---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I count too heavily on birthdays, though…"
description: "\"I count too heavily on birthdays, though I know I shouldn't. Inevitably I begin to assess my life by them, figure out how I'm doing by how many people ..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/lorrie-moore-870_birthday_i-count-too-heavily-on-birthdays-though_142633.png"
---

#  I count too heavily on birthdays, though I know I…

![“I count too heavily on birthdays, though I know I shouldn't. Inevitably I begin to assess my life by them, figure out how I'm doing by how many people remember; it's like the old fantasy of attending your own funeral: You get to see who your friends are, get to see who shows up.” quote by Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/lorrie-moore-870_birthday_i-count-too-heavily-on-birthdays-though_142633.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/lorrie-moore-870_birthday_i-count-too-heavily-on-birthdays-though_142633.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/lorrie-moore-870_birthday_i-count-too-heavily-on-birthdays-though_142633.png)

> “I count too heavily on birthdays, though I know I shouldn't. Inevitably I begin to assess my life by them, figure out how I'm doing by how many people remember; it's like the old fantasy of attending your own funeral: You get to see who your friends are, get to see who shows up.”

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

We often use birthdays as milestones to judge our social value, but this habit can distort self‑assessment and cause anxiety.

**In simple terms:** Birthdays become a yardstick for feeling valued, leading to anxiety.

Key Takeaway

Avoid measuring worth by others’ remembrance.

Themes

self‑esteem social validation reflection

Mood

anxious reflective

Type

philosophical motivational

When to use this quote

- career evaluation
- personal relationships
- mental health
- friendship dynamics

Key Concepts

milestones self‑assessment social comparison

Questions to Reflect On

- How do you value yourself beyond external acknowledgment?
- What alternative markers can you use for personal growth?

A Different Perspective

Life’s worth isn’t defined by a single day’s attention.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Birthday](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/birthday/) [Birthdays](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/birthdays/) [Birthdays Know](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/birthdays-know-1607085/) [Count Heavily](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/count-heavily-1607086/) [Fantasy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fantasy/) [Figures](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/figures/) [Funeral](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/funeral/) [Heavily Birthdays](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heavily-birthdays-1607084/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Remember](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/remember/) [Shows](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shows/) [Who your friends are](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/who-your-friends-are/)

## Related quotes

> [It may be in seemingly unimportant things that a man expresses his passion for perfection, yet they will count heavily in the long run.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-schwab/it-may-be-in-seemingly-unimportant-things-that-a-man-expresses-his/)

[Charles M. Schwab](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-schwab/)

> [You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-campbell/you-must-have-a-room-or-a-certain-hour-or-so-a-day-where-you-don-t/)

[Joseph Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-campbell/)

> [You find out who your friends are. Some people didn't have much to do with me when I was down. I've got a long…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lanny-wadkins/you-find-out-who-your-friends-are-some-people-didn-t-have-much-to-do/)

[Lanny Wadkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lanny-wadkins/)

> [I do believe people ought to be left alone. I don't care who you are or what you do at home or who your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rand-paul/i-do-believe-people-ought-to-be-left-alone-i-don-t-care-who-you-are/)

[Rand Paul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rand-paul/)

> [Show me who your friends are, and I will tell you what you are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/show-me-who-your-friends-are-and-i-will-tell-you-what-you-are/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don't know what was in the newspapers that morning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-campbell/you-must-have-a-room-or-a-certain-hour-or-so-a-day-where-you-don-t-2/)

[Joseph Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-campbell/)

> [ With crazy \[working\] hours, it's not easy to find balance. However, the one silver lining is that you really find out who your friends… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jenna-lee/with-crazy-working-hours-it-s-not-easy-to-find-balance-however-the/)

[Jenna Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jenna-lee/)

> [When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/when-we-honestly-ask-ourselves-which-person-in-our-lives-means-the-2/)

[Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/)

> [Tell me with whom you associate, and I will tell you who you are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/tell-me-with-whom-you-associate-and-i-will-tell-you-who-you-are/)

[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/)

> [When you look around at the six people that you spend the most time with, that's who you are. I think that in making…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-smith/when-you-look-around-at-the-six-people-that-you-spend-the-most-time/)

[Will Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/will-smith/)

