--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I sometimes think of people’s…" description: "\"“I sometimes think of people’s personalities as the negative space around their insecurities. Afraid of intimacy? Cultivate aloofness. Feel invisible? ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4e/lindy-west-7781_aloofness_i-sometimes-think-of-people-s-personalit_2223498.jpg" --- # I sometimes think of people’s personalities as the… ![“I sometimes think of people’s personalities as the negative space around their insecurities. Afraid of intimacy? Cultivate aloofness. Feel invisible? Laugh loud and often. Drink too much? Play the gregarious basket case. Hate your body? Slash and burn others so you can climb up the pile. We…” quote by Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4e/lindy-west-7781_aloofness_i-sometimes-think-of-people-s-personalit_2223498.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4e/lindy-west-7781_aloofness_i-sometimes-think-of-people-s-personalit_2223498.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4e/lindy-west-7781_aloofness_i-sometimes-think-of-people-s-personalit_2223498.jpg) > ““I sometimes think of people’s personalities as the negative space around their insecurities. Afraid of intimacy? Cultivate aloofness. Feel invisible? Laugh loud and often. Drink too much? Play the gregarious basket case. Hate your body? Slash and burn others so you can climb up the pile. We construct elaborate palaces to hide our vulnerabilities, often growing into caricatures of what we fear. The goal is to move through the world without anyone knowing quite where to dig a thumb. It’s a survival instinct. When people know how to hurt you, they know how to control you. But when you're a fat person, you can't hide your vulnerability, because you are it and it is you. Being fat is like walking around with a sandwich board that says, "HERE'S WHERE TO HURT ME!" That's why reclaiming fatness--living visibly, declaring, "I'm fat and I am not ashamed"--is a social tool so revolutionary, so liberating, it saves lives.”” [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote argues that people mask insecurities with personas, especially fat individuals who cannot hide their vulnerability, and that openly embracing fatness can be empowering and protective. **In simple terms:** People hide flaws with false selves; fat people can’t hide theirs, so owning it can empower. Key Takeaway Own your vulnerability to reclaim power. Themes identity vulnerability body image social stigma empowerment Mood defiant hopeful provocative Type personal social commentary When to use this quote - personal relationships - public speaking - activism - support groups Key Concepts self‑presentation stigma management visibility social resistance Questions to Reflect On - How can you balance visibility with safety? - What strategies protect against backlash? A Different Perspective Visibility can invite unwanted attention or discrimination. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Aloofness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/aloofness/) [Basket Case](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/basket-case/) [Cultivate Aloofness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cultivate-aloofness-4972492/) [Fat Person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fat-person/) [Fatness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fatness/) [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Negative space](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/negative-space/) [Reclaiming Fatness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reclaiming-fatness-4972493/) [Survival instinct](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/survival-instinct/) [Vulnerability Fat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vulnerability-fat-4972491/) [Walking around](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/walking-around/) [Weight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/weight/) ## Related quotes > [“sometimes think of people’s personalities as the negative space around their insecurities. Afraid of intimacy? Cultivate aloofness. Feel invisible? Laugh loud and often. Drink…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/sometimes-think-of-people-s-personalities-as-the-negative-space/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [“The world needs someone they can admire from a distance; from a very far distance.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-bassey-johnson/the-world-needs-someone-they-can-admire-from-a-distance-from-a-very/) [Michael Bassey Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-bassey-johnson/) > [Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve its dignity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-g-dawes/mediocrity-requires-aloofness-to-preserve-its-dignity/) [Charles G. Dawes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-g-dawes/) > [The worst danger of the mystic is as always a quest of spiritual privilege leading to aloofness from the common lot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vida-dutton-scudder/the-worst-danger-of-the-mystic-is-as-always-a-quest-of-spiritual/) [Vida Dutton Scudder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vida-dutton-scudder/) > [Fame, or notoriety, whichever that special noise may be called when the world like a hound 'gives tongue' and announces that the quarry in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-corelli/fame-or-notoriety-whichever-that-special-noise-may-be-called-when-the/) [Marie Corelli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-corelli/) > [Being aloof is something that you are the only person in your world,… with identical thoughts and you are the only true, loyal friend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-felix-prabhu/being-aloof-is-something-that-you-are-the-only-person-in-your-world/) [Leo Felix Prabhu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-felix-prabhu/) > [A thousand pieces of gold may hardly bring a moment's happiness, but a small favor can cause a lifetime's gratitude. Too much love can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zicheng-hong/a-thousand-pieces-of-gold-may-hardly-bring-a-moment-s-happiness-but-a/) [Zicheng Hong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zicheng-hong/) > [It can be difficult to be an introvert in church, especially if you happen to be the pastor. Liking to be alone can be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-brown-taylor/it-can-be-difficult-to-be-an-introvert-in-church-especially-if-you/) [Barbara Brown Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-brown-taylor/) > [The largest and most influential houses chiefly demonstrate the aloofness of the French approach.