--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: As often happens between people who have…" description: "\"“As often happens between people who have chosen different ways, each of them, while rationally justifying the other's activity, despised it in his hea..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/88b/leo-tolstoy-55_despised_as-often-happens-between-people-who-have_1350487.jpg" --- # As often happens between people who have chosen different… ![“As often happens between people who have chosen different ways, each of them, while rationally justifying the other's activity, despised it in his heart. To each of them it seemed that the life he led was the only real life, and the one his friend led was a mere illusion.” quote by Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/88b/leo-tolstoy-55_despised_as-often-happens-between-people-who-have_1350487.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/88b/leo-tolstoy-55_despised_as-often-happens-between-people-who-have_1350487.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/88b/leo-tolstoy-55_despised_as-often-happens-between-people-who-have_1350487.jpg) > ““As often happens between people who have chosen different ways, each of them, while rationally justifying the other's activity, despised it in his heart. To each of them it seemed that the life he led was the only real life, and the one his friend led was a mere illusion.”” [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People rationalize others' choices while secretly dismissing them, believing only their own path is real. **In simple terms:** We judge others while defending our own view. Key Takeaway Recognize bias in judgment. Themes perception judgment subjectivity human nature Mood thoughtful critical Type philosophical reflective When to use this quote - interpersonal conflict - ethical debates - personal relationships Key Concepts cognitive bias philosophical relativism Questions to Reflect On - How do you practice empathy? - What assumptions do you hold about others? A Different Perspective It can hinder empathy and understanding. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Despised](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/despised/) [Despised Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/despised-heart-4591735/) [Different ways](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/different-ways/) [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) [Illusion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/illusion/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Mere Illusion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mere-illusion-662978/) [People Chosen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people-chosen-771516/) [Perception-of-reality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/perception-of-reality-2/) [Real life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real-life/) ## Related quotes > [“There is but one reality, that is true -- but the two of you experience it in slightly different ways. The older you get,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-butcher/there-is-but-one-reality-that-is-true-but-the-two-of-you-experience/) [Jim Butcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-butcher/) > [Couldn't believe that out of 70K people, I was chosen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-gracin/couldn-t-believe-that-out-of-70k-people-i-was-chosen/) [Josh Gracin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-gracin/) > [The French people have chosen change. This change I will put into place.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicolas-sarkozy/the-french-people-have-chosen-change-this-change-i-will-put-into-place/) [Nicolas Sarkozy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicolas-sarkozy/) > [My therapist shared a theory she had come across, and I liked it. It held that before making your next journey in this life,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-gilbert/my-therapist-shared-a-theory-she-had-come-across-and-i-liked-it-it/) [Melissa Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-gilbert/) > [Every people is a chosen people in its own mind. And it is rather amusing that their name for themselves usually means mankind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-campbell/every-people-is-a-chosen-people-in-its-own-mind-and-it-is-rather/) [Joseph Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-campbell/) > [I think in some reality shows people are chosen because they are laughably bad, so that the nation and the panel and everybody else…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-hancock/i-think-in-some-reality-shows-people-are-chosen-because-they-are/) [Sheila Hancock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheila-hancock/) > [Whenever you have a proclamation of being chosen, it's always a self-defining process. 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We have to abandon the thinking that there is a bunch of politically elite people who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-carson/i-would-support-whoever-the-people-have-chosen-we-have-to-abandon-the/) [Benjamin Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-carson/) > [“it turns out we were some people which has been chosen by God to be happy in a different way # beggars”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ys-sroyer/it-turns-out-we-were-some-people-which-has-been-chosen-by-god-to-be/) [ys sroyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ys-sroyer/) > [“We want to live as people chosen, blessed, and broken, and thus become food for the world.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-j-m-nouwen/we-want-to-live-as-people-chosen-blessed-and-broken-and-thus-become/) [Henri J.M. Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-j-m-nouwen/) > [“All things, my son, transmute into old age, life diminishes, everything declines, the proliferation of kinds is a mere illusion, and no one knows…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-g-sebald-2/all-things-my-son-transmute-into-old-age-life-diminishes-everything/) [W.G. Sebald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-g-sebald-2/) > [“But only in order to know if you, as you really are now, see yourself as you once were with all the illusions that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luigi-pirandello/but-only-in-order-to-know-if-you-as-you-really-are-now-see-yourself/) [Luigi Pirandello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luigi-pirandello/) > [A system of morality which is based on relative emotional values is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception which has nothing sound in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/socrates/a-system-of-morality-which-is-based-on-relative-emotional-values-is-a/) [Socrates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/socrates/) ## More by Leo Tolstoy > [These joys were so trifling as to be as imperceptible as grains of gold among the sand, and in moments of depression she saw…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/these-joys-were-so-trifling-as-to-be-as-imperceptible-as-grains-of/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [The only significance of life consists in helping to establish the kingdom of God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/the-only-significance-of-life-consists-in-helping-to-establish-the/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [“I already love in you your beauty, but I am only beginning to love in you that which is eternal and ever precious –…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/i-already-love-in-you-your-beauty-but-i-am-only-beginning-to-love-in/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [Energy rests upon love; and come as it will, there's no forcing it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/energy-rests-upon-love-and-come-as-it-will-there-s-no-forcing-it/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [“If you only knew what those society women are, and women in general! My father is right. Selfish, vain, stupid, trivial in everything—that's what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/if-you-only-knew-what-those-society-women-are-and-women-in-general-my/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [To evoke in oneself a feeling one has once experienced, and having evoked it in oneself, then by means of movements, lines, colors, sounds,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/to-evoke-in-oneself-a-feeling-one-has-once-experienced-and-having/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [To speak of it would be giving importance to that which has none.