--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Forgiving is an affair strictly between a…" description: "\"Forgiving is an affair strictly between a victim and a victimizer. Everyone else should step aside...The worst wounds I ever felt were the ones people ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a51/lewis-b-smedes-4850_affair_forgiving-is-an-affair-strictly-between_634675.png" --- # Forgiving is an affair strictly between a victim and a… ![“Forgiving is an affair strictly between a victim and a victimizer. Everyone else should step aside...The worst wounds I ever felt were the ones people gave to my children. Wrong my kids, you wrong me. And my hurt qualifies me to forgive you. But only for the pain you caused me when you wounded…” quote by Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a51/lewis-b-smedes-4850_affair_forgiving-is-an-affair-strictly-between_634675.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a51/lewis-b-smedes-4850_affair_forgiving-is-an-affair-strictly-between_634675.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a51/lewis-b-smedes-4850_affair_forgiving-is-an-affair-strictly-between_634675.png) > “Forgiving is an affair strictly between a victim and a victimizer. Everyone else should step aside...The worst wounds I ever felt were the ones people gave to my children. Wrong my kids, you wrong me. And my hurt qualifies me to forgive you. But only for the pain you caused me when you wounded them. My children alone are qualified to forgive you for what you did to them.” [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Forgiveness is a personal process between the harmed and the offender; others should not intervene. The deepest pain comes from harm done to loved ones, especially children. **In simple terms:** Forgiveness is between victim and offender; others stay out. Key Takeaway Forgive only when you truly understand the hurt. Themes forgiveness family justice Mood reflective somber hopeful Type ethical psychological advice When to use this quote - parenting - family conflict - legal disputes - counseling - community mediation Key Concepts personal responsibility emotional healing ethical boundaries Questions to Reflect On - How do you balance personal healing with the need for accountability? - When is it appropriate to involve others in a forgiveness process? A Different Perspective Forgiveness may be impossible if the offender shows no remorse or if power dynamics prevent honest dialogue. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Affair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/affair/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Felt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/felt/) [Forgive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgive/) [Forgive Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgive-pain-2671043/) [Forgiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiveness/) [Forgiving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiving/) [Forgiving Affair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiving-affair-5109091/) [Hurt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hurt/) [Kids](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kids/) [My children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/my-children/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Qualified](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/qualified/) [Qualified Forgive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/qualified-forgive-5109092/) [Should](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/should/) [Steps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/steps/) [Victim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/victim/) [Worst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/worst/) [Wounded](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wounded/) [Wounds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wounds/) ## Related quotes > [“Friend John, forgive me if I pain. 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The truth is...only you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-goodier/do-you-keep-pace-with-those-around-you-or-do-you-decide-yourself-just/) [Steve Goodier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-goodier/) > [ I glanced at Radu. "What, exactly is Louis-Cesare's problem?'. \[..\] Suddenly a speculative gleam lit his eyes. It made me nervous. 'He tends to… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-chance/i-glanced-at-radu-what-exactly-is-louis-cesare-s-problem-suddenly-a/) [Karen Chance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-chance/) > [Islam never differentiates between men and women as regards political rights and puts them on an equal footing. However, even if a woman is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yusuf-al-qaradawi/islam-never-differentiates-between-men-and-women-as-regards-political/) [Yusuf al-Qaradawi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yusuf-al-qaradawi/) ## More by Lewis B. Smedes > [Nothing is more private than a woman's body; it is her physical, emotional, and moral citadel. She cannot be free at all if she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/nothing-is-more-private-than-a-woman-s-body-it-is-her-physical/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [...Forgiving is not having to understand. Understanding may come later, in fragments, an insight here and a glimpse there, after forgiving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/forgiving-is-not-having-to-understand-understanding-may-come-later-in/) [Lewis B. Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) > [The God who has the whole world in his hands has grace for the whole world in his heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-b-smedes/the-god-who-has-the-whole-world-in-his-hands-has-grace-for-the-whole/) [Lewis B. 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Smedes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) [Explore all 106 Lewis B. Smedes quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-b-smedes/) ## More Affair quotes > [Histories never conclude; they just pause their prose. Their stories are, if they are truthful, untidy affairs, resistant to windings-up and sortings-out. They beat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simon-schama/histories-never-conclude-they-just-pause-their-prose-their-stories/) [Simon Schama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simon-schama/) > [Islam never differentiates between men and women as regards political rights and puts them on an equal footing. 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