campaigning for equality until I get equality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/family-law-is-institutionally-anti-male-i-ve-been-lobbying-mps-and-i/)

[Louis de Bernieres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

> [“The dead can read tears.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/the-dead-can-read-tears/)

[Louis de Bernières](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

> [...but then the general trouble with ignorance is always that the ignorant person has no idea that that's what they are. You can be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/but-then-the-general-trouble-with-ignorance-is-always-that-the/)

[Louis de Bernieres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

> [Love delayed is lust augmented.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/love-delayed-is-lust-augmented/)

[Louis de Bernieres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

> [No man is a man until he has been a soldier.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/no-man-is-a-man-until-he-has-been-a-soldier/)

[Louis de Bernieres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

> [Did you know that childhood is the only time in our lives when insanity is not only permitted to us, but expected?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/did-you-know-that-childhood-is-the-only-time-in-our-lives-when/)

[Louis de Bernieres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

> [God is an oppressor, He is incapable of human sympathy; behind a smiling face He hides an evil heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/god-is-an-oppressor-he-is-incapable-of-human-sympathy-behind-a/)

[Louis de Bernieres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

> [Your lips are like sugar And your cheeks an apple Your breasts are paradise And your body a lily. O, to kiss the sugar…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/your-lips-are-like-sugar-and-your-cheeks-an-apple-your-breasts-are/)

[Louis de Bernieres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

> [When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/when-you-fall-in-love-it-is-a-temporary-madness-it-erupts-like-an/)

[Louis de Bernieres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

> [The De Bernieres were very military. I broke the military tradition but I was terribly proud of my father being a soldier.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/the-de-bernieres-were-very-military-i-broke-the-military-tradition/)

[Louis de Bernieres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

> [We should care for each other more than we care for ideas, or else we will end up killing each other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/we-should-care-for-each-other-more-than-we-care-for-ideas-or-else-we/)

[Louis de Bernieres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

> [“Pelagia put her hands on her hips, taking advantage of the superiority implicit in the fact that she was standing and he lying down.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/pelagia-put-her-hands-on-her-hips-taking-advantage-of-the-superiority/)

[Louis de Bernières](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

> [“There comes a point in life where each one of us who survives begins to feel like a ghost that has forgotten to die…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/there-comes-a-point-in-life-where-each-one-of-us-who-survives-begins/)

[Louis de Bernières](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

> [“Men are sometimes driven by things that to a women make no sense, but she did know that Corelli had to be with his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/men-are-sometimes-driven-by-things-that-to-a-women-make-no-sense-but/)

[Louis de Bernières](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

> [“All their lovers' talk began with the phrase "After the war". After the war, when we're married, shall we live in Italy? There are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/all-their-lovers-talk-began-with-the-phrase-after-the-war-after-the/)

[Louis de Bernières](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

[Explore all 99 Louis de Bernières quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/)

## More Love quotes

> [Whatever meaning 'Annie's Song' had for me on a personal level, there was also a larger context. It could just as easily have been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-denver/whatever-meaning-annie-s-song-had-for-me-on-a-personal-level-there/)

[John Denver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-denver/)

> [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I need a bath." He chuckled. "You smell of smoke, as do I." The duke turned, leaning heavily on his cane. "Jameson, open the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-hawkins/i-need-a-bath-he-chuckled-you-smell-of-smoke-as-do-i-the-duke-turned/)

[Karen Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-hawkins/)

> [I love going to Columbia, Missouri. That is a really underrated campus. It shocked me when I went there because I really didn't know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirk-herbstreit/i-love-going-to-columbia-missouri-that-is-a-really-underrated-campus/)

[Kirk Herbstreit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kirk-herbstreit/)

> [Life works most perfectly when a reciprocal love relationship is in place between man and God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/life-works-most-perfectly-when-a-reciprocal-love-relationship-is-in/)

[Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/)

> [We talk to God--that is prayer; God talks to us--that is inspiration.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-emilie-cady/we-talk-to-god-that-is-prayer-god-talks-to-us-that-is-inspiration/)

[H. Emilie Cady](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-emilie-cady/)

> [I fell in love with social work, and that was my undoing as a poet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-rakosi/i-fell-in-love-with-social-work-and-that-was-my-undoing-as-a-poet/)

[Carl Rakosi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-rakosi/)

> [You cant be controlling in improv.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-walsh/you-cant-be-controlling-in-improv/)

[Matt Walsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-walsh/)

> [Everyone needs someone to love, and I choose you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/everyone-needs-someone-to-love-and-i-choose-you/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-think-here-s-what-i-ve-realized-from-interviewing-people-and-i-ve/)

[Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/)

> [“To be loved by a man, truly loved, made a woman feel as if she could burst. Of course, Lia was strong and could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-anne/to-be-loved-by-a-man-truly-loved-made-a-woman-feel-as-if-she-could/)

[Melody Anne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-anne/)

> [So when you take those tears, don't look to see I'm alright. …\*Seal - Violet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-nickel/so-when-you-take-those-tears-don-t-look-to-see-i-m-alright-seal-violet/)

[Eric Nickel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-nickel/)

> [Two things revolutionised life: moving to the countryside and falling in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-love/two-things-revolutionised-life-moving-to-the-countryside-and-falling/)

[Nick Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-love/)

> [“That horrible stinging sensation returned, the muscles behind my eyes straining as the first tear began to fall. “I’m scared, too. For eighteen months…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/devon-ashley/that-horrible-stinging-sensation-returned-the-muscles-behind-my-eyes/)

[Devon Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/devon-ashley/)

> [I could program a 'fabulous, I love it' kind of hit season right now. I'm more interested in breaking boundaries, telling a story, defying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-c-wolfe/i-could-program-a-fabulous-i-love-it-kind-of-hit-season-right-now-i-m/)

[George C. Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-c-wolfe/)

[Browse all 233,035 Love quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“She was beginning to understand that it is not enough to love someone deeply; you also have to learn to love them well.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Louis de Bernières"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/she-was-beginning-to-understand-that-it-is-not-enough-to-love-someone/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Love"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/she-was-beginning-to-understand-that-it-is-not-enough-to-love-someone/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/517/louis-de-bernieres-5492_love_she-was-beginning-to-understand-that-it_2371725.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/517/louis-de-bernieres-5492_love_she-was-beginning-to-understand-that-it_2371725.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/517/louis-de-bernieres-5492_love_she-was-beginning-to-understand-that-it_2371725.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“She was beginning to understand that it is not enough to love someone deeply; you also have to learn to love…” — Louis de Bernières",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Louis de Bernières",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-de-bernieres/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“She was beginning to understand that...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/she-was-beginning-to-understand-that-it-is-not-enough-to-love-someone/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-de-bernieres/she-was-beginning-to-understand-that-it-is-not-enough-to-love-someone/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
