---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It’s not loving that hurts, but the fear…"
description: "\"“It’s not loving that hurts, but the fear we associate with it that does.”\" — Leticia Rae"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be8/leticia-rae-35027_associate_it-s-not-loving-that-hurts-but-the-fear_1165379.jpg"
---

#  It’s not loving that hurts, but the fear we associate with…

![“It’s not loving that hurts, but the fear we associate with it that does.” quote by Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be8/leticia-rae-35027_associate_it-s-not-loving-that-hurts-but-the-fear_1165379.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be8/leticia-rae-35027_associate_it-s-not-loving-that-hurts-but-the-fear_1165379.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be8/leticia-rae-35027_associate_it-s-not-loving-that-hurts-but-the-fear_1165379.jpg)

> ““It’s not loving that hurts, but the fear we associate with it that does.””

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Love itself isn’t painful; the fear of vulnerability causes the hurt.

**In simple terms:** Fear of love causes pain, not love.

Key Takeaway

Face fear, embrace love.

Themes

vulnerability relationships fear

Mood

anxious hopeful

Type

advice reflective

When to use this quote

- dating
- marriage
- friendship
- therapy

Key Concepts

psychology attachment emotional health

Questions to Reflect On

- What fears arise when you love?
- How can you reduce fear in relationships?

A Different Perspective

Fear can be paralyzing and may prevent intimacy.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Fear and love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear-and-love/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Loving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loving/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/) [Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships/)

## Related quotes

> [“Getting shot hurts. Still my fear was growing because no matter how hard I tried to breath it seemed I was getting less &amp;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ronald-reagan/getting-shot-hurts-still-my-fear-was-growing-because-no-matter-how/)

[Ronald Reagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ronald-reagan/)

> [“You break my heart every day," he said. "Loving you hurts so much.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shalanda-stanley/you-break-my-heart-every-day-he-said-loving-you-hurts-so-much/)

Shalanda Stanley

> [Hating you, aren't easy. But loving you , hurts the most.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/hating-you-aren-t-easy-but-loving-you-hurts-the-most/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I love you but I can't be with you, you came to late into my life, my love is taking already by a person…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/glen-rambharack/i-love-you-but-i-can-t-be-with-you-you-came-to-late-into-my-life-my/)

[Glen Rambharack](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/glen-rambharack/)

> [“I rather die, than continue to love you. I rather have my last breath, than another thought of you. I rather go blind, than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-starr/i-rather-die-than-continue-to-love-you-i-rather-have-my-last-breath/)

A. Starr

> [“Everyone we let into our lives has the power to hurt us. Sometimes they will, and sometimes they won't, but that's not a reflection…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/krystal-sutherland/everyone-we-let-into-our-lives-has-the-power-to-hurt-us-sometimes/)

[Krystal Sutherland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/krystal-sutherland/)

> [“Never apologize for loving someone. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lynette-noni/never-apologize-for-loving-someone-even-when-it-hurts-especially-when/)

[Lynette Noni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lynette-noni/)

> [“Someday you’re gonna realize that no one on this earth will ever love you the way I do. You’ll wish you’d said the words,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashley-jeffery/someday-you-re-gonna-realize-that-no-one-on-this-earth-will-ever-love/)

[Ashley Jeffery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashley-jeffery/)

> [I love you. I can't live without you. I feel so incomplete without you. You are a part of me and I can't live…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hemantsmarty/i-love-you-i-can-t-live-without-you-i-feel-so-incomplete-without-you/)

Hemantsmarty

> [They wanted it because they've got some sort of darkness in them. And maybe because they like pain. Because pain turns them on. Well,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larissa-ione/they-wanted-it-because-they-ve-got-some-sort-of-darkness-in-them-and/)

[Larissa Ione](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larissa-ione/)

> [Most people fink love hurts but hey love is suppose to be beautiful .. Rejection hurts .. Loving someone and she not loving u…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kyn/most-people-fink-love-hurts-but-hey-love-is-suppose-to-be-beautiful/)

Kyn

> [It's not the loving that hurts this girl; it's the understanding of it for what it is, that it will never be returned in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-cohn/it-s-not-the-loving-that-hurts-this-girl-it-s-the-understanding-of-it/)

[Rachel Cohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-cohn/)

> [It can be the most difficult thing to do, but love conquers fear and love conquers hate and this love that you choose will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katy-perry/it-can-be-the-most-difficult-thing-to-do-but-love-conquers-fear-and/)

[Katy Perry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katy-perry/)

> [“Fear and love are very much the same. They both make your heart race and your body shake. They make you tremble and anticipate.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-m-frazier/fear-and-love-are-very-much-the-same-they-both-make-your-heart-race/)

[T.M. Frazier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-m-frazier/)

> [This is because fear and love are enemies. They come from two opposing kingdoms. Fear comes from the devil, who would like nothing more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danny-silk/this-is-because-fear-and-love-are-enemies-they-come-from-two-opposing/)

[Danny Silk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danny-silk/)

## More by Leticia Rae

> [“Action is a powerful thing. When you smile through your sadness, it can completely change your outlook. Try it! Smile :) Now hold onto…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/action-is-a-powerful-thing-when-you-smile-through-your-sadness-it-can/)

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

> [“Inhale the present, exhale the past and the future.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/inhale-the-present-exhale-the-past-and-the-future/)

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

> [The love we seek is inside ourselves. When we project that love onto others, it comes back to us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/the-love-we-seek-is-inside-ourselves-when-we-project-that-love-onto/)

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

> [“When you read or hear ‘don’t change for anyone,’ that doesn’t mean not to grow or improve yourself. Personal development is not changing into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/when-you-read-or-hear-don-t-change-for-anyone-that-doesn-t-mean-not/)

