--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: One of the most surprising forms of…" description: "\"One of the most surprising forms of nonverbal communication is the way we automatically adjust the amount of time we spend looking into another's eyes ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/003/leonard-mlodinow-7753_adjust_one-of-the-most-surprising-forms-of-nonv_764453.jpg" --- # One of the most surprising forms of nonverbal… ![“One of the most surprising forms of nonverbal communication is the way we automatically adjust the amount of time we spend looking into another's eyes as a function of our relative social position.” quote by Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/003/leonard-mlodinow-7753_adjust_one-of-the-most-surprising-forms-of-nonv_764453.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/003/leonard-mlodinow-7753_adjust_one-of-the-most-surprising-forms-of-nonv_764453.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/003/leonard-mlodinow-7753_adjust_one-of-the-most-surprising-forms-of-nonv_764453.jpg) > “One of the most surprising forms of nonverbal communication is the way we automatically adjust the amount of time we spend looking into another's eyes as a function of our relative social position.” [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Eye contact duration changes unconsciously based on perceived social hierarchy. **In simple terms:** We adjust how long we look at others depending on status. Key Takeaway Be aware of subtle power cues. Themes social hierarchy nonverbal communication psychology Mood analytical observational Type psychological educational When to use this quote - meetings - interviews - first dates - public speaking Key Concepts status perception eye contact dynamics Questions to Reflect On - How does status affect your comfort in conversation? - Can you consciously adjust eye contact to bridge gaps? A Different Perspective May reinforce social inequality. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Adjust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adjust/) [Amount](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/amount/) [Another](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/another/) [Automatically](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/automatically/) [Communication](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communication/) [Eyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/eyes/) [Eyes Function](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/eyes-function-5921810/) [Forms](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forms/) [Function](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/function/) [Looking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/looking/) [Looking Eyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/looking-eyes/) [Most](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/most/) [Nonverbal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nonverbal/) [Nonverbal Communication](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nonverbal-communication/) [Our](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/our/) [Position](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/position/) [Relative](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relative/) [Relative Social](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relative-social-3597523/) [Social](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/social/) [Spend](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spend/) [Surprising](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surprising/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/) ## Related quotes > [Scientists attach great importance to the human capacity for spoken language. But we also have a parallel track of nonverbal communication, which may reveal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/scientists-attach-great-importance-to-the-human-capacity-for-spoken/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [Nonverbal communication forms a social language that is in many ways richer and more fundamental than our words.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/nonverbal-communication-forms-a-social-language-that-is-in-many-ways/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [“ BUT WHAT DO I SAY If you are most concerned about what to say when you first meet someone, you may be directing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-berent/but-what-do-i-say-if-you-are-most-concerned-about-what-to-say-when/) [Jonathan Berent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-berent/) > [“When it comes to leadership, silence is nonverbal communication. It communicates agreement and grants permission by saying, “What you’re doing is fine.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bevere/when-it-comes-to-leadership-silence-is-nonverbal-communication-it/) [John Bevere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bevere/) > [The chimpanzees taught me a lot about nonverbal communication. The big difference between them and us is that they don't have spoken language. Everything…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-goodall/the-chimpanzees-taught-me-a-lot-about-nonverbal-communication-the-big/) [Jane Goodall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-goodall/) > [“This is the magic of nonverbal communication. It allows us to pursue illicit agendas, even ones that require coordinating with other people, while minimizing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-simler/this-is-the-magic-of-nonverbal-communication-it-allows-us-to-pursue/) [Kevin Simler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-simler/) > [I was analyzing the guys' nonverbal communication.