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/to-speak-of-it-would-be-giving-importance-to-that-which-has-none/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [Once we're thrown off our habitual paths, we think all is lost, but it's only here that the new and the good begins.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/once-we-re-thrown-off-our-habitual-paths-we-think-all-is-lost-but-it/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [“He knew she was there by the rapture and the terror that seized on his heart. She was standing talking to a lady at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/he-knew-she-was-there-by-the-rapture-and-the-terror-that-seized-on/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [Rest, nature, books, music...such is my idea of happiness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/rest-nature-books-music-such-is-my-idea-of-happiness/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [“He was not to blame for being born with an irrepressible charachter and a mind some how constrained.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/he-was-not-to-blame-for-being-born-with-an-irrepressible-charachter/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [I ask one thing only: I ask for the right to hope, to suffer as I do. But if even that cannot be, command…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/i-ask-one-thing-only-i-ask-for-the-right-to-hope-to-suffer-as-i-do/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [The idea shared by many that life is a vale of tears is just as false as the idea shared by the great majority,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/the-idea-shared-by-many-that-life-is-a-vale-of-tears-is-just-as-false/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [To say that a work of art is good, but incomprehensible to the majority of men, is the same as saying of some kind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/to-say-that-a-work-of-art-is-good-but-incomprehensible-to-the/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [True life is lived when tiny changes occur.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/true-life-is-lived-when-tiny-changes-occur/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) [Explore all 1,754 Leo Tolstoy quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) ## More Despised quotes > [He lacked tenderness; he was rude; and he had more than a streak of cruelty in him; he was a thief and a liar.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daphne-du-maurier/he-lacked-tenderness-he-was-rude-and-he-had-more-than-a-streak-of/) [Daphne du Maurier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daphne-du-maurier/) > [You are still despised and mocked, A man too weak and infirm to be God, A God too much man to call forth adoration.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/khalil/you-are-still-despised-and-mocked-a-man-too-weak-and-infirm-to-be-god/) [Khalil](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/khalil/) > [“He had despised that Mary with her idiot smile, symbol of a story that meant nothing, servant of a God who no good to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-hill/he-had-despised-that-mary-with-her-idiot-smile-symbol-of-a-story-that/) [Joe Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-hill/) > [Amidst the flood of dangerous reading, I plead for my Master's book; I call upon you not to forget the book of the soul.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-c-ryle/amidst-the-flood-of-dangerous-reading-i-plead-for-my-master-s-book-i/) [J. C. Ryle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-c-ryle/) > [At a time when painting itself often seems to be a threatened, even despised, form of artistic activity, Andrew Salgado emerges as a dazzlingly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-lucie-smith/at-a-time-when-painting-itself-often-seems-to-be-a-threatened-even/) [Edward Lucie-Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-lucie-smith/) > [And if thy heart be straight with God then every creature shall be to thee a mirror of life and a book of holy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-a-kempis/and-if-thy-heart-be-straight-with-god-then-every-creature-shall-be-to/) [Thomas a Kempis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-a-kempis/) > [Unless a man gives himself entirely to the Cross, in a spirit of humility and self-abasement; unless he casts himself down to be trampled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-the-evangelist/unless-a-man-gives-himself-entirely-to-the-cross-in-a-spirit-of/) [Mark the Evangelist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-the-evangelist/) > [I'd rather be despised for my character than be liked for my lack of it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-d-rather-be-despised-for-my-character-than-be-liked-for-my-lack-of/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It is easy enough to say that poverty is no crime. No; if it were men wouldn't be ashamed of it. It is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerome-k-jerome/it-is-easy-enough-to-say-that-poverty-is-no-crime-no-if-it-were-men/) [Jerome K. Jerome](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerome-k-jerome/) > [Many men without morals have attacked religion because it was contrary to their inclinations. Many wise men have despised it because it seemed to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/baron-d-holbach/many-men-without-morals-have-attacked-religion-because-it-was/) [Baron d'Holbach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/baron-d-holbach/) > [“For immediately in the beginning, after his original life of blessedness, the first man despised the command of God, and fell into this mortal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eusebius-of-caesarea/for-immediately-in-the-beginning-after-his-original-life-of/) [Eusebius of Caesarea](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eusebius-of-caesarea/) > [I like to give a voice to others, especially things neglected or despised.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edwin-morgan/i-like-to-give-a-voice-to-others-especially-things-neglected-or/) [Edwin Morgan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edwin-morgan/) > [Which was worse: a friend with brain damage, or one who despised you?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-westerfeld/which-was-worse-a-friend-with-brain-damage-or-one-who-despised-you/) [Scott Westerfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-westerfeld/) > [The native American has been generally despised by his white conquerors for his poverty and simplicity. They forget, perhaps, that his religion forbade the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-alexander-eastman/the-native-american-has-been-generally-despised-by-his-white/) [Charles Alexander Eastman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-alexander-eastman/) > [“What is believed in one man's time, is despised in another man's day. To be sure, there will even be revulsion in some future…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pat-o-shea/what-is-believed-in-one-man-s-time-is-despised-in-another-man-s-day/) [Pat O'Shea](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pat-o-shea/) [Browse all 319 Despised quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/despised/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“As often happens between people who have chosen different ways, each of them, while rationally justifying the other's activity, despised it in his heart. 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