> [It pays to know who your friends are but it also pays to know you ain't got any friends.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-dylan/it-pays-to-know-who-your-friends-are-but-it-also-pays-to-know-you-ain/)

[Bob Dylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-dylan/)

> [We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-schweitzer/we-should-all-be-thankful-for-those-people-who-rekindle-the-inner/)

[Albert Schweitzer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-schweitzer/)

> [If you want to know who your friends are, have a major failure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/if-you-want-to-know-who-your-friends-are-have-a-major-failure/)

[John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/)

> [Show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are. It works for me. Stay positive and good things happen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vanilla-ice/show-me-who-your-friends-are-and-i-ll-show-you-who-you-are-it-works/)

[Vanilla Ice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vanilla-ice/)

> [You learn who your friends are when the sh-t hits the fan.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ozzy-osbourne/you-learn-who-your-friends-are-when-the-sh-t-hits-the-fan/)

[Ozzy Osbourne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ozzy-osbourne/)

## More by Lorrie Moore

> [But I believed in starting over. There was finally, I knew, only rupture and hurt and falling short between all persons, but, Shirley, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/but-i-believed-in-starting-over-there-was-finally-i-knew-only-rupture/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [I'm very interested in what people will do for money. Money: it's timeless.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/i-m-very-interested-in-what-people-will-do-for-money-money-it-s/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [“One of the problems with people in Chicago, she remembered, was that they were never lonely at the same time. Their sadness occurred in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/one-of-the-problems-with-people-in-chicago-she-remembered-was-that/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [“If you had forgotten, it would quickly come back to you. Aloneness was like riding a bike. At gunpoint. With the gun in your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/if-you-had-forgotten-it-would-quickly-come-back-to-you-aloneness-was/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [Once love had seemed like magic. Now it seemed like tricks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/once-love-had-seemed-like-magic-now-it-seemed-like-tricks/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [“Observing others go through them, he used to admire midlife crises, the courage and shamelessness and existential daring of them, but after he'd watched…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/observing-others-go-through-them-he-used-to-admire-midlife-crises-the/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [Start dating someone who is funny, someone who has what in high school you called a "really great sense of humor" and what now…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/start-dating-someone-who-is-funny-someone-who-has-what-in-high-school/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [You are unhappy because you believe in such a thing as happy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/you-are-unhappy-because-you-believe-in-such-a-thing-as-happy/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [“Amber was not shy. If she had been shy, not one of us would be at Perkins right now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/amber-was-not-shy-if-she-had-been-shy-not-one-of-us-would-be-at/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [People will do anything, anything, for a really nice laugh,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/people-will-do-anything-anything-for-a-really-nice-laugh/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [“Farmers aren't rich. They have land but no money." Actually, my father didn't even have that much land. He had once stood on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/farmers-aren-t-rich-they-have-land-but-no-money-actually-my-father/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [“My grandmother, who, when I visited, stared at me with the staggering, arrogant stare of the dying, the wise vapidity of the already gone;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/my-grandmother-who-when-i-visited-stared-at-me-with-the-staggering/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [“Life is sad. Here is someone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/life-is-sad-here-is-someone/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [I had never feared insomnia before--like prison, wouldn't it just give you more time to read?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/i-had-never-feared-insomnia-before-like-prison-wouldn-t-it-just-give/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [Usually she ordered a cup of coffee and a cup of tea, as well as a brownie, propping up her sadness with chocolate and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/usually-she-ordered-a-cup-of-coffee-and-a-cup-of-tea-as-well-as-a/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

[Explore all 340 Lorrie Moore quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

## More Birthday quotes

> [I had sort of had a 21st birthday when I was 17, 18 years old living in Japan. I had all of that stuff…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-wright/i-had-sort-of-had-a-21st-birthday-when-i-was-17-18-years-old-living/)

[Sarah Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-wright/)

> [Spiritually, life is a festival, a celebration. Joy is of the essence of life;](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/agnivesh/spiritually-life-is-a-festival-a-celebration-joy-is-of-the-essence-of/)

[Agnivesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/agnivesh/)

> [Here is your third gift from Me once again..I had a fourth gift it was about me making a video telling you how much…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lilbear/here-is-your-third-gift-from-me-once-again-i-had-a-fourth-gift-it-was/)

