--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I would become a priest or a rabbi or a…" description: "\"I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e04/lenny-bruce-4320_funny_i-would-become-a-priest-or-a-rabbi-or-a_2894387.jpg" --- # I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever… ![“I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.” quote by Lenny Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e04/lenny-bruce-4320_funny_i-would-become-a-priest-or-a-rabbi-or-a_2894387.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e04/lenny-bruce-4320_funny_i-would-become-a-priest-or-a-rabbi-or-a_2894387.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e04/lenny-bruce-4320_funny_i-would-become-a-priest-or-a-rabbi-or-a_2894387.jpg) > “I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.” [Lenny Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lenny-bruce/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. He jokes about exploiting religious authority to cheat people while pretending to obey the law, highlighting hypocrisy. **In simple terms:** He mocks using religion to justify theft. Key Takeaway Question moral double standards. Themes hypocrisy religion ethics law money miracles Mood ironic provocative critical Type satirical humorous philosophical When to use this quote - stand-up performance - political commentary - cultural criticism Key Concepts Satire social critique comedy Questions to Reflect On - Is it ever justified to bend rules for personal gain? - How does humor expose societal contradictions? A Different Perspective The joke may trivialize serious religious exploitation. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Funny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/funny/) [Hell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hell/) [Law](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/law/) [Mines](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mines/) [Miracle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/miracle/) [Miracles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/miracles/) [Miracles Taking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/miracles-taking-3214132/) [Money](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/money/) [Monk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/monk/) [Monk Hell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/monk-hell-3051448/) [Perform Miracles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/perform-miracles-613935/) [Pockets](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pockets/) [Priests](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/priests/) [Rabbi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rabbi/) [Stills](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stills/) [Taking Money](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/taking-money-1715908/) ## Related quotes > [“A monk lived near the temple of Shiva. In the house opposite lived a prostitute. Noticing the large number of men who visited her,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/a-monk-lived-near-the-temple-of-shiva-in-the-house-opposite-lived-a/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [Men and women in all parts of the world have a desperate need to take time from their demanding routines of everyday life and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-russell-ballard/men-and-women-in-all-parts-of-the-world-have-a-desperate-need-to-take/) [M. Russell Ballard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-russell-ballard/) > [Our miracles may be taking a very long time to come… But God didn't bring us this far just to leave us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mercy-pheona/our-miracles-may-be-taking-a-very-long-time-to-come-but-god-didn-t/) [Mercy Pheona](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mercy-pheona/) > [I didn't defraud the government by taking money that was not mine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wesley-snipes/i-didn-t-defraud-the-government-by-taking-money-that-was-not-mine/) [Wesley Snipes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wesley-snipes/) > [Many nations are like rebellious teenagers who try to figure out just how many times they can kick us in the teeth while still…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-weyrich/many-nations-are-like-rebellious-teenagers-who-try-to-figure-out-just/) [Paul Weyrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-weyrich/) > [I understand gas prices are like a hidden tax - not a hidden tax; it's taking money out of people's pockets. I know that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-w-bush/i-understand-gas-prices-are-like-a-hidden-tax-not-a-hidden-tax-it-s/) [George W. Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-w-bush/) > [A typical Ponzi scheme involves taking money from investors, then paying them off with money taken from new investors, rather than paying them from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-goodman/a-typical-ponzi-scheme-involves-taking-money-from-investors-then/) [Amy Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-goodman/) > [“But once you start taking money out of my pocket, I got to say something.” He spits deliberately. “Your land sets right in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-haigh/but-once-you-start-taking-money-out-of-my-pocket-i-got-to-say/) [Jennifer Haigh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-haigh/) > [Whatever you do needs to be sustainable over time, and taking the money in the short term and taking it in a bubble -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-bettman/whatever-you-do-needs-to-be-sustainable-over-time-and-taking-the/) [Gary Bettman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-bettman/) > [On everything I do I'm always taking someone's money, whether it's a movie studio or a record label. Somebody's paying for it, and I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/spike-jonze/on-everything-i-do-i-m-always-taking-someone-s-money-whether-it-s-a/) [Spike Jonze](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/spike-jonze/) > [“I feel like taking her money AND her soul is not cool. One or the other.