--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It's queer how the thing what attracted…" description: "\"“It's queer how the thing what attracted you to someone is the same as what you come to despise about them”\" — Lionel Shriver" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ae/lionel-shriver-744_despise_it-s-queer-how-the-thing-what-attracted_702199.jpg" --- # It's queer how the thing what attracted you to someone is… ![“It's queer how the thing what attracted you to someone is the same as what you come to despise about them” quote by Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ae/lionel-shriver-744_despise_it-s-queer-how-the-thing-what-attracted_702199.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ae/lionel-shriver-744_despise_it-s-queer-how-the-thing-what-attracted_702199.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ae/lionel-shriver-744_despise_it-s-queer-how-the-thing-what-attracted_702199.jpg) > ““It's queer how the thing what attracted you to someone is the same as what you come to despise about them”” [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Attraction often stems from traits that later become sources of disappointment, highlighting the paradox of intimacy. **In simple terms:** What you like can become what you dislike. Key Takeaway Beware of idealizing early attractions. Themes relationships paradox expectations Mood reflective cautious Type analytical philosophical When to use this quote - dating - friendships - workplace dynamics - family relationships Key Concepts psychology cognitive bias Questions to Reflect On - What qualities do you value most in others? - How can you reconcile initial attraction with later disillusion? A Different Perspective Attractions may be based on superficial traits that change over time. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Queer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/queer/) ## Related quotes > [“Do you see the queer thing about people like me? Sometimes we hold your retribution.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jamaica-kincaid/do-you-see-the-queer-thing-about-people-like-me-sometimes-we-hold/) [Jamaica Kincaid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jamaica-kincaid/) > [“Technology . . . is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-e-richards/technology-is-a-queer-thing-it-brings-you-great-gifts-with-one-hand-2/) [Douglas E. Richards](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-e-richards/) > [“What a queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if you see what I mean.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse/what-a-queer-thing-life-is-so-unlike-anything-else-don-t-you-know-if/) [P.G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse/) > [Luck is a mighty queer thing. All you know about it for certain is that it's bound to change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-harte/luck-is-a-mighty-queer-thing-all-you-know-about-it-for-certain-is/) Ben Harte > [“If you come to think of it, what a queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if you see what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-g-wodehouse/if-you-come-to-think-of-it-what-a-queer-thing-life-is-so-unlike/) [P.G. Wodehouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-g-wodehouse/) > [Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/technology-is-a-queer-thing-it-brings-you-great-gifts-with-one-hand/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It is a queer thing, but imaginary troubles are harder to bear than actual ones.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-dix/it-is-a-queer-thing-but-imaginary-troubles-are-harder-to-bear-than/) [Dorothy Dix](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-dix/) > [We can all find it in our hearts to come together as one, even with those we despise in their hour of need!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/we-can-all-find-it-in-our-hearts-to-come-together-as-one-even-with/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [So this is how a person can come to despise himself-knowing he's doing the wrong thing and not being able to stop.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-keyes/so-this-is-how-a-person-can-come-to-despise-himself-knowing-he-s/) [Daniel Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-keyes/) > [The thing I am attracted to is just good writing and stories that are based somewhat in reality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-aniston/the-thing-i-am-attracted-to-is-just-good-writing-and-stories-that-are/) [Jennifer Aniston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-aniston/) > [The thing I was attracted to as a little girl was Kirk, Bones and Spock, and their utter loyalty. There's nothing more powerful than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jolene-blalock/the-thing-i-was-attracted-to-as-a-little-girl-was-kirk-bones-and/) [Jolene Blalock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jolene-blalock/) > [“It was one thing to be attracted to bad boys, something I usually didn’t suffer from. It was another to be attracted to bad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/it-was-one-thing-to-be-attracted-to-bad-boys-something-i-usually-didn-2/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [The thing that attracted me to my husband was his pride. I'll never forget the first time I saw him, standing up on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-carroll/the-thing-that-attracted-me-to-my-husband-was-his-pride-i-ll-never/) Jean Carroll > [“When a man does a queer thing, or two queer things, there may be a meaning to it, but when everything he does is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/when-a-man-does-a-queer-thing-or-two-queer-things-there-may-be-a/) [Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/) > [“Technology is a queer thing. It brings you gifts with one hand, and stabs you in the back with the other.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-p-snow/technology-is-a-queer-thing-it-brings-you-gifts-with-one-hand-and/) [C.P. Snow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-p-snow/) ## More by Lionel Shriver > [The discovery that heartbreak is indeed heartbreaking consoles us about our humanity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/the-discovery-that-heartbreak-is-indeed-heartbreaking-consoles-us/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“I’m a journalist, and journalists need news. Deprive them of it, and they go a bit barking. Deprive them of news long enough, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/i-m-a-journalist-and-journalists-need-news-deprive-them-of-it-and/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“One of the things I learned with Charles," said Gray carefully, "was that finding someone like you does not necessarily mean that either of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/one-of-the-things-i-learned-with-charles-said-gray-carefully-was-that/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [In the particular dwells the tawdry. In the conceptual dwells the grand, the transcendent, the everlasting. Earthly countries and single malignant boys can go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/in-the-particular-dwells-the-tawdry-in-the-conceptual-dwells-the/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“The idea is that you don't only have one destiny. Younger and younger, kids are pressed to decide what they want to do with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/the-idea-is-that-you-don-t-only-have-one-destiny-younger-and-younger/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [Oddly, for a book to do well merely because people like it is surprisingly rare.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/oddly-for-a-book-to-do-well-merely-because-people-like-it-is/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“And there's a freedom in apathy, a wild, dizzying liberation on which you can almost get drunk.