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/glen-davis/i-was-analyzing-the-guys-nonverbal-communication/) [Glen Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/glen-davis/) > [“Another fascinating example of esoteric knowledge adopted by the informed to communicate secretly was the use of sign language for the deaf. Unknown to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-blech/another-fascinating-example-of-esoteric-knowledge-adopted-by-the/) [Benjamin Blech](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-blech/) > [When you're around somebody for a long period of time, they know you and you know them. So, there's a lot of nonverbal communication…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bobby-wagner/when-you-re-around-somebody-for-a-long-period-of-time-they-know-you/) [Bobby Wagner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bobby-wagner/) > [“Did you get the cup?" I held it up. "Is it the right one?" she said. I am not good at nonverbal communication, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/did-you-get-the-cup-i-held-it-up-is-it-the-right-one-she-said-i-am/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [Nonverbal communication is an elaborate secret code that is written nowhere, known by none, and understood by all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-sapir/nonverbal-communication-is-an-elaborate-secret-code-that-is-written/) [Edward Sapir](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-sapir/) > [One notable feature is that English doesn't have much of a system for expressing relative social status.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-crystal/one-notable-feature-is-that-english-doesn-t-have-much-of-a-system-for/) [David Crystal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-crystal/) > [We routinely participate in elaborate nonverbal exchanges even when we are not consciously aware of doing so.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/we-routinely-participate-in-elaborate-nonverbal-exchanges-even-when/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [My drawing, like that of most cartoonists, is intended first of all to be functional: to create believable space, and communicate information. My strongest…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-abel/my-drawing-like-that-of-most-cartoonists-is-intended-first-of-all-to/) [Jessica Abel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-abel/) > [“And the transformation in our social world, in terms of technology-based communication rather than face-to-face conversation, is huge. In texts, tweets, and e-mails we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mona-dekoven-fishbane/and-the-transformation-in-our-social-world-in-terms-of-technology/) [Mona Dekoven Fishbane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mona-dekoven-fishbane/) ## More by Leonard Mlodinow > [Science has revealed a universe that is vast, ancient, violent, strange, and beautiful, a universe of almost infinite variety and possibility one in which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/science-has-revealed-a-universe-that-is-vast-ancient-violent-strange/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [I always liked movies, so I started writing for Hollywood, but my day job was physics.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/i-always-liked-movies-so-i-started-writing-for-hollywood-but-my-day/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [“At the University of Bologna, there was another bizarre twist on what is the norm today: students fined their professors for unexcused absence or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/at-the-university-of-bologna-there-was-another-bizarre-twist-on-what/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [“The first step in battling the illusion of control is to be aware of if. But even then it is difficult, once we think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/the-first-step-in-battling-the-illusion-of-control-is-to-be-aware-of/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [Social connection is such a basic feature of human experience that when we are deprived of it, we suffer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/social-connection-is-such-a-basic-feature-of-human-experience-that/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [You have to have passion for a subject to write about it. You can't expect your readers to feel any excitement if it's nothing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/you-have-to-have-passion-for-a-subject-to-write-about-it-you-can-t/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [We routinely participate in elaborate nonverbal exchanges even when we are not consciously aware of doing so.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/we-routinely-participate-in-elaborate-nonverbal-exchanges-even-when/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [Touch seems to be such an important tool for enhancing social cooperation and affiliation that we have evolved a special physical route along which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/touch-seems-to-be-such-an-important-tool-for-enhancing-social/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [“In fact, when some wedding guest inevitably complains about the seating arrangements, you might point out how long it would have taken you to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/in-fact-when-some-wedding-guest-inevitably-complains-about-the/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [Whether it's fiction or nonfiction, writing takes me to another world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/whether-it-s-fiction-or-nonfiction-writing-takes-me-to-another-world/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [Says Bargh: "We all hold dear idea that we´re the captain of our own sould, and we´re in charge, and it´s a very scary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/says-bargh-we-all-hold-dear-idea-that-we-re-the-captain-of-our-own/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [My best subjects were chemistry and math.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/my-best-subjects-were-chemistry-and-math/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [We should keep in mind that it is easy to concoct stories explaining the past or to become confident about dubious scenarios of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/we-should-keep-in-mind-that-it-is-easy-to-concoct-stories-explaining/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [Subliminal is about how we misinterpret our behavior because were unaware of what our unconscious minds are doing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/subliminal-is-about-how-we-misinterpret-our-behavior-because-were/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) > [I've always loved science, as far back as I can remember. I was very, very curious about how everything worked: the world, the physical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/i-ve-always-loved-science-as-far-back-as-i-can-remember-i-was-very/) [Leonard Mlodinow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) [Explore all 88 Leonard Mlodinow quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/) ## More Adjust quotes > [We are reaching deep within ourselves to adjust the master knob.