--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The difference between guilt and shame is…" description: "\"The difference between guilt and shame is very clear--in theory. We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are. A person feels guilt bec..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/671/lewis-b-smedes-4850_ashamed_the-difference-between-guilt-and-shame-i_1143765.png" --- # The difference between guilt and shame is very clear--in… ![“The difference between guilt and shame is very clear--in theory. We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are. A person feels guilt because he did something wrong. A person feels shame because he is something wrong. We may feel guilty because we lied to our mother. We may feel…” quote by Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/671/lewis-b-smedes-4850_ashamed_the-difference-between-guilt-and-shame-i_1143765.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/671/lewis-b-smedes-4850_ashamed_the-difference-between-guilt-and-shame-i_1143765.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/671/lewis-b-smedes-4850_ashamed_the-difference-between-guilt-and-shame-i_1143765.png) > “The difference between guilt and shame is very clear--in theory. We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are. A person feels guilt because he did something wrong. A person feels shame because he is something wrong. We may feel guilty because we lied to our mother. We may feel shame because we are not the person our mother wanted us to be.” [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Guilt targets actions we regret; shame targets our self‑identity. Recognizing the distinction helps us address behavior versus self‑esteem. **In simple terms:** Guilt is about deeds, shame about self. Key Takeaway Identify the source of your discomfort. Themes psychology self‑awareness morality Mood reflective introspective Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - personal counseling - relationship conflict - ethical decision making Key Concepts self‑concept responsibility emotional regulation Questions to Reflect On - Are you blaming yourself for who you are or what you did? - How can you separate behavior from identity? A Different Perspective Shame can be more pervasive and harder to resolve than guilt. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Ashamed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ashamed/) [Clear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/clear/) [Difference Guilt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/difference-guilt-2811112/) [Differences](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/differences/) [Different](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/different/) [Feel Guilty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel-guilty/) [Feel Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel-shame/) [Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Feels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/) [Feels Guilt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels-guilt-2871753/) [Guilt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilt/) [Guilt And Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilt-and-shame/) [Guilt Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilt-shame-399996/) [Guilty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilty/) [Lied](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lied/) [Lying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lying/) [May](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/may/) [Mother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mother/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Persons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/persons/) [Regret](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/regret/) [Shame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shame/) [Theory](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/theory/) [Want](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/want/) [Wanted](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wanted/) [Wrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wrong/) ## Related quotes > [We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/we-feel-guilty-for-what-we-do-we-feel-shame-for-what-we-are/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [There is a certain kind of pain that can change you. Even the strongest sword, when placed in a raging fire, will soften and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-gidwitz/there-is-a-certain-kind-of-pain-that-can-change-you-even-the/) [Adam Gidwitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-gidwitz/) > [I would rather have these things weigh on my mind. At the end of this tunnel of guilt and shame, there must be a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ani-difranco/i-would-rather-have-these-things-weigh-on-my-mind-at-the-end-of-this/) [Ani DiFranco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ani-difranco/) > [Our life is so short that every time I see my children, I enjoy them as much as I can. 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Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-p-young/) > [Child abuse is one of those issues that's very difficult to talk about because it's surrounded by guilt and shame and so on, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-hemsworth/child-abuse-is-one-of-those-issues-that-s-very-difficult-to-talk/) [Chris Hemsworth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-hemsworth/) > [“Hell existed in the imagination of those who feared it, because of the guilt and shame they carried with them after death.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-barbosa/hell-existed-in-the-imagination-of-those-who-feared-it-because-of-the/) [Andrea Barbosa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-barbosa/) > [Emotions like guilt and shame cut you off from web of existence and that causes inflammation in the body. I would recommend that you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/emotions-like-guilt-and-shame-cut-you-off-from-web-of-existence-and/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [“The scene was not without a mixture of awe, such as must always invest the spectacle of guilt and shame in a fellow creature,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-hawthorne/the-scene-was-not-without-a-mixture-of-awe-such-as-must-always-invest/) [Nathaniel Hawthorne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-hawthorne/) > [Quite often I have been faced with people who were praised and admired for their talents and their achievements... According to prevailing attitudes, these…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-miller/quite-often-i-have-been-faced-with-people-who-were-praised-and/) [Alice Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-miller/) > [“Comfort came in and stood with an appearance of guilt and shame. Her head bent, her eyes soaked with tears, her hands and legs,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-bassey-johnson/comfort-came-in-and-stood-with-an-appearance-of-guilt-and-shame-her/) [Michael Bassey Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-bassey-johnson/) > [I had a lot of guilt and shame when I was running from God, but nothing like when I was running for God. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jud-wilhite/i-had-a-lot-of-guilt-and-shame-when-i-was-running-from-god-but/) [Jud Wilhite](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jud-wilhite/) > [We are all familiar with the feelings of guilt and shame. They are really bothersome and nagging emotions that dont go away that easily.