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/and-there-s-a-freedom-in-apathy-a-wild-dizzying-liberation-on-which/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [The sign that I don't like the book I'm reading is finding myself watching reruns of 'Come Dine With Me.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/the-sign-that-i-don-t-like-the-book-i-m-reading-is-finding-myself/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [We speak often of 'destroying the planet' when what we mean is destroying its habitability for humans.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/we-speak-often-of-destroying-the-planet-when-what-we-mean-is/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [My agent had warned that, while a fine film would do my profile a world of good, a bad one wouldn't help me at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/my-agent-had-warned-that-while-a-fine-film-would-do-my-profile-a/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“I think that's the biggest favor you can grant anyone, don't you? Permission to be dull. I know Henry will sometimes say something so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/i-think-that-s-the-biggest-favor-you-can-grant-anyone-don-t-you/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“They were determined to find something mechanically wrong with him - because broken machines are easier to fix. p303”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/they-were-determined-to-find-something-mechanically-wrong-with-him/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“Bur Armenians have a talent for sorrow.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/bur-armenians-have-a-talent-for-sorrow/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“What is cool changes; that there is such a thing as cool is immutable.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/what-is-cool-changes-that-there-is-such-a-thing-as-cool-is-immutable/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“I have theorized that you can locate most people on a spectrum of the crudest sort and that it may be their position on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/i-have-theorized-that-you-can-locate-most-people-on-a-spectrum-of-the/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) [Explore all 375 Lionel Shriver quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) ## More Despise quotes > [My whole life has conspired to bring me to this place, and I can’t despise my whole life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-kushner/my-whole-life-has-conspired-to-bring-me-to-this-place-and-i-can-t/) [Tony Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-kushner/) > [It may be important to great thinkers to examine the world, to explain and despise it. But I think it is only important to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hermann-hesse/it-may-be-important-to-great-thinkers-to-examine-the-world-to-explain/) [Hermann Hesse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hermann-hesse/) > [“You don’t know what it’s like to worry you’ll start to despise the people who help you, the ones you should love, because they’re…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tracy-guzeman/you-don-t-know-what-it-s-like-to-worry-you-ll-start-to-despise-the/) [Tracy Guzeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tracy-guzeman/) > [Never despise a drink because it is easy to make and/or uses commercial mixes. Unquestioning devotion to authenticity is, in any department of life,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kingsley-amis/never-despise-a-drink-because-it-is-easy-to-make-and-or-uses/) [Kingsley Amis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kingsley-amis/) > [Everyone has conscience enough to hate; few have religion enough to love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-ward-beecher/everyone-has-conscience-enough-to-hate-few-have-religion-enough-to/) [Henry Ward Beecher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-ward-beecher/) > [I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who "despises" having sex with her husband - and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/i-agree-that-biphobia-is-real-but-i-think-it-s-absolutely-worth/) [Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/) > [If you want to know how to make people shun you and laugh at you behind your back and even despise you, here is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dale-carnegie/if-you-want-to-know-how-to-make-people-shun-you-and-laugh-at-you/) [Dale Carnegie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dale-carnegie/) > [Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/russians-not-only-vehemently-despise-blacks-they-believe-africa/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [I despise a person of little mind - one might as well not have any.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-dunham-kelley-hawkins/i-despise-a-person-of-little-mind-one-might-as-well-not-have-any/) Emma Dunham Kelley-Hawkins > [I despise computers in many ways. I think they’re hopelessly underevolved and overrated.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-eno/i-despise-computers-in-many-ways-i-think-they-re-hopelessly/) [Brian Eno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-eno/) > [With the single exception of Homer, there is no eminent writer, not even Sir Walter Scott, whom I can despise so entirely as I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-bernard-shaw/with-the-single-exception-of-homer-there-is-no-eminent-writer-not/) [George Bernard Shaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-bernard-shaw/) > [I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-wortley-montagu/i-despise-the-pleasure-of-pleasing-people-that-i-despise/) [Mary Wortley Montagu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-wortley-montagu/) > [It was beautiful and rare, and you have every right to despise me." She stood pressed to the wall, not moving. "When you came…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ayn-rand/it-was-beautiful-and-rare-and-you-have-every-right-to-despise-me-she/) [Ayn Rand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ayn-rand/) > [“I'm really starting to despise good -nights and good -byes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mi-juan-yu-tu/i-m-really-starting-to-despise-good-nights-and-good-byes/) Mi Juan Yu tu > [But miserable most, to love unloved? This you should pity rather than despise](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/but-miserable-most-to-love-unloved-this-you-should-pity-rather-than/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) Browse all 918 Despise quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It's queer how the thing what attracted you to someone is the same as what you come to despise about them”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lionel Shriver" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/it-s-queer-how-the-thing-what-attracted-you-to-someone-is-the-same-as/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Despise" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/it-s-queer-how-the-thing-what-attracted-you-to-someone-is-the-same-as/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ae/lionel-shriver-744_despise_it-s-queer-how-the-thing-what-attracted_702199.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ae/lionel-shriver-744_despise_it-s-queer-how-the-thing-what-attracted_702199.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ae/lionel-shriver-744_despise_it-s-queer-how-the-thing-what-attracted_702199.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's queer how the thing what attracted you to someone is the same as what you come to despise about them” — Lionel Shriver", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Lionel Shriver", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“It's queer how the thing what...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/it-s-queer-how-the-thing-what-attracted-you-to-someone-is-the-same-as/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/it-s-queer-how-the-thing-what-attracted-you-to-someone-is-the-same-as/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```