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-kelly/we-are-reaching-deep-within-ourselves-to-adjust-the-master-knob/) [Kevin Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-kelly/) > [I am not a mind reader. Please adjust your communication skills accordingly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nishan-panwar/i-am-not-a-mind-reader-please-adjust-your-communication-skills/) [Nishan Panwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nishan-panwar/) > [You adjust what you do depending on the actor. You evolve a vocabulary and a way of language and talking with each actor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-c-wolfe/you-adjust-what-you-do-depending-on-the-actor-you-evolve-a-vocabulary/) [George C. Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-c-wolfe/) > [“Monitor and adjust. That’s the key to effective leadership, indoors or out.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-bregman/monitor-and-adjust-that-s-the-key-to-effective-leadership-indoors-or/) [Peter Bregman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-bregman/) > [I’m from New Jersey / I don’t expect too much / If the world ended today / I would adjust…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-gorka/i-m-from-new-jersey-i-don-t-expect-too-much-if-the-world-ended-today/) [John Gorka](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-gorka/) > [We have to figure out why we see the world in different ways and then how are we going to adjust so that we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/celeste-ng/we-have-to-figure-out-why-we-see-the-world-in-different-ways-and-then/) [Celeste Ng](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/celeste-ng/) > [If your plan isn't working, adjust your plan. Never give up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-martin/if-your-plan-isn-t-working-adjust-your-plan-never-give-up/) [Matt Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-martin/) > [The Malays are spiritually inclined, tolerant, and easy-going. The non-Malays, and especially the Chinese, are materialistic, aggressive, and have an appetite for work. For…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahathir-mohamad/the-malays-are-spiritually-inclined-tolerant-and-easy-going-the-non/) [Mahathir Mohamad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahathir-mohamad/) > [Italians are great improvisers. If something unforeseen happens, they throw up their hands, and they adjust.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-von-sydow/italians-are-great-improvisers-if-something-unforeseen-happens-they/) [Max von Sydow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-von-sydow/) > [Marc Gasol, everybody compares me to him. I try to look up to him and see how he plays and adjust my game like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ivica-zubac/marc-gasol-everybody-compares-me-to-him-i-try-to-look-up-to-him-and/) [Ivica Zubac](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ivica-zubac/) > [The implications of likability are long-lasting and serious. Women adjust their behavior to be likable and as a result have less power in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/the-implications-of-likability-are-long-lasting-and-serious-women/) [Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/) > [Both multiplayer games and online forums have this property of virtual anonymity. Other people can't really see you; they don't really know who you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-sweeney/both-multiplayer-games-and-online-forums-have-this-property-of/) [Tim Sweeney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-sweeney/) > [Whether it's college or WNBA, its basketball and the more you play the less you need to adjust.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-taurasi/whether-it-s-college-or-wnba-its-basketball-and-the-more-you-play-the/) [Diana Taurasi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-taurasi/) > [I think everybody has to adjust to it. I don't know if anybody fully is prepared for zero-degree football.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-watt/i-think-everybody-has-to-adjust-to-it-i-don-t-know-if-anybody-fully/) [T. J. Watt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-watt/) > [Everybody has to take curveballs as they come in life and hopefully have the ability to adjust their plans.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-sullivan/everybody-has-to-take-curveballs-as-they-come-in-life-and-hopefully/) [Chris Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-sullivan/) [Browse all 307 Adjust quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adjust/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "One of the most surprising forms of nonverbal communication is the way we automatically adjust the amount of time we spend looking into another's eyes as a function of our relative social position.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Leonard Mlodinow" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/one-of-the-most-surprising-forms-of-nonverbal-communication-is-the/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Adjust" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/one-of-the-most-surprising-forms-of-nonverbal-communication-is-the/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/003/leonard-mlodinow-7753_adjust_one-of-the-most-surprising-forms-of-nonv_764453.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/003/leonard-mlodinow-7753_adjust_one-of-the-most-surprising-forms-of-nonv_764453.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/003/leonard-mlodinow-7753_adjust_one-of-the-most-surprising-forms-of-nonv_764453.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“One of the most surprising forms of nonverbal communication is the way we automatically adjust the amount of…” — Leonard Mlodinow", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Leonard Mlodinow", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonard-mlodinow/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "One of the most surprising forms...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/one-of-the-most-surprising-forms-of-nonverbal-communication-is-the/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonard-mlodinow/one-of-the-most-surprising-forms-of-nonverbal-communication-is-the/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```