--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: We hate our parents for having their own…" description: "\"“We hate our parents for having their own lives, don’t we, for making decisions for themselves that don’t seem to take us into account. They’re not peo..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ed/lisa-unger-3678_live-and-love_we-hate-our-parents-for-having-their-own_74183.jpg" --- # We hate our parents for having their own lives, don’t we… ![“We hate our parents for having their own lives, don’t we, for making decisions for themselves that don’t seem to take us into account. They’re not people, not really. They’re parents; how dare they live and love and die without us?” quote by Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ed/lisa-unger-3678_live-and-love_we-hate-our-parents-for-having-their-own_74183.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ed/lisa-unger-3678_live-and-love_we-hate-our-parents-for-having-their-own_74183.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ed/lisa-unger-3678_live-and-love_we-hate-our-parents-for-having-their-own_74183.jpg) > ““We hate our parents for having their own lives, don’t we, for making decisions for themselves that don’t seem to take us into account. They’re not people, not really. They’re parents; how dare they live and love and die without us?”” [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. It expresses the resentment children feel when parents prioritize their own autonomy over the child's needs, treating the child as an obstacle rather than a person. **In simple terms:** Childhood resentment toward parental independence Key Takeaway Parents' self‑care can feel neglectful to kids Themes family dynamics parent‑child relationships autonomy neglect identity formation Mood melancholy frustration longing Type reflective critical emotive When to use this quote - adolescents feeling unheard - family therapy sessions - reflective journaling about upbringing - parental guilt discussions Key Concepts boundaries empathy dependency self‑actualization Practical Applications - guiding parents to balance self‑care with child awareness - helping youth articulate feelings of neglect Questions to Reflect On - How does parental autonomy affect a child's sense of security? - What boundaries can protect both parent and child needs? A Different Perspective Parents may argue they are modeling independence, not abandoning their child ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Live and love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/live-and-love/) [Making decisions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/making-decisions/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Parents](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parents/) ## Related quotes > [Having them in our lives makes us more even stronger than what we are before.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alyssa/having-them-in-our-lives-makes-us-more-even-stronger-than-what-we-are/) [ALYSSA](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alyssa/) > [When safety is our priority, we live our lives being very, very careful, and we wind up having no lives](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/byron-katie/when-safety-is-our-priority-we-live-our-lives-being-very-very-careful/) [Byron Katie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/byron-katie/) > [If there's such a thing as somebody having nine lives, I guess I'm somewhat in that category.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ron-rice/if-there-s-such-a-thing-as-somebody-having-nine-lives-i-guess-i-m/) Ron Rice > [I have a lady, she's a great lady. I love her a lot, she loves me. We're on the same page. Whenever that day…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-hamm/i-have-a-lady-she-s-a-great-lady-i-love-her-a-lot-she-loves-me-we-re/) [Jon Hamm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-hamm/) > [It's a sad moment, really, when parents first become a bit frightened of their children.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ama-ata-aidoo/it-s-a-sad-moment-really-when-parents-first-become-a-bit-frightened/) [Ama Ata Aidoo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ama-ata-aidoo/) > [Preschoolers sound much brighter and more knowledgeable than they really are, which is why so many parents and grandparents are sosure their progeny are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-elkind/preschoolers-sound-much-brighter-and-more-knowledgeable-than-they/) [David Elkind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-elkind/) > [If kids really made all the parents better, there wouldn't be crazy kids in the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vincent-cassel/if-kids-really-made-all-the-parents-better-there-wouldn-t-be-crazy/) [Vincent Cassel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vincent-cassel/) > [“I think the hardest thing we can ever do is see someone for who they really are. Our parents. Our friends. Ourselves.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-riordan/i-think-the-hardest-thing-we-can-ever-do-is-see-someone-for-who-they/) [Rick Riordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-riordan/) > [Its a sad moment, really, when parents first become a bit frightened of their children.