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dranil-kr-sinha/we-are-all-familiar-with-the-feelings-of-guilt-and-shame-they-are/) [DrAnil Kr Sinha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dranil-kr-sinha/) > [“But love of our parents is the only love for which we are not responsible. And perhaps we are responsible even for the love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernhard-schlink/but-love-of-our-parents-is-the-only-love-for-which-we-are-not/) [Bernhard Schlink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernhard-schlink/) ## More by Lewis B. Smedes > [Nothing is more private than a woman's body; it is her physical, emotional, and moral citadel. She cannot be free at all if she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/nothing-is-more-private-than-a-woman-s-body-it-is-her-physical/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [...Forgiving is not having to understand. Understanding may come later, in fragments, an insight here and a glimpse there, after forgiving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/forgiving-is-not-having-to-understand-understanding-may-come-later-in/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [The God who has the whole world in his hands has grace for the whole world in his heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/the-god-who-has-the-whole-world-in-his-hands-has-grace-for-the-whole/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Nobody sees reality whole; we all need others to show us the parts of it that they see better than we do. Nobody sees…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/nobody-sees-reality-whole-we-all-need-others-to-show-us-the-parts-of/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [I have discovered that most people who tell me that they cannot forgive a person who wronged them are handicapped by a mistaken understanding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/i-have-discovered-that-most-people-who-tell-me-that-they-cannot/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Spoken forgiveness, no matter how heartfelt, works best when we do not demand the response we want. I mean that when we tell people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/spoken-forgiveness-no-matter-how-heartfelt-works-best-when-we-do-not/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/forgiving-does-not-erase-the-bitter-past-a-healed-memory-is-not-a/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [We feel properly embarrassed when we are caught doing something that makes us look inept, knuckleheaded, or inappropriate. Maybe the difference is this: we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/we-feel-properly-embarrassed-when-we-are-caught-doing-something-that/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/forgiving-does-not-erase-the-bitter-past-a-healed-memory-is-not-a-2/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [When I feel the joy of receiving a gift my heart nudges me to join creation's ballet, the airy dance of giving and receiving,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/when-i-feel-the-joy-of-receiving-a-gift-my-heart-nudges-me-to-join/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Our sense of fairness tells us that people should pay for the wrong they do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/our-sense-of-fairness-tells-us-that-people-should-pay-for-the-wrong/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Gratitude is the best feeling I would ever have, the ultimate joy of living.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/gratitude-is-the-best-feeling-i-would-ever-have-the-ultimate-joy-of/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [My father was only thirty-one when he died of a heart attack, much too young for a father to die and leave his young…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/my-father-was-only-thirty-one-when-he-died-of-a-heart-attack-much-too/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [The only way to heal the pain which will not heal itself is to forgive the person who hurt you. Forgiveness heals the memory's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/the-only-way-to-heal-the-pain-which-will-not-heal-itself-is-to/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [If you cannot free people from their wrongs and see them as the needy people they are, you enslave yourself to your own painful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/if-you-cannot-free-people-from-their-wrongs-and-see-them-as-the-needy/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) [Explore all 106 Lewis B. Smedes quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) ## More Ashamed quotes > [If my child had prejudice in his head, I'd be ashamed. I would see it as my failure as a parent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/salman-rushdie/if-my-child-had-prejudice-in-his-head-i-d-be-ashamed-i-would-see-it/) [Salman Rushdie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/salman-rushdie/) > [I know what you're thinking... and you oughtta be ashamed of yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-preston/i-know-what-you-re-thinking-and-you-oughtta-be-ashamed-of-yourself/) [Robert Preston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-preston/) > [You never meet the writer when you're making a TV movie in America - they're too ashamed to show up and see how their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-don-baker/you-never-meet-the-writer-when-you-re-making-a-tv-movie-in-america/) [Joe Don Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-don-baker/) > [I'm not ashamed of the things I believe and why I believe them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-huckabee/i-m-not-ashamed-of-the-things-i-believe-and-why-i-believe-them/) [Mike Huckabee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-huckabee/) > [If, with all the time at my disposal, with all the wealth of the resources of this vast universe, to do with as I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-green-ingersoll/if-with-all-the-time-at-my-disposal-with-all-the-wealth-of-the/) [Robert Green Ingersoll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-green-ingersoll/) > [“with her own life. 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Just like it was no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-ruffalo/there-was-no-mistake-in-us-making-abortion-legal-and-available-on/) [Mark Ruffalo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-ruffalo/) > [“When all are undressed, one is somehow not ashamed, but when one's the only one undressed and everybody is looking, it's degrading,' he kept…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fyodor-dostoyevsky/when-all-are-undressed-one-is-somehow-not-ashamed-but-when-one-s-the/) [Fyodor Dostoyevsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fyodor-dostoyevsky/) > [There are a great many colored people who are ashamed of the cake-walk, but I think they ought to be proud of it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-weldon-johnson/there-are-a-great-many-colored-people-who-are-ashamed-of-the-cake/) [James Weldon Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-weldon-johnson/) > [I love him who is ashamed when the dice fall in his favour, and who then asketh: "Am I a dishonest player?" - for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/i-love-him-who-is-ashamed-when-the-dice-fall-in-his-favour-and-who/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [“Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zondervan-publishing/whoever-is-ashamed-of-me-and-my-words-the-son-of-man-will-be-ashamed/) [Zondervan Publishing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zondervan-publishing/) > [You were never created to live depressed, defeated, guilty, condemned, ashamed or unworthy. You were created to be victorious.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joel-osteen/you-were-never-created-to-live-depressed-defeated-guilty-condemned/) [Joel Osteen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joel-osteen/) > [I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-swift/i-never-wonder-to-see-men-wicked-but-i-often-wonder-to-see-them-not/) [Jonathan Swift](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-swift/) > [“To survive during the Khmer Rouge, you had to steal, cheat, lie, point fingers at others, even kill. And now you are ashamed.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joel-brinkley/to-survive-during-the-khmer-rouge-you-had-to-steal-cheat-lie-point/) [Joel Brinkley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joel-brinkley/) [Browse all 1,607 Ashamed quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ashamed/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The difference between guilt and shame is very clear--in theory. We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are. A person feels guilt because he did something wrong. A person feels shame because he is something wrong. We may feel guilty because we lied to our mother. We may feel shame because we are not the person our mother wanted us to be.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lewis B. 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