--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: But after I’d survived for so long on the…" description: "\"“But after I’d survived for so long on the scraps from my own emotional table, you spoiled me with a daily banquet of complicitous what-an-asshole look..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/lionel-shriver-744_spoiled_but-after-i-d-survived-for-so-long-on-th_687902.jpg" --- # But after I’d survived for so long on the scraps from my… ![“But after I’d survived for so long on the scraps from my own emotional table, you spoiled me with a daily banquet of complicitous what-an-asshole looks at parties, surprise bouquets for no occasion, and fridge-magnet notes that always signed off “XXXX, Franklin.” quote by Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/lionel-shriver-744_spoiled_but-after-i-d-survived-for-so-long-on-th_687902.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/lionel-shriver-744_spoiled_but-after-i-d-survived-for-so-long-on-th_687902.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/lionel-shriver-744_spoiled_but-after-i-d-survived-for-so-long-on-th_687902.jpg) > ““But after I’d survived for so long on the scraps from my own emotional table, you spoiled me with a daily banquet of complicitous what-an-asshole looks at parties, surprise bouquets for no occasion, and fridge-magnet notes that always signed off “XXXX, Franklin.”” [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Surviving on emotional neglect, the narrator is overwhelmed by superficial gestures that feel insincere and burdensome. **In simple terms:** False kindness feels overwhelming after genuine hardship. Key Takeaway Recognize and set boundaries with hollow gestures. Themes emotional neglect superficiality boundaries Mood conflicted irritated Type reflective critical When to use this quote - family gatherings - workplace celebrations - personal relationships Key Concepts authenticity social expectations emotional labor Questions to Reflect On - Do you accept gestures that feel empty? - How can you express your needs clearly? A Different Perspective These gestures may mask deeper issues rather than genuine care. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Banquet Complicitous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/banquet-complicitous-5472089/) [Scraps Emotional](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/scraps-emotional-5472090/) [Spoiled](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spoiled/) [Spoiled Daily](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spoiled-daily-5472088/) [Xxxx Franklin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/xxxx-franklin-5472091/) ## Related quotes > [I am an only child, and I guess was spoiled by my parents.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mordecai-brown/i-am-an-only-child-and-i-guess-was-spoiled-by-my-parents/) [Mordecai Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mordecai-brown/) > [I've been spoiled being in the fashion business. My son will be like, 'Mommy, 20 new pairs of shoes came today. How come?' Because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gwen-stefani/i-ve-been-spoiled-being-in-the-fashion-business-my-son-will-be-like/) [Gwen Stefani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gwen-stefani/) > [“The only thing that counted to her was her own opinion of herself. If that became smirched or spoiled there would be nothing left.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josephine-tey/the-only-thing-that-counted-to-her-was-her-own-opinion-of-herself-if/) [Josephine Tey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josephine-tey/) > [A child in the U.S. screams & cries when their parents say no for them getting the latest apple device just because other friends…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-dash/a-child-in-the-u-s-screams-cries-when-their-parents-say-no-for-them/) [C-DASH](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-dash/) > [“Insects have always spoiled my life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-oise-hardy/insects-have-always-spoiled-my-life/) [Françoise Hardy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-oise-hardy/) > [I don't have the desires of a spoiled child. I never did.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/princess-stephanie-of-monaco/i-don-t-have-the-desires-of-a-spoiled-child-i-never-did/) [Princess Stephanie of Monaco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/princess-stephanie-of-monaco/) > [Every time some spoiled European soccer millionaire complains about the blaring vuvuzelas, I want them to blare louder.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/serge-schmemann/every-time-some-spoiled-european-soccer-millionaire-complains-about/) [Serge Schmemann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/serge-schmemann/) > [At Oxford University, I studied languages so I could read the great novels as they were originally written. I took what in the United…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-beckinsale/at-oxford-university-i-studied-languages-so-i-could-read-the-great/) [Kate Beckinsale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-beckinsale/) > [Life asks not merely what you can do; it asks how much can you endure and not be spoiled.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-emerson-fosdick/life-asks-not-merely-what-you-can-do-it-asks-how-much-can-you-endure/) [Harry Emerson Fosdick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-emerson-fosdick/) > [And then, all of a sudden, you're like, all that's great and fun, but Arthur Miller's in my dressing room. This is the third…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-krause/and-then-all-of-a-sudden-you-re-like-all-that-s-great-and-fun-but/) [Peter Krause](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-krause/) > [Annabelle gave him a chiding smile. “If you’re implying that I’m spoiled, I assure you that I am not.” “You should be.” His warm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-kleypas/annabelle-gave-him-a-chiding-smile-if-you-re-implying-that-i-m/) [Lisa Kleypas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-kleypas/) > [Yet some natures are too good to be spoiled by praise, and wherever the vein of thought reaches down into the profound, there is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/yet-some-natures-are-too-good-to-be-spoiled-by-praise-and-wherever/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [Men will never rest till they've spoiled the earth and destroyed the animals.