--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: None of us wants to admit that we hate…" description: "\"None of us wants to admit that we hate someone... When we deny our hate we detour around the crisis of forgiveness. We suppress our spite, make adjustm..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f04/lewis-b-smedes-4850_adjustment_none-of-us-wants-to-admit-that-we-hate-s_592692.png" --- # None of us wants to admit that we hate someone... When we… ![“None of us wants to admit that we hate someone... When we deny our hate we detour around the crisis of forgiveness. We suppress our spite, make adjustments, and make believe we are too good to be hateful. But the truth is that we do not dare to risk admitting the hate we feel because we do not…” quote by Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f04/lewis-b-smedes-4850_adjustment_none-of-us-wants-to-admit-that-we-hate-s_592692.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f04/lewis-b-smedes-4850_adjustment_none-of-us-wants-to-admit-that-we-hate-s_592692.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f04/lewis-b-smedes-4850_adjustment_none-of-us-wants-to-admit-that-we-hate-s_592692.png) > “None of us wants to admit that we hate someone... When we deny our hate we detour around the crisis of forgiveness. We suppress our spite, make adjustments, and make believe we are too good to be hateful. But the truth is that we do not dare to risk admitting the hate we feel because we do not dare to risk forgiving the person we hate.” [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Denial of hatred prevents true forgiveness; confronting hate is necessary to move toward reconciliation. **In simple terms:** Admitting hate is needed to forgive. Key Takeaway Face your feelings to heal relationships. Themes forgiveness hate self-awareness psychology Mood thoughtful hopeful Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - conflict resolution - personal therapy - relationship repair Key Concepts cognitive dissonance emotional honesty risk taking Questions to Reflect On - What would change if you acknowledged your hate? - Can forgiveness exist without confronting negative emotions? A Different Perspective Ignoring hate can lead to suppressed resentment and hinder growth. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Crisis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/crisis/) [Detours](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/detours/) [Forgiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiveness/) [Forgiving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiving/) [Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate/) [Make believe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/make-believe/) [Risk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/risk/) [Spite](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spite/) ## Related quotes > [Deny you. Even though your hate for me is strong.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sevendust/deny-you-even-though-your-hate-for-me-is-strong/) [Sevendust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sevendust/) > [I get jealous. I never admit it, but I hate it when you talk about someone else. I only want you for me. ¤](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mee/i-get-jealous-i-never-admit-it-but-i-hate-it-when-you-talk-about/) [Mee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mee/) > [“The psyche questionnaire asks me to list the things I dislike. Why don’t they just use the word, hate? Why is everyone so afraid…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katherine-owen/the-psyche-questionnaire-asks-me-to-list-the-things-i-dislike-why-don/) [Katherine Owen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katherine-owen/) > [There are no short cuts, no detours in the Middle East.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/reuven-rivlin/there-are-no-short-cuts-no-detours-in-the-middle-east/) [Reuven Rivlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/reuven-rivlin/) > [In the armed forces, the chances of success are quite high. 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You will do well to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-watterson/i-tell-you-all-this-because-it-s-worth-recognizing-that-there-is-no/) [Bill Watterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-watterson/) > [Ideally a painter (and, generally, an artist) should not become conscious of his insights: without taking the detour through his reflective processes, and incomprehensibly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rainer-maria-rilke/ideally-a-painter-and-generally-an-artist-should-not-become-conscious/) [Rainer Maria Rilke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rainer-maria-rilke/) > [Punctuation marks are the traffic signals of language: they tell us to slow down, notice this, take a detour, and stop.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lynne-truss/punctuation-marks-are-the-traffic-signals-of-language-they-tell-us-to/) [Lynne Truss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lynne-truss/) > [And from the moment that I saw you, I knew you was trouble, But I disregarded detour signs, And did not stop til you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mos-def/and-from-the-moment-that-i-saw-you-i-knew-you-was-trouble-but-i/) [Mos Def](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mos-def/) > [We make a lot of detours, but we're always heading for the same destination](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/we-make-a-lot-of-detours-but-we-re-always-heading-for-the-same/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [I believe that on any trip to heaven, there are always detours through hell.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-finney/i-believe-that-on-any-trip-to-heaven-there-are-always-detours-through/) [Richard Finney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-finney/) ## More by Lewis B. Smedes > [Nothing is more private than a woman's body; it is her physical, emotional, and moral citadel. She cannot be free at all if she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/nothing-is-more-private-than-a-woman-s-body-it-is-her-physical/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [...Forgiving is not having to understand. Understanding may come later, in fragments, an insight here and a glimpse there, after forgiving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/forgiving-is-not-having-to-understand-understanding-may-come-later-in/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [The God who has the whole world in his hands has grace for the whole world in his heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/the-god-who-has-the-whole-world-in-his-hands-has-grace-for-the-whole/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Nobody sees reality whole; we all need others to show us the parts of it that they see better than we do. Nobody sees…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/nobody-sees-reality-whole-we-all-need-others-to-show-us-the-parts-of/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [I have discovered that most people who tell me that they cannot forgive a person who wronged them are handicapped by a mistaken understanding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/i-have-discovered-that-most-people-who-tell-me-that-they-cannot/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Spoken forgiveness, no matter how heartfelt, works best when we do not demand the response we want. I mean that when we tell people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/spoken-forgiveness-no-matter-how-heartfelt-works-best-when-we-do-not/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/forgiving-does-not-erase-the-bitter-past-a-healed-memory-is-not-a/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [We feel properly embarrassed when we are caught doing something that makes us look inept, knuckleheaded, or inappropriate. Maybe the difference is this: we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/we-feel-properly-embarrassed-when-we-are-caught-doing-something-that/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/forgiving-does-not-erase-the-bitter-past-a-healed-memory-is-not-a-2/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [When I feel the joy of receiving a gift my heart nudges me to join creation's ballet, the airy dance of giving and receiving,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/when-i-feel-the-joy-of-receiving-a-gift-my-heart-nudges-me-to-join/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Our sense of fairness tells us that people should pay for the wrong they do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/our-sense-of-fairness-tells-us-that-people-should-pay-for-the-wrong/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Gratitude is the best feeling I would ever have, the ultimate joy of living.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/gratitude-is-the-best-feeling-i-would-ever-have-the-ultimate-joy-of/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [My father was only thirty-one when he died of a heart attack, much too young for a father to die and leave his young…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/my-father-was-only-thirty-one-when-he-died-of-a-heart-attack-much-too/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [The only way to heal the pain which will not heal itself is to forgive the person who hurt you. Forgiveness heals the memory's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/the-only-way-to-heal-the-pain-which-will-not-heal-itself-is-to/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [If you cannot free people from their wrongs and see them as the needy people they are, you enslave yourself to your own painful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/if-you-cannot-free-people-from-their-wrongs-and-see-them-as-the-needy/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) [Explore all 106 Lewis B. Smedes quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) ## More Adjustment quotes > [There is only one party in the United States, the Property Party...and it has two right wings: Republican and Democrat. Republicans are a bit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gore-vidal/there-is-only-one-party-in-the-united-states-the-property-party-and/) [Gore Vidal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gore-vidal/) > [The human body has been designed to resist an infinite number of changes and attacks brought about by its environment. The secret of good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-johnson/the-human-body-has-been-designed-to-resist-an-infinite-number-of/) Harry Johnson > [The chances are that you have already come to believe that happiness is unattainable. But men have attained it. 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