[LilBear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lilbear/)

> [To divide one's life by years is of course to tumble into a trap set by our own arithmetic. The calendar consents to carry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/clifton-fadiman/to-divide-one-s-life-by-years-is-of-course-to-tumble-into-a-trap-set/)

[Clifton Fadiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/clifton-fadiman/)

> [“Natales grate numeras? (Do you count your birthdays with gratitude?)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/horace/natales-grate-numeras-do-you-count-your-birthdays-with-gratitude/)

[Horace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/horace/)

> [“Jarod Kintz Day—it’s not just my birthday, but it should be a holiday that’s mandatory to celebrate, punishable by death if you don’t. It’ll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/jarod-kintz-day-it-s-not-just-my-birthday-but-it-should-be-a-holiday/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [May Lord bless you abundantly because a sweetheart like you deserves the best! Have a glorious and memorable Birthday!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/may-lord-bless-you-abundantly-because-a-sweetheart-like-you-deserves/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Happy Birthday To Me,I just turned twenty three(23),I want a new Puppy, And I'll name it Julie:) Chocolate cake anyone all I have leftover,,,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/becka-miller/happy-birthday-to-me-i-just-turned-twenty-three-23-i-want-a-new-puppy/)

[Becka Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/becka-miller/)

> [I've always taken care of myself, and I'm a non-conformist, so I don't accept the negativity that comes with birthdays.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-van-dam/i-ve-always-taken-care-of-myself-and-i-m-a-non-conformist-so-i-don-t/)

[Rob Van Dam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-van-dam/)

> [If you're going to do a job, do it right. If you're going to throw a birthday party, make it amazing. If you're going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-john-liautaud/if-you-re-going-to-do-a-job-do-it-right-if-you-re-going-to-throw-a/)

[Jimmy John Liautaud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-john-liautaud/)

> [On Father's Day, we again wish you all happy birthday.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-kiner/on-father-s-day-we-again-wish-you-all-happy-birthday/)

[Ralph Kiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-kiner/)

> [I got Mary pregnant and man that's all she wrote. And for my 19th birthday, I got a union card and a factory coat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-springsteen/i-got-mary-pregnant-and-man-that-s-all-she-wrote-and-for-my-19th/)

[Bruce Springsteen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-springsteen/)

> [There's a vintage which comes with age and experience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-bon-jovi/there-s-a-vintage-which-comes-with-age-and-experience/)

[Jon Bon Jovi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-bon-jovi/)

> [When I turned 35, I thought, 'Mozart was dead at 36, so I set the bar: I'm going to start writing a book on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-gabaldon/when-i-turned-35-i-thought-mozart-was-dead-at-36-so-i-set-the-bar-i-m/)

[Diana Gabaldon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-gabaldon/)

> [Every day we have a special reason to make a good celebration! And that reason is our very existence!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/every-day-we-have-a-special-reason-to-make-a-good-celebration-and/)

[Mehmet Murat Ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/)

[Browse all 2,984 Birthday quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/birthday/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "I count too heavily on birthdays, though I know I shouldn't. Inevitably I begin to assess my life by them, figure out how I'm doing by how many people remember; it's like the old fantasy of attending your own funeral: You get to see who your friends are, get to see who shows up.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Lorrie Moore"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/i-count-too-heavily-on-birthdays-though-i-know-i-shouldn-t-inevitably/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Birthday"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/i-count-too-heavily-on-birthdays-though-i-know-i-shouldn-t-inevitably/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/lorrie-moore-870_birthday_i-count-too-heavily-on-birthdays-though_142633.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/lorrie-moore-870_birthday_i-count-too-heavily-on-birthdays-though_142633.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c19/lorrie-moore-870_birthday_i-count-too-heavily-on-birthdays-though_142633.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“I count too heavily on birthdays, though I know I shouldn't. Inevitably I begin to assess my life by them…” — Lorrie Moore",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Lorrie Moore",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "I count too heavily on birthdays,...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/i-count-too-heavily-on-birthdays-though-i-know-i-shouldn-t-inevitably/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/i-count-too-heavily-on-birthdays-though-i-know-i-shouldn-t-inevitably/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