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-adams/men-will-never-rest-till-they-ve-spoiled-the-earth-and-destroyed-the/) [Richard Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-adams/) > [I was spoiled and I was arrogant. I was very demanding, had an overblown image of who I was and got a reputation for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judge-reinhold/i-was-spoiled-and-i-was-arrogant-i-was-very-demanding-had-an/) [Judge Reinhold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judge-reinhold/) > ['Maneater' is about N.Y.C. in the '80s. It's about greed, avarice, and spoiled riches.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oates/maneater-is-about-n-y-c-in-the-80s-it-s-about-greed-avarice-and/) [John Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oates/) ## More by Lionel Shriver > [The discovery that heartbreak is indeed heartbreaking consoles us about our humanity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/the-discovery-that-heartbreak-is-indeed-heartbreaking-consoles-us/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“I’m a journalist, and journalists need news. Deprive them of it, and they go a bit barking. Deprive them of news long enough, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/i-m-a-journalist-and-journalists-need-news-deprive-them-of-it-and/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“One of the things I learned with Charles," said Gray carefully, "was that finding someone like you does not necessarily mean that either of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/one-of-the-things-i-learned-with-charles-said-gray-carefully-was-that/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [In the particular dwells the tawdry. In the conceptual dwells the grand, the transcendent, the everlasting. Earthly countries and single malignant boys can go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/in-the-particular-dwells-the-tawdry-in-the-conceptual-dwells-the/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“The idea is that you don't only have one destiny. Younger and younger, kids are pressed to decide what they want to do with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/the-idea-is-that-you-don-t-only-have-one-destiny-younger-and-younger/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [Oddly, for a book to do well merely because people like it is surprisingly rare.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/oddly-for-a-book-to-do-well-merely-because-people-like-it-is/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“And there's a freedom in apathy, a wild, dizzying liberation on which you can almost get drunk.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/and-there-s-a-freedom-in-apathy-a-wild-dizzying-liberation-on-which/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [The sign that I don't like the book I'm reading is finding myself watching reruns of 'Come Dine With Me.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/the-sign-that-i-don-t-like-the-book-i-m-reading-is-finding-myself/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [We speak often of 'destroying the planet' when what we mean is destroying its habitability for humans.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/we-speak-often-of-destroying-the-planet-when-what-we-mean-is/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [My agent had warned that, while a fine film would do my profile a world of good, a bad one wouldn't help me at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/my-agent-had-warned-that-while-a-fine-film-would-do-my-profile-a/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“I think that's the biggest favor you can grant anyone, don't you? Permission to be dull. I know Henry will sometimes say something so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/i-think-that-s-the-biggest-favor-you-can-grant-anyone-don-t-you/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“They were determined to find something mechanically wrong with him - because broken machines are easier to fix. p303”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/they-were-determined-to-find-something-mechanically-wrong-with-him/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“Bur Armenians have a talent for sorrow.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/bur-armenians-have-a-talent-for-sorrow/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“What is cool changes; that there is such a thing as cool is immutable.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/what-is-cool-changes-that-there-is-such-a-thing-as-cool-is-immutable/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“I have theorized that you can locate most people on a spectrum of the crudest sort and that it may be their position on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/i-have-theorized-that-you-can-locate-most-people-on-a-spectrum-of-the/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) [Explore all 375 Lionel Shriver quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) ## More Spoiled quotes > [I am an only child, and I guess was spoiled by my parents.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mordecai-brown/i-am-an-only-child-and-i-guess-was-spoiled-by-my-parents/) [Mordecai Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mordecai-brown/) > [I was spoiled and I was arrogant. I was very demanding, had an overblown image of who I was and got a reputation for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judge-reinhold/i-was-spoiled-and-i-was-arrogant-i-was-very-demanding-had-an/) [Judge Reinhold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judge-reinhold/) > [Men will never rest till they've spoiled the earth and destroyed the animals.