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

> [“Not everyone knows how to be a good parent. Not everyone knows the right things to do or the right things to say. We…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/not-everyone-knows-how-to-be-a-good-parent-not-everyone-knows-the/)

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

> [“You only have as much time as you think you do. Start telling yourself you have enough time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/you-only-have-as-much-time-as-you-think-you-do-start-telling-yourself/)

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

> [“I was told many times not to burn bridges. It made me feel like once I burned a bridge, that was it. Now I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/i-was-told-many-times-not-to-burn-bridges-it-made-me-feel-like-once-i/)

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

> [“The most beautiful things you can wear are your self-confidence and your self-love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/the-most-beautiful-things-you-can-wear-are-your-self-confidence-and/)

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

> [“If you give up, it's over. But if you press on, you will either discover the rewards of persisting towards your goal or you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/if-you-give-up-it-s-over-but-if-you-press-on-you-will-either-discover/)

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

> [“Being a positive person doesn’t mean you don’t feel negative emotions. It means you have faith in your ability to get through tough situations,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/being-a-positive-person-doesn-t-mean-you-don-t-feel-negative-emotions/)

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

> [“Silver linings are always there, even when we don't choose to look up.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/silver-linings-are-always-there-even-when-we-don-t-choose-to-look-up/)

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

> [“Life is more satisfying when we spend more time appreciating what we already have instead of longing for what we don’t have.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/life-is-more-satisfying-when-we-spend-more-time-appreciating-what-we/)

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

[Explore all 13 Leticia Rae quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

## More Associate quotes

> [As we progress and become more like the Savior, we can strengthen every group with whom we associate, including families and friends.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-b-wirthlin/as-we-progress-and-become-more-like-the-savior-we-can-strengthen/)

[Joseph B. Wirthlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-b-wirthlin/)

> [“Some of our friends are our friends only because we used to be friends.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/some-of-our-friends-are-our-friends-only-because-we-used-to-be-friends/)

[Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/)

> [After all these years, I definitely associate having a pen in my hand with having an ashtray just out of eye line.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-stoppard/after-all-these-years-i-definitely-associate-having-a-pen-in-my-hand/)

[Tom Stoppard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-stoppard/)

> [Associate with those on your level, not the ones who bring you down a few.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/associate-with-those-on-your-level-not-the-ones-who-bring-you-down-a/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“When you walk with trash, you end up smelling the same.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-liccione/when-you-walk-with-trash-you-end-up-smelling-the-same/)

[Anthony Liccione](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-liccione/)

> [One of the ways you learn about life is to associate with people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-ron-hubbard/one-of-the-ways-you-learn-about-life-is-to-associate-with-people/)

[L. Ron Hubbard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-ron-hubbard/)

> [The best feeling is when you are remembered for the character you play on the screen and people associate you with that character. There…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepika-padukone/the-best-feeling-is-when-you-are-remembered-for-the-character-you/)

[Deepika Padukone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepika-padukone/)

> [I think most people associate me with my dad.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-buck/i-think-most-people-associate-me-with-my-dad/)

[Joe Buck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-buck/)

> [All too often education actually acts as a form of aversion therapy, that what we're really teaching our children is to associate learning with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-moore/all-too-often-education-actually-acts-as-a-form-of-aversion-therapy/)

[Alan Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-moore/)

> [If they conducted a raid in this room, you'd all be policed up. They'd take all of you to Abu Ghraib and turn you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janis-karpinski/if-they-conducted-a-raid-in-this-room-you-d-all-be-policed-up-they-d/)

[Janis Karpinski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janis-karpinski/)

> [Music is supposed to create an associate level, wherein I and you and you and I can associate without any misunderstanding.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/burning-spear/music-is-supposed-to-create-an-associate-level-wherein-i-and-you-and/)

[Burning Spear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/burning-spear/)

> [As we are, so we associate. The good, by affinity, seek the good; the vile, by affinity, the vile. Thus of their own volition,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/as-we-are-so-we-associate-the-good-by-affinity-seek-the-good-the-vile/)

[Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/)

> [When I started my life as a baby lawyer, I was interviewing with all the best firms then at the time, and one of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine-lagarde/when-i-started-my-life-as-a-baby-lawyer-i-was-interviewing-with-all/)

[Christine Lagarde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christine-lagarde/)

> [You can't be a professor without having been a student. You can't be a consultant without having been a research associate. So, if you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nirmalya-kumar/you-can-t-be-a-professor-without-having-been-a-student-you-can-t-be-a/)

[Nirmalya Kumar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nirmalya-kumar/)

> [“Poverty has deceived many of us into believing that some people who are in that state love the food, clothes, places, and people that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/poverty-has-deceived-many-of-us-into-believing-that-some-people-who/)

[Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/)

Browse all 107 Associate quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“It’s not loving that hurts, but the fear we associate with it that does.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Leticia Rae"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/it-s-not-loving-that-hurts-but-the-fear-we-associate-with-it-that-does/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Associate"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/it-s-not-loving-that-hurts-but-the-fear-we-associate-with-it-that-does/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be8/leticia-rae-35027_associate_it-s-not-loving-that-hurts-but-the-fear_1165379.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be8/leticia-rae-35027_associate_it-s-not-loving-that-hurts-but-the-fear_1165379.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be8/leticia-rae-35027_associate_it-s-not-loving-that-hurts-but-the-fear_1165379.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“It’s not loving that hurts, but the fear we associate with it that does.” — Leticia Rae",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Leticia Rae",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“It’s not loving that hurts, but...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/it-s-not-loving-that-hurts-but-the-fear-we-associate-with-it-that-does/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/it-s-not-loving-that-hurts-but-the-fear-we-associate-with-it-that-does/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