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-gardiner/the-largest-and-most-influential-houses-chiefly-demonstrate-the/) [Stephen Gardiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-gardiner/) > [“A wounded heart needs aloof.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/a-wounded-heart-needs-aloof/) [Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/) > [I was drawn to his aloofness, the way cats gravitate toward people who’d rather avoid them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-hartman/i-was-drawn-to-his-aloofness-the-way-cats-gravitate-toward-people-who/) [Rachel Hartman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-hartman/) > [The very problem of mind and body suggests division; I do not know of anything so disastrously affected by the habit of division as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dewey/the-very-problem-of-mind-and-body-suggests-division-i-do-not-know-of/) [John Dewey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dewey/) > [An essential quality of beauty is aloofness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/austin-o-malley/an-essential-quality-of-beauty-is-aloofness/) [Austin O'Malley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/austin-o-malley/) > [There is something sublime about its aloofness from and its indifference to its external environment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-soddy/there-is-something-sublime-about-its-aloofness-from-and-its/) [Frederick Soddy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-soddy/) > [Veganism can resurrect Eden and create heaven on Earth. We can have a place where humans view animals in awe, and animals view humans…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-yourofsky/veganism-can-resurrect-eden-and-create-heaven-on-earth-we-can-have-a/) [Gary Yourofsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-yourofsky/) ## More by Lindy West > [“Thanks for nothing, regular human mom. Footnote: nothing except for the unconditional love and support and meticulous care to make sure I faced the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/thanks-for-nothing-regular-human-mom-footnote-nothing-except-for-the/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [The messaging campaign that stigmatized the term feminist definitely worked on me when I was a teenager. I always believed in equality, but there's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/the-messaging-campaign-that-stigmatized-the-term-feminist-definitely/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [“Honestly, this 'Where do you get your confidence?' chapter could be sixteen words long. Because there was really only one step to my body…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/honestly-this-where-do-you-get-your-confidence-chapter-could-be/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [“I never did manage to lose weight, though - not significantly - and my minor "successes" weren't through any eating patterns that could be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/i-never-did-manage-to-lose-weight-though-not-significantly-and-my/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [I don't want any woman to think that I don't have empathy and deep care for all women's body issues. I just want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/i-don-t-want-any-woman-to-think-that-i-don-t-have-empathy-and-deep/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [“So, what do you do when you're too big, in a world where bigness is cast not only as aesthetically objectionable, but also as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/so-what-do-you-do-when-you-re-too-big-in-a-world-where-bigness-is/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [“Privilege means that it’s easy for white women to do each other favors. Privilege means that those of us who need it the least…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/privilege-means-that-it-s-easy-for-white-women-to-do-each-other/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [I've always been an escapist, I guess, and I spend so much time on the internet absorbing ideas and processing the horrors of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/i-ve-always-been-an-escapist-i-guess-and-i-spend-so-much-time-on-the/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [“We do not stigmatize people with stomach flu. The active ingredient in period stigma is misogyny.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/we-do-not-stigmatize-people-with-stomach-flu-the-active-ingredient-in/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [“Don’t tell thin women to eat a cheeseburger. Don’t tell fat women to put down the fork. Don’t tell underweight men to bulk up.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/don-t-tell-thin-women-to-eat-a-cheeseburger-don-t-tell-fat-women-to/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [Indignation and determination are much more constructive emotions than shame and embarrassment. And feminism was this engine that turned one into the other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/indignation-and-determination-are-much-more-constructive-emotions/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [“I hate being fat. I hate the way people look at me, or don't. I hate being a joke; I hate the disorienting limbo…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/i-hate-being-fat-i-hate-the-way-people-look-at-me-or-don-t-i-hate/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [“To be shrill is to reach above your station; to abandon your duty to soothe and please; in short, to be heard. I”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/to-be-shrill-is-to-reach-above-your-station-to-abandon-your-duty-to/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [“There are no “good” abortions and “bad” abortions, there are only pregnant people who want them and pregnant people who don’t, pregnant people who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/there-are-no-good-abortions-and-bad-abortions-there-are-only-pregnant/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [“No, no one thought that a spontaneous gang rape was going to take place just then on the stage of the Laugh Factory. