--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: No one really forgives unless he has been…" description: "\"No one really forgives unless he has been hurt.\" — Lewis B. Smedes" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/517/lewis-b-smedes-4850_been_no-one-really-forgives-unless-he-has-bee_2331668.png" --- # No one really forgives unless he has been hurt. ![“No one really forgives unless he has been hurt.” quote by Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/517/lewis-b-smedes-4850_been_no-one-really-forgives-unless-he-has-bee_2331668.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/517/lewis-b-smedes-4850_been_no-one-really-forgives-unless-he-has-bee_2331668.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/517/lewis-b-smedes-4850_been_no-one-really-forgives-unless-he-has-bee_2331668.png) > “No one really forgives unless he has been hurt.” [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Forgiveness arises only after personal pain, as it requires empathy for the hurt. **In simple terms:** Forgiveness needs personal hurt. Key Takeaway Recognize your pain before forgiving. Themes forgiveness pain empathy Mood reflective somber Type ethical philosophical When to use this quote - relationship repair - personal healing - conflict resolution Key Concepts psychology ethical growth Questions to Reflect On - Can you forgive without feeling hurt? - What does hurt teach you about compassion? A Different Perspective Forgiveness may be impossible without genuine hurt. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Forgiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiveness/) ## Related quotes > [“A new day always forgives you, unless it's raining and you wake up in jail.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-thurber/a-new-day-always-forgives-you-unless-it-s-raining-and-you-wake-up-in/) [Bob Thurber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-thurber/) > [Jesus forgives sinners, not criminals.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/jesus-forgives-sinners-not-criminals/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [God forgives,but he never forgets!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patience/god-forgives-but-he-never-forgets/) Patience > [“Even if God forgives you, you do not forgive yourself. You live in your sorrow like a room of mirrors that reflects on and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-johns/even-if-god-forgives-you-you-do-not-forgive-yourself-you-live-in-your/) Rebecca Johns > [“Sometimes one forgives in order to remain in a relationship with someone she cares about, even if the person has caused her pain and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-jessop/sometimes-one-forgives-in-order-to-remain-in-a-relationship-with/) [Carolyn Jessop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-jessop/) > [“Give me strength to forgive. Because he who forgives is the greatest. And I know I cannot forget.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/me-a-selimovi/give-me-strength-to-forgive-because-he-who-forgives-is-the-greatest/) [Meša Selimović](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/me-a-selimovi/) > [“God forgives. Nowhere did it say that angels had to. I”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erin-r-bedford/god-forgives-nowhere-did-it-say-that-angels-had-to-i/) Erin R. Bedford > [Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/forgiving-does-not-erase-the-bitter-past-a-healed-memory-is-not-a/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Spoken forgiveness, no matter how heartfelt, works best when we do not demand the response we want. I mean that when we tell people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/spoken-forgiveness-no-matter-how-heartfelt-works-best-when-we-do-not/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [I have discovered that most people who tell me that they cannot forgive a person who wronged them are handicapped by a mistaken understanding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/i-have-discovered-that-most-people-who-tell-me-that-they-cannot/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [...Forgiving is not having to understand. Understanding may come later, in fragments, an insight here and a glimpse there, after forgiving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/forgiving-is-not-having-to-understand-understanding-may-come-later-in/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Love yourself love everyone if though you don't like them or if you've done them something Forgives is the key. . .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jordan-brown/love-yourself-love-everyone-if-though-you-don-t-like-them-or-if-you/) [Jordan Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jordan-brown/) > [“Experience tells us what not to do again & what to do better. Our heart forgives whilst our mind remembers and becomes the gatekeeper…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bluenscottish/experience-tells-us-what-not-to-do-again-what-to-do-better-our-heart/) Bluenscottish > [“Do not be misled into thinking that God simply forgives and forgets. If that were so, there would be no judgment.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eduvie-donald/do-not-be-misled-into-thinking-that-god-simply-forgives-and-forgets/) [Eduvie Donald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eduvie-donald/) > [Scorpio forgives but never forgets.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/scorpio-forgives-but-never-forgets/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Lewis B. Smedes > [Nothing is more private than a woman's body; it is her physical, emotional, and moral citadel. She cannot be free at all if she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/nothing-is-more-private-than-a-woman-s-body-it-is-her-physical/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [...Forgiving is not having to understand. Understanding may come later, in fragments, an insight here and a glimpse there, after forgiving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/forgiving-is-not-having-to-understand-understanding-may-come-later-in/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [The God who has the whole world in his hands has grace for the whole world in his heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/the-god-who-has-the-whole-world-in-his-hands-has-grace-for-the-whole/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Nobody sees reality whole; we all need others to show us the parts of it that they see better than we do. Nobody sees…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/nobody-sees-reality-whole-we-all-need-others-to-show-us-the-parts-of/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [I have discovered that most people who tell me that they cannot forgive a person who wronged them are handicapped by a mistaken understanding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/i-have-discovered-that-most-people-who-tell-me-that-they-cannot/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Spoken forgiveness, no matter how heartfelt, works best when we do not demand the response we want. I mean that when we tell people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/spoken-forgiveness-no-matter-how-heartfelt-works-best-when-we-do-not/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/forgiving-does-not-erase-the-bitter-past-a-healed-memory-is-not-a/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [We feel properly embarrassed when we are caught doing something that makes us look inept, knuckleheaded, or inappropriate. Maybe the difference is this: we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/we-feel-properly-embarrassed-when-we-are-caught-doing-something-that/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/forgiving-does-not-erase-the-bitter-past-a-healed-memory-is-not-a-2/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [When I feel the joy of receiving a gift my heart nudges me to join creation's ballet, the airy dance of giving and receiving,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/when-i-feel-the-joy-of-receiving-a-gift-my-heart-nudges-me-to-join/) [Lewis B. 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Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [The only way to heal the pain which will not heal itself is to forgive the person who hurt you. Forgiveness heals the memory's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/the-only-way-to-heal-the-pain-which-will-not-heal-itself-is-to/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [If you cannot free people from their wrongs and see them as the needy people they are, you enslave yourself to your own painful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/if-you-cannot-free-people-from-their-wrongs-and-see-them-as-the-needy/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) [Explore all 106 Lewis B. 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