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ama-ata-aidoo/its-a-sad-moment-really-when-parents-first-become-a-bit-frightened-of/) [Ama Ata Aidoo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ama-ata-aidoo/) > [“Adoption. A realized fantasy of your parents not really being your parents. Your genes could thrust one arm in the air and pump up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/adoption-a-realized-fantasy-of-your-parents-not-really-being-your/) [Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/) > [My childhood was bittersweet in many ways. We moved around a lot. By the time I was 10, I had travelled thousands of miles,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nile-rodgers/my-childhood-was-bittersweet-in-many-ways-we-moved-around-a-lot-by/) [Nile Rodgers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nile-rodgers/) > [It is important for children to understand that some of the disappointment their parents feel for them is often really the parents' disappointment in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-viscott/it-is-important-for-children-to-understand-that-some-of-the/) [David Viscott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-viscott/) > [In our culture, when the parents are having a tough time, the grandparents take care of the kids.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-sharpe/in-our-culture-when-the-parents-are-having-a-tough-time-the/) [Shannon Sharpe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-sharpe/) > [Divorce is very difficult, especially on the kids. Of course, I'm the result of my parents having stayed together, so you never know.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-alexander/divorce-is-very-difficult-especially-on-the-kids-of-course-i-m-the/) [Jason Alexander](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-alexander/) > [Some twins feel like they need to compare themselves to each other, but we're not that way. That's because of my parents, though, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashley-olsen/some-twins-feel-like-they-need-to-compare-themselves-to-each-other/) [Ashley Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashley-olsen/) ## More by Lisa Unger > [“When they’re small, they’re part of you, on you in bed, showering with you, climbing onto your lap, holding on to your leg. Slowly,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/when-they-re-small-they-re-part-of-you-on-you-in-bed-showering-with/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) > [“Depression is not dramatic, but it is total. It’s sneaky - you almost don’t notice it at first. Like a cat burglar, it comes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/depression-is-not-dramatic-but-it-is-total-it-s-sneaky-you-almost-don/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) > [“...in the end it's not just the big and small events that make you who you are, make your life what it is, it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/in-the-end-it-s-not-just-the-big-and-small-events-that-make-you-who/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) > [The Universe doesn't like secrets. It conspires to reveal the truth, to lead you to it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/the-universe-doesn-t-like-secrets-it-conspires-to-reveal-the-truth-to/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) > [“We have more patience for girls who act like boys than boys who act like girls. A tomboy is considered cute. One day she’ll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/we-have-more-patience-for-girls-who-act-like-boys-than-boys-who-act/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) > [“You didn't wind up on a pole without a lot of help from your family.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/you-didn-t-wind-up-on-a-pole-without-a-lot-of-help-from-your-family/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) > [Writers are first and foremost observers. We lose ourselves in the watching and then the telling of the world we find. Often we feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/writers-are-first-and-foremost-observers-we-lose-ourselves-in-the/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) > [I loved him so much. It didn't change all the reasons we couldn't be together, but it kept me returning to his body, kept…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/i-loved-him-so-much-it-didn-t-change-all-the-reasons-we-couldn-t-be/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) > [It was a strange lightness, a drifting feeling. Zero gravity. I understood that everything that once seemed solid and immovable might just float away.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/it-was-a-strange-lightness-a-drifting-feeling-zero-gravity-i/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) > [Of course, like all organic processes, there is an ebb and a flow to writing. One does not exist without the other. The writer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/of-course-like-all-organic-processes-there-is-an-ebb-and-a-flow-to/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) > [When you start to really know someone, all his physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in his energy, recognize the scent…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/when-you-start-to-really-know-someone-all-his-physical/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) > [It's strange how memory gets twisted and pulled like taffy in its retelling, how a single event can mean something different to everyone present.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/it-s-strange-how-memory-gets-twisted-and-pulled-like-taffy-in-its/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) > [Many people believe that evil is the presence of something. I think it's the absence of something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/many-people-believe-that-evil-is-the-presence-of-something-i-think-it/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) > [Even if someone is overcome with rage, it takes amazing arrogance to kill.