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tucker-max/i-feel-like-taking-her-money-and-her-soul-is-not-cool-one-or-the-other/) [Tucker Max](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tucker-max/) > [In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/in-general-the-art-of-government-consists-in-taking-as-much-money-as/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [There are pros and cons to taking money. The best kind of company is one where you don't have to take any moneyI funded…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-ozzie/there-are-pros-and-cons-to-taking-money-the-best-kind-of-company-is/) [Ray Ozzie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-ozzie/) > [In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one class of citizens to give to another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/in-general-the-art-of-government-consists-of-taking-as-much-money-as/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [Nothing wrong in taking more money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jagapathi-babu/nothing-wrong-in-taking-more-money/) [Jagapathi Babu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jagapathi-babu/) ## More by Lenny Bruce > [Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/satire-is-tragedy-plus-time-you-give-it-enough-time-the-public-the/) [Lenny Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lenny-bruce/) > [I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/i-am-influenced-by-every-second-of-my-waking-hour/) [Lenny Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lenny-bruce/) > [Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/never-trust-a-preacher-with-more-than-two-suits/) [Lenny Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lenny-bruce/) > [I would be with a bunch of Kennedy fans watching the debate, and their comment would be, 'He's really slaughtering Nixon.' 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B'nai B'rith is goyish; Hadassah, Jewish. If you live in New…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/dig-i-m-jewish-count-basie-s-jewish-ray-charles-is-jewish-eddie/) [Lenny Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lenny-bruce/) > [I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/i-won-t-say-ours-was-a-tough-school-but-we-had-our-own-coroner-we/) [Lenny Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lenny-bruce/) > [“If you can't say "Fuck" you can't say, "Fuck the government.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/if-you-can-t-say-fuck-you-can-t-say-fuck-the-government/) [Lenny Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lenny-bruce/) > [“Take away the right to say ‘fuck’ and you take away the right to say ‘fuck the government.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/take-away-the-right-to-say-fuck-and-you-take-away-the-right-to-say/) [Lenny Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lenny-bruce/) > [The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/the-role-of-a-comedian-is-to-make-the-audience-laugh-at-a-minimum-of/) [Lenny Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lenny-bruce/) > [If I get busted in New York, the freest city in the world, that will be the end of my career.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/if-i-get-busted-in-new-york-the-freest-city-in-the-world-that-will-be/) [Lenny Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lenny-bruce/) > [“Liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/liberals-can-understand-everything-but-people-who-don-t-understand/) [Lenny Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lenny-bruce/) [Explore all 112 Lenny Bruce quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lenny-bruce/) ## More Funny quotes > [You cant be controlling in improv.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-walsh/you-cant-be-controlling-in-improv/) [Matt Walsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-walsh/) > [When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. 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It's just this sense that you got something to say.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-lehrer/it-s-a-hard-thing-to-describe-it-s-just-this-sense-that-you-got/) [Jonah Lehrer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-lehrer/) > [God reveals Himself through surprises.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-francis/god-reveals-himself-through-surprises/) [Pope Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-francis/) > [Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/sometimes-i-look-at-my-awesome-twitter-followers-think-to-myself-what/) [Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/) > [The happy have whole days,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colley-cibber/the-happy-have-whole-days/) [Colley Cibber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colley-cibber/) > [Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/congratulations-to-facebook-on-going-public-with-all-my-private/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Why are things as they are and not otherwise?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johannes-kepler/why-are-things-as-they-are-and-not-otherwise/) [Johannes Kepler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johannes-kepler/) > [I've been funny my whole life. 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Think AS the market.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-fishman/don-t-think-of-the-market-think-as-the-market/) [Michael Fishman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-fishman/) [Browse all 39,858 Funny quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/funny/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as taking money from someone else's pocket and putting it into mine, still remaining within the confines of the law.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lenny Bruce" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/i-would-become-a-priest-or-a-rabbi-or-a-monk-or-whatever-the-hell-was/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Funny" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/i-would-become-a-priest-or-a-rabbi-or-a-monk-or-whatever-the-hell-was/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e04/lenny-bruce-4320_funny_i-would-become-a-priest-or-a-rabbi-or-a_2894387.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e04/lenny-bruce-4320_funny_i-would-become-a-priest-or-a-rabbi-or-a_2894387.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e04/lenny-bruce-4320_funny_i-would-become-a-priest-or-a-rabbi-or-a_2894387.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I would become a priest or a rabbi or a monk or whatever the hell was necessary to perform miracles such as…” — Lenny Bruce", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Lenny Bruce", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lenny-bruce/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I would become a priest or...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/i-would-become-a-priest-or-a-rabbi-or-a-monk-or-whatever-the-hell-was/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/i-would-become-a-priest-or-a-rabbi-or-a-monk-or-whatever-the-hell-was/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```