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/no-no-one-thought-that-a-spontaneous-gang-rape-was-going-to-take/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) [Explore all 87 Lindy West quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) ## More Aloofness quotes > [It can be difficult to be an introvert in church, especially if you happen to be the pastor. Liking to be alone can be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-brown-taylor/it-can-be-difficult-to-be-an-introvert-in-church-especially-if-you/) [Barbara Brown Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-brown-taylor/) > [There is something sublime about its aloofness from and its indifference to its external environment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-soddy/there-is-something-sublime-about-its-aloofness-from-and-its/) [Frederick Soddy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-soddy/) > [An essential quality of beauty is aloofness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/austin-o-malley/an-essential-quality-of-beauty-is-aloofness/) [Austin O'Malley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/austin-o-malley/) > [The very problem of mind and body suggests division; I do not know of anything so disastrously affected by the habit of division as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dewey/the-very-problem-of-mind-and-body-suggests-division-i-do-not-know-of/) [John Dewey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dewey/) > [I was drawn to his aloofness, the way cats gravitate toward people who’d rather avoid them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-hartman/i-was-drawn-to-his-aloofness-the-way-cats-gravitate-toward-people-who/) [Rachel Hartman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-hartman/) > [“A wounded heart needs aloof.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/a-wounded-heart-needs-aloof/) [Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/) > [The largest and most influential houses chiefly demonstrate the aloofness of the French approach.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-gardiner/the-largest-and-most-influential-houses-chiefly-demonstrate-the/) [Stephen Gardiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-gardiner/) > [“sometimes think of people’s personalities as the negative space around their insecurities. Afraid of intimacy? Cultivate aloofness. Feel invisible? Laugh loud and often. Drink…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/sometimes-think-of-people-s-personalities-as-the-negative-space/) [Lindy West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lindy-west/) > [A thousand pieces of gold may hardly bring a moment's happiness, but a small favor can cause a lifetime's gratitude. Too much love can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zicheng-hong/a-thousand-pieces-of-gold-may-hardly-bring-a-moment-s-happiness-but-a/) [Zicheng Hong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zicheng-hong/) > [Being aloof is something that you are the only person in your world,… with identical thoughts and you are the only true, loyal friend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-felix-prabhu/being-aloof-is-something-that-you-are-the-only-person-in-your-world/) [Leo Felix Prabhu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-felix-prabhu/) > [Fame, or notoriety, whichever that special noise may be called when the world like a hound 'gives tongue' and announces that the quarry in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-corelli/fame-or-notoriety-whichever-that-special-noise-may-be-called-when-the/) [Marie Corelli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-corelli/) > [The worst danger of the mystic is as always a quest of spiritual privilege leading to aloofness from the common lot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vida-dutton-scudder/the-worst-danger-of-the-mystic-is-as-always-a-quest-of-spiritual/) [Vida Dutton Scudder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vida-dutton-scudder/) > [Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve its dignity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-g-dawes/mediocrity-requires-aloofness-to-preserve-its-dignity/) [Charles G. Dawes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-g-dawes/) > [“The world needs someone they can admire from a distance; from a very far distance.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-bassey-johnson/the-world-needs-someone-they-can-admire-from-a-distance-from-a-very/) [Michael Bassey Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-bassey-johnson/) > [Veganism can resurrect Eden and create heaven on Earth. We can have a place where humans view animals in awe, and animals view humans…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-yourofsky/veganism-can-resurrect-eden-and-create-heaven-on-earth-we-can-have-a/) [Gary Yourofsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-yourofsky/) [Browse all 32 Aloofness quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/aloofness/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I sometimes think of people’s personalities as the negative space around their insecurities. Afraid of intimacy? Cultivate aloofness. Feel invisible? Laugh loud and often. Drink too much? Play the gregarious basket case. Hate your body? Slash and burn others so you can climb up the pile. We construct elaborate palaces to hide our vulnerabilities, often growing into caricatures of what we fear. The goal is to move through the world without anyone knowing quite where to dig a thumb. It’s a survival instinct. When people know how to hurt you, they know how to control you. But when you're a fat person, you can't hide your vulnerability, because you are it and it is you. Being fat is like walking around with a sandwich board that says, \"HERE'S WHERE TO HURT ME!\" That's why reclaiming fatness--living visibly, declaring, \"I'm fat and I am not ashamed\"--is a social tool so revolutionary, so liberating, it saves lives.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lindy West" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/i-sometimes-think-of-people-s-personalities-as-the-negative-space/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Aloofness" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lindy-west/i-sometimes-think-of-people-s-personalities-as-the-negative-space/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4e/lindy-west-7781_aloofness_i-sometimes-think-of-people-s-personalit_2223498.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4e/lindy-west-7781_aloofness_i-sometimes-think-of-people-s-personalit_2223498.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4e/lindy-west-7781_aloofness_i-sometimes-think-of-people-s-personalit_2223498.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I sometimes think of people’s personalities as the negative space around their insecurities. 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