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/even-if-someone-is-overcome-with-rage-it-takes-amazing-arrogance-to/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) > [“What does it mean to forgive someone? It only means that you release the anger, the hatred. It doesn't mean that you’re saying it’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-unger/what-does-it-mean-to-forgive-someone-it-only-means-that-you-release/) [Lisa Unger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) [Explore all 124 Lisa Unger quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-unger/) ## More Live and love quotes > [“Everything I’d fought for, every challenge, every victory … all of it was empty if anything happened to him. Without him, I wouldn’t have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-mead/everything-i-d-fought-for-every-challenge-every-victory-all-of-it-was/) [Richelle Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-mead/) > [That means life itself is a fairy tale. Like the characters, we all live and love and search for a happily-ever-after.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gena-showalter/that-means-life-itself-is-a-fairy-tale-like-the-characters-we-all/) [Gena Showalter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gena-showalter/) > [“To live and love is a great fulfillment.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/to-live-and-love-is-a-great-fulfillment/) [Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/) > [Even there, in the mines, underground, I may find a human heart in another convict and murderer by my side, and I may make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/even-there-in-the-mines-underground-i-may-find-a-human-heart-in/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I believe we recover from loss by facing the loss, grieving, going deep inside ourselves (hopefully with a guide) and re-emerging to live and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francesca-lia-block/i-believe-we-recover-from-loss-by-facing-the-loss-grieving-going-deep/) [Francesca Lia Block](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francesca-lia-block/) > [“Powerlessness is dangerous. For most of us, the inability to effect change is a desperate feeling. We need resilience and hope and a spirit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bren-brown/powerlessness-is-dangerous-for-most-of-us-the-inability-to-effect/) [Brené Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bren-brown/) > [“Think of the times in your life when you have been deeply passionate about something. Whether it is for your family, a cause, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-c-young/think-of-the-times-in-your-life-when-you-have-been-deeply-passionate/) [Susan C. Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-c-young/) > [I yearn to live and love and burn, and yet so much of my time is spent faking and forgetting, faking and forgetting I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-foreman/i-yearn-to-live-and-love-and-burn-and-yet-so-much-of-my-time-is-spent/) [Jon Foreman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-foreman/) > [Word life means: never give up just breathe live and love those things means life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/canada-serdyuk/word-life-means-never-give-up-just-breathe-live-and-love-those-things/) [Canada Serdyuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/canada-serdyuk/) > [“Live and love to the fullest, waste nothing, take nothing for granted.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/monica-millard/live-and-love-to-the-fullest-waste-nothing-take-nothing-for-granted/) Monica Millard > [A quote is a feeling someone is haveing at that moment in live.Fell live and love. George](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-yurjevich/a-quote-is-a-feeling-someone-is-haveing-at-that-moment-in-live-fell/) George Yurjevich > [“Until we begin to question our basic assumptions about ourselves and view them as fluid, not fixed, it’s easy to repeat established patterns and,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-salzberg/until-we-begin-to-question-our-basic-assumptions-about-ourselves-and/) [Sharon Salzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-salzberg/) > [“But when it comes to life or love, I choose life. I’m here right now, ready to live and love another day. I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karina-halle/but-when-it-comes-to-life-or-love-i-choose-life-i-m-here-right-now/) [Karina Halle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karina-halle/) > [“Brother, these last two months I've found in myself a new man. A new man has risen up in me. He was hidden in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fyodor-dostoyevsky/brother-these-last-two-months-i-ve-found-in-myself-a-new-man-a-new/) [Fyodor Dostoyevsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fyodor-dostoyevsky/) > [“Venus is kind to creatures as young as we; We know not what we do, and while we’re young We have the right to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/venus-is-kind-to-creatures-as-young-as-we-we-know-not-what-we-do-and/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) [Browse all 87 Live and love quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/live-and-love/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“We hate our parents for having their own lives, don’t we, for making decisions for themselves that don’t seem to take us into account. They’re not people, not really. 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