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-adams/men-will-never-rest-till-they-ve-spoiled-the-earth-and-destroyed-the/) [Richard Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-adams/) > [Yet some natures are too good to be spoiled by praise, and wherever the vein of thought reaches down into the profound, there is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/yet-some-natures-are-too-good-to-be-spoiled-by-praise-and-wherever/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [Annabelle gave him a chiding smile. “If you’re implying that I’m spoiled, I assure you that I am not.” “You should be.” His warm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-kleypas/annabelle-gave-him-a-chiding-smile-if-you-re-implying-that-i-m/) [Lisa Kleypas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-kleypas/) > [And then, all of a sudden, you're like, all that's great and fun, but Arthur Miller's in my dressing room. This is the third…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-krause/and-then-all-of-a-sudden-you-re-like-all-that-s-great-and-fun-but/) [Peter Krause](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-krause/) > [Life asks not merely what you can do; it asks how much can you endure and not be spoiled.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-emerson-fosdick/life-asks-not-merely-what-you-can-do-it-asks-how-much-can-you-endure/) [Harry Emerson Fosdick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-emerson-fosdick/) > [At Oxford University, I studied languages so I could read the great novels as they were originally written. I took what in the United…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-beckinsale/at-oxford-university-i-studied-languages-so-i-could-read-the-great/) [Kate Beckinsale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-beckinsale/) > [Every time some spoiled European soccer millionaire complains about the blaring vuvuzelas, I want them to blare louder.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/serge-schmemann/every-time-some-spoiled-european-soccer-millionaire-complains-about/) [Serge Schmemann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/serge-schmemann/) > [I don't have the desires of a spoiled child. I never did.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/princess-stephanie-of-monaco/i-don-t-have-the-desires-of-a-spoiled-child-i-never-did/) [Princess Stephanie of Monaco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/princess-stephanie-of-monaco/) > [“Insects have always spoiled my life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-oise-hardy/insects-have-always-spoiled-my-life/) [Françoise Hardy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-oise-hardy/) > [A child in the U.S. screams & cries when their parents say no for them getting the latest apple device just because other friends…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-dash/a-child-in-the-u-s-screams-cries-when-their-parents-say-no-for-them/) [C-DASH](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-dash/) > [“The only thing that counted to her was her own opinion of herself. If that became smirched or spoiled there would be nothing left.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josephine-tey/the-only-thing-that-counted-to-her-was-her-own-opinion-of-herself-if/) [Josephine Tey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josephine-tey/) > [I've been spoiled being in the fashion business. My son will be like, 'Mommy, 20 new pairs of shoes came today. How come?' Because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gwen-stefani/i-ve-been-spoiled-being-in-the-fashion-business-my-son-will-be-like/) [Gwen Stefani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gwen-stefani/) > ['Maneater' is about N.Y.C. in the '80s. It's about greed, avarice, and spoiled riches.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oates/maneater-is-about-n-y-c-in-the-80s-it-s-about-greed-avarice-and/) [John Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oates/) [Browse all 484 Spoiled quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spoiled/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“But after I’d survived for so long on the scraps from my own emotional table, you spoiled me with a daily banquet of complicitous what-an-asshole looks at parties, surprise bouquets for no occasion, and fridge-magnet notes that always signed off “XXXX, Franklin.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lionel Shriver" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/but-after-i-d-survived-for-so-long-on-the-scraps-from-my-own/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Spoiled" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/but-after-i-d-survived-for-so-long-on-the-scraps-from-my-own/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/lionel-shriver-744_spoiled_but-after-i-d-survived-for-so-long-on-th_687902.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/lionel-shriver-744_spoiled_but-after-i-d-survived-for-so-long-on-th_687902.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/lionel-shriver-744_spoiled_but-after-i-d-survived-for-so-long-on-th_687902.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“But after I’d survived for so long on the scraps from my own emotional table, you spoiled me with a daily…” — Lionel Shriver", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Lionel Shriver", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“But after I’d survived for so...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/but-after-i-d-survived-for-so-long-on-the-scraps-from-my-own/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/but-after-i-d-survived-for-so-long-on-the-scraps-from-my-own/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```